Euphemistically, I'm big boned, hefty, cuddly, a teddy bear, healthy, a big guy, and circumferentially overachieving. I'm in shape, because round is a shape. I have the body of a god - Buddha. I'm currently on a diet. Actually, I'm on two diets, because one alone just wasn't giving me enough to eat. I'm well on my way to a career as a professional sumo wrestler. I'm thinking my sumo name would be Yomama - catchy, eh?

Realistically, I need to lose weight. I've needed to lose weight practically my entire life. Partly because I have the metabolism of a rock, and partly because I have a mostly desk-bound job and I love to eat. So it's not at all a mystery why I'm in the shape I'm in.

I'm not terribly unhealthy. My blood pressure is fine, so's my cholesterol. It doesn't kill me to climb a flight of stairs, and I don't think twice if I have to walk a mile or more to fetch a rocket.

Nobody knows more about diet and nutrition than a fat man in the military. You practically earn a degree on it as Uncle Sam counsels you and educates you. So I've seen a diet or two or twenty. Atkins is only the latest craze.

Low-fat. High-acid. Low-carb. Whatever. Here's my plan. It's called low-swallow. I'm going to quit eating so damn much. And I'm going to work up a sweat more often. Simple plan, now all I have to do is stick to it. And like anything else, now that I've announced it in my little corner of the universe, y'all can encourage me and make fun of me when I stumble. Go ahead, we're jolly you know.

Posted by: Ted at 09:27 AM | category: Seriously
Comments (4) | Add Comment
Post contains 293 words, total size 2 kb.

Last one of these for awhile, I promise.

Today Liz went to see her doctor. He removed her staples (14 of 'em, 11" incision), disconnected the plumbing, and - best of all - gave us the results of all the biopsies. Everything was benign. No cancer. Happy doesn't begin to describe me right now.

Posted by: Ted at 07:22 PM | category: Seriously
Comments (6) | Add Comment
Post contains 56 words, total size 1 kb.

1 This is wonderful news! I am so happy for your family!

Posted by: Tink at December 11, 2003 08:17 PM (Pp0b1)

2 Great news! But - ow - staples

Posted by: Pixy Misa at December 11, 2003 10:10 PM (kOqZ6)

3 Excellent news! Please extend my get well wishes to Liz...I'm sure she still has some healing up to do! And bravo zulu to you, Ted. Your love for and commitment to your family comes through in every post.

Posted by: nic at December 11, 2003 11:15 PM (16A49)

4 Nic said it better than I could, Ted. I'm glad everything worked out about as well as it could. Please extend my (and the rats and guinea pigs) get-well wishes to Liz, also.

Posted by: Victor at December 12, 2003 09:17 AM (16A49)

5 *does a little happy dance*

Posted by: Dawn at December 13, 2003 09:18 PM (0zfIx)

6 Hallelujah! I'll keep praying for her rapid recovery! Best Holiday Wishes to you and all your family, too!

Nothing like getting a miracle for Christmas, eh? :-)

--TwoDragons

Posted by: Denita TwoDragons at December 14, 2003 12:57 AM (TOPpF)

Hide Comments | Add Comment

Oldest daughter Robyn made it home for Christmas with no problems. She's working day #1 at her old job right now, making as much money as possible to pad her savings account before she heads back to school. She'll be working six days a week the entire time she's home, including (I think) both Christmas and New Years for holiday pay.

Liz came home from the hospital yesterday. Her doctor, her nurses, and Liz agreed that it would be a better thing than spending another day there. She'd gotten a new roomie, and from my observations, I think the lady was terminal. She was loud and (understandably) ornery, constantly demanding pain meds - which she got - and more often than not there was a nurse there to deal with her. Sometimes there were two or three. Lots of noisy machines were hooked up to her. She was being fed through an IV, but she bitched so much that they finally gave in and brought her a tray too. I overheard a doctor say basically that it didn't matter anyway.

I felt bad for her, but that's not a good environment for others to try to get well in, so they sent Liz home.

She's doing great. Slept soundly last night, and the dogs have gotten the idea that they are not allowed up in her lap. I'm at her beck and call, which would be funnier if I were a girl... 'beck and call girl'... shut up, I'm tired too, and I slept on the floor again. That's one of those character-building things my parents used to lie to me about.

Once again, thanks to all who sent well wishes and prayers. We appreciate them more than we can say. Now, I've got some half-completed interview questions to take care of.

Posted by: Ted at 12:48 PM | category: Seriously
Comments (9) | Add Comment
Post contains 306 words, total size 2 kb.

1 Woo hoo! Sounds like the skies are only gonna get sunnier from here!

Oh, and sleeping on the floor makes me have horrible nightmares. What's the trick? I'd hafta move a cot into the BR, or something.

