The takeover was pretty darn hostile, but Oracle finally absorbed PeopleSoft. Now they're announcing immediate layoffs, and rumors hold it could be up to half of the original PeopleSoft workforce.

Good.

I've dealt with PeopleSoft products and they're less than impressive, in a violently inhaled cave-in-your-cheeks sort of way. Bitter? Nahhhhhh.

Posted by: Ted at 07:03 PM | category: Square Pegs
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(in the extended entry) more...

Posted by: Ted at 12:06 PM | category: Square Pegs
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A friend had to go fill the little cup as part of getting fitted for a new workplace, and it reminded me of my military days.

As Security Policemen, and especially since we worked around nuclear weapons, we were regularly tested for drugs. Later in my career, after transferring into computers, they went to more of a lottery system. Every month they would draw 1 or 2 or 3 numbers randomly, and anyone who's social security number ended with that number went in for the ol' golden flow. They claimed it was random, but the same 'suspected' people were tested pretty much continuously. A friend and I volunteered to help out at the Special Olympics one year and got really nice event t-shirts. We tie-dyed them and wore them to a unit picnic, after which we were immediately called in for urinalysis.

Rumor had it that there were certain "signs" to look for to uncover the dopers. Among them were hippy clothes (tie-dye, peace signs, Grateful Dead shirts, etc), and hair parted in the middle. Seriously. Seriously stupid.

Anyways, as a cop we were required to show up for work at least a half hour early to draw our weapons and gear. A few carried .38 revolvers (this was pre-9mm days), a few lugged around the M60 machine gun or the M203 grenade launcher/M16 combo, but most of us carried the regular M16. So we'd draw weapons and ammo and get ready for our inspection before going on duty, called "guardmount".

Usually, guardmount was held in a small room right next to the armory. We'd get the daily passwords, any special notices and news to be aware of, changes in assignments, plus an inspection of our bad little selves. Hair, uniform, equipment, etc. You've seen similar on television on most every cop show from Hill Street Blues to Reno 911.

If there was to be a larger formation or if the higher ups wanted to talk to us, then we'd have to trudge across the street to the cop headquarters building. They had a larger guardmount room there.

One morning, after working a midnight shift, we were told to report across the street for formation. This news was met with boos and grumbling, because we just wanted to turn in our shit and go home.

A lot of cops (me included) made a quick pit stop before heading over for the formation. You can see where this is going, right?

Yep. We lined up and they informed us that it was time for a surprise urinalysis test. They were lucky that we'd already turned in our weapons, because there was murder in our eyes. We couldn't leave until we peed, and many of us had just gone a few minutes before.

Tired and irate, that described us. When we railed at them for not giving us 10 minutes warning, they suggested that we drink water and/or lots of coffee. That was reasonable, but screw that, if they didn't want to be reasonable, we weren't going to be either. It didn't take long to realize that they couldn't leave until we all took the test too. A lot of us refused to drink anything (we had to go to bed, who wanted to be up running to the bathroom every half hour?). It finally devolved into them waking us up every half hour to ask us if we were ready, and gradually our numbers thinned out as nature took its course. Four hours later the last cop filled his little plastic cup, snapped the lid on and handed it over. We never had another "surprise" inspection like that again.

Posted by: Ted at 06:04 AM | category: Boring Stories
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So says Paul over at Sanity's Edge. Right out there in the open too, not all hidden in the comments or in an extended entry.

Long story short: Paul was looking for a new quote for his sidebar and decided to make it a contest. Lots of great entries, but mine won. Because I'm a f*cking cheater genius.

Just to prove there's no hard feelings between myself and the little people, I'll bestow links. Dortch. Shank. Oorgo. Casey. Jim. I'll do more than that, I'll even recommend them because they're smart people (even though none of them link to Rocket Jones dammit (except for Jim)). I know they're smart because they read Paul, and Paul's obviously a genius.

It takes one to know one.

Posted by: Ted at 04:48 AM | category: Links
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So says Paul over at Sanity's Edge. Right out there in the open too, not all hidden in the comments or in an extended entry.

