February 05, 2005
Ham and Beans
Right off, I need to mention that in our family, this has always been called "Ham and Beans", no matter what kind of meat is used. You can use cubed ham, or better yet a ham bone with some meat left on it. Sometimes I use a nice chunk of salt pork or fatback, and even thick-sliced bacon will do nicely.
Now, for the beans, you can use whatever kind you like best. For me, I prefer navy beans, though great northern beans are almost as good and in a pinch I'll use pinto beans. It's all good.
Pour the dry beans into a big bowl and cover them with lots of fresh water. You can put 'em in a strainer and run cold water over them if you want before you soak them. So, big bowl, plenty of water covering beans. Leave it alone overnight.
Next morning, drain the beans and then take a few minutes to pick through them and make sure there's no little pebbles or pieces of bean stems mixed in. It doens't happen often, but nothing sucks worse than chomping down on a rock. Flash back to your college days and pretend you're cleaning your stash.
Toss the beans into a big pot and cover with cold water again. Don't put the heat on yet, because you want all the various flavors to blend in, and that works best when everything heats together.
Chop a half onion into small pieces and throw it into the pot. Like onion? Use more or less to suit. If you want, a stalk or two of celery and/or a carrot can be chopped and tossed in with the beans. Add the meat. If it's a ham bone the meat will shred off as it cooks, anything else you can cut into bite-size pieces.
Once it's all in there, turn on the heat.
I like to add a bay leaf and a fresh sprig of thyme (be sure to fish 'em out before eating). I also add a generous amount of fresh-ground black pepper, it's hard to use too much pepper for this. Might as well throw in a pinch of salt and a couple shakes of red pepper for heat if you want. A small splash of liquid smoke has been known to make it into the pot once in a while.
Bring it to a boil, then cover, reduce the heat and simmer for hours, stirring occasionally. The longer the better. After four to six hours the beans are done enough to eat, but I like to let it go at least eight. You can remove the cover for a while or use a little cornstarch disolved in water to thicken it up if you want.
Believe me, this is one of those simple pleasures I talk about.
A good side for this is cornbread. Before baking, I like to mix a chopped green chilie (or a small can of) into the batter for a little zip.
I automatically put aside a big bowlfull for the freezer. It keeps well and makes for a nice treat on a rainy day or the perfect lunch if you're attending the opera that evening.
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09:03 PM | category: Recipes
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Couple of problems with that. According to her daughter, her mother objected to having a computer in the house.
"My mother was computer illiterate. She hated a computer," Chianumba said. "My mother wouldn't know how to turn on a computer."
Another problem is that Gertrude Walton died a month ago, at age 83.
"I believe that if music companies are going to set examples they need to do it to appropriate people and not dead people," Chianumba said. "I am pretty sure she is not going to leave Greenwood Memorial Park (where she is buried) to attend the hearing."
An RIAA spokeman said that obviously, the lawsuit would be dismissed.
That *pop* sound you hear is someone pulling their head out of their ass.
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...7,500 gates that will frame the pathways of Central Park for sixteen days. Each of the gates is sixteen feet high, secured to a heavy metal base and trailing a swath of bright saffron-colored fabric, all of which, together in the wind, will create a shimmering river of color.
A lot of folks deride these types of works, but for the most part I think they're imaginative and exhilarating. He finances them himself too, no public funding is used.
Next, Fred at The Eternal Golden Braid gives the heads up to a new dinosaur exhibit in the American Museum of Natural History, also in New York. This sounds wicked cool.
