May 27, 2005

All collectedly gathered together for your surfing pleasure

Got a *lot* done yesterday and finished up the evening by watching one of Misty Mundae's more recent efforts, Bite Me! Giant mutant spiders in a strip club. You know I'm loving it.

Boss: What's gotten into you?

Crystal: Spider venom, and I like it.

Consider that a mini-review and recommendation.

Speaking of clitorises... clitoris's... clitorii... what's the plural of clitoris? Oh well, doesn't matter... Speaking of female anatomy, wegglywoo points out an article that proves once again that there are always new things to discover right under our noses (ahem).

Sorry, I was up way late and up way early. Sleep deprivation makes me silly. It's a serious article though, and has some interesting implications for current surgical techniques.

Since we're navigating around the female form, it might be useful to be able to actually navigate, eh? And what better way than by sextant, especially an actual working sextant you build yourself using AOL cd's, mirrors and lego? Thanks to the Ministry for this nifty link.

Mookie picked up the soundtrack to Spamalot. Excellent. I especially enjoyed "The Song That Goes Like This". By the way, that is also one of the best home pages I've ever seen.

One Hit Wonder Central, courtesy of the Llama Butchers.

Gir has tagged me with another meme that goes on the ol' "get to it later stack", alongside the one from Elisson.

Squipper (who has a loaf of home made cinnamon-raisin bread heading her way at the speed of USPS) points out an amusing list: "Things I'd Probably Say If the Bush Administration Were Just a Weekly TV Show and I Were a Regular Viewer". In a completely non-partisan manner I'd like to mention that you can replace "Bush" with "Clinton" or even "Republican" or "Democrat" and the list would still be perfectly spot on.

(I know that contest was a long time ago and I'm just getting around to sending Cindy her prize, but I prefer to think of it this way: I take a long time to satisfy a lady.)

A while back I linked to "By Ourselves, For Ourselves" over at Random Nuclear Strikes. Basically, it's a series of practical essays on survival if the shit ever hits the fan. I consider these a must-read, and the latest installment is up.

You might not like guns, but you should understand the purpose of the 2nd Ammendment. And if you think it's terrible that the government tells you who you can or cannot marry, or what you can or cannot do in the privacy of your own home, yet you remain anti-gun, then I say you're foolish to discard the ultimate Constitutional remedy provided by the men of wisdom who designed that document. Another link from Random Nuclear Strikes.

The Everlasting Phelps has a new advertiser that sells Japanese products. I got a kick just browsing the catalog, and just might order the "Respect the Emperor, Expel the Foreign Barbarians" t-shirt.

Lynn S has been on a roll lately, with links to this page of vintage pulp Octopus covers, and this group blog called Drawn!, which is all about illustration, and which led me to By It's Cover and The Planet of Sardines.

I love the internet.

Posted by: Ted at 06:01 AM | category: Cult Flicks
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May 26, 2005

Bub could be trained to do simple tasks, but then so can the average teenager

zzbub.jpg

"All your base are belong to us."

Posted by: Ted at 06:57 AM | category: Cult Flicks
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May 20, 2005

Most every Jason I've ever known has been a jerk

Even the ones who aren't hockey mask-wearing psychopathic serial murderers. But if you want a rundown on most of the Friday the 13th franchise, you're in luck, because Pete gives his take, right down to "best killing" in each flick.

I've still got an unopened copy of the original on my shelf, a gift for Christmas.

Posted by: Ted at 04:55 AM | category: Cult Flicks
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May 14, 2005

Urkel Moments in Hollywood

What is an "Urkel Moment?"

Any time you suddenly stop and say "did I do that?" Named after the character Steve Urkel, who made a (brief) career out of doing just that in the the television sitcom Family Matters. You know, the one where the youngest TV daughter grew up to do porn movies.*

Did I do that?

I'd make bets that you've mentally asked yourself that after breaking up with someone. Any incriminating photos in your past (Dr. Laura - nsfw)?

"I'm not saying I'm gay or anything, but I would so do David Hasselhoff." from the Urban Dictionary

One night while stationed in Alabama my wife and I and another couple went to a drive-in theater we'd heard about that showed porn movies. I don't remember a thing about the movies we saw except for one item. One of the male stars was none other than David Hasselhoff. This was pre-Knight Rider days and long before Baywatch. But he was still a star, appearing as a regular and important character on the CBS soap opera The Young and the Restless. His character name? Snapper. I shit you not.

I wonder what he got paid for doing that porn movie? Definitely an Urkel moment.

Did you know that Harlan (Colonel) Sanders used to offer free fried chicken to movie crews if they'd give him walk-on bit parts? It's true, and there are several very forgettable movies in which he makes an appearance. Something I didn't realize was that the man was 6'5" tall, so he often literally stood head and shoulders above the other characters in a scene.

Probably best known as the upper and lower left corners of the original Hollywood Squares game shows, Wally Cox and Charlie Weaver each fell into doing parts in crap movies after their careers faded. Cox in particular did some really odd and disturbing work making use of his milquetoast personna.

Neil Sedaka's Urkel Moment is undoubtedly an uncredited appearance (probably the wisest thing he ever did, the uncredited part that is) in a 70's movie called Chatterbox. Here's the plot synopsis:

A young woman who works in a beauty parlor discovers that her vagina can talk, which causes her no end of trouble.

Who says Hollywood has gone to hell lately?

Titled with the subtlety of a sledgehammer, you know this one is on my "track down and see someday" list.

* The youngest daughter on Family Matters was named Jaimee Foxworth, so if you believe at all in karma, then that name doomed her to porn right from the start. Her porn star name was Crave and she starred in flicks such as "Booty Talk #20". She's since "found God" and is trying to get back into mainstream acting. And no, I've never seen any of her movies, but Google is my friend.

Posted by: Ted at 08:58 AM | category: Cult Flicks
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May 01, 2005

Bub for President


Meet Bub, star zombie from 'Day of the Dead'

Not "Dub", Bub!

Posted by: Ted at 10:45 AM | category: Cult Flicks
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