Long story short: Paul was looking for a new quote for his sidebar and decided to make it a contest. Lots of great entries, but mine won. Because I'm a f*cking cheater genius.

Just to prove there's no hard feelings between myself and the little people, I'll bestow links. Dortch. Shank. Oorgo. Casey. Jim. I'll do more than that, I'll even recommend them because they're smart people (even though none of them link to Rocket Jones dammit (except for Jim)). I know they're smart because they read Paul, and Paul's obviously a genius.

It takes one to know one.

Posted by: Ted at 04:48 AM | category: Links
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The guys over at RNS have been on a roll the last few days, and have something worth reading every day.

From Mom, a really funny joke. Too true by half too.

They also link to a guy who acts unprofessional. I'd seen this the other day and meant to link to it, but forgot. Do yourself a favor and go read it now. Really.

Someday the shit might hit the fan where you live, in a big way. Are you prepared for that day? Have you ever even given it some thought? Check out "For Ourselves, By Ourselves". That link is to the 4th part, and there are links there to the first three parts. Most of the time I throw these links around and don't really expect many folks to click them, but... well, I'd go so far as to say it's required reading.

There's a regular over at RNS name of Rivrdog, who has his own site. Good stuff there. Drop by and look around. He posts boobs too.

Posted by: Ted at 07:54 PM | category: Links
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I'll quote entire:

NEW YORK (AP) - Four CBS executives were fired Monday following the release of an independent investigation into a "60 Minutes Wednesday" story about President Bush's military service that relied on forged documents.

The network fired Mary Mapes, producer of the report; Josh Howard, executive producer of "60 Minutes Wednesday" and his top deputy Mary Murphy; and senior vice president Betsy West.

Posted by: Ted at 11:55 AM | category: Links
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From The Sporting News:

... as if the NHL hasn't had enough bad publicity in recent months, BusinessWeek magazine has named [NHL commissioner] Gary Bettman one of the worst managers in the United States in 2004.

In selecting Bettman to this list, the magazine cited the "shambles" of the NHL's and the "weak TV deal" he signed last June with NBC, leading to the conclusion that the NHL was now "a second-tier sport" in the United States.

It's unknown what Bettman's opinion is of this dubious honor, but there are more than a few NHL players and fans that consider BusinessWeek's assessment of the commissioner to be quite accurate.

The NHL gets a huge boost every four years come Olymipics time, and people know about the "Miracle on Ice". Thanks to inept marketing and a refusal to adapt the rules to correct readily apparent problems with game play, the NHL has squandered every chance to become a major sport in the US.

So how does the well-connected fan channel his frustration over the labor impasse? This guy bought Hockey cards. Problem is, he used a government credit card to do it.

Donald Billing, a former director of Measurement Canada, was charged with 11 counts of fraud. Police say he used government credit cards to buy hockey cards valued at approximately C$185,000 ($150,000), and tried to pass off the purchases as office supplies.

He's Canadian, so the NHL strike just has to be a mitigating circumstance, right?

Posted by: Ted at 11:46 AM | category: Links
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1 Good to see that "the Count" is getting the recognition that he so richly deserves. However, what is this "readily apparent problems with gameplay" crap I read? THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH HOCKEY! if people would quit trying to CHANGE it, they'd find that it is truly nature's perfect sport.

thank you.

Posted by: Derek at January 10, 2005 03:49 PM (wEVXE)

2 Gotta disagree Derek. Goalie equipment is too damn big. With the new breed of oversized goaltenders, there's too little room around the edges to shoot at, and they're too quick to get under. The idea behind the goalie pads was to protect the goalie, not the net.

I also like the 'touch up' rule they're testing in the minors this year, and I think...

I just realized I like *all* of the proposed rule changes: allow two-line passes (or get rid of the red line), no more icing for the shorthanded team on power plays, power plays last the full 2 minutes - not until a goal is scored, and 4-on-4 OT, then a shootout.

I love a good defensive game, but it's gotten dull.

Posted by: Ted at January 10, 2005 03:57 PM (ZjSa7)

3 See, I will disagree. Points!

I'm a goalie. I can say firsthand: the equipment isn't too big, trust me on this one. Professional goalies are simply better conditioned athletes than their predecessors.

