September 08, 2003
My blog-friends, you've all become very special to me in a very short time, and the only way I could feel more affection for you would be if you provided sexual favors and/or cash (to be negotiated separately from each of you).
On the family front, I heard from both kids who have already fled the nest, had a very good dinner waiting for me tonight, and after my favorite cake (spice w/ vanilla frosting, decorated with skulls & crossbones in black icing - I've been told that that's very cool), I was presented with a Sears gift card, DVD's of Animal House and Monty Python's Meaning of Life. Then my wife topped it all off by letting me know that she had made a substantial contribution to Ted's Big Honkin' Rocket Motor Fund. As Mookie would say: Woot!
Posted by: Ted at
09:28 PM | category: Family matters
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Posted by: Ted at
04:21 PM | category: Space Program
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04:08 PM | category: Space Program
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Baked Apple Dumplings
Choose a crisp baking apple, such as pippin or Granny Smith.
2 tablespoons granulated sugar
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/3 cup chopped walnuts
2 cups all-purpose flour
4 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
4 tablespoons shortening
1 cup milk
6 medium baking apples, pared and cored
a little granulated sugar to sprinkle
Directions
1. Preheat oven to 350° F.
2. Mix together sugar, cinnamon and walnuts. Set aside.
3. In a medium bowl, sift together flour, baking powder and salt. Cut in shortening with a pastry cutter, or blend rapidly with fingertips until dough resembles oatmeal.
4. Stir in milk. Mix to a smooth dough.
5. Turn dough onto floured board. Divide into 6 equal portions. Roll each portion until large enough to wrap around one apple. Make sure itÂ’s not too thick. Dust lightly with plain sugar.
6. Place each apple in center of individual dough, but do not wrap. Sprinkle reserved sugar mixture into the core of each apple.
7. Bring dough over each apple. Wet edges of dough to seal.
8. Place on lightly greased baking sheet. Bake in 350° F. oven until apples are tender and the dough is crispy, about 1/2 hour.
Serve plain, or with a scoop of vanilla ice cream on the side. You can also drizzle caramel syrup over it all or with crushed peppermint candy over the ice cream.
Serves: 4 to 6
Posted by: Ted at
10:50 AM | category: Recipes
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Posted by: Ted at
10:08 AM | category: Square Pegs
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Wind Rider over at Silent Running talks about the difference between journalism and 'professional' journalism. Hint: the sarcasm quotes are because he's talking about the BBC.
John gets asked that question that no man can ever answer correctly.
Tiger redecorates and talks about Texas football. Living in the DC metro area, the Redskins play the Cowboys twice a year, and I hate don't care for either team. I used to say that when those teams played each other, I was rooting for a sniper in the stands. Thanks Malvo for ruining a good joke.
Fixing the State Department. Interesting reading by Steven Den Beste over at USS Clueless, who is anything but.
Choices. What matters vs. what should matter. Read all about it and think, courtesy of Winds of Change.
This guy always has something interesting to read.
Men of Iron, Horses of Steel. These guys have become a daily read.
Laughing Wolf gives a concise brief on the Presidents remarks last night.
I don't agree with a lot of what she says, but she's an interesting read, and her school football team is named the Rockets, so she gets a mention.
Robert touches on many subjects and is always a good read. He's about as calm a rant as you can imagine, while still putting it out there for you.
If you're looking for some of these folks over on the right in my links section, they're not all there. If you check under "Poor Organization Skills" you'll see a category called Links Roster, and they're all there, plus many more. The format is still weirded out, because I rode the short bus to html school.
When you hear about Munuviana and Munuvians, do you hear the roar of the surf shooshing up over white sand beaches, while beautiful women in grass skirts and not much else bring you cold beer and cater to your every whim? Welcome to reality. Susie, Jennifer, Cherry and LeeAnn are liberated women, so we can go get our own damn beer, I'm sure. And Mookie is underage, so don't go there. I also have no desire to see the guys in grass skirts, although I'm sure Collins would enjoy it, as long as he got to wear panty hose like his hero.
