Sorry for the tease, there is no video link available.

I am rather proud of that "light sabre through an Ewok" line though, so I suggest pondering that image if you're that disappointed. For raising of spirits, imagine it's Princess Leia weilding that light sabre in her brass bikini.

Posted by: Ted at 05:37 AM | category: Square Pegs
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A paleotologist is challenging the scope of devastation caused by the meteor impact that wiped out the dinosaurs.

To do this, Kozisek took a novel approach for a paleontologist - instead of looking at what died out, she dug through the literature to find out what survived the massive extinction event.

"I made a list of all survivors and picked those with strict survival requirements," said Kozisek. She determined what those survival requirements were by calling on studies of the closest modern analogues -- which wasn't always easy for some species, she pointed out. There was, for instance, a very early primate that crawled out of the Cretaceous alive, but there is really no comparable small primate around today with which to reliably compare, she said.

On the other hand, a good number of tropical honeybees haven't changed a lot in 65 million years and a great deal is known about modern tropical honey bees' tolerances to heat and cold. What's more, amber-preserved specimens of the oldest tropical honey bee, Cretotrigona prisca, are almost indistinguishable from - and are probably the ancestors of - some modern tropical honeybees like Dactylurina, according to other studies cited by Kozisek.

Posted by: Ted at 05:27 AM | category: SciTech
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The US Air Force is bringing a new smart bomb into play in Iraq, and it's the smallest one yet. Designed especially for urban warfare, the emphasis on maximum accuracy and effect with minimal collateral damage (that's mil-speak for civilian casualties) has produced a new bomb that's half the size of the smallest currently available. Another bomb, again reducing the size by half is near readiness as well.

The US doesn't get enough credit for the care it takes to avoid unecessary casualties during warfare.

Thanks to Transterrestrial Musings for the pointer.

Posted by: Ted at 05:19 AM | category: Military
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There's a bumper sticker I've seen that says:

A bad day fishing beats a good day at work every time

That's what happened to me yesterday. I had a wonderful day, despite all kinds of things going absolutely wrong.

The day started off very chilly. When I got up, I discovered that we were inexplicably childless. Rachael had left early (SAT's) and TJ had been called in to work. That meant I had to load the truck up myself. This is doable, but my "system" results in some rather large and heavy containers best handled by two people. So I switched to plan B, which is to empty the containers, load them into the truck, then refill them again with all of my equipment. Not a biggie, just unexpected.

When I got to the field, I was stunned at the number of cars already there. We've really been growing this club for the last few years, and I remember the days when there might be a half dozen cars and ten people launching rockets. When I arrived yesterday, there were probably close to fifty vehicles already there. Amazing and wonderful.

Lots of kids too. There were Cub Scouts and Boy Scouts and a local school Physics club and several Team America student teams working on next year's challenge.

Since I had her repaired and ready to go, I grabbed the Hot Jets and headed for check in. While waiting in line, I was asked to do a shift at the check-in table (safety inspections and pad assignments) and I said "sure". I had just enough time to load the Hot Jets onto a pad before my shift started.

She launched beautifully on an F24-7, but the 7 second delay is just too long. When the ejection charge fired, she was well on her way down and although the nose cone came off, the chute didn't make it out of the tube. She went down behind a small rise and I headed over the see the damage.

Coming up to her, it was obvious that the soft grass had saved her. The rocket had a tiny crumple along the rim where she hit the ground, and it looks like she bounced and deployed the chute then too. Impact deployment of the parachute is hard on your rocket - just a tip from someone who's been there and done that. Not this time though, I got lucky. The chute had been driven into the ground a little ways by the body tube hitting, but all in all she's undamaged and ready to fly again.

Time for my shift as part of the range crew. It was mostly kids and all kinds of fun. The physics students all had identical egglofters and were flying raw egg payloads. The rockets were also a bit underpowered for the windy conditions which made for some, uh, interesting flight profiles. And a few scrambled eggs.