I do not like the icing rule which is being tried out. I've been to some minor league games this season and, with no other argument than "it's just not right," I don't like it.

I like a good 1-1 game goin' into overtime. I will say that, having been an employee of a minor league team in a league where games were decided via shootouts, the shootout has a place in my heart. The other proposed changes? Straight in the toilet...

But then, I have no say in it, do I?

Posted by: Derek at January 10, 2005 06:33 PM (wEVXE)

4 Exactly my point, Derek. The pro goalies of today are the best ever, which naturally cuts down on the number of goals allowed. Take away that inch or two all the way around and an additional goal or two a game will be scored. That's good for the game because it's what the typical casual fan can understand.

Your input means just as much as mine.

Posted by: Ted at January 10, 2005 08:14 PM (ZjSa7)

5 What we really need is an ice age that will make the game more available to the youth of the United States, particularly the sunbelt whose cities the NHL seems to covet.

Posted by: Brian J. at January 11, 2005 10:45 AM (V04ml)

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What luck! This site just happens to sell swords (and other weapons) of all kinds.

Posted by: Ted at 05:05 AM | category: Links
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They call it the Hot Lix Tequila Lollipop, I call it a bug sucker. It's a tequila flavored sucker with a real worm embedded inside.

I got it as a gift, and it's too unique to actually eat. That's my excuse story and I'm sticking to it.

Posted by: Ted at 04:54 AM | category: Links
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America's initial manned program was project Mercury, where each flight carried a single astronaut. Early on, after the decision to go to the moon had been made, work was begun on the Apollo spacecraft, which were designed for three astronauts. Along the way it was decided that an intermediate program was needed, hence the Gemini program was born. As indicated by the program name, Gemini carried two astronauts. Since it began after the other programs, the Gemini spacecraft were actually more technologically advanced than the following Apollo capsules which went to the moon.

Posted by: Ted at 10:12 AM | category: Space Program
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In football, playoffs are those extra games at the end of the year between all the teams in the league who win enough games. They use the playoff games to figure out who the best team is that season.

I know some Washington Redskins fans are confused as to why some teams are still playing. In recent seasons, the Redskins have sometimes stopped playing football as early as October.

Posted by: Ted at 09:43 AM | category: Square Pegs
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This was posted back in July of 2003 at my old Blogspot site and inexplicably never made it over during the migration to Munu. I'll repost it here and now pretty much as it originally appeared.

We got a phone call from our son yesterday. He’s in Greece, doing the Med tour with his boat (submarines are referred to as ‘boats’, all other commissioned vessels are ‘ships’), loving Navy life and doing great. [Our son is out of the Navy now, but still doing fine - RJ]

Last night I started randomly googling around with the word ‘submarine’ and got to wondering about the method the US uses to name our subs. Here’s a little bit about what I found.

Before WWII, all US subs were basically numbered by type, so you had the O-25, the R-14, and the S-12. Militarily efficient, but not very inspiring.

In WWII, US submarines were named after fish and marine creatures. So we had cool scary names like the Barracuda, Stingray, and SeaDragon. We also had some less-than-fearsome names like the USS Plunger, Tuna, and Cod. We had a lot of submarines in WWII, and I guess we ran out of good names.

Since then, the Fast Attack boats have been named according to evolving custom, starting with the same fish and marine creatures, then moving on to Presidents, Admirals, and important Americans, for awhile cities and towns, and most recently to States (which used to be what we named Battleships for).

For the ‘boomers’ (missile boats), the evolution was from Presidents, to Distinguished Americans, and now States of the Union. There was a time when you knew a ship’s function by it’s name; the Iowa and Texas were battleships, the Helena and Indianapolis were cruisers. It's not that cut and dried anymore.

While poking around, I saw among the USN Ballistic Missile Submarine force the Lafayette (SSBN 616), Tecumseh (SSBN 62 , Von Steuben (SSBN 632), Casimir Pulaski (SSBN 633), Simon Bolivar (SSBN 641), and the Mariano G. Vallejo (SSBN 65 . There is also a Fast Attack boat named the Kamehameha (SSN 642). Not all of these boats are still in service since the average lifespan of US submarines appears to be around 30 years.

