That's the address to email your favorite recipes for this week's Carnival of the Recipes, and it's staying at the top of the page today, so scroll down for new posts.

Helen, something vegetarian please?

Paul, after reading about your molten-lava nuggets, I know you've got something to share.

Oorgo? Shank? You must have something involving blow torches and charred flesh of some sort.

Dortch, I know you've got to have a kick-ass brownie recipe.

I expect something cloyingly sweet from my pal Bitterman, because it's the yin to his yang, if you know what I mean.

Dawn, stick it with a freaking toothpick and send it over. I'm counting on you.

C'mon dammit. It's late, I've got to get up early in the morning, and y'all are just waiting until the last moment. All of you. I know you are.

Posted by: Ted at 11:17 PM | category: Links
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1 Ted, I can't boil water.

I've tried and tried, but cooking is just not in my genes.

Posted by: Paul at February 23, 2005 11:01 AM (vbP6L)

2 Y'all are coming through for me. Way to go!

Paul, I understand completely. Mookie can cook well enough to survive, but I tell her she's got a bright future in the Army Food Services.

Posted by: Ted at February 23, 2005 12:45 PM (blNMI)

3 Do'h! How much time is left? I can tell ya how to make a pizza without a stone if that helps!

Posted by: Tuning Spork at February 24, 2005 01:06 AM (CmmFP)

4 "Stick it with a freaking toothpick"

I have about 14 different responses to that one.

Posted by: dawn at February 25, 2005 08:13 PM (Dh1V0)

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Over at annika's.

Posted by: Ted at 01:02 PM | category: Links
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Back in April I put up a little quickie post about stripper music and the comments keep trickling in. Never one to leave off beating a dead horse, here's what we've got so far:

Feel Like Making Love - Bad Company
South City Midnight Lady - Doobie Brothers
Dreadlock Holiday - 10cc
Sharp Dressed Man -ZZTop
Come Together -The Beatles
Feel Like a Woman -Shania Twain
Welcome to Jungle - Guns N' Roses
Cut the Cake - Average White Band
Love to Love You Baby -Donna Summer
Crazy On You - Heart
Closer - Nine Inch Nails (this one was mentioned several times)
Indus - Dead Can Dance
Frankenstein - Edgar Winter Group
Rocket Queen - Guns N' Roses
Oh Bondage, Up Yours! - X-Ray Spex
The Roars Of The Masses Could Be Farts - the Minutemen.

These next few are jokes. I hope. I don't know if my universe is big enough to contain a place where these might be used:
Polka Your Brains Out - Weird Al
The William Tell Overture
Amazing Grace (with real pipes)
Don't Worry, Be Happy - Bobby Ferrin

Back to seriousness:
Sex Shooter - Apollonia 6
Nasty Girl - Vanity 6
Peach - the Neptunes
Smoking in the Boys Room - Motley Crue (I didn't know they did a cover of this, I remember the original by Brownsville Station)
Hot for Teacher - Van Halen
Cream - Prince
I Touch Myself - the Divinyls
What Kind of Love Are You On - Aerosmith
Cherry Pie - Warrant
Pour Some Sugar On Me - Def Leppard
Lick- from the movie XXX soundtrack
Sex On Wheels (remix) - Thrill Kill Cult
Erotic City - Prince
Toxic - Britney Spears
I'm Gonna Crawl - Led Zepplin (except for the intro)
Porcelain - Moby
Y'all Wanna A Single - Korn
"i like dancing to mairlyn manson songs the best"
Possum Kingdom - The Toadies
Engel - Rammstein
Stripped - Rammstein
Fire - Ohio Players (this suggestion gets a hearty "Hell Yeah" from me!)
You Shook Me All Night Long - AC/DC
Emotions in Motion - Billy Squier
Dr Feelgood - Motley Crue
Slow Ride - Foghat
The Battle of Evermore - Led Zeppelin
Britney Spears - Breathe On Me
Personal Jesus - Depeche Mode
Come Together - Aerosmith (cover)
Darling Nikki - Prince
Lap Dance - Nerd

I've stripped out most of the commentary (no pun intended), which alone is worth a quick read. We've heard from guys and ladies, both spectators and dancers, and this is nice mix of music, suitable for all occasions. Assuming of course, that having a pole dancing lovely as the entertainment is suitable for the occasion. As far as I'm concerned, they always are.