Posted by: Tuning Spork at December 08, 2003 07:40 PM (sKUSu)

2 Good to hear that Liz is home and doing well.

Now I have to go and vote for you. Again

Posted by: Pixy Misa at December 09, 2003 01:05 AM (LBXBY)

3 Darn, it won't let me

Posted by: Pixy Misa at December 09, 2003 01:07 AM (LBXBY)

4 Bless you both...I'm glad Liz is okay.
(how're YOU doing?)

Posted by: Stevie at December 09, 2003 01:45 AM (5q9rA)

5 Glad to hear things are going well, and that the dogs are smart!

Posted by: Victor at December 09, 2003 08:22 AM (16A49)

6 Glad to hear Liz is home...hope all is well.

Posted by: Jennifer at December 09, 2003 10:23 AM (k+MKr)

7 Yay!

Posted by: LeeAnn at December 09, 2003 11:29 AM (HxCeX)

8 *shudder* Hospitals are only good for surgeries and meds. The supposed aftercare (and wretched roommates) are enough to drive you into a padded room. I'm glad Liz can come home to such an incredible nurse. Will you be in candy striper gear?

Posted by: Dawn at December 10, 2003 10:53 AM (L6pam)

9 Very glad to hear she's home and well.

Posted by: Simon at December 11, 2003 02:09 AM (GWTmv)

Hide Comments | Add Comment

Wow, I had no idea that Mookie got an email yesterday. For those who were wondering, mom and I discussed this with her a couple of weeks ago, and we had no problem with it. The only restrictions we put on it (besides the usual 'parent' ones), was that she had to arrange for her own rides back and forth because I would be busy, and that it depended on the weather.

With me spending all day at the hospital, there wasn't much difference between Mookie staying home or going to her friend's house. She doesn't like hospitals (who does?), and there just wasn't any point to her hanging around the house. I tried to get her to channel her anxiety into cleaning, but she wasn't fooled by that little ploy (and I noticed that she did do some yesterday before she left, probably a little stress-reduction on her part).

To whoever sent the email - or to those that thought the same thing - this wasn't a case of Mookie being selfish and unfeeling. I understand appearances, but this time you're wrong.

Posted by: Ted at 08:44 AM | category: Seriously
Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 185 words, total size 1 kb.

Thanks to all for the prayers and good wishes! Liz came through her surgery in good shape. Right now she's pretty well doped to the gills on morphine, and she's got the 'happy button' that she can press when she needs an extra jolt. We expect she'll be coming home on monday.

Posted by: Ted at 10:41 PM | category: Seriously
Comments (7) | Add Comment
Post contains 56 words, total size 1 kb.

1 I'm glad to hear it, Ted. We're continuing with the good wishes, tho. Couldn't hurt

Posted by: Victor at December 06, 2003 06:11 AM (16A49)

2 Fabulous news! Now I have to go to Mookie's site to see if she ever made a decision about going out.

Posted by: serenity at December 06, 2003 07:50 AM (GChd/)

3 Great News!

Posted by: Paul at December 06, 2003 10:18 AM (LGEPm)

4 Yay! (The traditional Munuvian accolade)

Posted by: Susie at December 06, 2003 10:22 AM (0+cMc)

5 Mmmmm, happy button....
And I'm really glad she's doing well.

Posted by: LeeAnn at December 06, 2003 09:31 PM (HxCeX)

6 What everyone else said

Posted by: Pixy Misa at December 07, 2003 03:57 AM (jtW2s)

7 speedy recovery

Posted by: jim at December 07, 2003 01:43 PM (lN8eP)

Hide Comments | Add Comment

Ok, if youÂ’ve read the first few of these, then you know what its all about. This is the personal stuff, the things I need to vent about or get off my chest or even just reminisce about in an attempt to de-stress myself. ItÂ’s inside the extended entry, read it or not, itÂ’s up to you. more...

Posted by: Ted at 07:51 AM | category: Seriously
Comments (9) | Add Comment
Post contains 2033 words, total size 11 kb.

1 Nice story.
Good luck on the operation.

Posted by: Starhawk at December 05, 2003 08:24 AM (pAghI)

2 Now that's a wedding!

Best wishes for Liz.

Posted by: Pixy Misa at December 05, 2003 10:58 AM (jtW2s)

3 Charming story. Good luck with the operation, and have faith.

Posted by: Camilo at December 05, 2003 11:16 AM (c+J6+)

4 great story, it did make me laugh.

..saying a prayer for you and the Mrs.

Posted by: jim at December 05, 2003 11:44 AM (RCjGK)

5 *swoon* I love that story!

All my love to you and Liz during this difficult operation and recovery! I will be thinking about both of you, and this story, for a long time to come.

Posted by: Dawn at December 05, 2003 07:10 PM (0zfIx)

6 I'm thinking about you and your family. I hope all goes well.

Posted by: Mr. Green at December 05, 2003 08:15 PM (IXXAV)

7 You and yours are in my thoughts and prayers.

Posted by: Tink at December 05, 2003 09:39 PM (Pp0b1)

8 I've been praying for your wifes successful surgery and recovery for weeks now--now I'm just cranking it into overdrive... PLEASE let us know how things go, dear!

G-d bless you and your family, and may your wife come through with flying colors...

--TwoDragons

Posted by: Denita TwoDragons at December 05, 2003 09:54 PM (DhGyZ)

9 I didn't read this post. I went straight for the coments.
You and the girls are awesome!
Everything'll work out 'cause we said so and we mean it.

Posted by: Tuning Spork at December 05, 2003 11:43 PM (jdUSj)

Hide Comments | Add Comment