Tuning Spork (a Munuvian) has written a great piece of satire (oops, now he's written two!). Funny stuff.
Ever heard of Burning Man? Coyote went. See his pictures, then google on it to learn more. Thanks to Annika for the pointer.
He's been described as an "eclectic cultural cuisinart", and the flea is where I go for something extraordinary. Enjoy.
Over at The Meatriarchy, "A" comes out squarely for the Instapundit camp.
Posted by: Ted at
01:17 AM | category: Links
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September 07, 2003
Posted by: Ted at
11:10 PM | category: Countdown to 9/11
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Visit her place and tell her 'happy birthday'.
Posted by: Ted at
10:30 PM | category: Munuvian Daily Tattler
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This will also be Jerry Porter's breakout season. You can't ignore Rice and Brown, and this will be Porter's year to shine.
Yo Glenn, do you agree? For all you sports fans, you should be checking out Sports Blog if you don't already.
PS. During the singing of the National Anthem at the Oakland Raiders game, they had a bald eagle flying around the field. I saw a special about this particular bird. They found him as a youngster, and he's been trained to fly from one handler way up in the stands to another handler on the field. He's a showoff too, doing long lazy soaring circles as he flys and really getting the crowd pumped up. It's a beautiful thing to see.
Posted by: Ted at
08:49 PM | category: Square Pegs
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The flight was fully successful, but upon splashdown the capsule hatch prematurely opened and the capsule sank into the sea.*
The Liberty Bell 7 was finally found and recovered in 1999. The Discovery Channel did several shows on it, and it has been touring the country. It is scheduled to be reutrned 'home' and back on display at the Kansas Cosmosphere before the end of the year.
* Forget that crap from The Right Stuff, Gus Grissom was fully exonerated later by NASA after tests proved his claim that the hatch could indeed 'just blew'. (yeah, I know the quote doesn't quite fit right... deal)
Posted by: Ted at
10:59 AM | category: Space Program
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She says, "What's the story?"
He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor."
She asks, "How often do I have to do that ?
Posted by: Ted at
08:04 AM | category: Square Pegs
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September 06, 2003
Posted by: Ted at
11:53 PM | category: Countdown to 9/11
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I just spent a few hours alone out in the backyard. I built a fire and just sat there our swing, thinking and watching the flames.
The last time I had done that was with my best friend Paul. WeÂ’re closer than brothers; he was best man at my wedding, and weÂ’re godfather to each otherÂ’s sons. And yet as alike as we are, weÂ’ve led two totally different lives. I got married and settled down, while he just kept running full speed at life. WeÂ’ve talked about it, and weÂ’re both a little jealous of the other sometimes. Paul has seen the Taj Mahal, and slept under the Eiffel Tower, and spent time living in the Ukraine and the Philippines. His first wife was killed in an auto accident, and I was the first person he called. His son, my godson, was killed in another car wreck. He found out by being paged at an airport in Japan as he was making a connecting flight.
Despite it all, heÂ’s still happy. HeÂ’s satisfied with his life, even after all the pain heÂ’s endured. He has a wonderful wife and daughter, who calls me Uncle Ted. I love them all, and there isnÂ’t anything I wouldnÂ’t do for him.
Part of the reason I went out and built a fire was because after reading this idiot, I needed to calm down and regain my composure. To Stump, all I can say is that you are an asshole with no tolerance for anyone who doesnÂ’t act and believe exactly like yourself. You think that the value of life is measured by how long it lasts, and IÂ’m telling you that you are so very wrong. Even after reading that vile piece of hateful garbage you wrote, I hope that you live a long life anyway, since that is apparently all you treasure. If there is one thing that Paul has taught me, itÂ’s that life is too short and too uncertain to hold grudges, especially against a fool like yourself.
Posted by: Ted at
10:05 PM | category: Boring Stories
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“Excuse me?” I said.