A major highlight of the exhibition will be an enormous, 700-square-foot walk-through diorama of China's Jehol Forest—the most detailed re-creation of a prehistoric environment ever attempted. Visitors will get a chance to stroll back in time through the forest as it existed 130 million years ago during the Mesozoic era and come face to face with the creatures that lived there. Considered one of the most important fossil areas in the world, the Jehol Forest, which existed in northeast China's Liaoning Province, has yielded an abundance of new discoveries, revealing a rich diversity of specimens that have been exceptionally well-preserved.For the Jehol Forest diorama, the Museum is creating multiple scientifically accurate, fleshed-out, life-size models of more than 35 different species of dinosaurs, reptiles, early birds, insects, and plants, including several species never before reconstructed, ranging from a pigeon-sized feathered Confuciusornis to a formidable six-foot-tall feathered Beipiaosaurus. The Museum is also developing several interactive computer simulations and animations, as well as a number of videos offering behind-the-scenes glimpses of fieldwork as well as a series of discussions among leading scientists currently investigating the mysteries of dinosaur biology.
After it's run in NYC, the exhibit will be appearing at the Houston Museum of Natural Science (July 2006); the California Academy of Sciences, San Francisco (October 2006); The Field Museum, Chicago (May 2007); and the North Carolina State Museum of Natural Sciences, Raleigh (December 2007).
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February 04, 2005
The Top 50 Wide Receivers in Pro Football History. Computed all scientifical and stuff too. Let the indignation and outrage commence!
Thanks to Off Wing Opinion for the pointer.
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Davis, who wrote, acted, directed and produced for the theater and Hollywood, was a central figure among black performers of the last five decades. He and [wife and actress Ruby] Dee celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary in 1998 with the publication of a dual autobiography, "In This Life Together."
He was also more than an entertainer. Ossie Davis was a civil rights activist from the earliest days, and he delivered the eulogy at the funeral of his friend Malcolm X.
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02:27 PM | category: Cult Flicks
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Thanks to Transterrestrial Musings for the pointer.
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How Ugly is Sonic Wall
This ugly:
I went to InstaPundit, and, starting at the bottom, clicked on his links and wrote down which ones were blocked by SonicWALL. Here, then, is the list, along with a few more I was able to find by clicking around from other blogs.
Two things jumped right out at me. First, that I'm linked to by Instapundit. Second, that Rocket Jones is in that list with many other well-known blogs.
Farther down, Jay explains why:
I am sure this changes from day to day, depending on what you have posted about. The problem is, dumb software like this does not distinguish between discussion of something and advocacy of it. So, if you merely talk about cults, guns, nudity, racism, gambling, pornography, weapons, or drugs, your blog will be censored.
Damn, what's left?
It's an interesting site, and well worth a look. He describes his motivation thusly:
Frankly, I think the decision of the Supreme Court of the United States in the Children's Internet Protection Act case was wrong.
It is virtually always wrong to censor information, especially in a library. But that is how the law in the United States stands at the moment and if a library accepts federal funding it must install internet filtering technology on all of its internet enabled computers.
He also provides links to more information about Internet Filters.
Gotta run, I'm working on a new series of posts about a fun-loving but misunderstood cult of nude gamblers who decide that guns are the only way to deal with a group of racist drug lords. Oh yeah, it's gonna have pornographic illustrations too, if I can draw the stick figures sexy enough.
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February 03, 2005
Direct from California -- the state that in 1986 created a task-force to promote self esteem -- comes Winokur's "Encyclopedia Neurotica," an irreverent guide to the world of neuroses, phobias and a slew of other conditions just waiting to be chronicled in the next best-selling "addiction memoir."
I don't need a book to tell me what my major malfunction is. I'm a grouch. Just ask my family.
By the way, the link on the book title goes to the Amazon page, but if you do a search there of "neurotica", the results are some rather disturbing offerings. Good thing there's a word for those folks, just so we can keep an eye on them.
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February 02, 2005
'Cept, you know, them beers get a might expensive buyin' 'em all in one batch, and it's downright embarrassing when your girlfriend's rugrats bitch about how all their friends get milk on their cereal and not tap water. But a man has got to keep his priorities straight. 'Sides, you like the little ankle-biters ok, but it ain't like they's yours, right?
