September 24, 2004

What's wrong with this picture?

The owner of the Florida Panthers professional hockey team will lose an estimated 10 million dollars by shutting down for the entire season. If they played, his losses would be somewhere around 18 million dollars.

How freaking stupid does the NHL players union have to be to not understand that there's a serious problem if the owners are better off financially with a lockout? Oh, they'll lose money all right, but they'll lose less money.

Vultures fighting over a corpse.

Posted by: Ted at 05:39 AM | category: Square Pegs
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September 23, 2004

Quick!

Jump over to Flying Space Monkey Chronicles and help him reach his goal of a half-million hits by today! Now!!! Note the exclamation points!!!!! Hurry!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: Ted at 02:46 PM | category: Links
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Inspired by annika and Victor

I don't have the talent to create poetry beyond the occasional dirty limrick, so I'll link to some twisted stuff instead.

Courtesy of columnist Lincoln Spector:

Alfred, Lord Tennyson

Half a gig, half a gig,
Half a gig all spent,
Into the upgrade from hell
Went the department.
All the new features now!
All that they have sent.
Into the upgrade from hell
Went the department.

Edgar Allen Poe

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, eyes too bleary,
Over messages most eerie, errors that would not compute-
Windows, and I now must sum up, would not run or even come up,
Not a desktop would it drum up; operating system mute.
Cryptic message on my screen and in all else Windows was mute.
OS sick and most acute.

Ernest Lawrence Thayer

It looked extremely rocky for the Mudville Corp. that day;
The office suite was sour and Paint's colors all were gray.
So when Cooney needed tech support, and got that old dial tone,
He hoped that mighty Casey would be answering the phone.

But first came a recording, and he knew just what to do;
He listened to that little voice, and then pressed number Two.
That little voice returned again, and told him of his fate,
But Cooney knew just what to do and so he pressed the Eight.

Those are mere snippets, there's lots more to enjoy. In fact, click on the little "past articles" link on that page, and be prepared to laugh out loud at computer geekdom's version of Dave Barry. I especially loved his Shakespearian version of Customer Support - The Tragedy of DSL.

Posted by: Ted at 11:59 AM | category: Links
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Uh Huh!

Check out Google!

Posted by: Ted at 07:15 AM | category: Links
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Another example of the Internet Community in action

While this is not even close to the scope of the CBS story, this one's been going on quite a bit longer. A group of collectors over on the alt.binaries.pictures.eroctica.vintage newsgroup have been having a grand ol' time for several years, trading old postcards and scanning girlie magazines from way back when. I visit occasionally, and contribute once in a blue moon, and you've seen some of their work here on Rocket Jones in various pinups and book covers. There's some real historical knowledge there, as well as a few inevitable trolls and nitwits.

So anyways, a while back someone got curious about a specific series of photographs taken at a location that's come to be known as the "spider pool". There's a picture (safe for work) in the extended entry, along with the rest of the story. more...

Posted by: Ted at 05:24 AM | category: History
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The presence of rats automatically lend a certain elan

Victor knows how to hijack a comments section.

After annika blows off her Poetry Wednesday, Victor jumps in and declares Joe Don Baker Haiku day in her stead.

I contributed, you should too. Rumor has it there's prizes and everything. Woot!

Posted by: Ted at 04:55 AM | category: Links
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I hate when this happens

There you are on a beautiful spring day, having a picnic. Fresh air, good food, great company, and then...

(in the extended entry)
more...

Posted by: Ted at 04:53 AM | category: Square Pegs
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September 22, 2004

India launches satellite dedicated to education

India has placed EDUSAT into orbit. The satellite has twelve transponders dedicated to educational programming, and will provide coverage to India's vast rural areas.

Using their Geo-synchronous Satellite Launch Vehicle (GSLV-F01 - they need serious help naming their rockets), they sucessfully boosted the satellite into orbit on Monday.

From a statement released by the Minister for Human Resource Development:

''The very fact that a dedicated satellite has been put in space for educational purposes symbolises a national resolve to spread learning across the length and breadth of this country."

Congrats India!

Posted by: Ted at 12:20 PM | category: Space Program
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Another Icon passes

It's a sad day for us Cult Cinema buffs. Film maker Russ Meyer has passed away at age 82. Best known for his trademark well-endowed female leads and plenty of nudity, his movies stand up to the cheesy test of time and are still lots of fun to watch.

Thanks Russ, I'll watch something in your honor this week.

Posted by: Ted at 11:47 AM | category: Cult Flicks
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Five questions for bloggers

From Spot On, via Dean Esmay:

1. Why did you start a blog?

2. Do you have a blogmother/blogfather?

3. Has it helped/hurt/had no effect on your professional life?

4. Do your 'real world' friends know that you blog?

5. Do you have a blog crush?

Leave your answers here in the comments, go to Karol's place and leave 'em in there, or post them to your place with a trackback. I'm easy.

Posted by: Ted at 06:10 AM | category: Links
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Health news and the joke it triggered in my mind

Walking may protect elderly men from dementia.

Elderly men who are sedentary or walk less than a quarter of a mile per day are nearly twice as likely to develop dementia and Alzheimer's disease compared to men who walk more than two miles per day.

While this is good news and most of us would benefit by getting more exercise, the results are from a study that was conducted only on elderly Japanese men living in Hawaii. Seriously.

Anyway, the headline made me think of this joke (in the extended entry because of indelicate language): more...

Posted by: Ted at 06:07 AM | category: Square Pegs
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I'm still partial to MaryAnn myself

Most of us remember her as Ginger from Gilligan's Island, but Tina Louise has had a decent career in Hollywood (translation: she hasn't starved for lack of acting roles, though there are rumors of a porn movie or two in her filmography).

