Rocket Jones

January 18, 2008

Incestuous Cannibalism (updated)

If you've ever wondered why the Libertarian party never caught on, you can get a clear picture over at Q&O. Let me explain.

A week or so ago one of the authors, Dale Franks, served on a jury where the bustee was caught smuggling over 1100 pounds of dope over the border from Mexico. Said gentleman was duly found guilty and sentenced to 10 years.

Seems pretty clear cut to me. Took a chance, did the crime, got caught, do the time.

I had no idea that that post would stir up an absolute whirlwind of batshit crazy. If you want to read the comments to that post, plus the followup posts here, here and here, it will prove to be an education.

For those not so inclined, my version reads thus (and I am *not* overstating this for effect):

A "true" libertarian wouldn't have allowed that conviction since the man was not doing anything morally wrong. He wasn't being aggressive, and no one was going to be hurt, therefore Dale Franks is personally responsible for that poor man being raped in prison for the next 10 years.
The only moral recourse for Dale Franks is to kill himself for the high crime of falsely claiming to be libertarian.
Dale Franks is also guilty of not thinking exactly like all the rest of the superior individualists who collectively call themselves libertarians.

I'm sure they'll be pleased to hear it, but after that display of utter nitwittery, there's no way in hell I would ever vote for a candidate who attracts support from that crowd.

Please note that I'm not slamming the guys at Q&O. They're a daily read, and I find them to be reasonable and interesting. They also managed to stay above the slime, despite the dreadful behavior of the swarm that descended and attempted to drag all down to their level.

Update: Dale Franks asks the question that bothered me most about the whole thing. Namely, what makes the smuggler "morally innocent"? Like Dale says, it's probably just going to stir it up again, but I think that it's an important question and needed to be asked.

Posted by: Ted at 05:47 AM | category: Politics
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January 17, 2008

New Reviews Up at Wildside Cinema

See my take on Throne of Blood. Also, I reworked my review of Onibaba into the new format, so if you didn't catch it the first time around, now's your chance.

Wildside Cinema has branched out from pure horror and exploitation movies, so drop by and check it out. The forums are fun too.

Posted by: Ted at 07:51 PM | category: Cult Flicks
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Channelling Dave Thomas

Thanks to Owlish, who's feeling a bit under the weather, to put it mildly.

Bacon.

Posted by: Ted at 06:27 PM | category: Links
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January 16, 2008

Decisions Decisions

I've been on a Japanese classic movie kick lately. I watched Rashomon last week, which is a story about four eye-witnesses to a brutal rape and murder. None of the accounts agree with each other, and in most ways are mutually exclusive. It's a very powerful look at perception.

Next up was Throne of Blood, an amazing retelling of Shakespeare's Macbeth set in fuedal Japan. This one is now on my "to buy" list.

Right now, I have Ran, another Japanese retelling of Shakespeare. This time, it's King Lear.

If you cannot deal with subtitles, then you're missing out on some amazing movies. I've probably said that before.

Or maybe I'll just forego the heavy stuff and just enjoy some mindless breastacular hixploitation fun. I've got a double feature to watch: The Pigkeeper's Daughter and Sassy Sue.

I'm sure that when the time comes, I'll do the right thing.

Posted by: Ted at 04:47 PM | category: Cult Flicks
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January 13, 2008

Someone (Special) is in the Kitchen with Dinahhhhhhh!!!

I was making mashed potatoes the other night from scratch (I don't mind instant, but real ones are a treat). I went into the fridge and grabbed the carton of half&half and noted that it was almost empty, but there might've been enough.

Potatoes done, I tossed in some butter and dumped the half&half in... damn. Way too much. So I wound up adding instant mashed potatoes to the overly soupy mash to thicken it up. Kinda defeats the purpose, you know?

I've done that twice now.

Note: for those thinking, "well, that was a waste of time" I'd suggest enjoying the idea that I'm making light of myself and ignore the fact that you did, indeed, just waste your time reading about me screwing up mashed potatoes.

Note: not to mention the above note. Or this one, for that matter.

Posted by: Ted at 09:34 AM | category: Recipes
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1 "I went into the fridge and grabbed the carton of half&half and . . . " OMG for a second there I thought you were going to say you found something . . . evil . . . in the fridge. BTW. It's NEVER a waste of time to read well-paced stories about mashed potatoes. In fact, I'd go so far as to say the media ignores them at their peril.

