March 31, 2006
Disclaimer: It's a sad but true fact that in today's world it must be explicitely stated that it's a joke. *sigh*
How ironic that the argument goes that illegal immigrants are just here doing the jobs Americans don't want to do when the one job the government seem to be trying hard to avoid doing is dealing with illegal immigration.
For that matter, why doesn't anyone else see the simple beauty here?
Me: So you snuck into the bar to drink even though you were under the legal age.
Me: And an older gentleman bought drinks from the bar and gave them to you all night long, so that nobody would find out that you were underage.
Me: And you were... let's see... almost three times over the legal limit for operating a motor vehicle when you left the bar.
Me: And in the parking lot, you climbed up onto a pickup truck's tailgate, at which point you passed out and fell face first to the pavement. The impact shattered your teeth, lips and gums.
Plaintiff's lawyer: YOUR HONOR, I OBJECT!!! He's going to call my client "stupid".
Me: Your honor, "stupid" is a given. However, "graceful" isn't.
March 30, 2006
First of all, I have a problem with the headline:
When you read the story, you find out that the Dominatrix rented the property from the church and she claims she held a long-term lease with an option to buy. Once the church found out what her business was, then they wanted to evict her.
She decided not to fight the church in court. They didn't "oust" her, because I suspect that they didn't have a legal leg to stand on.
A couple of questions come to mind. First, is being a Dominatrix illegal in South Africa? It doesn't appear to be, judging from the story. She had even given a tour of her "torture chamber" to reporters. Notice also that she didn't have sex with her clients and it wasn't a brothel. You were paying to be dominated by a woman, you weren't paying for sex.
Was there a "morals" clause in her lease? You know what I mean, something that states that the tenant will only behave in ways acceptable to the church. I don't know if that's enforcable, especially if said actions aren't illegal.
Finally, are any of the church congregation clients? Just curious. It would be professional suicide for her to mention names, because confidentiality would be crucial in her line of work. I wonder if any of the church members are heaving huge sighs of relief that this is all going away (semi) quietly.
Whip me, beat me, make me evict you. *snicker*
Personally, I think she was in the right, but decided that the fight just wasn't worth it. That's a shame. I'm all for tweaking the nose of authority whenever possible.
Me: You never realized that piping music directly into your ear at high volume could damage your hearing?
Me: Wow. You're stupid.
March 28, 2006
The European Commission is to propose legislation aimed at slashing "unproportional" charges on international mobile phone calls within the European Union (EU).
EU commissioner for information society and media Viviane Reding said the executive European Commission has to propose an EU regulation after mobile telecom operators failed to respond to her calls for lower costs six months ago.
"I have warned the industry repeatedly that price must be brought down, but it seems the industry has had trouble understanding my message," Reding told a press conference on Tuesday.
Got that? She asked telecom businesses to lower their prices, and they had the gall to ignore her. So her solution is to ram through a binding "regulation" that will force the companies to limit their rates. Never mind what charges the market will bear, you've got to provide another entitlement to all those unemployed youngsters I guess.
I love this part:
"There is no way that these prices are justified," said Reding. "The regulation would ensure that operators do not charge substantially more than the actual cost."
The wholesale savings of operators would then be made to pass on to consumers, she said.
Yep. Don't allow the Telecoms to make a profit, then pass the "savings" on to the people!
She dismissed fears that EU-level intervention would push operators to make up their lost revenue in the domestic market.
Of course she did. Cause and effect doesn't apply to fantasyland. Just ask the California electricity industry.
March 26, 2006
- Bela Lugosi only appeared in one other film as Dracula, in 1948's Abbot and Costello Meet Frankenstein.
- Although Lugosi played Dracula during a successful Broadway run and subsequent tours, he wasn't the first choice for the film role. He wasn't the second, third or fourth choice either.
- There were three versions of Dracula made at the same time. During the day the English version was filmed. At night a Spanish language version was filmed on the same sets with an entirely different cast and crew. And lastly, because at the time many theaters weren't wired for sound, a silent version of the film was simultaneously edited with dialogue boards.
- Not once during the film does Dracula display fangs.
- The word Nosferatu is widely considered to be Hungarian for "vampire" because Bram Stoker used the word after reading about it in a book on folklore and the occult. Problem is, no such word exists.
- The studio insisted that Dracula only attack women in the movie because they were worried about homoerotic overtones. Dracula's first movie victim is male, but you don't see it.
- The actor who plays Dr. Seward (Herbert Bunston), had met Bram Stoker earlier in his career when he appeared in a stage production at the theater that Stoker managed.
- Actor Dwight Frye (Renfield) and Bela Lugosi had worked together before, on Broadway in a comedy production.
That's kind of an extreme example, but recently I had a mini version of that emotion over a movie (surprise, surprise), and of course I'm going to tell you all about it.