Of course, it helps to look this good in a toga (in the extended entry). more...

Posted by: Ted at 05:34 AM | category: Cult Flicks
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September 21, 2004

Hello, God? I need a favor...

Please smite that stupid asshole Jimmy Swaggart.

Posted by: Ted at 07:16 PM | category: Links
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There's good news too

Indonesia is the largest Islamic nation in the world, and they've just held peaceful democratic elections. Thanks to Simon for pointing that out.

Meanwhile, in Afghanistan, there's another bunch of good news that you just don't hear about. Thanks to Winds of Change for this one.

Posted by: Ted at 09:55 AM | category: Links
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Someone's in the kitchen with Dinaaaahhhhh!!!!

Last night I experimented with a Thai-inspired vegetable dish. Yuck!!!!

You should thank me for not posting the recipe.

Posted by: Ted at 06:05 AM | category: Recipes
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Reduced to tears, and my sides hurt too

This is the funniest thing I've read in a long long time, if you follow politics via blogs. Oh lord, don't miss the comments, they're the best part!

Thanks to Q and O for pointing this one out.

Posted by: Ted at 05:14 AM | category: Links
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September 20, 2004

Ripple Fire*

Victor jumps into the cheerleader wars with both feet by introducing the Hot Rats. To be honest, the first thing I thought of was Frank Zappa (Rat Tomago was an instrumental piece of his), then this month's cover to Mad Magazine (issue #446, scroll down and click it to see), and only then did the "awwww, so cute" moment hit me. I dig a rat named Leather though. Good juju.

Kalashnikov Vodka. The only way it'll be available in California is if there's less than 10 shots in a bottle.

Q and O transmogrifies itself into a portal for all things neolibertarianistic. Adjust your blogrolls and hang on for a wild ride. If these guys aren't already a daily read for you, then you're really missing out on something special.

I've been getting to Captain's Quarters via Q and O for quite a while now, it's time to add him to my blogroll.

Also new to the blogroll is Interested Participant. Apparently I've been on his blogroll for quite some time, but I'm a lazy and unobservant bastard (just ask my wife).

InstaPundit finally got the word and is now providing a PDA-friendly version. Yay!

Imagine keeping a secret for over 50 years. That's what this rancher did, quietly letting archeologists work in a canyon on his land that contained the remnants of an ancient Amerind civilization.

Yoni sent a nice email asking for a link and a mention for his blog, where the focus is college basketball. All you SportsBlog junkies can also add his site to your daily visit list.

No link here, just because. Madonna calls for world peace, french kisses Pope. Rumor has it that Britney is pissed because she was upstaged again.

*Ripple Fire is a term used by the military when several rockets are fired sequentially in a short period of time.

Posted by: Ted at 06:50 PM | category: Links
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It's "Be Kind to Monitors Week"

Please, make sure you put down the beverage before going here. Warning: may be unfunny to the Rather humor impaired.

Posted by: Ted at 02:13 PM | category: Links
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I'd do the happy dance, but...

... that's what I have cheerleaders for! This week the Rockets emerged victorious in their Blogger Bowl matchup against Vehement Spittle, evening my record at 1-1.

Baltimore's defense came up big, Brett Favre, Isaac Bruce and Jamaal Lewis all had solid games, and for the second week in a row everyone on the roster (including the bench) scored points.

The score might have been closer, but my worthy opponent failed to start a wide receiver for some reason, perhaps he was distracted by the Hot Jets cheerleaders? I know I would be.

The best cheerleading squad in all of fantasy football:
Blogoline, of Blogoline's Journal!
Big Hair, of Left & Right!
Wegglywoo, of On the Beach at the End of the World!
Margi, of Margi Lowry!
Gir, of Your Moosey Fate!
Tink, of Flitting Here and There!
Sarah, of Trying To Grok!
Helen, of Everyday Stranger!
annika, of annika's journal!
Cindy, of Dusting My Brain!
Lemur Girl, of... uh, Lemur Girl!
Lynn S., of Reflections in d minor!
Susie, of Practical Penumbra!
Mookie, of MookieRiffic!
Denita, of Who Tends The Fires!
Jennifer, of Jennifer's History and Stuff!
Heather, of Angelweave!
Kat, of Mostly Fluff!
Nic, of Shoes, Ships, and Sealing Wax!
LeeAnn, of The Cheese Stands Alone!
Dawn of Dawn Enterprises!
Stevie, of Caught In The XFire!

Next week I'm up against Brendoman.com, who has a formidable team. I have a tip for him though: No matter how proud you are of it, naming your team after Soy Sauce is wussy, m'kay?

But save the sauce, it'll go good with your ass when I hand it to you next week. On a plate.

Posted by: Ted at 11:47 AM | category: Links
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Free, to a good home

The weather is turning cool in the evenings, so it's time to start thinking about the gardens again. This fall I want to get rid of my last rose, but it's just too beautiful to just dig up and throw away. Here's a picture showing the blooms. She's a climbing rose, and as long as you keep snipping the spent blooms she keeps going with waves of buds through to late summer. I prune her back hard every fall, and by the next summer she's climbed her way back up the trellis and reaches 8'-12' feet tall. She's touchy about black spot, like most roses, but a weekly spray of orthonex keeps her looking great.

If someone in the metro DC area wants this rose, I'd be happy to give her to you. I'll prune her back and deliver bare root sometime before November so you can get her settled in before frost. The sooner the better.

One way or another, she's outta here because I need to clear the spot she's in, and I don't have a good place to transplant her to. Here's your chance to pick up a showstopper of a climber. Let me know in the comments or email me, either way, because I'd really like to find her a good home.

Posted by: Ted at 07:27 AM | category: Square Pegs
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