Posted by: dogette at January 13, 2008 09:23 AM (q/UVc)

2 You owe me about 4.5 seconds of my life back. Looks like we'll have to hook up for a P-Nats game this summer so you can pay me back. I'll bring Nic along, too, because I'm sure she'll want her time back, as well.

Posted by: Victor at January 13, 2008 06:40 PM (kLJvP)

3 Ted, If you were Irish and did that, you would have hellacious penance to pay. But then again, if you were Irish, you probably wouldn't own instant potatoes to begin with or have killed the real ones with too much cream ;-)

Posted by: Gir at January 13, 2008 09:41 PM (w6fnH)

4 Gir! How's it going?

Posted by: Ted at January 13, 2008 10:17 PM (yRolC)

5 OMG! I'm on a teleconference while reading your blog and haven't had time for lunch yet. I"M DROOLING OVER MY KEYBOARD!!!!! I want some... now!

Posted by: journey at January 16, 2008 02:55 PM (BN/Fu)

6 Heh, I've done something like that, only much bigger. College. I'm in a fraternity, it's rush week, and our chef doesn't show up [turned out, he was a binge drinking alcoholic]. The menu called for homemade mashed potatos [and we're aiming to serve 150 people or so, over 2-3 shifts]. 30 minutes before dinner, it was clear that the potatos weren't going to be done in time. So we put on a pot of water for instant mashed potatos. It's time to serve dinner, and neither set of potatos are done. We're all sleep deprived [not drunk, there were some strict rules about not drinking where the freshmen could be involved]. So, obviously, the solution was to dump both sets of potatos into the industrial mixer, let it run, and then put the resulting mixture over all 4 of the burners on the stove simultaneously. The more observant people wondered how there could be large chunks of potato, yet have a starchy, grainy feel of not quite done instant potatos. We didn't kill anyone, so we called it a qualified success.

Posted by: owlish at January 17, 2008 09:31 PM (dk0SG)

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January 12, 2008

Classical Harp

I received a new harmonica for Christmas and have been dutifully practicing. Not that it's a chore or anything, because making music - any kind of music - is fun and I've been doing it all my life. And though some people might find this video discouraging, I find it nothing but inspirational.

Thanks to Jimbo for the pointer.

Posted by: Ted at 07:58 AM | category: Links
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Sir Edmund Hillary Dies

First man to stand atop Mt. Everest, he died in hospital on Friday in Auckland, New Zealand. He was 88 years old.

Sir Edmund wrote of his and Tenzing's final push to the roof of the world: "Another few weary steps and there was nothing above us but the sky. There was no false cornice, no final pinnacle. We were standing together on the summit. There was enough space for about six people. We had conquered Everest."

They stayed about 15 minutes, taking pictures as proof, before descending again. He later greeted a fellow expedition member with the words:

Well, George, we've knocked the bastard off.

He will be given a New Zealand state funeral on January 22. Read more about this remarkable man and his equally remarkable life here (for a start).

Posted by: Ted at 07:31 AM | category: Links
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January 11, 2008

Proof Positive

God is male. We know this because boobs come in pairs.

Posted by: Ted at 04:48 PM | category: Square Pegs
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Majestic, In the Air and On the Water

I had no idea, but bald eagles are excellent swimmers:

Q. Can a Bald Eagle swim?
A. Great question. Absolutely. They are very good swimmers, and I've even seen older nestlings who can't fly yet swim. It's not uncommon for an eagle to "misjudge" and latch into a fish too heavy/large for it to fly with, so they then may swim quite a distance to shore (wouldn't want to let go of lunch now would we), drag the fish up on shore and then eat it.

This page has more swimming eagle stories, plus more links.

Posted by: Ted at 05:38 AM | category: Links
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January 10, 2008

Secret Clues to Classified Space Missions

Zoe Brain points out this interesting article about mission patches for rockets carrying classified payloads, and what can be deduced from them.

Posted by: Ted at 06:44 PM | category: Space Program
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January 08, 2008

Government, *ANY* Government, Is Not Your Friend

Alternate title: A politician is a politician is a politician...

While the Democrats try to figure out whether it's more about "change" to nominate a woman or a black man, let's not forget that Republicans can also do serious damage to our freedoms.

For instance, in California (land of Ahhhnold) there's a little plan afoot.

Title 24, California's state-mandated energy regulatory code is about to be revised to implement a requirement that will allow the state to take control of the thermostat in every new home and office in the state.

