Oldest daughter is coming home from college for a week. Dad's doing a happy dance. Lansing might be closer, but that city never had a song nearly as fun written about it.

Posted by: Ted at 06:52 AM | category: Family matters
No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 44 words, total size 1 kb.

Last week Mookie tried to kill me in the shower. This morning Sam the dog tried to finish the job. I walked downstairs into the basement, and right at the foot of the stairs he left a puddle, invisible on the linoleum. There was nothing graceful about the crash this time, and luckily nothing beyond my dignity was bruised. Sam did have the decency to stand at the top of the steps and look mildly concerned, but I suspect he was worried I wouldn't be able to make the walk into the pantry for his morning treat.

All of this brings up a question for all you pet owners and animal lovers. I'll see if I can make sense of it and post it at lunch. I'll be interested to hear your opinions.

Posted by: Ted at 06:36 AM | category: Family matters
Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 139 words, total size 1 kb.

Ladies, when you use your potions in the shower or bath, please Please PLEASE rinse the tub out completely when you're done.

Guys are easy, I have soap, and I have yellow shampoo to wash my hair. Once in a while, for a change Liz gets me the blue shampoo. Simple, eh?

The ladies seem to need fourteen bottles and jars of every shape and color and scent, which is ok. Really, as long as you rinse the tub.

This morning, I turn on the water, step into the shower, and immediately careen the length of the tub like Sonja Henie on crack until I crash into the far wall. The judges loved the originality, but deducted style points for the cursing.

You're going to kill us with crap like this! And if you're trying for that, we don't want to know. For myself, I'm going to stop at Home Depot on the way home and pick up the biggest damn sheets of wet-sand paper I can find, and epoxy them to the floor of the tub.

And WD-40 the toilet seats.

Posted by: Ted at 05:43 AM | category: Family matters
Comments (8) | Add Comment
Post contains 184 words, total size 1 kb.

1 I hope you didn't break anything, Ted!

Posted by: Susie at February 12, 2004 07:05 AM (0+cMc)

2 I managed to not fall. I'm usually more careful and not so trusting, but at 4:30am... well, you know.

Posted by: Ted at February 12, 2004 07:56 AM (blNMI)

3 I'm with you, Brother, I'm with you.

Posted by: Paul at February 12, 2004 08:24 AM (gCHYp)

4 First of all, I'm grateful you didn't fall and put your eye out or break a hip or something. Still, the thought of you sliding across the tub makes me laugh...

...until I realize you're probably naked...

(I'd expect the exact same reaction from you, truth be told.)

Posted by: Victor at February 12, 2004 09:12 AM (L3qPK)

5 Victor, in your imagination I should be dressed in one of three things:

1. Tails, complete with Top Hat and white gloves.
2. A wetsuit and swim fins (I look alot like Lloyd Bridges in this one).
3. A ballerina tutu.

It's entirely up to you, whatever is funnier. Rerun it through your mind and let me know how it goes.

Posted by: Ted at February 12, 2004 09:20 AM (blNMI)

6 Gee thanks, guys--the banter between you and Victor should keep me cleaning my monitor for the rest of the day...

As for the toilet seat, Hubby suggests using that silicone lubricant instead of WD-40. Says it's even better.

In defense of some women I must inform you, Ted, that not every girl is inclined to use twenty different kinds of exotic cleanser in the shower. I have my shampoo and my soap just like you do. I cycle through a few of them because the human body gets "used to" the formulation of a certain cleaner after a while and "compensates" so it isn't as effective. So it might be a different soap and shampoo every few months, but it's still very basic!

(Anyways, as blind as I am I'd lose track of which bottle is which and probably end up putting Nair on my scalp thinking it's leave-in conditioner, while trying to depilatorize my legs with Vidal Sassoon conditioner...)

--TwoDragons

Posted by: Denita TwoDragons at February 12, 2004 11:15 AM (ZhUWC)

7 3. A ballerina tutu.

My imagination! It's scarred for life.
(and my keyboard needs to be replaced)

Posted by: GEBIV at February 12, 2004 11:18 AM (KxldS)

8 The Tu-Tu. Jeez Louise, did you expect me to say anything else?

It's been awhile since I've worn my tu-tu. No real occasions for it, actually. I'm not even sure where it is.

I'd post a picture of me wearing it, but I was 40 pounds heavier then. Believe it or not, I'm more embarrased about *that* then I am the fact that a photograph exists of me standing out in public in a tu-tu and a feather tiara. Ask my gf if you don't believe me.

Posted by: Victor at February 12, 2004 04:48 PM (L3qPK)

Hide Comments | Add Comment

Just heard from oldest daughter Robyn, who's back in school up in tropical Michigan. She's been working with the admin folks to see if she would get credits for her high school International Baccalaureate (IB) classes.

Thanks to the IB courses and the community college classes she took, after one semester she's now officially a sophomore.

(proud papa mode on) She's majoring in math, with a minor in education, and talking about going on for her Master's at Michigan State so as to teach at college level. (screw it, I'm proud and it's staying on for awhile)

Posted by: Ted at 12:06 PM | category: Family matters
Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 101 words, total size 1 kb.

Oldest daughter forgot one of her CD's when she went away to college. I threw it in my case so it didn't get scratched up, and it's been sitting there for a couple of months now. Today at work I popped it into my little boom box.

Robyn, I mean this in the most loving way possible: you have rotten taste in music.

Posted by: Ted at 08:06 AM | category: Family matters
Comments (3) | Add Comment
Post contains 67 words, total size 1 kb.

1 Which CD is it? I want to know if I should evicerate your poor taste in music on my blog.

Posted by: Kin at October 21, 2003 11:21 AM (FPO9K)

2 She put this one together herself. I recognize about half the songs from CD's I own. I assume the rest come from the crap she listens to.

Posted by: Ted at October 21, 2003 12:53 PM (bov8n)

3 Okay, I don't make fun of your music, you shouldn't make fun of mine...besides, I am eclectic...(that and I don't remember what CD you are talking about)...
you know you love me anyways

Posted by: Robyn at October 21, 2003 01:43 PM (gWcjd)

Hide Comments | Add Comment

Today is my daughter Robyn's 19th Birthday. Have a great one kiddo, and remember what Dad told you; sex is really really painful until you're 30 years old.

Posted by: Ted at 09:56 AM | category: Family matters
No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 34 words, total size 1 kb.

Care package is on the way. Sweaters and sweatshirts and cookies. Stay warm sweetie.

Love,
Dad

Posted by: Ted at 11:30 AM | category: Family matters
Comments (3) | Add Comment
Post contains 20 words, total size 1 kb.

It's been a very good day, and I'd like to say thank you for all of the special wishes and good things sent my way.

My blog-friends, you've all become very special to me in a very short time, and the only way I could feel more affection for you would be if you provided sexual favors and/or cash (to be negotiated separately from each of you).

On the family front, I heard from both kids who have already fled the nest, had a very good dinner waiting for me tonight, and after my favorite cake (spice w/ vanilla frosting, decorated with skulls & crossbones in black icing - I've been told that that's very cool), I was presented with a Sears gift card, DVD's of Animal House and Monty Python's Meaning of Life. Then my wife topped it all off by letting me know that she had made a substantial contribution to Ted's Big Honkin' Rocket Motor Fund. As Mookie would say: Woot!

Posted by: Ted at 09:28 PM | category: Family matters
Comments (4) | Add Comment
Post contains 176 words, total size 1 kb.