The names may be familiar, in a vague sort of way. But what did they do that was important enough for us to name ships (er, boats) after them? Click on the names for more complete biographies.

Lafayette
The Marquis de Lafayette was a French soldier and statesman who played an important part in the American Revolutionary War.

Tecumseh
One of the great leaders of the American Indian tribes. A member of the Shawnee, he worked to unite the Indian nations against the encroaching white man.

Von Steuben
Friedrich Wilhelm Augustus von Steuben was a Prussian soldier who came to America to help in the war against Britain. He was instrumental in turning WashingtonÂ’s ragtag band of revolutionaries into an army, introducing techniques of training that are still used today.

Casimir Pulaski
Polish officer who is known as the Father of American Cavalry, he helped organize and train troops for General Washington. He trained the father of Robert E. Lee in cavalry tactics.

Simon Bolivar
This one has me a little stumped. Basically his claim to fame – as far as the US Navy is concerned – is that he traveled through the US soon after the war of independence, which may have inspired him to liberate South America. He is sometimes called the ‘George Washington of South America’. I’ll keep looking for the tie-in, unless ‘prominent Americans’ extends to the whole of the Americas (USS Carmen Miranda anyone?).

Mariano G. Vellejo
Born in Mexico, he considered himself a Californian above all else. He played an important part in the development of the California territory and itÂ’s eventual inclusion into the United States.

Kamehameha
A dynasty of Hawaiian monarchs. I always thought it was just one King.

IÂ’ll be looking up some of the other, less well-known historical figures later and IÂ’ll link to their biographies as well.

Related posts made the migration and can be found here and here and here and here. Interesting stuff if you like submarines or US Naval history, if I do say so myself.

Posted by: Ted at 09:49 AM | category: Military
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According to this site, it's possible that in the John Wayne movie Rio Grande, you can see a UFO in the background over the Duke's shoulder.

Uh-huh.

Another find from J-Walk, but I wanted to put it in the Cult Flicks category so it got it's own post with another Pulitzer-quality title.

Posted by: Ted at 09:01 AM | category: Cult Flicks
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J-Walk Blog is a nifty place to visit because he updates frequently during the day and it's often a link to something really cool.

Two recent examples:

Use your mouse to write your name in the snow. Don't worry about running out if you've got a long name, because your capacity is virtually (ahem) unlimited.

Someone's collection of unusual LP cover art. I love this kind of kitsch!

I've mentioned album covers before at Rocket Jones too.

Posted by: Ted at 08:20 AM | category: Links
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See a little of the ol' slap and tickle, Lego style. I especially like the lego dude with the camera, it adds an authentic sleazy touch.

Be warned though, the guy that did the site is seriously sick.

Posted by: Ted at 08:08 PM | category: Links
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All images courtesy of NASA and are clickable for larger versions.

The Little Joe rockets were essential to the success of the US space programs, yet very few people know about them.

There were two basic models, known appropriately enough as Little Joe I and Little Joe II. Little Joe I was designed to test the emergency escape system of the Mercury capsules that would ride atop Atlas and later Redstone rockets. Little Joe II performed the same missions for the Apollo program.

The escape system itself was simple in concept, but depended on a complex sequence of events, so inflight testing was deemed necessary. Attached to the nose of the capsule was a framework with the escape rocket mounted at the very top. The escape rocket was a small but powerful solid fuel rocket with three exhaust bells canted out at an angle so that the flames didn't hit the capsule. The rocket burned for one second. On later Apollo's, a fifth rocket was added to the escape tower that fired directly sideways to push the capsule out of the way of the rocket it had been riding. The towers also carried a jettison rocket that ejected the tower away from the capsule once the boost phase of the flight was completed and the escape system was no longer needed.

Because each flight tested different aspects of the escape system, there was no standard configuration of the Little Joe rockets beyond the basic model. Various combinations of Pollux, Castor and small Recruit solid fuel motors were clustered together to craft a specific desired flight profile, and control ranged from simple fins to movable rudder surfaces or additional helper rockets designed to impart spin or other dynamic forces during flight. Each flight of a Little Joe I rocket could be accomplished for about 1/5 the cost of an Atlas flight.

