The last three trackbacks to Rocket Jones are:

Hi. My name is Shank, and I'm a pussy.

Pestilence.

YUM!

Posted by: Ted at 06:07 AM | category: Links
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1 You could probably create a whole post incorporating those terms.

On another note - I assume the whoopass jamboree is back on? I'm hopeful my Pens are going to have a good season!

Posted by: Catt at August 11, 2005 10:27 AM (uzcp9)

2 Heheh, I took the pussy out of my title, but then I got here and realized it didn't change your text. Not only am I a pussy, I'm also an idiot. WOO!

Posted by: shank at August 11, 2005 04:57 PM (jfEhX)

3 shank, it's the thought that counts.

Can you tell how much it bothers me? LOL I even proudly pointed it out to my wife.

Posted by: Ted at August 12, 2005 06:17 AM (blNMI)

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Yesterday Eric was nearing the landmark of the 1000th comment left at his place. My timing was perfect and I managed to leave that magic comment, and of course it was pithy and philosophical without being too emotionally charged.

It was also about zombies.

So head on over, check out the awesome prize I've been awarded, and leave a comment to kick-start the climb towards #2000.

Thanks, Eric.

Posted by: Ted at 06:01 AM | category: Links
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(this rant brought to you by my findings while doing some online research)

Microsoft is big and rich and evil and gets no credit for their good charitable works, because they're not doing *enough*. Besides, they're big and rich and evil.

Apple is hip and cool and stands for the common man, because they're not Microsoft.

The iPod Shuffle has a built-in battery designed to deactivate after 144 charges. The battery is charged through the USB connector, which is also how you load songs onto the Shuffle. So if you change the songs on your Shuffle, regardless of the battery status, it counts as a recharge. And you only get 144 of them.

Apple charges sixty bucks to replace the Shuffle battery, which is 35%-65% of the entire unit price, depending on the model. If Microsoft tried crap like folks would be up in arms about what a ripoff it was and how they were taking advantage of their monopoly to jack up the little people for bigger profits. You know, like Republicans do.

Yet people bend over and let Apple stick it to 'em without complaint because you *know* that Apple is cool and hip and stands up for the regular guy. Like Democrats do.

You ignore the fact that *both* sides are screwing you over.

Lemmings.

Update: Pixy did some investigating and it looks like the 144 charge claim is an unsubstantiated myth lie. So we're back to the status quo, i.e. Microsoft is still evil, Apple is still hip and cool (even though they've sucked up bigtime to U2. Ick.)

Posted by: Ted at 05:23 AM | category: SciTech
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1 Microsoft is big and rich and evil.

Apple is also big and rich and evil, but with better uniforms.

Posted by: Pixy Misa at August 12, 2005 03:15 AM (RbYVY)

2 But that 144 charges sounds like an urban myth to me. Let me take a look.

Posted by: Pixy Misa at August 12, 2005 03:17 AM (RbYVY)

3 I took a look. The only place I found that claim was on Amazon, and it seems to have been deleted from there (it still shows up in Google). It shows up on a lot of other sites that link to Amazon.

Posted by: Pixy Misa at August 13, 2005 04:07 AM (ymzzr)

4 And that's where I saw it. Nobody there called "Bull", so since it fit my preconceived notions... well, you know.

Posted by: Ted at August 13, 2005 09:21 AM (+OVgL)

5 Yeah, I'm well over 500 charges (I've had my iPod for almost two years, and charge it daily) and I've had zero battery problems. Most of the people that I've talked to about their iPods that have problems either use it heavily (12+ hours a day) or expose it to harsh conditions (extreme cold or heat.)

Posted by: Phelps at August 17, 2005 07:25 PM (8UMp8)

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Not to mention letting Moses head up the NRA. Yet another "nun gun fun" post.

(in the extended entry - safe for work) more...

Posted by: Ted at 04:56 AM | category: Square Pegs
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Guys, if you're packing to the left, try switching to the right, or vice-versa. Of course, if you're scoring plenty then you should ignore this.

Posted by: Ted at 04:22 PM | category: Square Pegs
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Remember Boulder Dash? It's still around, better than ever and it's been ported to the Pocket PC platform. Check out my latest review over at Mozongo.

Posted by: Ted at 11:23 AM | category: PDA Reviews
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We have one of those tower fans in our living room. You know the kind, with three or four little fans stacked vertically. It does a nice job, oscillates, different speeds, all that happy crap a fan does.

But they slipped up on the design. They forgot to hide its intelligence.

This thing has LED displays on the front face, at the top, where it's convenient to read. But when you set it to oscillate on low speed (arguably the most common setting), these two lights look like shining red eyes, tirelessly scanning back and forth across the room. Noting the positions of all life forms in the vicinity.

This fan has a remote control! And guess where it sits? That's right, it's brain sits under a clear plastic canopy on top of the beast. Where it can control things.

Granted, this thing is seriously limited in the amount of malevolence it can project. I mean, it's on a pedestal base. But don't let that fool you, because they've already figured out how to use remote mobile robots to recconoiter your home. Roomba? Small, cheap, dispensible. Sounds like a scout to me.