Early on I put my hand down to write something on a flight card and came down on a yellow jacket that had been sitting on the table. He did the famous yellow jacket ninja half-roll maneuver and buried his stinger into the meaty part of my right hand below the pinky. I felt the fire, and it took a shake or two to dislodge him. Mindfull of the little ones around, I didn't let out the string of swear words that were running around inside my head (good thing they couldn't read thought balloons). I contented myself with an "Ouch, that smarts!" and wishing it had been a bee instead so at least I'd have the satisfaction of knowing he'd die from it.

I'm not allergic to bee stings, so other than the painful throbbing in my hand all day, the day went on.

After my shift was over, I took the ground support equipment I needed out to the pads. It was time to launch Watch the Birdie, my hybrid-powered rocket that refused to fly last weekend. After getting everything set up and ready to go, I tried three times to launch, and three times had no joy.

I have a couple of ideas about what the problem might be, and the rocket (the motor half) is set up on a test stand right now. In a little while I'll head out to the backyard and run some tests to see if I can't pinpoint the exact trouble. When ignition failed, I didn't get a clean dump of the nitrous tank, but the entire motor section of the rocket frosted up. That tells me that the nitrous was escaping there somehow, instead of through the vent or back through the fill hose to the dump valve. Yes, it all sounds very complicated, you should be impressed. Especially the ladies.

So that was my day. I didn't fly anything else, preferring to visit with friends and talk rockets. I did visit Performance Hobbies to buy some stuff. Ken had his huge trailer full of rocket goodies there, which doesn't happen often enough, so I try to take advantage when he's there. Unfortunately he was out of stock on almost everything I wanted. I still bought a couple of things anyway (support the people who support you).

My hand was still hurting, so I said my goodbyes, packed up and headed home. It was still a beautiful day and I had a great time. Next launch is December 11th. I'll be there, y'all are welcome to come on out and join us.

Posted by: Ted at 09:55 AM | category: Rocketry
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Robert the Llama Butcher has been keeping us posted on his gripping battle against savage nature. The chaotic forces of the wild have waged unrelenting warfare upon his neat and orderly bastion of civilization, and so far in his desperation he's managed to stem the tide, but not completely halt the devastation.

Earlier this year, Robert made a public plea for help, asking any with previous experience with this sort of enemy to please assist him.

Amidst the subsequent flood of calls for napalm, claymore mines, razor wire and beamed microwave weapons (mmmmm, toasty!), my quiet advice to use human urine went unheeded.

Now I based this on two things. First, I saw it once in a movie (Doc Hollywood), and we all know that Hollywood knows what's best for us. Secondly, I asked an aquaintance I know who is something of an expert on nature. Mr. X (he asked me not to use his real name on the internet because he fears our evil government) is eminently qualified. He drives an old but functional VW microbus with an ecology sticker on the bumper and he is a member of the American Greens Party, our indigenous friends of nature.

This is what he told me; "Human urine is the perfect method of area denial against natural forces. Almost all animals will avoid an area with that scent because we're all chauvanistic biped assholes who think we own the planet."

He also told me that he recalls seeing it in a movie once. When I asked how that was possible, seeing as how he didn't own a television (evil government beaming brain-controlling waves through the screen, ya know), he admitted that someone might have told him about it.

This is an educated man in touch with the world around him. Mr. X invited me in to try his latest culinary creation: Sinsemilla Brownies with Patchouli frosting. Fortunately I was pressed for time and had to decline, but not before hearing about how he has entered variations of that same basic recipe to every Betty Crocker recipe contest since 1964. He is convinced that he has taken first prize every year, but since he dares not send his real name and address through the governmnet controlled mail system, well, the Betty Crocker people can't contact him to let him know that he's won. Such is the life of one who refuses to be a tool of the man.

Another possibility occurred to me. Robert just may not be very familiar with our wildlife in Northern Virginia. Like everything else in such close proximity to Washington DC, even the animals achieve a cunning and cynicism not encountered elsewhere in the wild (evil government mind-beams? I merely note, you decide for yourselves).

I once saw a diagram of a favorite tactic used by deer in this area. A classic case of misdirection, a deer sneaks up on a hunter behind a tree then taps his shoulder. When the hunter looks that way, the deer tiptoes away in the opposite direction, smirking like a chimp (Mr. X used that simile often during our conversation, it's kinda stuck in my mind at the moment).