So a while back, while engaged in some comfortable spectatin' with my neighbors Lee and Bobby, I got to ponderin' the situation. Spurred on by the fact that Lee can suck down the suds quicker than a dee-hydrated camel at the waterhole, I think I've come up with a solution that's so simple it's a wonder someone hasn't already made a million dollars from it.
I tried, believe me I tried. After figuring out all the angles, I wanted to get some legal advice 'cuz I was thinking that I could sell the process on TV like one of those late-nite hucksters (fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, I'll learn. Fool me four times, well, eventually).
Not knowing a real lawyer, I talked to my girlfriend's cousin's brother-in-law. He ain't exactly a lawyer, but he's got all kinds of legal knowlege on account of going to the police acadamy almost all the way through twice before getting blind drunk one weekend and getting busted for throwing a brick through the window at the local Stop'n'Shop 'cuz he was dying for pork rinds at 4am. It's a good thing the silent alarm went off, 'cuz when the cops showed up he was sitting on the floor inside, stuffing his face, and there's this puddle of blood spreading around him from almost turning hisself into a gelding trying to get through that busted window.
Anyways, he says that in his opinion, my process ain't sellable on TV. That's good for you, because instead of having to pay one of my standing-by operators $29.95, you gets it right here for free. I'll jes' have to settle for the happiness of knowin' that I helped others (and if that makes you feel bad, there's a tip jar over on the right).
So what the hell am I talking about? My process (don't "process" sound more scientific than "plan"?) is garunteed, uh, gaurentee-... my process will make sure that you have plenty of quality beer on hand all the time. Enough to keep Bobby and Lee in kick-ass suds through a weekend of NASCAR (God Bless Dale Earnhardt), and on top of all that, you'll get free beer to boot!
First up, don't tell anyone what you're doing. Wait, that ain't exactly right. What I mean is don't tell anyone what you're *really* doing. What you do want to tell your friends is that you got one of those home brewed beer setups as a gift, so you're going to try it out.
Here's where a little seed money is needed. Don't worry, it'll pay for itself in spades. Buy a couple of cases of good beer, Pabst Blue Ribbon is good enough. You also need a fifth of cheap bourbon, Ten High is cheap enough. Next, go onto eBay and get you a beer brewing kit. You don't care if the fixin's are there, what you're looking for is the biggest brewing container you can find. Around your friends, always refer to it as the "brewing vessel", it'll impress and confuse them. Also mention that you're tapping it before the next race, and they're welcome to help you sample your arts. Tell them this around Wednesday or so, on bowling night.
On Saturday, call 'em all up and let them know that you sampled the beer and wound up going to the doctor. The beer is fine, but you're allergic to the special hops that came with the kit, so you can't drink it.
Here's where you're gonna have to sell it a little bit. Your friends are gonna figure that since you can't drink it, it's just more for them, right? And if they don't drink it, you'd just throw it out, right? (that's alcohol abuse right there) What you need to make clear is that they have to bring a case of regular ol' beer with them for you to drink while they partake of your homebrew. Don't forget to mention that according to the test that came in the kit, this is some high-octane alcohol content beer too. If they express reluctance at bringing beer for you, pretend that you're sick and that you're probably going to cancel plans to watch NASCAR (God Bless Dale Earnhardt) this weekend with them. Also let them know that you let the mailman sample a glass and he offered to pay you for a gallon jug of it before he staggered off to finish his route.
The point is, lay it on thick, but don't get too elaborate. You want them to feel like a case of good beer (like Pabst) is a small price to pay for your homebrew.
Oh yeah, let 'em know that you've decided to call your beer "Saint Dale's Backstretch Brew". That alone oughta set the hook.
So everyone has agreed to bring beer for you, and now it's time for you to whip up a batch of "Saint Dale's". Take two cases of good beer (like Pabst) and pour it into the vessel. Then add about 4 drops of red food coloring, and 3 of blue. This'll darken it up some so your buds won't recognize the PBR by the color. Next add half of that bourbon to the mix and stir the whole thing up right. It'll help if you keep the vessel in a really dark room. Makes it harder to see that it's not really hooked up to anything, plus you can tell your friends that light is bad for brewing beer. Trust me, they'll nod knowingly at that.
