November 30, 2004

A handful of ass

Unfortunately, it's mine. It was handed to me by Brendoman who scored big in this week's Blogger Bowl and stomped my respectable score like a steamroller over a grape. Still, if Jamal Lewis hadn't been a last minute scratch and woulda rushed for 485 yards and scored 12 touchdowns, I coulda beat him.

Now next week I face Victor's Rats of Chaos. He's tied for first place and on a serious roll. I have two things going for me. First off, the Rocket Jones Hot Jets cheerleaders, which I'll list in a minute. And secondly, I got an interesting email last weekend with a link I found very intriguing.

This might be enough to topple the Rats of Chaos. While victory ultimately comes on the playing field, the morale-destroying effect of this kind of information cannot be ignored.

They're cute! They're cuddly! They're not naked! (see how silly that looks as a selling point ladies?) They *are* the Hot Jets!
annika, of annika's journal!
Denita, of Who Tends The Fires!
Gir, of Your Moosey Fate!
LeeAnn, of The Cheese Stands Alone!
Sarah, of Trying To Grok!
Kat, of Mostly Fluff!
Big Hair, of Left & Right!
Jennifer, of Jennifer's History and Stuff!
Heather, of Angelweave!
Margi, of Margi Lowry!
Nic, of Shoes, Ships, and Sealing Wax!
Lemur Girl, of... uh, Lemur Girl!
Lynn S., of Reflections in d minor!
Susie, of Practical Penumbra!
Blogoline, of Blogoline's Journal!
Cindy, of Dusting My Brain!
Wegglywoo, of On the Beach at the End of the World!
Dawn of Dawn Enterprises!
Stevie, of Caught In The XFire!
Helen, of Everyday Stranger!
Mookie, of MookieRiffic!
Tink, of Flitting Here and There!

Posted by: Ted at 11:18 AM | category: Links
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Wave of the future?

Check out this short transcript of a radio spot heard by the Everlasting Phelps. Pretty darn funny.

Posted by: Ted at 09:00 AM | category: Links
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Underground

From Rachel Lucas:

Suffice to say some Michael Moore fans hate me more than I hate Michael Moore. Which is kind of flattering but also really scary. John has been telling me for years to stop blogging under my real name, and you know what? I think it's time. I want to blog but I haven't felt free to truly express myself in a long, long time because of the hate mail and creepy folk who know how to do people searches. I don't live in a swanky apartment building with a doorman and security like Michael Moore does, that fat pig of a loathesome scumbag.

So I'm going to go anonymous, with a new blog. How will you, my loyal readers, know that it's me? I don't know. I'm sorry. But I'm guessing, and I know it's a correct guess, that 99% of you understand completely and will support this change wholeheartedly because you probably don't want my doorbell to be rung by some psycho hippie who thinks Fahrenheit 9/11 is the greatest truth ever told.

I still get the occasional comment dripping with venom over a *joke* post I made long ago about Michael Moore, so I have a teeny tiny taste of what this kind and wonderful and funny lady is going through. Go anonymous Rachel, s'ok and you're right. We understand. But I'm still gonna look for you and find you. In a non-threatening, non-stalkerish kinda way of course.

And when I do, I'm gonna read ya.

Posted by: Ted at 06:08 AM | category: Square Pegs
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Because there's no such thing as too many rocket pictures

Now this guy is a rocketeer. Notice on his rocket picture page, the banner at the top that says "Rocket Chronicles". Most importantly, note that the well-dressed gentleman in said banner in no way looks like a terrorist (got that BATFE?). Also, he brought along his wife, who carries a big purse full of that little paper you trade for rocket supplies.

Cool pictures Mr. Ritchie, you'll be on the blogroll next time I venture into it.

Posted by: Ted at 05:13 AM | category: Links
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November 29, 2004

It's obvious, really

Q: How many real men does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None. Real men aren't afraid of the dark.

Posted by: Ted at 07:14 PM | category: Square Pegs
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Canada, California, one of those "C" places

Thanks to VegasBaby for this chuckle.

CanadaSignSharpEdges.jpg

Posted by: Ted at 06:54 PM | category: Links
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Rocket Women

Even the most steely-eyed missile man has a lady in his life. One who keeps his feet on the ground while his head is in the clouds. I'll use the term "wife" here, but it applies equally well to moms, girlfriends, "just friends", and "other".

Wives fall into categories.

"Saintly" are the ones who build and fly their own rockets. Very rare and wonderful, if you have one you should treasure her. The biggest drawback is when you sneak over to the on-site vendor to pick up that big honkin' motor, she's already in line with *her* motor, and you know you can't afford both. Que sera, you settle for a slightly smaller whoosh generator, and vow to be quicker than her at the next launch. Dishes seldom pile up in the kitchen sink with her around because that's where she does her wet sanding.

Next in the hierarchy are the "Angelic" ladies. These are the ones who go to launches and enjoy flying your rockets, even if she doesn't want to build her own. You often wind up painting a few her favorite color (even pink) as a thank you for being so understanding. She might fuss a little bit about buying that gallon of epoxy instead of milk, but she understands and will explain it to the kids. And their shoes will last another month with a little duct tape.