But Northern Virginia deer have taken the misdirection to new levels of sophistication. They have learned from the hunters, and are now using their own camoflage. The deer in our region are now wearing coveralls and posing as county workers. Their lack of hands poses no problems, because no one expects county workers to actually be doing anything anyways. It's a near perfect disguise.

So Robert, my advice to you regarding Bambi the Balrog and his evil sidekick Thumper (who may or may not be in the employ of our evil government) is simple and direct. You don't need explosives (for this, otherwise they're big fun), all you need is a supersoaker squirtrifle and your own human bodily functions. Urinate into the tank every time you have to go. Drink plenty of beer (volume) and eat asparagus (odor) to assist. Then, next time you see a group of county workers in your neighborhood pretending to be doing roadwork or such, do a quick check. County vehicle? Jumpsuits? Multiple "workers"? Remember, misdirection works because they give you just enough to let your own mind fill in the details you expect to see. Strap on that supersoaker and charge them. Spray them with your human essence. I guarantee that you'll instantly scatter them in a panic to get away. And when they send reinforcements, probably in a different type of uniform - misdirection, remember? - greet them at your door with your supersoaker of righteousness as well.

Let me know how this works out for you, eh?

Posted by: Ted at 08:25 AM | category: Links
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Maybe a launch report later or tomorrow. The weather is cooperating again this weekend: light breezes and warming up nicely after a chilly night. The Hot Jets is repaired and ready to fly again, and Watch the Birdie has a rebuilt hybrid motor installed, so she's set to launch as well. I also have a handful of model rockets packed away for the launch as well. It's looking to be a goooood day.

Before I go, I wanted to tease you with this little tidbit.

Doug Pratt was telling me about the solonoid valves he uses on the ground support equipment we use to fill hybrid rocket motors with nitrous oxide. Seems that early on, folks were using automobile-rated valves and burning them out because cars get a quick shot, whereas we hold the valves open for many seconds to complete the fill.

So Doug went out and found a source for custom solonoids, and it's the guy who did all the nitrous systems for movies like The Fast and the Furious. The guy is a complete loon, and his latest toy is a nitrous-injected chainsaw.

Rumor has it that there's a video out there showing this beast passing through a railroad tie like a light sabre through an Ewok. I'll try to get a link.

Posted by: Ted at 08:05 AM | category: Rocketry
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Hauntingly beautiful ice photography. Thanks to the Flea for pointing this one out.

Posted by: Ted at 06:18 AM | category: Links
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This is the best post I have ever read. Anywhere. Ever.

Posted by: Ted at 12:50 PM | category: Links
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Wouldn't it be fun to take out a full-page ad in the New York Times that said:

Ok, we admit it.

You already suspected, but Dubya really screwed up when he called Karl Rove "the Architect", and now the cat is out of the bag.

We gotcha! Ever hear the saying, "Bet big or stay at home?" You were so busy looking for all those hidden conspiracies that you didn't see the great big one right in front of you.

That's right, there was no fraud committed during the election. We just plain ol' reelected George W. Bush because we knew it would piss you off, and y'all are fun to watch when you rant and rave and foam at the mouth.

Can't move to Canada either, 'cause they were in on it too.

Don't you feel stupid?

Bill and Hillary helped. Or didn't, depending on your viewpoint.

Oh yeah, some of you are saying you should all go out and arm yourselves for the revolution. Please do. What with the National Firearms Registration Database and background checks and waiting periods that you insisted on, well, they make dandy tools to help identify the ones we really want to keep an eye on.

So to sum up, the election was a huge elaborate joke on you. Every last person that voted for President Bush knew about it. In fact, we held secret meetings just so we could laugh our asses off at how oblivious you were.

That kinda explains that smirk y'all hate too, don't it?

Yep. We're all stupid. How's it feel to be dumber than us?

Four. More. Years.

Sincerely,
Uncle Karl

Posted by: Ted at 12:03 PM | category: Square Pegs
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Doctors Fight To Keep Arafat Alive

Seeya, Yasser!