The first Little Joe I launch was to take place from Wallops Island, Virginia in August, 1959. About a half hour before the scheduled takeoff, the escape rocket unexpectedly fired and carried the capsule to an altitude of about 2000 feet. The problem was traced to an electrical transient in the system that caused a premature abort signal. Even so, the escape sequence worked almost perfectly.

In October, 1959 the first Little Joe I flight took place from Wallops. Because the Little Joe flights were numbered according to mission goals and not chronologically, the first mission was LJ-6. This flight lifted a boilerplate Mercury capsule to an altitude of 40 miles and proved that the Little Joe rockets were suitable for the test series.

The fourth Little Joe I launch tested the system at max-Q (maximum dynamic pressue) while carrying Miss Sam, a rhesus monkey*. At 9 miles altitude, the escape rocket fired and carried the capsule safely away from the rocket. Both Miss Sam and the capsule were recovered in perfect condition. In fact, at the later beach party it was agreed that the flight didn't affect the taste of the monkey meat at all (just kidding, checking to see who's paying attention).

The last of eight flights involved an actual malfunction of the Little Joe I rocket, yet the capsule was recovered in good shape. The series proved that the Mercury escape system would be effective in saving the astronaut's lives if called upon.

As for the how the rockets got their name, the original plans for the design showed four holes in a square pattern on the bottom where the booster motors would be attached. This pattern reminded the designers of the game of craps, where rolling the dice and getting a pair of dueces was called "little joe". The name stuck.

Part 2 covering the Little Joe II will be posted shortly.

Much of this material comes from Peter Alway's invaluable Rockets of the World, 3rd edition. Highly recommended.

See also Wikipedia and the Encyclopedia Astronautica for more information about the Little Joe and Mercury programs.

*Corrections: Miss Sam was the monkey who flew on the fourth Little Joe I flight. Sam, her male counterpart, made the flight on the 3rd launch of the Little Joe I. Both emerged from their test flights in fine shape, and Sam experienced 3 minutes of weightlessness at his apogee of 53 miles.

Posted by: Ted at 05:19 AM | category: Space Program
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I'm sure this has been all over the net and email, but what the heck.

(in the extended entry) more...

Posted by: Ted at 04:24 AM | category: Square Pegs
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Courtesy of the Mexican government, a comic book giving their citizens handy tips on dealing with their wanderlust and the gringos they'll encounter on the way.

I love the "translation" provided by the guys at Q&O, and they kept my blood pressure under control as well. You can probably guess what my reaction was when first hearing about this.

Posted by: Ted at 09:38 PM | category: Links
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That's Dr. Robert Goddard, and the image came from NASA's GRIN (Great Images In Nasa) site, an amazing resource for historical photos about aerospace and space.

Each image is available for downloading in several sizes and resolutions, and also have additional information about the photos.

From the site description of this photo:

Dr. Robert H. Goddard at a blackboard at Clark University in Worcester, Massachusetts, in 1924. Goddard began teaching physics in 1914 at Clark and in 1923 was named the Director of the Physical Laboratory. In 1920 the Smithsonian Institution published his seminal paper A Method for Reaching Extreme Altitudes where he asserted that rockets could be used to send payloads to the Moon. Declaring the absurdity of rockets ever reaching the Moon, the press mocked Goddard and his paper, calling him "Moon Man." To avoid further scrutiny Goddard eventually moved to New Mexico where he could conduct his research in private. Dr. Goddard, died in 1945, but was probably as responsible for the dawning of the Space Age as the Wrights were for the beginning of the Air Age. Yet his work attracted little serious attention during his lifetime. However, when the United States began to prepare for the conquest of space in the 1950's, American rocket scientists began to recognize the debt owed to the New England professor. They discovered that it was virtually impossible to construct a rocket or launch a satellite without acknowledging the work of Dr. Goddard.

Check it out, tons of history and pictures.

Posted by: Ted at 09:24 PM | category: Space Program
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