Ignore the politics-related context if it helps, but visit Wizbang and enjoy the funniest story I've read in a long long time.

Posted by: Ted at 10:29 AM | category: Links
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... but I also don't have a GMail account.

Thanks to Johno at the Ministry of Minor Perfidy for the pointer to concentrated electronic paranoia.*

*Note that paranoia about something does not automatically mean that you're wrong.

Posted by: Ted at 08:11 AM | category: SciTech
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Fifty years ago, they were dreaming about home computers...

(in the exended entry)

Thanks to both Silflay Hraka (who also has some kick-ass nursery rhymes) and Curmudgeonly & Skeptical (who may or may not be work safe on any given day). more...

Posted by: Ted at 06:10 AM | category: Links
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At least according to a new report released by scientists studying Dinocephalosaurus, a long-necked aquatic reptile that lived in what is now China some 230 million years ago.

"The long neck would allow it to approach prey without the whole body becoming visible," Olivier Rieppel of the Field Museum in Chicago, a co-author of the report, said in a telephone interview.

Which is good (for the Dinocephalosaurus, not the fish), but it may have done even better than that. Ever notice how when you try to catch or swat certain insects, they seem to know and escape at the last second, even if you sneak up on them? Some insects have organs that sense air pressure, like the wave of air that arrives a split second before the rolled up newspaper. Fish have that ability too, and water, being much more dense than air, telegraphs the pressure wave even more noticably (try it in a swimming pool or bathtub, you'll see what I mean). So how did Dinocephalosaurus solve that little problem?

Michael LaBarbera of the University of Chicago, a co-author of the report, said the rib-like bones along the side of the neck may also have played a role in hunting.

Those bones give the neck some stiffness, Rieppel explained. It could flex, but not like a snake.

According to LaBarbera, contraction of the creature's neck muscles could have rapidly straightened the neck and splayed the neck ribs outward.

That would have greatly increased the volume of the throat, allowing the animal to lunge forward in the water at prey. Ordinarily, lunging through water creates a pressure wave that a fish can sense, allowing it to flee. But the researchers said that by suddenly enlarging its throat Dinocephalosaurus could, in effect, suck in and swallow its own pressure wave, giving it the ability to strike without warning.

The original Big Gulp. Nature does some amazing things.

Posted by: Ted at 06:01 AM | category: SciTech
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The owner of the Florida Panthers professional hockey team will lose an estimated 10 million dollars by shutting down for the entire season. If they played, his losses would be somewhere around 18 million dollars.

How freaking stupid does the NHL players union have to be to not understand that there's a serious problem if the owners are better off financially with a lockout? Oh, they'll lose money all right, but they'll lose less money.

Vultures fighting over a corpse.

Posted by: Ted at 05:39 AM | category: Square Pegs
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Jump over to Flying Space Monkey Chronicles and help him reach his goal of a half-million hits by today! Now!!! Note the exclamation points!!!!! Hurry!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: Ted at 02:46 PM | category: Links
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I don't have the talent to create poetry beyond the occasional dirty limrick, so I'll link to some twisted stuff instead.

Courtesy of columnist Lincoln Spector:

Alfred, Lord Tennyson

Half a gig, half a gig,
Half a gig all spent,
Into the upgrade from hell
Went the department.
All the new features now!
All that they have sent.
Into the upgrade from hell
Went the department.

Edgar Allen Poe

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, eyes too bleary,
Over messages most eerie, errors that would not compute-
Windows, and I now must sum up, would not run or even come up,
Not a desktop would it drum up; operating system mute.
Cryptic message on my screen and in all else Windows was mute.
OS sick and most acute.

Ernest Lawrence Thayer

It looked extremely rocky for the Mudville Corp. that day;
The office suite was sour and Paint's colors all were gray.
So when Cooney needed tech support, and got that old dial tone,
He hoped that mighty Casey would be answering the phone.

But first came a recording, and he knew just what to do;
He listened to that little voice, and then pressed number Two.
That little voice returned again, and told him of his fate,
But Cooney knew just what to do and so he pressed the Eight.

Those are mere snippets, there's lots more to enjoy. In fact, click on the little "past articles" link on that page, and be prepared to laugh out loud at computer geekdom's version of Dave Barry. I especially loved his Shakespearian version of Customer Support - The Tragedy of DSL.

Posted by: Ted at 11:59 AM | category: Links
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Check out Google!