So I'll ask again, what music have you seen that really worked? What music would you like to see used?

Even better, script a five song "set" and post it in the comments.

Posted by: Ted at 12:19 PM | category: Square Pegs
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1 Hmmm. Might be nice to see some gal bring the Beach Boys' Surf's Up to life.

Yes. That would be nice!

Posted by: Tuning Spork at February 24, 2005 01:14 AM (CmmFP)

2 I cannot believe any stripper song list would not include Joe Cocker's "you can leave your hat on".

Posted by: hrod at February 25, 2005 09:53 AM (UDsyU)

3 Good choice hrod!

Posted by: Ted at February 25, 2005 10:31 AM (blNMI)

4 I have many self-made (self-help?) CDs that I like to call the "F-me" series -- f-me now, hard, slow, etc.

But I can talk stripper music, having been in quite a number of titty bars (girls appreciate hot girls too!). To this day, when I hear the following songs on the radio, I am transported back to Club Edison in Pittsburgh:

1. Cinnamon Girl -- Type O Negative
2. Alive -- Godsmack
3. From Your Mouth -- God Lives Underwater
4. Control -- Puddle of Mudd
5. Sex Type Thing -- Stone Temple Pilots

Damn. I need to go change my undies.

Posted by: dawn at February 25, 2005 08:21 PM (Dh1V0)

5 I agree with hrod. I can't believe anyone could listen to You Can Leave Your Hat On and not want to take their clothes off!

Posted by: Shawn Lea at February 25, 2005 11:08 PM (NsDTX)

6 And now a list from someone who was in the business
Here were the ones that worked best for me:
Cherry Pie- Warrant
Addicted to Love- Robert Palmer (good for pole work)
Born to Raise Hell- Motorhead
Are You Ready For the Sex Girls- Gleaming Spires
and of course
You Can Leave Your Hat On- Tom Jones

Posted by: LeeAnn at February 26, 2005 07:55 PM (vqSdN)

7 Start with tradition
David Rose - The Stripper

TonLoc - Wild Thing
Aerosmith - Sweet Emotion
Kiss - Take it off

And to finish it off with style
Alannah Myles - Black Velvet

Posted by: WV at June 22, 2005 12:45 AM (eyw/W)

8 Cherry Pie-warrant
Pour some sugar on me- def leppard
Breathe on me- Britney Spears
Smack my bitch up- prodigy
NAsty girl- nitty
Avenue d - do I look like a slut

I have an auditon for a club in about 5 days now these are my favorites so far i prolli will dance to pour some sugar on me. I love the 80's rock thing!

Posted by: pynkslip05 at June 26, 2005 09:22 PM (pO1tP)

9 From a girl these songs make me feel like dancing sexy;

Cherry Pie - Warrant
Milkshake - Kelis
Breathe On Me - Britney Spears
Stronger - Britney Spears
I Wanna Be Bad - Willa Ford
Ashlee Simpson - LaLa
Closer - NIN (agreed)
Ruberneckin' - Elvis the Paul Oakenfold remix

There's so many more but those are my favorites I guess. Thanks for the list, though. Some of these were duggested already anyways, though.

Posted by: Meg at June 27, 2005 12:11 PM (cOZap)

10 Oh and I forgot "Sexual" by Amber and "Behind Every Good Woman" by Tracy Bonham

Posted by: Meg at June 27, 2005 12:26 PM (cOZap)

11 I can't believe no one has even mentioned ZZ Top. Sure they're old farts now, but this whole scene was their image as a band. "La Grange" is probably their best stripper song.

Posted by: GT at September 13, 2005 11:14 PM (AjcNH)

12 Great. After I've already posted I see ZZ Top at the beginning of the thread...I'm an idiot

Posted by: GT at September 13, 2005 11:17 PM (AjcNH)

13 This one wasn't mentioned but deserves to be: For me this song is best for a hot lap dance. "She Rides" - Danzig

Posted by: lali at October 31, 2005 11:29 AM (M7kiy)

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How's that phrase go? What happens in ... stays in....

