September 19th is Talk Like A Pirate Day! Arrrr, ye scurvy dogs.

I be thinking of ordering one of these for meself.

Yo ho! Yo ho! A pirates life for me...

Posted by: Ted at 07:15 AM | category: Square Pegs
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An article with the background story about an exhibit called "Mexotica" consisting of incredibly rare color pinup photos taken in Mexico in the 1950's.

Link provided by the same group that located the Spider Pool (my original posts here and here).

These links not safe for work.

Posted by: Ted at 06:38 AM | category: Links
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Michael King of Rambling's Journal is signing off.

Best of luck guy, I'm gonna miss my daily visit.

Posted by: Ted at 08:56 PM | category: Links
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According to a study:

In a dramatic reversal of decades-old medical wisdom, the late Dr. Albert Rossum, director of the O'Bannon Institute For Postmortem Nutritional Studies, recommended an all-brain diet for zombies Tuesday.

The Onion has the full story.

Posted by: Ted at 04:30 PM | category: Cult Flicks
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This nifty site from the US Department of State contains translations of the US Constitution into Arabic, French, German, Italian, Japanese, Korean, Portuguese, Russian, Spanish and simplified Chinese.

Educate a foreigner, it makes a nice change of pace from bombing, exploiting, killing, invading, occupying or oppressing them.

Seriously though, there are also links to historical discussions and versions of the document, including images of George Washington's printed copy with notes he made in the margins, and their page of reference links is absolutely amazing.

Posted by: Ted at 12:11 PM | category: Links
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I'm sorry that it now costs you $180.00 every time you need to fill your gas tank, but that's the consequence of your decision to buy that oversized off-road vehicle for your daily commute on the interstate.

Just like your attempt to improve your gas milage by accellerating from zero to sixty in 6.3 weeks has a consequence - the rest of us think you're an asshole.

And get the hell out of the fast lane if you won't do at least the speed limit. Owning that monster makes you special all right, but 'special' has taken on a whole new meaning.

Posted by: Ted at 06:06 AM | category: Square Pegs
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Via Mozongo News:

Electronics Boutique will offer in store game downloads for your Series 60 or Windows Smartphone via a Bluetooth kiosk that will recognize your Bluetooth enabled cell phone and prompt you for a paid download. Free media will begin being offered in December with the paid games beginning to be offered in January . . .

Not that I'd use the service, but the idea is a natural.

Posted by: Ted at 05:48 AM | category: SciTech
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From the Ottawa Citizen (via Cream of the Crock):

That is not to say government has not failed. (Celebrities also underperformed, and Sean Penn should probably resign.)

Lots of good stuff to read at the Crock.

Posted by: Ted at 05:20 AM | category: Square Pegs
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The 20 Most Obnoxious Quotes About Hurricane Katrina.

Thanks to QandO for the pointer.

Posted by: Ted at 09:10 PM | category: Links
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Comment number 5,400 was left by Tuning Spork. No great prize to hand out this time, amigo, just my thanks to you and everyone else who's helped make Rocket Jones a fun little corner of the net.

Posted by: Ted at 08:14 PM | category: Links
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Courtesy of Professor Chris Hall, we learn that the Japanese probe Hayabusa is about 12 miles from it's targeted asteroid. The plan is to land on it, collect samples, and bring 'em back to Earth.

Follow that link for details and related links.

Posted by: Ted at 04:11 PM | category: Space Program
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Ever read a movie synopsis that really reached out and grabbed you? Here are a few that I've noted. Some I've already seen, some I haven't.

Sore Losers - They wanted meat, so they ate the flower children! Hot rod juvenile delinguents and amazons from outer space have come to Memphis to kill hippies! As it were drained directly from the big throbbing vein of super 60's sexploitation movies, Sore Losers is an acid flashback thrill ride! Move over Quentin Tarentino, they don't make 'em like this anymore!

Now movies like this piss me off because I know that after reading that awesome description, I'm going to be disappointed. I set myself up for the heartbreak every time.