Posted by: Ted at 07:15 AM | category: Links
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While this is not even close to the scope of the CBS story, this one's been going on quite a bit longer. A group of collectors over on the alt.binaries.pictures.eroctica.vintage newsgroup have been having a grand ol' time for several years, trading old postcards and scanning girlie magazines from way back when. I visit occasionally, and contribute once in a blue moon, and you've seen some of their work here on Rocket Jones in various pinups and book covers. There's some real historical knowledge there, as well as a few inevitable trolls and nitwits.

So anyways, a while back someone got curious about a specific series of photographs taken at a location that's come to be known as the "spider pool". There's a picture (safe for work) in the extended entry, along with the rest of the story. more...

Posted by: Ted at 05:24 AM | category: History
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Victor knows how to hijack a comments section.

After annika blows off her Poetry Wednesday, Victor jumps in and declares Joe Don Baker Haiku day in her stead.

I contributed, you should too. Rumor has it there's prizes and everything. Woot!

Posted by: Ted at 04:55 AM | category: Links
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There you are on a beautiful spring day, having a picnic. Fresh air, good food, great company, and then...

(in the extended entry)
more...

Posted by: Ted at 04:53 AM | category: Square Pegs
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India has placed EDUSAT into orbit. The satellite has twelve transponders dedicated to educational programming, and will provide coverage to India's vast rural areas.

Using their Geo-synchronous Satellite Launch Vehicle (GSLV-F01 - they need serious help naming their rockets), they sucessfully boosted the satellite into orbit on Monday.

From a statement released by the Minister for Human Resource Development:

''The very fact that a dedicated satellite has been put in space for educational purposes symbolises a national resolve to spread learning across the length and breadth of this country."

Congrats India!

Posted by: Ted at 12:20 PM | category: Space Program
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It's a sad day for us Cult Cinema buffs. Film maker Russ Meyer has passed away at age 82. Best known for his trademark well-endowed female leads and plenty of nudity, his movies stand up to the cheesy test of time and are still lots of fun to watch.

Thanks Russ, I'll watch something in your honor this week.

Posted by: Ted at 11:47 AM | category: Cult Flicks
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From Spot On, via Dean Esmay:

1. Why did you start a blog?

2. Do you have a blogmother/blogfather?

3. Has it helped/hurt/had no effect on your professional life?

4. Do your 'real world' friends know that you blog?

5. Do you have a blog crush?

Leave your answers here in the comments, go to Karol's place and leave 'em in there, or post them to your place with a trackback. I'm easy.

Posted by: Ted at 06:10 AM | category: Links
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Walking may protect elderly men from dementia.

Elderly men who are sedentary or walk less than a quarter of a mile per day are nearly twice as likely to develop dementia and Alzheimer's disease compared to men who walk more than two miles per day.

Anyway, the headline made me think of this joke (in the extended entry because of indelicate language): more...

Posted by: Ted at 06:07 AM | category: Square Pegs
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Most of us remember her as Ginger from Gilligan's Island, but Tina Louise has had a decent career in Hollywood (translation: she hasn't starved for lack of acting roles, though there are rumors of a porn movie or two in her filmography).

Of course, it helps to look this good in a toga (in the extended entry). more...

Posted by: Ted at 05:34 AM | category: Cult Flicks
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1 I'm not much for redheads, but I was more partial to Ginger than MaryAnn. On a tangentially-related note, have you voted in this week's SF Babe poll at my site? It's among the Pennies and Judys from Lost in Space (both the TV and movie versions). Check back late tomorrow (or early Friday) for the next week's poll.

Posted by: JohnL at September 22, 2004 10:54 AM (Hs4rn)

2 Yes I did. The new 'bad girl' Penny got my vote.

Posted by: Ted at September 22, 2004 11:29 AM (blNMI)

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Please smite that stupid asshole Jimmy Swaggart.

Posted by: Ted at 07:16 PM | category: Links
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Indonesia is the largest Islamic nation in the world, and they've just held peaceful democratic elections. Thanks to Simon for pointing that out.

Meanwhile, in Afghanistan, there's another bunch of good news that you just don't hear about. Thanks to Winds of Change for this one.

Posted by: Ted at 09:55 AM | category: Links
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Last night I experimented with a Thai-inspired vegetable dish. Yuck!!!!

You should thank me for not posting the recipe.

Posted by: Ted at 06:05 AM | category: Recipes
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This is the funniest thing I've read in a long long time, if you follow politics via blogs. Oh lord, don't miss the comments, they're the best part!

Thanks to Q and O for pointing this one out.

Posted by: Ted at 05:14 AM | category: Links
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