(in the extended entry - safe for work) more...

Posted by: Ted at 04:26 AM | category: Square Pegs
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If you've ever watched the Hercules movies on late night television, then you're familiar with Steve Reeves. It's obvious from his on-screen physique that he was a bodybuilder, but his pre-Hollywood career was phenominally successful and in fact he had to slim down and lose muscle mass to broaden his appeal to movie audiences.

Born in Montana in 1925, Reeves was strikingly handsome, personally charismatic and also blessed with the ability to quickly attain the bodybuilder's physique. To this day, his symmetry and overall looks are legendary.

Reeves began bodybuilding at 15 years of age and was always the first to admit he had a good foundation and was an "easy gainer". Within a couple of years, he was training under professional supervision in California and winning local competitions.

In 1944 he was drafted into the Army and he served for 19 months in the Asian theater, seeing action in the Philippines and being part of the initial U.S. occupation forces in Japan. During this time, he used improvised weight equipment and did rope climbing and calestetics when circumstances prevented regular workouts.

"I don't think there is one chance in 50 trillion that the particular mix of hereditary genes that formed the product we see in Steve Reeves will ever occur in combination again." -- Russ Warner, Muscle Magazine photographer

A little more than a year after his discharge from the military (and resumption of serious training), Reeves won the 1947 Mr. America contest. He was 21 years old. He went on to be a force in the bodybuilding world for several years, winning both the Mr. World and Mr. Universe titles.

And then Hollywood came calling.

At first, he was only used as impressive looking walk-on scenery in films and on television (he played a detective in Ed Wood's Jail Bait), and it wasn't until he was invited to Italy in 1959 to star as Hercules that his on-screen popularity soared. He went on to make a series of sequels and similar movies of the genre. In fact, he became so popular (quite possibly the first "action" star), that he was reportedly offered the role of James Bond in Dr. No and as the Man With No Name in A Fistful Of Dollars.

After injuring his shoulder in a chariot accident (he did his own stunts), Reeves was unable to continue serious training. He retired and bought a horse ranch. He remained a vocal critic of the use of steroids in bodybuilding, feeling that they went against the health benefits and inherent physical challenges of the sport.

The movie Gladiator was sometimes called the first "Steve Reeves type" movie to be done in decades. Some thought that Reeves should have been at least given a cameo in the film as a tribute to his groundbreaking efforts.

In May of 2000, Steve Reeves passed away on the same day that the movie Gladiator premiered. He was 74 years old, and had been diagnosed with lymphoma just six weeks previously.

Rocket Jones bondage moment Trivia: In the book Lash! The Hundred Greatest Scenes of Men Being Whipped in the Movies, ranking 7th is Reeves' flogging in Duel of the Titans and ranking 24th is his flogging in White Warrior.

White Warrior is available in the dollar bin at WalMart. It's not great, but it's not bad, and it's got Steve Reeves in it.

Posted by: Ted at 06:19 PM | category: Cult Flicks
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Foggy Mountain Breakdown by Earl Scruggs (and friends), from the self-titled album.

Toe tapping perfection.

Posted by: Ted at 06:09 AM | category: Square Pegs
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This recipe has a bit of a history. It started out as something called "spicy chicken" and using that as a starting point it evolved into this. The result is kind of a cross between General Tso's and Sweet & Sour, and it's tasty.

Then it needed a name, for although there may be a thousand dishes out there that are very similar, this one is mine. Being a blogger, what else to do but put it up for a vote? In a poll on the sidebar, Rocket Jones visitors were encouraged to vote for their favorite. The choices were:

• General Ted's Chicken


• Chicken Mo Fo


• Pineapple Firecluck


• Cho Kyo Chicken (as suggested by Tuning Spork)

And the winner was:

Chicken Mo Fo

ingredients
Sauce
2 tsp vegetable oil
3 or 4 cloves garlic, chopped
4 Tbsp green onion, chopped
3/4 cup pineapple juice
3 Tbsp chili sauce
2 Tbsp white vinegar
4 tsp sugar
1 tsp soy sauce
3 Tbsp water
1 and 1/2 tsp cornstarch

1 cup vegetable oil
2 boneless chicken breasts
1/3 cup cornstarch

1 cup diced pineapple
1 small can sliced water chestnuts

directions
Start with the sauce. Heat 2 teaspoons of vegetable oil in a medium saucepan. Saute the garlic and onion in the oil for a few moments (don't let them burn), then quickly add the pineapple juice. Stir it up, then add the chili sauce, vinegar, sugar and soy sauce. Stir until well combined.