Stigma - Philip M. Thomas stars as Dr. Calvin Crosse, an ex-convict doctor just out of medical school. When Dr. Crosse returns home to his small New England town to set up a medical practice, things go drastically wrong. Long ago, the sheriff (Peter H. Clue) of the town infected Dr. CrosseÂ’s wife with syphilis. The disease spread to their unborn daughter, and now an adult, and very contagious, the daughter (Josie Johnson) has been having group sex with the townÂ’s young people in order to pay the old man back for his crimes. The doctor has to treat her victims and track down the diseaseÂ’s source.

So what do you think? Convict movie? Medical drama? Crime thriller? Deviant sex expose? I'm hopeful on so many levels.

Pizza Wars - San Jose State professor Babak Sarrafan directed the comedy Pizza Wars. After freeing a genie (Elliott Peele) from a bong, brothers Cornelius (Omar Miller) and Scooter (Andy Sims) are granted the traditional three wishes. They transform the oregano in their family pizza recipe into marijuana. Business at the restaurant hits an all time high, arousing the jealousy of other pizzerias in the area that each fight back in their own unique style.

I own this one. It's odd but pretty darn funny. Kind of a modern, darker Cheech and Chong movie.

Shaker Run - With the accidental discovery of a lethal bio-agent at her research facility, Dr. Christine Ruben (Lisa Harrow) decides to double cross her own government by stealing the deadly formula to keep it out of the clutches of the military! To make her rendezvous with some confederates who promise to get her out of the country, she recruits daredevil driver Judd Pierson (Cliff Robertson) and his partner Casey Lee (Leif Garrett), who are down on their luck and take the job without knowing what they're getting into. Thus begins a wild thrill ride across scenic New Zealand with evil pursuers on the ground and in the air, and the fate of the human race in the trunk of the car.

Those evil New Zealander bastards, messing with lethal bio-agents. Good thing America had Cliff Robertson and Leif Garrett around... uh... Leif Garrett? And isn't New Zealand an island? If you wanted to get out of the country, wouldn't you want to hire a pilot instead? There'd better be some gratuitous nudity in this one, that's all I can say.

Run Virgin Run - A blacksmith in a remote mountain village services the local women to their complete satisfaction, but when he expresses his desire for a virgin they fear he will leave for the city. If they hope to keep him around they must find him a virgin.

I'm seriously thinking about a career change. Unless the virgin has a baby afterwards and it runs around bleating "da-a-a-a-a-a-d".

Graveyard Tramps - They'll love the very life out of your body! A powerful cosmic force is turning earth women into queen bees who kill men by wearing them out sexually. This wonderfully enjoyable, campy sci-fi film was called "A guilty pleasure" by Siskel and Ebert. This film is also known as "Invasion of the Bee Girls."

I was all hyped by this one, right up until the last line. Invasion of the Bee Girls? I already own it. *sigh*

It's good though!

Track of the Moon Beast - During a meteor storm, a fragment strikes Paul Carlson, burying itself deep in his skull. An unpleasant side-effect develops causing Paul to mutate into a giant reptilian monster at night and go on murderous rampages.

Don't you hate when that happens?

Angels: Hard as They Come - A band of schizo bikers meets a van of wasted hippies in a weird ghost town, and their mutual anarchy evolves into a free-form orgy. This biker movie glows with raw, primitive energy, rustic location shooting, a progressive rock score, and a group of the most unscrubbed characters you're ever likely to see. A fascinating 70's look at hippy culture vs. biker culture, the two groups seem originally destined for compatibility, with goal-less philosophy and wandering, nomadic lifestyle, but the disparity between the pacificism of the hips and impulsive, war-like misery of the alcoholic bikers soon erupts into all- out war symbolized by the rape/murder of a hippie chick. The stoned losers roll between angry despair and reckless bravado, ending in mutual impasse that reinforces their elemental hopelessness. This film powerfully discloses the disintegration of a culture that feeds on its own spiritual rootless ness. The verite camera style and the earthy realistic dialogue, along with generous doses of nudity and violence, make this a startling, disturbing ultimately haunting experience. Starring Gary Busey, Scott Glenn...

Aside from the title, which is straight out of hardcore porn, the producer obviously spent a good bit of the budget on a writer for that blurb. Or maybe he knew an aspiring writer. Or a psychology student. Anyways, get past the "angry despair and reckless bravado" and "elemental hopelessness" nonsense, and the important part to remember is naked chicks. Gary Busey's appearance here is proof positive that there was brain damage done in his helmetless motorcycle accident. And Scott Glenn? Leif Garrett must've been busy.