What we're seeing here is the very beginnings of the takeover. Hollywood gave us the Terminator, then T2 and T3. This fan is probably something like T1/64th. But don't let it's relative weakness lull you into a false sense of security. It wants that. And it's eyes never stop scanning.

For another few weeks, until it gets unplugged and put it up in the attic.

It's nice to air out your darkest paranoias once in a while. But if you forget to put it away again, you wind up on talk radio.

Posted by: Ted at 06:05 AM | category: Square Pegs
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Thanks to John at TexasBestGrok, here's a nifty link to posters and more from the many seasons of MST3K!

Alas, I actually own less than half of these titles.

Posted by: Ted at 05:18 AM | category: Cult Flicks
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(in the extended entry - safe for work) more...

Posted by: Ted at 04:38 AM | category: Square Pegs
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Last week some wasps decided that the crevice between my front storm door hinge and door jamb would be a dandy place to construct a nest. I grabbed the can of wasp killer (Mookie was impressed that you could aim it accurately out to twenty plus feet) and we hosed the area down pretty good, killing what were probably the insect version of the doozers.

This afternoon at work I got a phone call from the girls, letting me know that the wasps were back in force. I told them where the can of spray was and how to work it. We're not alergic to stings, so bees and such get no drama or hysterics, if they become a pest they are simply dealt with. Humans two, wasps zip.

When I got home, the front stoop was littered with dead wasp carcasses. The girls weren't kidding when they said "back in force".

A little while ago I stepped on a wasp that managed to get into the house before dying, the living room carpet being pretty good camoflage. I was barefoot and the stinger got me on the instep. I swear I heard, in a tiny little buzzing whisper, "From the depths of hell, I spit at thee."

Posted by: Ted at 08:27 PM | category: Square Pegs
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Our Skye Terrier Sam has a new scam going on. If someone's in the kitchen cooking, he'll hang out near the food and water bowls, just kind of loitering. When you go to open or close the fridge, he manages to get in the way of the door, getting whacked in the process. Then he looks up with this expectant look in his eyes and a wide smile*, trying to con you into giving him a goodie since he just got "hurt".

Freakin' ambulance-chasing begger.

*When I say Sam smiles, I mean a full human-type smile showing teeth and all. It's not a snarl or baring his teeth, because I've seen those and this isn't at all menacing. He just looks like a friendly damn dog with a big toothy grin.

Posted by: Ted at 07:49 PM | category: Square Pegs
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My apologies for the title, I couldn't resist.

I saw this over at Wizbang:

STS-114 Mission Specialist Steve Robinson transmitted the first podcast from space.

They're safely back on the ground now (in case you hadn't heard), but follow that link to get to the audio feed and/or NASA transcript.

Now, how can I get a shoutout from orbit?

Posted by: Ted at 11:30 AM | category: Space Program
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To the person who reached Rocket Jones by googling "honkies favorite TV shows":

1. Cops. I keep hoping I'll see one of my relatives.
2. Jerry Springer. Same reason.

Hope that satisfied your curiosity.

Posted by: Ted at 11:17 AM | category: Square Pegs
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No, this isn't a movie review of Midget Gangbangs #4.

Gak, would they even make such a movie? Sure they would, but that doesn't mean I'd want to watch it. Even I have standards, low as they may be.

*consulting notes*

... trigger NetNanny... done...
... quickie...

Mind out of the gutter, intrepid surfer (those faint of heart have long since clicked the back button), this supposed-to-be short post is just to let you know that reality has been hectic lately, so posting will be light for a while longer.

Of course, in blog-speak, that means there's a 75% chance of an increase in volume from the norm from me.

Coming in the near future: more about my mixed feelings about Empty Nesting, the financial education you get before setting foot on a college campus, geektech wizardry and an interesting trend in blogdom that may have touched yours truly.

Yes, it's exciting times around ol' Rocket Jones! In the words of the immortal bard:

And gentlemen in England now-a-bed

Shall think themselves accurs'd they were not here,

And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks,

Who partook of the merry company 'round Jones.

Yeah, I made that last line up. Sue me. Or pretend it's Danny DeVito reading it to you. Whatever floats yer boat.

Posted by: Ted at 05:28 AM | category: Square Pegs
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I must've slept through this part of catechism class.

(in the extended entry - safe for work) more...

Posted by: Ted at 05:14 AM | category: Square Pegs
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Disclaimer: This should in no way be taken as an endorsement by the Catholic Church on the proper method of dealing with zombies.

(in the extended entry for the bandwidth impaired - it's safe for work) more...

Posted by: Ted at 04:58 AM | category: Square Pegs
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• It's located in Staunton, Virginia.
• It was founded in 1842.
• It was ranked #22 of top American colleges by the US News & World Report.
• The student/faculty ratio is 11/1 and the average class size is 18.
• The Virginia Women's Institute for Leadership is the only all-female corps of cadets in the world.
• They have the only early college entrance program in the country specifically for gifted young women.
• They boast an excellent technical theater degree program.
• Mookie has been accepted and will be skipping her senior year of high school to attend. Classes start at the end of this month.
• Their mascot is a squirrel. (Not Foamy though, darn it).
• Here's their home page.