"Very Cool" wives are next, and the first of the mortals. This perfectly describes my own wife. She doesn't build, doesn't fly, and could care less (mine's never even been to a launch), but she indulges you without complaint because she loves you. Easiest to identify around the holidays when she asks you for a list of rocket-related gifts you might like. Also known to call you from the rocket-aisle of a craft store to let you know that motors and/or kits are on sale and wants to know what she can get for you. And how many.

The "Ambivalent" wife doesn't fuss much, but doesn't take much interest either. As long as your rocketry doesn't interfere with home-life and doesn't become an obstacle to one of the kids' activities, she's pretty much ok with it. You are expected to miss the rocket launch this weekend because she volunteered you to mow the lawn at the church. Buck up and count your blessings, it could be worse.

"Equivalent" wife *is* worse. She believes that you can spend any amount you want to on rockets, as long as she gets at least that much money to spend on her activities in return. Of course, in "equivalent" math, one dollar for you equals at least five for her. On the plus side, you get a lot of fiberglassing done while she's out on Bingo nights, and she's graciously alloted you one knick-knack shelf in the den for your stupid toys.

The bottom of the scale is "Ex" or "Soon-to-be-Ex" wife. At best, she didn't intentionally bust up your rocket stuff when she left (and although she didn't give a shit about rockets, you can bet she'll zero in on the most expensive and hard to replace stuff you own), and your reputation will survive with minimal lasting damage. With luck, her bad-mouthing you will taper off over time, but face it, every mutual friend you have is going to look at you funny from now on.

Posted by: Ted at 06:36 PM | category: Rocketry
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The force is strong in this one

I'm talking about the urge to hibernate. I can't remember a year when the onset of winter has had such an effect on me. For the last month my appetite has been mucho grande and all I want to do is sleep sleep sleep. Very unlike me (the sleep part, that is).

If I call my wife "little Boo-Boo" one more time, I think she's going to hit me.

Posted by: Ted at 05:13 AM | category: Square Pegs
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November 28, 2004

Two recipes at the top of my "to try" list

I'll probably make each of these within the next couple of weeks. Reportage to come.

First up, from Denita of Who Tends the Fires, this Cranberries with Orange and Ginger thingie sounds yummy. The kids and I have a serious jones for cranberry sauce. We eat it all year round.

Secondly, this combination of peanut butter and oatmeal cookies baked into a pie, courtesy of Triticale. Mmmmmm, pie.

Posted by: Ted at 09:03 AM | category: Recipes
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Lon Chaney

Introduction
While cruising the net, I ran across this image, which brought back memories:

classic.gif

[The stamps issued consist of] five portraits of the actors based on publicity photographs of their most famous horror films. Lon Chaney appears as the Phantom of the Opera, Bela Lugosi as Dracula, Boris Karloff as Frankenstein and the Mummy and Lon Chaney Jr. as Wolf Man.

The descendants had wanted stamps that carried two portraits of their famous relatives, one with monster makeup and one without. Designer Derry Noyes of Washington met their wishes by placing signed photographs of the four actors at the top of the sheets of 20 stamps.

The stamps are the second to contain hidden images, using a process developed by Graphic Security Systems Corp. of Lake Worth, Fla. This time designers have scrambled an image -- not letters -- into each of the stamps: bats on the Dracula stamp, hieroglyphics on the Mummy, masks on the Phantom, wolves on the Wolf Man and lightning bolts on Frankenstein.

To see the images requires purchase of a $4.95 "decoder lens" from the Postal Service.

With that as inspiration, here's the second in a series of brief bios based on those classic stamps.

(in the extended entry) more...

Posted by: Ted at 07:07 AM | category: Cult Flicks
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November 27, 2004

Buying a telescope?

Here's some handy tips on buying one from Space.com.

They make some excellent suggestions. Our family has one, and I did some research after-the-fact (Google is your friend) and discovered that the one we bought isn't very good. The optics are actually rather good, but the overall quality makes it difficult to take full advantage of them. We've had fun with it anyway.

They do make a great suggestion though:

A good pair of binoculars makes a very good instrument for the beginning amateur sky watcher.

Other useful things for that astonomer on your gift list are star charts and books on general astronomy. Check out Amazon or any good book store. Something as simple as a notebook, sketchpad or red-filtered mini-flashlight are invaluable too. How about a thermos for coffee or hot chocolate? It gets chilly out there.

I've also pointed out simulation software, which is perfect for those too-frequent cloudy nights. If you've never tried it, you really should. The images presented by even "toy" telescopes can take your breath away, and it's a fun and educational way to spend a family evening together.

Posted by: Ted at 05:36 PM | category: SciTech
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November 26, 2004

New Peeps

Smoking Toaster has me on their blogroll, along with some other familiar places. I'm honored to be included in such august company. He's funny in an evil grin kinda way, and I felt an immediate kinship when I read about his battles with cute fuzzy widdle squirrels hydroencephalic tree vermin. Go check him out, it's good stuff and a nice change after all that turkey.