So while watching NASCAR (God Bless Dale Earnhardt) with good friends, you can enjoy your usual fine beer while your friends get buzzed on your homebrew. They'll be happy to bring more Pabst for you each weekend as barter for your beer, payment for making more, and you can use the leftovers from the weekend to whip up another batch of "Saint Dale's Backstretch Brew". Cut back on the bourbon after the first week or two, 'cuz by then they'll be convinced that it's good stuff and you don't need to boost it as much.
Sleazy? I don't see how. I prefer to think of it as winning all around. You're getting what you want, and your friends are getting what they want. Now excuse me while I work on my secret recipe for a new product: "Dick Trickle's Hard Lemonade". Maybe, just maybe, this one will be good enough to be on TV.
Or maybe one of these on a commemorative plate. Would you buy one? Let me know, 'cuz I probably should tell Eric at Classical Values that I done stoled his picture.
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It was obvious to a Surveying Engineer that to lay out Stonehenge accurately required at least 3 observation points on the horizon. Now Salisbury Plain, where Stonehenge is located, has some good sites, high ground near the horizon, except in one direction: that of Avebury.So you need a hill, just high enough to be visible on the horizon from Stonehenge, in the close vicinity of Avebury. Finding just such a man-made hill, made as a Ziggurat from easily workeable earth, and exactly the right height, would seem to be more than just a coincidence.
Go. Read. It's cool and isn't even the main point of his post, that being archeology and ancient astronomy and history and other things I love so much. Despite what my kids say, I have no first-hand experience of those days, and 'elder statesman' only takes you so far back.
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annika is holding another haiku contest, this time inviting one and all to come and wax lyrical about the music group KISS. There are some strong entries there, go on and give it a go.
On the other side of the world, Simon announces that the New Blog Showcase is turning itself into a Carnival. I've already applied for the job of sideshow geek (and sent in a video of me biting the head off of a live chicken). Seriously though, this is an excellent way to discover some great new blogs that are just starting out.
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February 01, 2005
Ten random CD's from my collection*:
Bonnie Raitt - Nick of Time
Chicago - Night & Day
Diamond Rio - IV
Head East - Flat as a Pancake
Little Richard - Greatest Hits on Vee-Jay
Mariah Carey - Music Box
Sammy Kershaw - Politics, Religion & Her
Various Artists - Time/Life Rock Collection - 1976
Various Artists - Salsa Sensacion
ZZ Top - Deguello
I have an eclectic taste in music, plus I DJ'd for Family Dance Nights at our local American Legion for quite a while, so my collection is broad and shallow.
* No, I'm not at home, I have them listed in a spreadsheet on my iPAQ. Why? Because I'm a dork. Duuuuh.
On to part 2...
1. What is the total amount of music files on your computer? Almost none on my home PC. I rip them to CD and then delete them. My iPAQ has not quite a half a gig on a storage card, but I haven't winnowed out the crap yet, so that quantity will be going down as well.
2. The last CD you bought is: Genuine Houserockin' Music, vol. 2.
3. What is the song you last listened to before this message: Little Feat - Let It Roll. On the way to work this morning.
4: Five songs you often listen to or that mean a lot to you:
Blood, Sweat & Tears - You Make Me So Very Happy. "Our" song.
Blood, Sweat & Tears - And When I Die. To be played at my funeral.
Jim Croce - Time In A Bottle. That "drinking song" played at our wedding.
Chicago - Call On Me. My favorite Chicago song ever.
Molly Hatchet - Dreams I'll Never See (cover). The ultimate air-guitar song.
5. Who are you gonna pass this stick to (five persons and why)?
Dawn - it ain't a booty call, but if you do three quick shots of tequilla and squint real hard, you can use your imagination and make it one.
