The owner of the Florida Panthers professional hockey team will lose an estimated 10 million dollars by shutting down for the entire season. If they played, his losses would be somewhere around 18 million dollars.

How freaking stupid does the NHL players union have to be to not understand that there's a serious problem if the owners are better off financially with a lockout? Oh, they'll lose money all right, but they'll lose less money.

Vultures fighting over a corpse.

Posted by: Ted at 05:39 AM | category: Square Pegs
No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 90 words, total size 1 kb.

Jump over to Flying Space Monkey Chronicles and help him reach his goal of a half-million hits by today! Now!!! Note the exclamation points!!!!! Hurry!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: Ted at 02:46 PM | category: Links
Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 27 words, total size 1 kb.

I don't have the talent to create poetry beyond the occasional dirty limrick, so I'll link to some twisted stuff instead.

Courtesy of columnist Lincoln Spector:

Alfred, Lord Tennyson

Half a gig, half a gig,
Half a gig all spent,
Into the upgrade from hell
Went the department.
All the new features now!
All that they have sent.
Into the upgrade from hell
Went the department.

Edgar Allen Poe

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, eyes too bleary,
Over messages most eerie, errors that would not compute-
Windows, and I now must sum up, would not run or even come up,
Not a desktop would it drum up; operating system mute.
Cryptic message on my screen and in all else Windows was mute.
OS sick and most acute.

Ernest Lawrence Thayer

It looked extremely rocky for the Mudville Corp. that day;
The office suite was sour and Paint's colors all were gray.
So when Cooney needed tech support, and got that old dial tone,
He hoped that mighty Casey would be answering the phone.

But first came a recording, and he knew just what to do;
He listened to that little voice, and then pressed number Two.
That little voice returned again, and told him of his fate,
But Cooney knew just what to do and so he pressed the Eight.

Those are mere snippets, there's lots more to enjoy. In fact, click on the little "past articles" link on that page, and be prepared to laugh out loud at computer geekdom's version of Dave Barry. I especially loved his Shakespearian version of Customer Support - The Tragedy of DSL.

Posted by: Ted at 11:59 AM | category: Links
Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 282 words, total size 2 kb.

Check out Google!

Posted by: Ted at 07:15 AM | category: Links
Comments (3) | Add Comment
Post contains 7 words, total size 1 kb.

While this is not even close to the scope of the CBS story, this one's been going on quite a bit longer. A group of collectors over on the alt.binaries.pictures.eroctica.vintage newsgroup have been having a grand ol' time for several years, trading old postcards and scanning girlie magazines from way back when. I visit occasionally, and contribute once in a blue moon, and you've seen some of their work here on Rocket Jones in various pinups and book covers. There's some real historical knowledge there, as well as a few inevitable trolls and nitwits.

So anyways, a while back someone got curious about a specific series of photographs taken at a location that's come to be known as the "spider pool". There's a picture (safe for work) in the extended entry, along with the rest of the story. more...

Posted by: Ted at 05:24 AM | category: History
Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 491 words, total size 3 kb.

Victor knows how to hijack a comments section.

After annika blows off her Poetry Wednesday, Victor jumps in and declares Joe Don Baker Haiku day in her stead.

I contributed, you should too. Rumor has it there's prizes and everything. Woot!

Posted by: Ted at 04:55 AM | category: Links
No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 59 words, total size 1 kb.

There you are on a beautiful spring day, having a picnic. Fresh air, good food, great company, and then...

(in the extended entry)
more...

Posted by: Ted at 04:53 AM | category: Square Pegs
Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 41 words, total size 1 kb.

India has placed EDUSAT into orbit. The satellite has twelve transponders dedicated to educational programming, and will provide coverage to India's vast rural areas.

Using their Geo-synchronous Satellite Launch Vehicle (GSLV-F01 - they need serious help naming their rockets), they sucessfully boosted the satellite into orbit on Monday.

From a statement released by the Minister for Human Resource Development:

''The very fact that a dedicated satellite has been put in space for educational purposes symbolises a national resolve to spread learning across the length and breadth of this country."

Congrats India!

Posted by: Ted at 12:20 PM | category: Space Program
Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 103 words, total size 1 kb.