Disolve the 1 and 1/2 teaspoons of cornstarch in 2 Tablespoons of water and add it to the sauce. Bring the mixture to a boil, stirring often, then reduce heat and simmer for 3-5 minutes or until thick and syrupy. When done, add the pineapple chunks and water chestnuts.

Heat 1 cup vegetable oil in a wok or a medium saucepan over medium heat.

While the oil heats, chop the chicken breasts into bite-size pieces. In a medium bowl, toss the chicken pieces with cornstarch until well-dusted.

Sauté the coated chicken in the hot oil, stirring occasionally, until light brown. Remove the chicken to a rack or paper towels to drain for a moment. Pour chicken into a medium bowl, add the sauce and toss well to coat chicken. Serve immediately with rice on the side.

Serves 2.

Posted by: Ted at 06:04 AM | category: Recipes
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(in the extended entry - kinda safe for work) more...

Posted by: Ted at 04:30 AM | category: Square Pegs
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I googled "Rocket Girl", and the results were better than expected, a nice mix of retro and new (in the extended entry). So what comes up when you google a variation of your site name? more...

Posted by: Ted at 05:52 PM | category: Square Pegs
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He coined the phrase "Gonzo Journalism", showed no mercy to himself or others in his chronicles, and like everything else he's done with life, he's ended it on his own terms.

Posted by: Ted at 08:16 AM | category: Square Pegs
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*yawn*

Like a troll, if you'd leave her the hell alone, she'd go away.

Posted by: Ted at 06:29 PM | category: Square Pegs
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What, I have to post something every day? Oh, fer crying out loud....

Posted by: Ted at 05:56 PM | category: Square Pegs
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The Carnival of the Recipes is coming to Rocket Jones next week. Please post your favorite recipes and let me know so I can link to it. Or, go ahead and email your recipe or link to:

recipe *dot* carnival *at* gmail *dot* com

That address is good for every Carnival, by the way. So c'mon and gimme your recipes, or I may be forced to come up with another creation like Mock Octopus Chowder.

Posted by: Ted at 11:53 AM | category: Square Pegs
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I've said it before and I'll say it again: The sexiest thing in the world is a lady wearing glasses.

Unfortunately, American cartoons never really understood that (except for Velma on Scoobie Doo). Lucky for us then, that Japanese anime stepped in and filled a need by populating their weird toon universes with plenty of bespectecled lasses. And just to prove that some people have way too much time on their hands, this site has an indexed list of female anime characters who wear glasses.

Thanks to Chizumatic for the pointer.

Posted by: Ted at 07:18 AM | category: Links
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When I got home from work today (left at lunch to get a jump on the 3 day weekend), there was some animated show on the TV. Two mice are looking for the meaning of Christmas.

I hit the mute button, but it's still playing behind me. I have no idea what the program is, nor why it's playing in February. Very odd.

Posted by: Ted at 02:47 PM | category: Square Pegs
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Q&O has posted their take on Drug Companies and the way they're treated in today's world. I agree with their views 100%, and I'll tell you why.

This week... the Food and Drug Administration holds very public hearings on potential health risks of popular prescription pain medications called Cox-2 inhibitors.

They've recently taken two of the newer meds off the market, Vioxx and another I can't remember at the moment. This leaves one Cox-2 inhibitor available, Celebrex.

My wife takes Celebrex, and has for six and a half years. It's one of the drugs she takes daily to manage her severe Fibromyalgia. We've discussed this with her doctor, and there is no good substitute for Celebrex that's available today.