Catt - because I owe her an email and haven't forgotten and in the meantime this'll give her something to do.
Rich - hiding behind that boy-next-door face is the soul of a thrashpunk, I bet.
Rob & Big Hair - I mean, how could I not ask the keeper of the L&R Favorite 100 Guitar Players of All Time list? It's sacred. It's blasphemous. It's both!
Mookie - just 'cuz, peeps.
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Citizens United thanks Hollywood for inadvertently helping to reelect President Bush with billboard advertisements.The advertisements feature the faces of liberal Hollywood icons Ben Affleck, Chevy Chase, Whoopi Goldberg, Michael Moore, Sean Penn, Martin Sheen, and Barbara Streisand. There are two versions of the billboards "4 more years" and "W. Still President."
According to Human Events, Citizens United has purchased the use of three billboards near the Kodak Theatre, home of the Academy Awards.
Go see California Yankee for pictures of the actual billboards. LMAO.
Chris Hall is, among other things, an avid motorcyclist. Were I a biker as well (sorry, I expended my mid-life crises on crack and hookers - that's a joke for anyone at work who's reading this), I'd want to join Chris on some of his rides. Check out this article he's posted for his motorcycle club.
Kin is playing host to this week's Carnival of the Recipes. If you haven't seen this one, it's worth a perusal if'n you're gastronomically inclined. In related news, Rocket Jones will be hosting the Carnival in the near future.
We've all been there. You have a question that's just burning a hole in your mind, but dammit, there's never a negro around to ask when you need one. Glen sees a need, and fills it with his charm and good humor. That last bit is funny if you know Glen. Anyway, head on over and ask your question. G'wan, you know you wanna.
Courtesy of Matt, we get a link to a great flash animation poking fun at mustache-muffin Martha Stewart. After watching it (and catching my breath when it was over), I've decided that I might just have to watch her TV show when she gets out, just to see how prison affected her technique.
AnalogKid continues his series on self-reliance and preparations before an emergency hits. This isn't survivalist hokum, this is common sense planning that's applicable to extreme weather conditions or any other situation where the only thing you can count on is yourself. Highly recommended.
Two final quickies. No links, you can see it in the news or google it up yourself, it's all over the place.
First, the terrorists in Iraq used a young man with Down's Syndrome as a suicide bomber during the elections. The terrorists are members of Saddam's regime who've gone underground with the goal of reestablishing the old government. Anyone who thinks that America and her allies were wrong to have gone in and removed Saddam has a fucked up sense of values. Those assholes aren't insurgents or freedom fighters or resistance forces, they're terrorists who will strap explosives to a mentally handicapped child and send him off to certain death, probably assuring same by giving him a ride to the right spot, pointing out where he should go, and then remotely triggering the explosives from a safe distance away.
Second story: Girl and guy in big city get held up. Mugger has a gun. Lady gets smart-mouthed with the mugger. Mugger shoots smart-ass lady. Lady dies. Who's fault is it?
IT'S THE MUGGERS FAULT DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!!!
The lady was stupid, but that doesn't make it her fault. The gun seller, gun manufacturer and ammunition maker aren't at fault, and in fact are required to jump through massive numbers of regulatory hoops already. The mugger had a gun, but NYC has massive restrictions on guns already in place and it didn't help her. The mugger had the illegal gun. The mugger was robbing the couple. The mugger aimed his gun at the lady and pulled the trigger. More anti-gun laws doesn't make you safer, because the bad guys don't follow the law anyways! And if you think that anti-gun laws make it harder to get your hands on a handgun, you're only half right. It makes it more difficult for law-abiding citizens to obtain a handgun (I won't even get into the 2A issues here). If you think it makes it harder for a criminal to get a gun, then you are naive and not thinking it through, because I promise you that a vanishingly small percentage of criminals purchase their gun through normal, legal channels.
Aiiieeeee!!!! My head is going to explode from the stupidity of some people.
Coming soon: Ted's remake of the SciFi classic Scanners.
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