Posted by: Ted at 08:26 AM | category: Square Pegs
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Here's a simple idea who's time has come. Visit five blogs you usually just lurk at, and leave a comment. Visit three blogs you've never been to before and leave a comment. Even if it's just "Hi, it's Leave A Comment Day", that's fine. We are but fragile flowers who bask in showers of attention Everyone likes a little feedback, otherwise we feel like we're just talking to ourselves. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

(cross posted to Munuviana too)

Posted by: Ted at 06:07 AM | category: Links
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The Smithsonian rocks!

The American Museum of Natural History, in collaboration with MTV2, has launched SonicVision, a groundbreaking digitally animated alternative music show. SonicVision takes audiences in the Hayden Planetarium Space Theater on a mind-warping musical roller-coaster ride through fantastical dreamspace. With a mix by Moby and featuring tracks from Radiohead, U2, David Bowie, Coldplay, Queens of the Stone Age, Prodigy, The Flaming Lips, Fischerspooner, Spiritualized, Audioslave, Stereolab, Boards of Canada, David Byrne and Brian Eno, Goldfrapp, Zwan, White Zombie, and Moby, the music ignites this one-of-a-kind computer-generated musical and visual experience, which uses next-generation digital technology to illuminate the Planetarium's dome with a dazzling morphing of colorful visions. SonicVision is presented every Friday and Saturday evening at 7:30, 8:30 and 9:30p.m., in the Hayden Planetarium at the Museum's Rose Center for Earth and Space.

Posted by: Ted at 05:55 AM | category:
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Twenty five years ago today, radical Islam declared war on America by attacking the US Embassy in Tehran, Iran. Sixty six Americans were taken hostage and held for more than a year.

We didn't start this war, and it took a while for most of us to actually believe it was happening, despite the evidence right in front of our eyes. Beruit, USS Cole, Embassy bombings in Kenya and Tanzania, the bomb in the parking garage beneath the World Trade Center, Khobar towers bombing and many many more. 9/11 was the date of their most successful attack, not their first.

Posted by: Ted at 05:45 AM | category: History
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Mars rovers Spirit and Opportunity continue to function and are sending back intriguing data from the surface of the red planet.

Spirit, having trekked nearly two miles across the flat terrain of the vast Gusev Crater region where it set down, is zigzagging up the rugged Columbia Hills and is now nearly 200 feet above the surrounding plain.

Opportunity is nearing the end of its exploration of stadium-size Endurance Crater in the Meridiani Planum region and may claw its way over the rim.

"One favorite [theory] is that a dust devil happened to pick the vehicle to go through and go over the surface of it and clean it off a little bit," Erickson said.

Posted by: Ted at 05:27 AM | category: Space Program
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Boy. Girl. Jealous computer.

Two movies take this basic storyline on divergent paths: Virtual Girl (199 and Electric Dreams (1984). What a difference 15 years makes.

Lets start with the sweet stuff first. Almost nobody saw Electric Dreams when it first premiered, which is a shame because this is a charming love story with a SciFi-ish twist. In it, an architect named Miles buys his first PC (in the days before PC's were everywhere), with plans to control his entire home with it. Of course, things get screwed up right from the start, since almost the first thing he has to do at setup is input his name. He mistypes it, and for the rest of the flick the computer calls him "Moles". The PC gradually builds itself a male personna and things seem to be reasonably under control (with amusing exceptions here and there).

Then a new neighbor moves into the apartment downstairs. Madeline hits it off with Moles Miles, and also with Miles' computer without realizing it. The computer becomes jealous over the relationship between Miles and Madeline, and an interesting if improbable love triangle develops. When Miles realizes that the mysterious 'other man' is his own PC, he tries to take control of the situation and all hell breaks loose. I said this was a sweet movie, and there is a happy ending.

Electric Dreams is one of those movies that stuck with me and I'm not sure why. It bills itself as a fairy tale, which is as good a description as any. The soundtrack is pure 80's with a strong European lean, the story is fun and interesting, the special effects are ok (considering their age), and the acting is better than average. If you get a chance, grab a bottle of wine and a blanket big enough for two and cuddle up with your snuggle buddy for this one.

