Ladies, when you use your potions in the shower or bath, please Please PLEASE rinse the tub out completely when you're done.

Guys are easy, I have soap, and I have yellow shampoo to wash my hair. Once in a while, for a change Liz gets me the blue shampoo. Simple, eh?

The ladies seem to need fourteen bottles and jars of every shape and color and scent, which is ok. Really, as long as you rinse the tub.

This morning, I turn on the water, step into the shower, and immediately careen the length of the tub like Sonja Henie on crack until I crash into the far wall. The judges loved the originality, but deducted style points for the cursing.

You're going to kill us with crap like this! And if you're trying for that, we don't want to know. For myself, I'm going to stop at Home Depot on the way home and pick up the biggest damn sheets of wet-sand paper I can find, and epoxy them to the floor of the tub.

And WD-40 the toilet seats.

Posted by: Ted at 05:43 AM | category: Family matters
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1 I hope you didn't break anything, Ted!

Posted by: Susie at February 12, 2004 07:05 AM (0+cMc)

2 I managed to not fall. I'm usually more careful and not so trusting, but at 4:30am... well, you know.

Posted by: Ted at February 12, 2004 07:56 AM (blNMI)

3 I'm with you, Brother, I'm with you.

Posted by: Paul at February 12, 2004 08:24 AM (gCHYp)

4 First of all, I'm grateful you didn't fall and put your eye out or break a hip or something. Still, the thought of you sliding across the tub makes me laugh...

...until I realize you're probably naked...

(I'd expect the exact same reaction from you, truth be told.)

Posted by: Victor at February 12, 2004 09:12 AM (L3qPK)

5 Victor, in your imagination I should be dressed in one of three things:

1. Tails, complete with Top Hat and white gloves.
2. A wetsuit and swim fins (I look alot like Lloyd Bridges in this one).
3. A ballerina tutu.

It's entirely up to you, whatever is funnier. Rerun it through your mind and let me know how it goes.

Posted by: Ted at February 12, 2004 09:20 AM (blNMI)

6 Gee thanks, guys--the banter between you and Victor should keep me cleaning my monitor for the rest of the day...

As for the toilet seat, Hubby suggests using that silicone lubricant instead of WD-40. Says it's even better.

In defense of some women I must inform you, Ted, that not every girl is inclined to use twenty different kinds of exotic cleanser in the shower. I have my shampoo and my soap just like you do. I cycle through a few of them because the human body gets "used to" the formulation of a certain cleaner after a while and "compensates" so it isn't as effective. So it might be a different soap and shampoo every few months, but it's still very basic!

(Anyways, as blind as I am I'd lose track of which bottle is which and probably end up putting Nair on my scalp thinking it's leave-in conditioner, while trying to depilatorize my legs with Vidal Sassoon conditioner...)

--TwoDragons

Posted by: Denita TwoDragons at February 12, 2004 11:15 AM (ZhUWC)

7 3. A ballerina tutu.

My imagination! It's scarred for life.
(and my keyboard needs to be replaced)

Posted by: GEBIV at February 12, 2004 11:18 AM (KxldS)

8 The Tu-Tu. Jeez Louise, did you expect me to say anything else?

It's been awhile since I've worn my tu-tu. No real occasions for it, actually. I'm not even sure where it is.

I'd post a picture of me wearing it, but I was 40 pounds heavier then. Believe it or not, I'm more embarrased about *that* then I am the fact that a photograph exists of me standing out in public in a tu-tu and a feather tiara. Ask my gf if you don't believe me.

Posted by: Victor at February 12, 2004 04:48 PM (L3qPK)

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