Now this category isn't called "Cult Flicks" for nothing, and if you've visited before you already know that I love B-movies and old horror and things a little (or a lot) off of the beaten path. This film certainly falls into the last category. Before I tell you about it though, I'd like to take a moment to give a little background on a type of these crappy movies that I love so much.
Exploitation films are movies designed to appeal to those looking for things like nudity and/or gore. Back in the 30's and 40's, nudist camp "documentaries" filled the bill, as did "danger of drugs" movies. In the 50's Swedish "blue" movies found their niche. Some makers soon realized that actual product quality was optional as long as plenty of bare breasts or simulated gruesome violence was on display, so true exploitation flicks are always low budget and almost always feature rotten acting, directing, dialogue, etc. Go through the Rocket Jones Cult Flicks archives, and you'll find other reviews of just these types of films. Yes, I am a fan.
Within the exploitation umbrella, there are subgenres. Sexploitation movies focused on nudity and softcore porn - Russ Meyer was one leading director - and so-called Blaxploitation movies aimed at the African American audience (Abby, aka "the black Exorcist" is a fine example, although films like Shaft and Foxy Brown are much better known). There were gory cannibal movies and mondo "documentaries" that went for shock valuie by being about taboo subjects (like Toys Are Not For Children which explored psychotic incestual themes). Women in prison movies were popular, and included the sub-subgenre of Nazi women prison movies. I've got my eye on a couple of Hixsploitation collections, just to round out my library of crappy films. That wikipedia link above is a nice little introduction to the concept.
So by now you've gathered that School of the Holy Beast is an exploitation film, and it's of a type I'd heard of but never seen before: nunsploitation. Actually, that was only one reason why I couldn't resist it, the other being that I never knew that any nunsploitation flicks were made anywhere but Europe. This unusual movie was made in Japan! Nunsploitation movies are generally set in a convent with plenty of nudity, sex, and frequent appearances by sleazy priests because apparently, unbeknownst to me, every nun is not a lesbian (kidding!). This type of movie is also critical of the Catholic Church and it's policies.
So what do we have here? The movie starts off with a girl named Maya having one helluva great day. She enjoys a hockey game, does some shopping, picks up a guy and later sleeps with him. When he finally asks her name (pillow talk!), she tells him that tomorrow she enters the abbey to become a nun.
Maya isn't particularly devout, instead she's on a private mission to discover how her mother died in that same convent eighteen years before. Along the way she manages to unravel a long-held secret and finds her answers. She also sneaks a couple of guys into the convent to gang rape the Mother Superior (who doesn't fight very hard once it's begun. I guess falling asleep to her private porn collection might have made her a bit receptive). There are scenes of drugs, self-flagellation, bondage, blasphemy; in other words, everything you'd expect from the Church (kidding!). In the end the bad guys all get what's coming to them, and you're left sitting there thinking "wow".
Unlike the typical trashy exploitation movie, this film is beautifully acted and full of spectacular imagery. One memorable scene involves Maya being punished by being whipped with bunches of long stem roses. The thorns draw blood of course, and before long each punishing stroke results in a cascade of slow motion rose petals in a halo around Maya. Uncomfortable to watch, but undeniably beautiful.
This movie far exceeded my expectations, and it's worth seeing. In Japanese with English subtitles.
Besides, how can you resist two topless nuns involved in a whip fight?
March 24, 2006
If you don't know what the Jamboree is all about, click this link.
Thanks to the Jawa Report for the pointer.
March 23, 2006
The guys down at Whitakers, North Carolina lost their flying field. It's not actually lost, it's just been turned into a corn field without prior notice.
March 19, 2006
Painting a roll pattern on your jeep, not so much.
March 18, 2006
Happy 50th Birthday to the B52 Stratofortress. One seriously bad mofo.
Thanks to Transterrestrial Musings for the pointer.
He's off to a great start, including a post about how the BATFE is reacting to their recent smackdown by the Federal courts regarding rocket motors. Short answer: they are not taking it well, and it seems that the retaliation against the hobby has started. Read more over at Doug's blog, and, like most of us, he wanders off onto other topics as the fancy takes him. Check it out.
March 17, 2006
What they envision:
Dude, you mean I can get ready for the Summer beach trips *and* save big bucks doing it? I am so there!
Reality: posts like this.
Oh yeah, just like that.
And size does matter, so you higher traffic blogs should be joining in with a mention and links as well.
Treat the lady right.
March 16, 2006
The post titiled The Rules of Life for Australian (Heterosexual) Men had me laughing out loud. Here's a sample:
11. It is permissible to quaff a fruity alcopop drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless supermodel and it's free.
26. The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend" have carnal drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason not to nail her again before the discussion about what a big mistake it was.
There's plenty more. Head on over, have a chuckle and don't forget to say hello.
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