June 26, 2006

Oh man, this is too funny (more Chris Pronger crap)

Rocket Jones is now #1 on Google if you search "Chris Pronger Hate". Go me!

One of the other links on that page led to an article in the Edmonton Journal that gives 28 reasons to hate San Jose. I was raised in San Jose, so as a native I'll have to say that a lot of it is wrong, although some of it sounds like the crap that convinced me to move away and never go back.

Here's the best of 'em. The ones where he doesn't sound like a whiney little bitch.

1. That song. You know, the one with San Jose in the title and chorus? You know, the Dionne-frickin'-Warwick song from 1968? I hate that song.

2. But no matter how much we hate that song, it pales to how deeply they despise it in San Jose. They're ashamed. Just mentioning it makes them cringe and squirm. Oiler fans should belt it out in Game 3.

3. All together now: "Yesss WEEEE Know the WAAAY to Saaaan Jose." That will mess up those Josers.


This is priceless. "Josers"!!!! I love it.

I hate to break it to him though, but people from San Jose don't hate that song. In fact, we seldom even think about it. Now, Edmonton had a song written about it too, called "I shot a bear rootin' through my trash cans (or maybe it was Chris Pronger)". Regional hit.

4. San Jose wants you to spell its name with one of those accent things over the letter E. Talk about pree-tentious.

If so, I agree. I'll also state that no native son would do that, so it's probably those immigrants. You know, those rich millionaire dot-commers. Pretentious pricks, all of 'em, so it wouldn't surprise me.

5. Sharks fans like to photoshop pictures of Chris Pronger and post them on the team's website. One such photo makes it appear as if Pronger wears panties. Another puts the rugged Oiler defenceman in a pink leotard and blond wig. This is outrageous. This is hockey blasphemy.

6. Sharks fans also like to call him Chrissy Pronger. No, this is war.


ROFLMAO See my post below. I wonder how much Edmonton loves Chrissy now?

9. The first commercial broccoli farm was in San Jose. You hate broccoli, right? Blame San Jose. Get angry.

I thought that was Bush (Sr's) fault?

11. Hockey fans in San Jose think it's the height of wit to post pictures of great white sharks in the process of eating some Oilers player or another.

Oh please, it's the silicon valley. They post CGI clips of great white sharks eating Oilers players.

20. San Jose averages 300 sunny days a year and has a Mediterranean climate. Wimps.

ROFLMAO

The rest of 'em get rather personal and he takes some cheap shots at America and Americans in general. Whiney little bitch with an inferiority complex.

Posted by: Ted at 06:11 PM | category: Balls and Ice
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Did I mention that I hate Chris Pronger?

Word is that he quietly sold his house in Edmonton before the playoffs, and then after they lost in the finals he took a vacation in Mexico. While there, he had his agent demand a trade.

What a man.

More here (much more).

Thanks to Off Wing Opinion for the pointer.

Posted by: Ted at 06:24 AM | category: Balls and Ice
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June 20, 2006

Carolina Captures Cup

Congrats, Champions.

Posted by: Ted at 05:13 AM | category: Balls and Ice
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June 19, 2006

Rabid, mouth-frothing, spittle-dripping hatred in every word

Yep, it's another hockey post.

Tonight is the last game of the NHL season. Game 7 of the Stanley Cup finals.

I'll be watching, but I could really care less who wins because I hate both teams. That's not quite accurate, for although I hate the Carolina Hurricanes in their entirety, the only Edmonton Oiler that I really hate is Chris Pronger.

I absolutely understand that my feelings toward Chris Pronger are a manifestation of BDS. No, not that one, the other one: Bonds Derangement Syndrome.

Chris Pronger is and has always been a great player, but in his youth he was a dirty player. This opinion is offered up as viewed through my visceral dislike of him, so don't be emailing me facts and opinions. They mean nothing.

Nature is balance. Just like when Florence Nightengale was alive the Brooklyn Dodgers were created. Her goodness shone so brightly that an entire *team* of evil had to exist as a counterbalance. Wayne Gretzky is another example. Multiple winner of the Lady Byng Memorial Trophy, awarded to the player "who displays the best sportsmanship and gentlemanly conduct in addition to playing ability", Gretzky was so good that nature created the Philadelphia Flyers. Even that crew of goons wasn't enough, and players like Tie Domi, Eric Lindros and Todd Bertuzzi were caused to exist.

And yes, Chris Pronger.

Chris Pronger played for years for the St. Louis Blues, which until recently meant automatic playoffs and then a quiet exit in one of the early rounds. It's a good thing that he's gone deeper into the playoffs in his first year with Edmonton than he ever got with the Blues. He's matured, he's not the big-mouth hothead that he was in his youth, he's a team leader in Edmonton. And yes, I can admit that he's still a very very talented player. But he's still Chris Pronger, and I hate him.

So tonight I'll be watching game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals, but no matter who wins, it's going to be bittersweet for me. I actually am rooting for Edmonton, because Chris Pronger deserves to carry that Cup around the ice. Whoa, did I just say that? Must be the guilt talking.

Posted by: Ted at 05:11 AM | category: Balls and Ice
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June 06, 2006

Stick a fork in 'em, they're done

Blow a three goal lead? Yep.

Lose your goalie to a season-ending knee injury? Check.

Backup goalie badly flubs a play that allows the winning goal to score? Uh huh.

Edmonton, buh-bye.

Posted by: Ted at 05:03 AM | category: Balls and Ice
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June 05, 2006

Lord Stanley's Cup

Hockey finals start tonight. The Carolina Hurricanes take on the Edmonton Oilers.

The grid up top will be updated sometime today.

Posted by: Ted at 05:14 AM | category: Balls and Ice
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