In the not-even-close-to-safe-for-work department, we've got:

Kimochi-ii is a regular stop of mine, because I like to look at oriental ladies in various stages of undress (although I'll never understand the Japanese fascination for girls in "schoolgirl" uniforms). Well, the guy who runs the place has started a new blog called Erotic Zipai. The name refers to a Chinese word that means a picture of yourself, taken by yourself. In other words, a self-portrait, but it's specific to cameras. In other words (again), it's oriental ladies in various stages of undress, as photographed by their own exhibitionistic hand (and bless every last one of 'em).

I love the internet.

Posted by: Ted at 07:05 PM | category: Links
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Bulletproof diaphranous lingerie

Scientists in Isreal have created artificial spiderweb. Imagine anything (and everything) that contains thread or fiber, and note the improvement gained by using threads stronger than nylon or steel.

In a related (sorta) note, I once read a science fiction book where giant spiders were bred and used for construction purposes, spinning web the size of bridge cables. The very idea of riding a dump-truck sized arachnid like a mahout gave me nightmares for weeks.

Posted by: Ted at 12:12 PM | category: SciTech
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She Builds Seashells Down by the Seashore

Via Transterrestrial Musings:

Dr. Belcher has studied the biology of abalones and how the mollusks are able to assemble an extremely hard shell from calcium carbonate and other minerals in an ocean filled with various microbes and contaminants. The result: she and her colleagues have developed proteins that can bind to about 30 different electronic, magnetic, and optical materials, and then assemble the materials into protein structures.

In other words, a very real potential for computer chips and components assembled from materials other than silicon.

One of the most promising aspects of Dr. Belcher's discovery is that the process takes place in seawater - not the billion-dollar fabrication plants and hygienic rooms required for silicon manufacturing.

Every day we're a little bit closer to our giant fighting robot masters.

Posted by: Ted at 12:05 PM | category: SciTech
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Estrogen-laden Chaos

Women's Roller Derby is making a comeback.

Nobody's quitting their day jobs yet, but the night belongs to ladies who go by names like Syble Disobedience, Baby Ruthless and Ginger Snap. Women who leave their professional personnas at home when they lace up the skates and do battle on the banked oval.

There were at least two recent attempts to revive Roller Derby, both resulting in WWF-type extravaganza's - long on style, way short on substance. Personally, I loved old-time Roller Derby (Go Bay Bombers!), and hope these ladies can grow this into something wonderful again.

Posted by: Ted at 05:17 AM | category: Links
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November 25, 2004

Bela Lugosi

Introduction
While cruising the net, I ran across this image, which brought back memories:

classic.gif

[The stamps issued consist of] five portraits of the actors based on publicity photographs of their most famous horror films. Lon Chaney appears as the Phantom of the Opera, Bela Lugosi as Dracula, Boris Karloff as Frankenstein and the Mummy and Lon Chaney Jr. as Wolf Man.

The descendants had wanted stamps that carried two portraits of their famous relatives, one with monster makeup and one without. Designer Derry Noyes of Washington met their wishes by placing signed photographs of the four actors at the top of the sheets of 20 stamps.

The stamps are the second to contain hidden images, using a process developed by Graphic Security Systems Corp. of Lake Worth, Fla. This time designers have scrambled an image -- not letters -- into each of the stamps: bats on the Dracula stamp, hieroglyphics on the Mummy, masks on the Phantom, wolves on the Wolf Man and lightning bolts on Frankenstein.

To see the images requires purchase of a $4.95 "decoder lens" from the Postal Service.

With that as inspiration, here's the first in a series of brief bios based on those classic stamps.

(in the extended entry) more...

Posted by: Ted at 09:12 AM | category: Cult Flicks
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November 24, 2004

Hockey Whoopass Jamboree

Better late than never.

Matt's Houston Aero's defeated my Cleveland Barons, so in accordance with the rules, his team's logo will be prominently displayed for 24 hours.

houston.gif

Not a problem, it's a pretty cool logo ('cept for the colors).

Posted by: Ted at 09:00 PM | category: Links
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Second helping

From last Thanksgiving.

Who Gets the Wishbone?

There's nothing better than the whole family getting together for Thanksgiving.

sesame4.jpg

Posted by: Ted at 12:42 PM | category: Square Pegs
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One pair of Rocket-powered Roller Skates please

The legendary ACME catalog, in all its inspired glory.

Thanks to Mark of Auteriffic for the pointer.

Posted by: Ted at 12:17 PM | category: Links
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Dusty Rose

Sounds like a stripper name, doesn't it?

Actually, I'm talking about the color.

Dusty Rose

Kinda nice, eh? Now imagine that same color done in a beautiful metallic finish. Very nice.

BUT NOT FOR A WHOLE FREAKING CAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Too much of that color looks like someone's stomach turned inside out and you're sitting inside the giant bladder, cluelessly rolling down the road. Gahhh.

Posted by: Ted at 06:07 AM | category: Square Pegs
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