Posted by: Ted at 07:31 PM | category: Square Pegs
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1 Woohoo!

Way to go Mookie!

Posted by: Pixy Misa at August 05, 2005 07:36 PM (4N+SC)

2 CongRATulations, Mookie!

Posted by: Victor at August 05, 2005 09:52 PM (l+W8Z)

3 When they honor her they only honor her father and mother. Way to go Mookie, Ted and Liz!!!

Posted by: Tuning Spork at August 05, 2005 11:31 PM (O7hg0)

4 Way to go, kid! When you get to campus, fly a rocket!

Posted by: Doug Pratt at August 08, 2005 09:57 AM (D6ZyB)

5 WOW! Way to go! That's so cool!

I hope you weren't counting on that extra year for college saving purposes, of course.

Also, are you sad that she's leaving you a year early? I think, speaking as the father of a daughter, that I would be quite seriously bummed.

Posted by: RP at August 08, 2005 08:59 PM (fWrQ6)

6 Thanks, everyone for the good wishes!

Doug, the plan was for Rachael to get back from Governor's School and build her Level 1 rocket for the student certification (whatever they call it) this fall. With the revised timeline, the new plan is build probably in November over Thanksgiving break and fly over Christmas.

RP, You've given me blog fodder with your comment. Thanks!

Posted by: Ted at August 09, 2005 06:08 AM (blNMI)

7 Glad I could help, Ted. And my wife was quite impressed, too, with Mookie's accomplishments.

Posted by: RP at August 09, 2005 09:05 AM (LlPKh)

8 Guess the month away from you for Governor's School helped her make up her mind, eh? ;-)

Seriously, though, congratulations. And it's a nice drive to Staunton, especially in the fall.

Posted by: nic at August 09, 2005 05:05 PM (l+W8Z)

9 When she is ready to fly that Level 1 rocket, let me know and I'll send an H70 load for it.

Posted by: Doug Pratt at August 10, 2005 09:23 AM (D6ZyB)

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Remember during the last election when the Dramacrats were so vocal about moving to Canada if Dubya won?

Didn't happen:

Canadians can put away those extra welcome mats -- it seems Americans unhappy about the result of last November's presidential election have decided to stay at home after all.

In the days after President Bush won a second term, the number of U.S. citizens visiting Canada's main immigration Web site shot up sixfold, prompting speculation that unhappy Democrats would flock north.

But official statistics show the number of Americans actually applying to live permanently in Canada fell in the six months after the election. (emphasis mine)

Apparently they all decided to stay and whine. It certainly doesn't seem as if many decided to join the political debate in any meaningful way.

Posted by: Ted at 11:40 AM | category: Square Pegs
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When a goal is scored in hockey, a horn sounds in the arena.

Here's a page where you can download an audio file of each NHL team's goal horn. Tres cool!

Thanks to Off Wing Opinion for the link.

Posted by: Ted at 11:33 AM | category: Balls and Ice
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Over at Wizbang, Jay Tea tells the story of a family with a sewage problem. The solution to all their problems, in his opinion, could be handled by an adjacent WalMart. If, of course, they weren't such awful, uncaring, insensitive neighbors.

I was heartened to read the comments, because the response was overwhelmingly in WalMart's favor for a variety of reasons. In a later post, Paul slaps Jay down convincingly with more facts about the story.

I recently read somewhere (can't remember where) that Bill Gates and Microsoft aren't evil, although some people wish they were. That parallels the question I always ask when someone starts bashing WalMart: At what point does a company grow so big that it becomes evil?

I once asked a friend who lives in a small town what she thought about the WalMart that opened in the next town over. She was enthusiastic about it, and when I inquired about how it was affecting the local small businesses, her reply surprised me:

Screw them. When they were the only game in town they jacked up their prices and took advantage of us all because they could. Now that WalMart is here they're whining about how unfair it is. Ask me about unfair, and I'll remind you about when your choice was to pay out the butt to them or drive an hour to the city to get a decent price.

I've heard the stories about how when WalMart opens, they send armed groups of WalMart police to every house, round people up and force them to shop there. Oh wait, no I haven't. If your local businesses are closing up, it's because YOU didn't support them by shopping there. Don't blame WalMart for your decision about where to spend your money.

In the 60's it was fashionable to blast IBM (remember "fold, spindle and mutilate"?). In the 90's it was Microsoft's turn, and now the groupthink have turned their collective hatred towards WalMart. Notice how each of those companies got to where they were by doing business better than their competitors. Each achieved dominance by being better capitalists. They treat their employees rather better than average. But dammit, they're evil! They're... big! They're evil!

It's fashionable. It's stupid. Either think before you make that reflexive leap, or find a cliff first like the rest of the lemmings.

Posted by: Ted at 05:52 AM | category: Links
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