So what would happen to Liz if she were forced to discontinue her use of Celebrex? Within a week she would begin to feel muscular weakness and increased fine-motor impairment. Within two weeks she probably wouldn't be able to walk without a cane. Within a month she'd no longer be able to drive, which means she could no longer work. At that point she would probably also have to return to her wheelchair.

Thirty days to be reduced to near total dependence on others.

Like anything else, there are risks involved in life. The trick is evaluating the risks vs benefits. It's not always so clear cut as in my wife's case, but given the choice between seeing my wife lead a near-normal life or protecting the small number of people who might drop dead from taking the drug, well, I'll be selfish and still sleep just fine at night.

Protect us from dangerous drugs, yes. Play nanny and never allow anything that might possibly hurt a single person, no.

I'm writing my Senators and Congressmen about this.

Update: Nic left some great information in the comments (thanks!). Also, today I read an interview where the head of Merck (who pulled Vioxx earlier this year) (I had incorrectly identified the company as Phizer, who make Celebrex and Bextra - RJ) says that you have to weigh risks and benefits (where have we heard that before?) and that Vioxx may be brought back to the market with stronger and more comprehensive warnings.

Best of all:

Advisers to the Food and Drug Administration concluded Friday the popular painkiller Celebrex poses an increased risk for heart problems but should remain on the market because the benefits outweighs the dangers.

It's not a done deal, but we're breathing easier.

Posted by: Ted at 12:03 PM | category: Links
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The Hockey Whoopass Jamboree, that is.

Too bad my Cleveland Barons got thumped by the Rochester Americans.

So in accordance with the rules, GEBIV's logo appears here. They play again tonight, so look for either a repeat of this tomorrow (boo), or a pointer to his place to admire the place of prominence the shark will enjoy on his page (yay).

Posted by: Ted at 06:10 AM | category: Links
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Numero twenty-seven-o is being hosted this week at Inside Allan's Mind (the "at" almost seems redundant, doesn't it?). Good stuff going on over there.

Rocket Jones will be bringing you the Carnival in the very near future.

Posted by: Ted at 06:02 AM | category: Recipes
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Major thanks to Brent, who gave me the heads up to this (and has more on it too).

A pair of NASA scientists told a group of space officials at a private meeting here Sunday that they have found strong evidence that life may exist today on Mars, hidden away in caves and sustained by pockets of water.

The scientists, Carol Stoker and Larry Lemke of NASAÂ’s Ames Research Center in Silicon Valley, told the group that they have submitted their findings to the journal Nature for publication in May, and their paper currently is being peer reviewed.

What Stoker and Lemke have found, according to several attendees of the private meeting, is not direct proof of life on Mars, but methane signatures and other signs of possible biological activity remarkably similar to those recently discovered in caves here on Earth.

Ok, so when they say evidence, it's not direct but inferred. I'm ok with that, because it's orders of magnitude more likely than ever discovering martian lichen or higher life forms.

Go read the article, because like Mars, there's a lot more to this story than what first meets the eye.

Posted by: Ted at 04:04 AM | category: SciTech
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The title is one of those "disclaimers" they'd use for schlock horror gore-fests in the 60's and 70's, trying to convince patrons that the movie wasn't the usual cheesy crap (it always was).

I'm using it here because of Kofi Girls, a page full of the UN's ScamMeister Meister Scammer Kofi Annan, all photoshopped out into "average hot babe".

I'll admit it. I screamed and I cried, but I couldn't tear my eyes away. And I laughed. I laughed so hard I think something tore loose inside my skull because now if I shake my head just so I can feel everything sloshing around inside there and I see a pretty little light show out of the corner of one eye.

Also, at the bottom of the page is the best bit:

UN Flag Burning Kits

Coming Soon!

Show your lack of support for the Kyoto Protocol by releasing a small amount of blue flag pollutant into the air. United Nations flag burring kits come with matches flammable accelerant and of course a powder blue United Nations flag.

Thanks to Spoons for pointing this one out (well, it was an ad on his site, which proves ads work I guess).

As an added bonus, now when people ask me if I'm all right because of my odd head shaking, I just smile and say "pretty lights".

Posted by: Ted at 09:26 AM | category: Links
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