Inbred Rednecks - Get ready for a cockfightinÂ’, beer-drinkinÂ’, ass-whoopinÂ’ good time! This outrageous comedy is the winner of three individual awards, including Hollywood OnlineÂ’s Top Underground Film of 1998! Billy Bob, Clovis and Bubba have a dream: to strike it rich cockfighting their enormous rooster, cleverly named Bigass Rooster, across North Carolina and Tennessee. But when they defeat the villainous Monty, the enraged redneck and his bumbling thugs decide to steal Bigass, earning some quick dough and beloved revenge at once.

Enhance your viewing experience by wearing a sweaty wife-beater t-shirt and three-day stubble. Now shut yer yap and fetch me a Pabst Blue Ribbon. Yep. Fo' sho'.

Cornman - A laughable loser stumbles into a bucket of toxic waste in a cornfield and gains the ability to communicate with corn. He obtains the sidekicks and spandex necessary to become a superhero and vows to protect the corn from the evil villain Dr. Hoe. This one-armed-hoe-bad-guy enlists the aid of a giant mutant-hybrid-freak and several crappy foot soldiers in an attempt to dominate ALL THE CORN IN THE WORLD!

This probably seemed like a good idea at the time, which is why it should be shown in every school as part of the "this is why you shouldn't smoke dope" curriculum.

Drums in the Deep South - The Civil War is the battle ground for emotions and loyalties when best friends Clay Clayburn (James Craig I) and Will Denning (Guy Madison) graduate from West Point only to find themselves fighting on opposite sides of the Civil War. When two men meet each other in combat, neither knows it, as each is in an artillery position hundreds of yards from the other!

Now that's suspense. Two friends in the same general area without realizing it. Oh, be still, my heart!

Crash of the Moons - This feature-length film is culled from three episodes of the classic science fiction TV series Rocky Jones, Space Ranger. Two planets are headed for collision, and Rocky Jones and his team race to prevent the catastrophe.

"Rocky Jones"? Never heard of him before. Honest!

Warning from Space - A race of aliens shaped like giant muppet starfish have come to warn us that a rogue planet is on a collision course with earth. As the planet approaches, its gravity wreaks all sorts of havoc with weather and tides. Earth scientists join forces with the five-pointed alien visitors in hopes of saving the world.

Muppet Starfish?!?!?! Oh baby, I am so there!!! I was pleased to find that I already own this one in one of my collections, but haven't had a chance to see it yet.

Posted by: Ted at 05:45 AM | category: Cult Flicks
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1 lol! u made my morning w/these.

Posted by: michele at September 13, 2005 09:16 AM (86TKH)

2 Ah yes, Invasion of the Bee Girls. Saw that one on the late-late-late show.

Posted by: Pixy Misa at September 13, 2005 11:13 AM (QriEg)

3 Okay, moviemeister, got a trivia question for ya.

When I was about knee-high to a glassblower I saw a movie on TV starring muppets. I think the only I recognized was Kermit. It was about an evil queen with a magic scepter. A 19-yr old princess (played by a human, not a muppet) knows that she's evil and so the queen casts a spell on her making her speech unintelligble to everyone but Kermit. At one one point she sings a song that includes the line "Nime ineteen, nime ineteen" to which Kermit translates "you're nineteen, you're nineteen".

I remember that this little story gave me the creeps. I'd really like to find it. Do you know what it's called?

Posted by: Tuning Spork at September 13, 2005 06:54 PM (CqT+q)

4 Ted, you might have found 'em already...but I know you know about the Feature Films part of the Internet Moving Picture ARchive...and some of the Rocky Jones movies are listed there.

Did you really not know about Rocky Jones? I figured the name of your blog was many layers deep, and that was just one of the layers...

Posted by: Victor at September 13, 2005 08:31 PM (l+W8Z)

5 Um...maybe not. I may have been confused.

Posted by: Victor at September 13, 2005 08:52 PM (l+W8Z)

6 Here's one that seems right up your alley:
Jesus Christ, Vampire Hunter

The power of Christ impales you!

Posted by: Matt Navarre at September 14, 2005 09:31 PM (f/E40)

7 these are cool, quick where can i get them?