“That’s how Jean Luc Picard would order it,” the little yuppie thing gushed.
{pause}
“Oh,” and I turned back to the counter to pay for my tea.
In that {pause} I’d considered and rejected many responses, including the devastating ‘who?’, which would have gone right over her head, and worse, would have invited her to explain who Jean Luc Picard is. I didn’t think I could've handled it right then, especially carrying a piping hot cup of shut-the-hell-up that I just paid for.
With the wisdom of whatever race is wisest in the universe of Captain Kirk meets Jason and Freddie, she let it go, probably feeling pity for one misguided soul who didnÂ’t share her obvious passion for The Next Generation.
I’ve watched every episode of the original Star Trek, and love them all. Hell, for a while there it was like M*A*S*H; on so many channels that you could usually decide which episode to watch at that moment. I also have a guilty secret – I love reading the Star Trek paperbacks. Sometimes it’s just comforting to pick up a book and not have to work too hard at reading it, because you know what each character is going to do in any given situation.
IÂ’ve seen at least a few episodes of every variation of Star Trek since then, and none ever held my interest like the original series did. Deep Space Nine had promise, but didnÂ’t pan out. I had high hopes for Voyager, but after an episode where they come across an entire planet of supreme hedonists, instead of getting naked and giving her all to save her crew, Captain Janeway feeds their leader pecan pie and turns him down. Pecan freakinÂ’ pie!!! CÂ’mon.
And that points up the reason why no one will ever be as cool as Captain Kirk. He taught an impressionable generation of young men that you can accomplish anything in this universe if you are smart, brave, and horny.
He wasnÂ’t tall. He wasnÂ’t built like Atlas. He wasnÂ’t even that great at following orders. But he solved any situation with his head, with his heart, and with the occasional full spread of photon torpedoes. And he proved that there was plenty of galaxy-class tail out there, just waiting for a human who was smart, brave, and horny.
Look at the main protagonist of The Next Generation: Q. Huh? Ooooo, in one episode he shows up and ruins a wedding between his mother and some other guy. Again, huh? What kind of stupidity is that? When Kirk had to take Spock back to his planet for a wedding, it was because Spock had to get laid or die. How cool is that?
Jean Luc Picard is Colin Powell. He wants to talk everything over. He needs his ‘councilor’ to tell him how he feels. Kirk is the 82nd Airborne Division. He drops on you like a ton of bricks, kicks your ass with massive firepower, and you can bet that none of your women are safe when he’s around.
I still drink Earl Grey tea. Been drinking it for years. I like to think that somewhere, somehow, Gene Roddenberry was standing in line behind me when I ordered a cup. He took my simple preference and added that genius that was his and came up with “Tea, Earl Grey, Hot.” Then he completely ruined it by giving the line to that patina-pated uber-wussy Picard.
I drank it first, dammit.
Posted by: Ted at
10:44 AM | category: Boring Stories
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September 05, 2003
Posted by: Ted at
11:38 PM | category: Countdown to 9/11
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Posted by: Ted at
10:43 PM | category: Links
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Bill of Bloviating Inanities just recently had a birthday, so I thought IÂ’d borrow JenÂ’s concept and do the same thing for him. Instead of a walker or Grecian Formula for Men or Geritol, I present to you, my friend:
Born in the mists of antiquity, no one is really sure exactly when he arrived. Probably sometime after the Big Bang, since Bill has a strange fascination with Stephen Hawking.
(By the way, the authorities have asked that you do not contact Professor Hawking with questions from or about Bill. Something about a restraining order.)
There is a persistant rumor that he was found and raised by a circus family, but they vehemently deny it (donÂ’t bother asking either; another restraining order).
This is believed to be the earliest home movie with little Billy in them.
There are no existing pictures of Bill actually attending school, which lends credence to the claim that heÂ’s unteachable. An extensive check of school records turns up no direct references, but anecdotal evidence doesnÂ’t rule out his attendance either.