It's a sad day for us Cult Cinema buffs. Film maker Russ Meyer has passed away at age 82. Best known for his trademark well-endowed female leads and plenty of nudity, his movies stand up to the cheesy test of time and are still lots of fun to watch.

Thanks Russ, I'll watch something in your honor this week.

Posted by: Ted at 11:47 AM | category: Cult Flicks
No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 65 words, total size 1 kb.

From Spot On, via Dean Esmay:

1. Why did you start a blog?

2. Do you have a blogmother/blogfather?

3. Has it helped/hurt/had no effect on your professional life?

4. Do your 'real world' friends know that you blog?

5. Do you have a blog crush?

Leave your answers here in the comments, go to Karol's place and leave 'em in there, or post them to your place with a trackback. I'm easy.

Posted by: Ted at 06:10 AM | category: Links
Comments (4) | Add Comment
Post contains 81 words, total size 1 kb.

Walking may protect elderly men from dementia.

Elderly men who are sedentary or walk less than a quarter of a mile per day are nearly twice as likely to develop dementia and Alzheimer's disease compared to men who walk more than two miles per day.

Anyway, the headline made me think of this joke (in the extended entry because of indelicate language): more...

Posted by: Ted at 06:07 AM | category: Square Pegs
No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 188 words, total size 1 kb.

Most of us remember her as Ginger from Gilligan's Island, but Tina Louise has had a decent career in Hollywood (translation: she hasn't starved for lack of acting roles, though there are rumors of a porn movie or two in her filmography).

Of course, it helps to look this good in a toga (in the extended entry). more...

Posted by: Ted at 05:34 AM | category: Cult Flicks
Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 69 words, total size 1 kb.

1 I'm not much for redheads, but I was more partial to Ginger than MaryAnn. On a tangentially-related note, have you voted in this week's SF Babe poll at my site? It's among the Pennies and Judys from Lost in Space (both the TV and movie versions). Check back late tomorrow (or early Friday) for the next week's poll.

Posted by: JohnL at September 22, 2004 10:54 AM (Hs4rn)

2 Yes I did. The new 'bad girl' Penny got my vote.

Posted by: Ted at September 22, 2004 11:29 AM (blNMI)

Hide Comments | Add Comment

Please smite that stupid asshole Jimmy Swaggart.

Posted by: Ted at 07:16 PM | category: Links
Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 19 words, total size 1 kb.

Indonesia is the largest Islamic nation in the world, and they've just held peaceful democratic elections. Thanks to Simon for pointing that out.

Meanwhile, in Afghanistan, there's another bunch of good news that you just don't hear about. Thanks to Winds of Change for this one.

Posted by: Ted at 09:55 AM | category: Links
Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 54 words, total size 1 kb.

Last night I experimented with a Thai-inspired vegetable dish. Yuck!!!!

You should thank me for not posting the recipe.

Posted by: Ted at 06:05 AM | category: Recipes
Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 31 words, total size 1 kb.

This is the funniest thing I've read in a long long time, if you follow politics via blogs. Oh lord, don't miss the comments, they're the best part!

Thanks to Q and O for pointing this one out.

Posted by: Ted at 05:14 AM | category: Links
Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 54 words, total size 1 kb.

Victor jumps into the cheerleader wars with both feet by introducing the Hot Rats. To be honest, the first thing I thought of was Frank Zappa (Rat Tomago was an instrumental piece of his), then this month's cover to Mad Magazine (issue #446, scroll down and click it to see), and only then did the "awwww, so cute" moment hit me. I dig a rat named Leather though. Good juju.

Kalashnikov Vodka. The only way it'll be available in California is if there's less than 10 shots in a bottle.

Q and O transmogrifies itself into a portal for all things neolibertarianistic. Adjust your blogrolls and hang on for a wild ride. If these guys aren't already a daily read for you, then you're really missing out on something special.

I've been getting to Captain's Quarters via Q and O for quite a while now, it's time to add him to my blogroll.

Also new to the blogroll is Interested Participant. Apparently I've been on his blogroll for quite some time, but I'm a lazy and unobservant bastard (just ask my wife).

InstaPundit finally got the word and is now providing a PDA-friendly version. Yay!

Imagine keeping a secret for over 50 years. That's what this rancher did, quietly letting archeologists work in a canyon on his land that contained the remnants of an ancient Amerind civilization.