Posted by: jefro at September 20, 2005 10:32 PM (dMR7H)

8 Jefro, most of them can be found here:

http://www.navarre.com/prodhome.aspx?prod=Video&genre=64&plat=

You're going to have to do some digging though.

Posted by: Ted at September 21, 2005 07:59 PM (+OVgL)

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My friend Rich (owner of Verticle Force Rocketry), starts a nice little rant about that most expensive of fluids that we all use every day. No, not gas. Not coffee and not even blood. Something seemingly much more valuable...

...one name brand ink cartridge I looked at contained 19ml of ink for $35.

1ml = ~0.033814 U.S. ounces. So for $35 you're getting ~0.642 ounces of ink. That's $1.84 per milliliter or about $54.48 per ounce. Or consider the high price of gas today versus $6,973.12 9/10 per gallon for printer ink.

Rich also gives the word on "Box-wrap patent infringement", which is a new one to me. I'm pretty much a free market capitalist, but this kind of crap really gives ammunition to the "corporations are evil" nuts.

Posted by: Ted at 05:14 AM | category: Links
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A few odds and ends that I wanted to mention.

I fully expect to be undefeated after the first week of our Blogger Bowl Fantasy Football League, unless Philly kicker Akers manages fourteen field goals tonight. My team doesn't look very strong, but it was enough to whup the Houston Hot Pants all over the field.

In related news, I didn't activate the Rocket Jones Hot Jets Cheerleaders this season, but I did buy some rocket motors on Sunday for the Hot Jets rocket.

I'm very late with this announcement, but the latest edition of the Carnival of the Recipes is up, hosted by Munuviana's own Jordana. Check it out, you won't be sorry.

Three changes to the blogroll: Dawn has moved back to Caterwauling, adjust your links accordingly (you probably already have, I'm just sluggy-slow and am finally getting around to it). Secondly, Blue now has a blog and you can find him at Partial to Grey. He even spells "grey" right. Thirdly, I've added Samantha Burns to the sidebar. She's Canadian and she's interesting. Drop in and tell her that Rocket Jones sent you.

Heh. Akers just missed a field goal.

Posted by: Ted at 09:18 PM | category: Links
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According to Vincent Creel, spokesman for Biloxi, Mississippi Mayor A.J. Holloway:

"A whole new market, people who had been looking at Florida to retire, were going to come here to escape the hurricanes."

Katrina is a short-term setback. They'll be fine in the long run.

Posted by: Ted at 11:31 AM | category: Square Pegs
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...and he's tall and skinny as a rail, and he has this enormous Yosemite Sam moustache. It looked like someone had duct taped a pekinese to one end of a popsicle stick.

Posted by: Ted at 05:45 AM | category: Square Pegs
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1 You vile jerk--couldn't you have posted a spew warning? Now I have laundry to do. Dang.

;-)

--TwoDragons

Posted by: Denita TwoDragons at September 12, 2005 01:55 PM (uLpok)

2 Wouldn't it be presumptious to post my own warnings?

Glad I gotcha though. LOL

Posted by: Ted at September 12, 2005 04:03 PM (+OVgL)

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TV analyst Randy Cross said this about Denver quarterback Jake Plummer:

"Plummer is the Billy Graham of the NFL. He can make 70,000 people say 'Jesus' in unison."

LMAO

Posted by: Ted at 04:20 AM | category: Square Pegs
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I filled up yesterday after work and paid $2.99 a gallon.

This morning as I passed the gas stations on the way to the rocket launch, the prices were all $2.89 a gallon. Dang.

Posted by: Ted at 06:52 PM | category: Square Pegs
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I'm going about my normal life, but what happened on this day will never be far from my mind.

I also didn't do a specific countdown like I have the last two years. Click this link to see my previous Countdown to 9/11 images.

Have a great day.

Posted by: Ted at 07:03 AM | category: Rocketry
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I just thought of the perfect line to use next time Sears calls me:

The only reason I'd ever set foot in a Sears again is if my house is underwater and I need someplace to loot.

I'd probably preface that with a "Ma'am", 'cause I'm a gentleman like that.

Posted by: Ted at 05:14 PM | category: Square Pegs
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