Once past school age, Bill met the lady of his dreams, and after weeks of begging sweeping her off of her feet, she agreed to go out on a date with him. The rest, as they say, was magic.
But the good times soon passed. Unlike this Bill, our Bill has done nothing of note beyond being mentioned in numerous police blotters. But it wasnÂ’t for lack of effort!
He's tried his hand at various artistic pursuits, including writing, sculpture, architecture, and even fashion design. To be honest, the world just doesnÂ’t get Bill.
Still, he toils on, misunderstood and defiantly disgusting. Part of his charm problem seems to be that he suffers an abnormal number of odd medical problems (too many to link, just go through his archives).
It's not that easy bein' green.
- - Kermit the Frog, referring to BillÂ’s gouty toe
HereÂ’s what Bill has to say about himself:
“People hate me because I am a multifaceted, talented, wealthy, internationally famous genius.”
Oh wait. That was Jerry Lewis. Sorry, I get them confused.
Posted by: Ted at
12:21 PM | category: Square Pegs
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LeeAnn, when you blogroll moi, you'll need a new category. I suggest 'mouldy bleu'.
And since I mentioned it, the Link Roster is in serious disarray. I'm working on it, ok?
Also on the right, there is a new tagline up, and whattayaknow? Another new category called (ta-dahhhh) 'Tagline Archive'. Boy howdy, things are getting so much easier as I get away from Blog*spot and Geocities.
I'm still slowly but surely moving most of my archived stuff over to Mu.Nu. Emphasis on the 'slowly'.
All the cool people have birthdays in September. You don't? Well, we know why.
Posted by: Ted at
09:59 AM | category: Square Pegs
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Carl Vinson (CVN70)
The Carl Vinson is an aircraft carrier. The man Carl Vinson's service in the House of Representatives exceeds that of anyone elected to the Congress of the United States since it first convened in 1798. During his unparalleled tenure of fifty plus years, he also completed a record breaking twenty-nine years as Chairman of the House Naval Affairs and Armed Services Committee. In that position, Congressman Vinson forged and moved through Congress the landmark Vinson-Trammel Act which provided authority for the eventual construction of ninety-two major warships, the birth of the two ocean Navy. From Capitol Hill, he also guided the establishment of a separate air academy and the launching of the Navy's first nuclear powered submarine.
Arleigh Burke (DDG51)
The Burke class of guided missile AEGIS destroyers are the first U.S. Navy ships designed to incorporate stealth technology. They are named for Arleigh Albert Burke, the grandson of a Swedish immigrant, who was born on a farm in Colorado on 19 October 1901. Deciding early that farming fitted neither his talents nor desires, he sought and received a congressional appointment to the US Naval Academy. He entered the Naval Academy in June 1919 and graduated on 7 June 1923. His first assignment was aboard the USS Arizona, after which he held many posts and commands, becoming a specialist in destroyer tactics. He continued to rise through the ranks until appointed Chief of Naval Operations on 17 August 1955, a post he held until 25 July 1961, when he retired. He remains the longest serving Chief of Naval Operations in the history of the U.S. Navy.
Hyman G. Rickover (SSN709)
I've already covered him here.
Ronald Reagan (CVN76)
Fortieth President of the United States. Slayer of Soviet Unions and chopper of wood. Advocate of a strong military and strong America.
Bob Hope (T-AKR300)
This is a “Roll on – Roll off” cargo supply ship, where shipping containers are loaded via truck instead of by cranes. Named for the famous comedian who made countless morale-raising visits to American military personnel.
Jimmy Carter (SSN23)
Thirty-ninth President of the United States. Served as an officer in the US Navy for seven years, including tours of submarine duty. This submarine is still under construction.
Posted by: Ted at
08:12 AM | category: Military
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"I think I mentioned to Bob I could make love for eight hours. What I didn't say was that this included four hours of begging and then dinner and a movie."
And you ladies claim we don't spend enough time on foreplay.
Posted by: Ted at
07:26 AM | category: Square Pegs
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