Yoni sent a nice email asking for a link and a mention for his blog, where the focus is college basketball. All you SportsBlog junkies can also add his site to your daily visit list.

No link here, just because. Madonna calls for world peace, french kisses Pope. Rumor has it that Britney is pissed because she was upstaged again.

*Ripple Fire is a term used by the military when several rockets are fired sequentially in a short period of time.

Posted by: Ted at 06:50 PM | category: Links
Comments (3) | Add Comment
Post contains 312 words, total size 2 kb.

1 Hot Rats was a Zappa album title, too. And, is that Madonna-french-kissing-the-Pope story true? I haven't heard that one yet!

Posted by: Tuning Spork at September 20, 2004 08:34 PM (LYY6j)

2 Hockey
Hockey
Hockey
*sigh

Posted by: Tricia at September 20, 2004 09:25 PM (lRTFS)

3 Ya know, I would've sworn Hot Rats was a Zappa album, but when I Googled all that came up was Rat Tomago (I only checked the first page). I remembered that one too, so I thought maybe my memory was faulty.

I made up the thing about Madonna. Sounds odd enough to be half-believable though, eh?

Posted by: Ted at September 21, 2004 06:02 AM (blNMI)

Hide Comments | Add Comment

Please, make sure you put down the beverage before going here. Warning: may be unfunny to the Rather humor impaired.

Posted by: Ted at 02:13 PM | category: Links
No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 32 words, total size 1 kb.

... that's what I have cheerleaders for! This week the Rockets emerged victorious in their Blogger Bowl matchup against Vehement Spittle, evening my record at 1-1.

Baltimore's defense came up big, Brett Favre, Isaac Bruce and Jamaal Lewis all had solid games, and for the second week in a row everyone on the roster (including the bench) scored points.

The score might have been closer, but my worthy opponent failed to start a wide receiver for some reason, perhaps he was distracted by the Hot Jets cheerleaders? I know I would be.

The best cheerleading squad in all of fantasy football:
Blogoline, of Blogoline's Journal!
Big Hair, of Left & Right!
Wegglywoo, of On the Beach at the End of the World!
Margi, of Margi Lowry!
Gir, of Your Moosey Fate!
Tink, of Flitting Here and There!
Sarah, of Trying To Grok!
Helen, of Everyday Stranger!
annika, of annika's journal!
Cindy, of Dusting My Brain!
Lemur Girl, of... uh, Lemur Girl!
Lynn S., of Reflections in d minor!
Susie, of Practical Penumbra!
Mookie, of MookieRiffic!
Denita, of Who Tends The Fires!
Jennifer, of Jennifer's History and Stuff!
Heather, of Angelweave!
Kat, of Mostly Fluff!
Nic, of Shoes, Ships, and Sealing Wax!
LeeAnn, of The Cheese Stands Alone!
Dawn of Dawn Enterprises!
Stevie, of Caught In The XFire!

Next week I'm up against Brendoman.com, who has a formidable team. I have a tip for him though: No matter how proud you are of it, naming your team after Soy Sauce is wussy, m'kay?

But save the sauce, it'll go good with your ass when I hand it to you next week. On a plate.

Posted by: Ted at 11:47 AM | category: Links
Comments (3) | Add Comment
Post contains 285 words, total size 3 kb.

The weather is turning cool in the evenings, so it's time to start thinking about the gardens again. This fall I want to get rid of my last rose, but it's just too beautiful to just dig up and throw away. Here's a picture showing the blooms. She's a climbing rose, and as long as you keep snipping the spent blooms she keeps going with waves of buds through to late summer. I prune her back hard every fall, and by the next summer she's climbed her way back up the trellis and reaches 8'-12' feet tall. She's touchy about black spot, like most roses, but a weekly spray of orthonex keeps her looking great.

If someone in the metro DC area wants this rose, I'd be happy to give her to you. I'll prune her back and deliver bare root sometime before November so you can get her settled in before frost. The sooner the better.

One way or another, she's outta here because I need to clear the spot she's in, and I don't have a good place to transplant her to. Here's your chance to pick up a showstopper of a climber. Let me know in the comments or email me, either way, because I'd really like to find her a good home.

Posted by: Ted at 07:27 AM | category: Square Pegs
No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 226 words, total size 1 kb.