You like it a little cooler in the summer? Willing to pay for the higher electric usage? Too bad, sucka. The state now controls the amount of heating and cooling in your house (I say heating because heat pumps do both jobs). Oh, and as written, it's not just new construction, it's also any "change" to an existing home's heating and a/c system. Betcha that "change" will be defined to include annual maintenance checkups too. Any takers?

Meanwhile, all the way across the country in Massachusetts (you know, where Mitt Romney used to be guv'ner), their state-mandated universal health care plan is showing signs of being in serious trouble. After it's first year of operation, costs are running 150 million dollars above projections, and non-participants are being fined up to $1,800.00.

One year. $150,000,000 over budget.

They want you to believe that they know better than you how to spend your money.

See those QandO links for quotes and more.

Posted by: Ted at 05:29 PM | category: Links
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January 07, 2008

Too Funny Not to Pass Along

From McQ over at Q&O:

I was depressed last night so I called Lifeline.
Got a call center in Pakistan.
I told them I was suicidal.
They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.

Posted by: Ted at 07:13 PM | category: Links
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January 06, 2008

Cooking in Lingerie

Via YouTube. Not me, for those who were worried about that.

Posted by: Ted at 08:54 AM | category: Links
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January 05, 2008

Great Name

The Mets just signed outfielder Angel Pagan.

Posted by: Ted at 06:34 PM | category: Square Pegs
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Go On, Expand Your Horizons, I Dare Ya!!!

Crank it up and be prepared to dance, Benny Lava.

Posted by: Ted at 10:51 AM | category: Links
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January 03, 2008

Movie Review: Fido

Fido is a sweet, funny, heartwarming and nostalgic look at the world back in the 1950's, just after the zombies attacked.

Think of this as a cross between Night of the Living Dead and Leave It To Beaver to get a general feel for the movie. As for the look, it's reminiscent of Edward Scissorhands, although greatly toned down from the pastel hell that Ed was.

The Robinson's are the only family on their block that don't own their own zombie, and status-conscious Mrs. Robinson is bound and determined to do something about that. When she finally orders one, Timmy and the zombie (whom he names Fido) become fast friends.

Of course, even the most domesticated zombie can still be dangerous, and that's where the problems begin. Through it all, we're treated to a family becoming closer than ever thanks to love, acceptance and the undead.

Ok, that's enough dancing around the plot. Despite the fact that in a very real way this is a family movie, Fido also features some blood and mild gore. It is, after all, a movie about zombies. There are disturbing scenes and some parts of these people's lives that are genuinely scary, but it's perfectly balanced by some of the most delightful situations and funniest writing I've experienced in a long time. We actually had to stop the movie once because we were laughing our asses off.

Believe it or not, actor Billy Connolly manages to give Fido a full range of emotions and motivations, making you care for him despite the fact that he never falls out of his zombie persona.

If you've ever wanted to introduce someone to horror movies, this is about the most gentle way I can imagine. It's what the Donna Reed Show would've been like if they added all the classic horror elements, and that, my friends, is excellence. Good enough to go straight to the top of my "to buy" list.

Fido. See it. Seriously.

Posted by: Ted at 08:27 PM | category: Cult Flicks
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Happy Birthday Radar O'Reilly!

Something or other is happening in Iowa today, and that's the only thing I can think of that I might possibly care about.

Posted by: Ted at 04:54 PM | category: Square Pegs
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January 02, 2008

Thai Food

Mookie adores it, so she found a place nearby that got rave reviews and treated me to dinner. She says the food there was really, really good.

I tried several things, but I discovered that I just don't like Thai food.

Posted by: Ted at 07:16 PM | category: Square Pegs
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January 01, 2008

Thump... Thump... Thump....

I've mentioned before that Ozzie, one of our house rabbits, "thumps" with his back legs when he's not happy about something. He's thumping away right now in his cage.

Liz and daughter Robyn are in Florida to visit Mom and Dad. Apparently Ozzie is feeling neglected because nobody is in the sewing room with him. I put the stereo on in there, but he's used to Liz sitting in there where he can see her.

This is going to get old real quick.

Posted by: Ted at 07:50 PM | category: Square Pegs
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Happy New Year!

As promised yesterday, here's what you can expect from Rocket Jones for the next year (or eternity).

This one amuses me greatly, boys and girls. Expect to see it again.

Posted by: Ted at 10:43 AM | category: Square Pegs
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