Note: in the end credits, the movie is dedicated to UNIVAC 1, one of the earliest supercomputers of the 1950's.

Virtual Girl is a modern, raunchier movie that's based on the same basic plot elements. I caught it on late-night cable, so the fact that there's plenty of nudity and softcore sex wasn't a surprise. What was a surprise was how much plot there actually was. To be sure, this isn't a good movie, but it's far above the usual late-night skinflick trash that's on.

A hotshot programmer is given the task of debugging a virtual sex simulation. The underlying rationale makes sense, and the scene between him and his boss arguing over it was a nice touch and unexpected in this type of movie.

Where you'd usually see the lead male actor panting in anticipation for every woman in sight, this guy is happily married. They have a baby, and near the beginning there's a brief attempt to show him as a devoted family man. Mostly the baby is used as a prop to advance the storyline when necessary - evil threatens baby! Ratchet up the tension.

Once again, the computer becomes jealous of the man. More correctly, the computer software is the jealous partner this time. Virtuality is her name ("Just call me Virtue"), and she starts to influence reality and cause problems in interesting ways.

The special effects in this one are way beyond what you'll see in Electric Dreams, but still fall short of today's best efforts. The best bits are when Virtue morphs from one girl to another ("What do you want? blonde cheerleader? brunette amazon? Anything you desire."). I have a quirky taste in women, so I'll admit that the lead actress is good looking enough but did absolutely nothing for me.

So there you have it. I recommend Electric Dreams, and if your tastes run in that direction you could do worse than Virtual Girl.

Posted by: Ted at 04:40 AM | category: Cult Flicks
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Over at Captain's Quarters, Ed says this:

There is a difference between an enemy and an opponent, a distinction lost on more than a few people on both sides of our necessary and beneficial political divide. Osama bin Laden, Abu Masab al-Zarqawi, and Mullah Omar are our enemies; John Kerry and John Edwards were our political opponents, but first they are our fellow Americans.

Remembering that, send good thoughts and prayers towards Mrs. Edwards, who has been diagnosed with breast cancer. My best wishes for a complete recovery.

Posted by: Ted at 07:56 PM | category: Links
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...is for this story to be true: John Ashcroft to resign as AG. Pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease!

Posted by: Ted at 04:08 PM | category: Square Pegs
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I'm pleased to announce that my oldest daughter, currently attending school in Michigan, has been accepted into Old Dominion University here in Virginia. I'll be heading to the Great White North in early December to help her pack up all her crap and haul it back down here.

Closer to home and in-state tuition rates. Yesssssssss!

Posted by: Ted at 12:01 PM | category: Family matters
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The unsinkable William Hung is back, this time with a CD full of Christmas music.

I actually heard one of the tracks this morning on the radio. Terrible, but not make-your-ears-bleed terrible. Lots of backup singers, which helps a lot.

Posted by: Ted at 06:08 AM | category: Links
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Dawn gets it.

You are going to see me get more involved in my political party during the next four years.

Got that? Democratic Process. It's that thing where you make your points, and I make mine, and we discuss and debate and eventually everyone decides together which way we'll do it for a while. But if you choose to quit if you don't get your way, then not only are you contributing to the problem you're bitching about, but you're also telling me that it's your way or no way.

Really. Screw you then. Enjoy Canada. News flash: your viewpoint isn't the only one that counts, and all your whining and name-calling doesn't change that. It's not even all that interesting anymore. And while we're at it, did you ever stop to think that your "one way" worldview is exactly the same as totalitarianism? Probably not, or you might also realize that your worldview is almost certainly not the "one way" that would become mandatory.

Something else: if the reason you voted for your guy is because he wasn't the other guy, then you don't get to be outraged when others fail to see the second coming where you do. Making a choice based on negatives is a perfectly valid way to vote, but that doesn't infer any special qualities on your candidate. This election framed it perfectly: "Anybody But Bush" didn't work, because the "anybody" wasn't someone that most people could vote for.

So work with the system, push and protest and suggest solutions. Spare us all the theatrics and name calling. The system works, and it has for over two hundred years.

Posted by: Ted at 07:15 PM | category: Square Pegs
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