Because Mookie buys me stuff like this for my birthday.

Glow-in-the-Dark Flesh Eating Zombies Play Set

You know I giggled like a little kid and immediately ran into the dark bathroom to see 'em glow.

It's the perfect accompaniment to the Horrified B-Movie Victims Figure Set that she got me for Christmas.

Hey, I've got a zombie *dog*! Not to mention the bathrobian zombie on the far right. I know Dogette is jealous.

Posted by: Ted at 03:11 PM | category: Cult Flicks
Comments (4) | Add Comment
Post contains 93 words, total size 1 kb.

One of the hot trends in movies lately are "grindhouse" flicks. This summer past Rodriguez and Tarantino released a new movie with that title which set off the whole grindhouse craze. Suddenly, small companies are releasing old movies and hyping them as grindhouse classics.

But you know what? If you've been paying attention to Rocket Jones movie reviews then y'all have been learning about grindhouse movies all along. Nudist camp exploitation, nunsploitation, crappy B-movies, roughies, boob-o-liscious foreign films that include Mexican horror, Italian giallo and so much more cheesy goodness.

So the next time some friend gushes about discovering "grindhouse" and how it's just so retro, tell 'em that you've been watching them for years. And that's the secret, stick with Rocket Jones and stay ahead of the pack.

Posted by: Ted at 08:44 PM | category: Cult Flicks
Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 145 words, total size 1 kb.

This week, amongst the usual great reviews over at Joe Horror, is my look at a classic, Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde, done a little differently, in the theatrical style.

Comma, comma, comma, comma, comma, chameleon...

Posted by: Ted at 05:50 AM | category: Cult Flicks
No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 46 words, total size 1 kb.

You know the drill. Over at Joe Horror, the new movie reviews are up.

This week, I give the surprising lowdown on Gojira, also known (in it's bastardized and heavily edited American version) as Godzilla.

Posted by: Ted at 05:35 AM | category: Cult Flicks
No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 39 words, total size 1 kb.

Over at Joe Horror, my review this week is of Onibaba. Classic Japanese horror, and one of the most powerful movies I've ever seen. Read the review, see the movie.

Posted by: Ted at 05:24 AM | category: Cult Flicks
No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 36 words, total size 1 kb.

Ralph Bakshi animation is either hit or miss.

Miss.

Posted by: Ted at 06:55 PM | category: Cult Flicks
Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 17 words, total size 1 kb.

This week at Joe Horror, I review Black Magic. Hong Kong film fans might enjoy this 70's-era Shaw Brothers horror film that contains, astoundingly, *no* kung fu!

Posted by: Ted at 05:08 AM | category: Cult Flicks
No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 31 words, total size 1 kb.

On August 10th, Turner Classic Movies will be showing Vincent Price movies all day long. I've already got the recorder set for classics like The Tingler, The Masque of Red Death, and The Abominable Dr. Phibes, amongst others. This is a grand opportunity to fill in some holes in my Vincent Price collection, and I'm taking full advantage.

It might be worthwhile to check out the rest of the month, as they're highlighting a star each day.

Posted by: Ted at 04:36 AM | category: Cult Flicks
Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 85 words, total size 1 kb.

Deep Red is the second half of the double feature with Silent Night, Bloody Night. It's also an Italian giallo by Dario Argento, who followed up with Susperia and Tenebre, two amazing flicks. Unlike many of his other movies though, this one has a reasonably coherent story to tell.

Oops! What's a giallo? From Wikipedia:

"Giallo" films are characterized by extended murder sequences featuring excessive bloodletting, stylish camerawork and unusual musical arrangements. The literary whodunit element is retained, but combined with modern slasher horror, while being filtered through Italy's longstanding tradition of opera and staged grand guignol drama. They also generally include liberal amounts of nudity and sex.

Gialli typically introduce strong psychological themes of madness, alienation, and paranoia.

This is a typical Dario Argento movie. It’s filled with lush colors, surreal moments, brutal murders, sudden shocks, an exceptional music score by Goblin and a storyline that is vague enough to not get in the way of the imagery that Argento is striving to project. Calling it “typical” though doesn’t make it ordinary, as if anything he did could be merely ordinary.

Marcus (David Hemmings – Blow Up) is a professional musician. Helga (Macha Meril) is a psychic who can read minds. What they have in common is that they live in the same apartment building in the city.

One evening, Helga is appearing on a panel discussing paranormal phenomenon when she detects the thoughts of a killer. Someone in the audience is radiating enough murderous hatred that Helga is quite overcome by the emotion. ItÂ’s powerful enough that she also learns who the murderer is, although she doesnÂ’t reveal that because thereÂ’s no proof beyond her psychic detection.

Later that night, the murderer goes to HelgaÂ’s apartment to permanently prevent her from revealing the truth. Marcus witnesses HelgaÂ’s brutal (understatement alert!) murder from the street below their apartments, and when he rushes upstairs he is too late to save her life. The killer has escaped, yet Marcus is certain that he saw something that positively identifies the murderer, if he can only remember what it is. Even though the police are handling the case, Marcus becomes obsessed with they mystery and starts to investigate himself, aided by pretty newspaper reporter Giana (Daria Nicolodi - Tenebre) and HelgaÂ’s fellow psychics.

The killer seems to anticipate his every move, and each time he makes progress towards solving the mystery another person who knows something important winds up dead in a savage and entertainingly gruesome way.

ItÂ’s not all murder and mystery though. Several humorous scenes involving the Gianna and Marcus are used to ease the tension, and the contrast heightens the impact of the darker moments.

YouÂ’re kept guessing right up to the end. The butler didnÂ’t do it.

The city where this all takes place is never named, other than being in Italy. The direction offers frequent moments throughout the movie where a scene is framed as a static tableau, and it lingers there until movement intrudes upon the carefully crafted still-life. At other times, the cuts are frantic and almost subliminal as multiple viewpoints flash by onscreen. The storyline is more prominent than ArgentoÂ’s next film, Susperia.

I was taken by surprise when the movie switched from English dubbing to Italian with English subtitles and back, sometimes within the same scene. What IÂ’ve since learned is that quite a bit of the movie was edited out before the English dubbing was done. This version restores much of the original film, but itÂ’s only available with subtitles because it was never dubbed in English. Apparently several versions of the source material were used because in a few scenes you can tell that the Italian is dubbed! As quirky as that was, I was able to quickly get used to it and before long I hardly noticed it.

For the most part, the acting is excellent, although the scenes where the police were involved didnÂ’t match the tone of the rest of the movie. Perhaps it was intentional, but the various cops come across as knuckle-dragging dolts. Not just ineffective police officers, but as uncouth paint-chip-eating boors. Maybe that was to give Marcus a reason to continue his personal investigation.

Damn good movie. Highly recommended.

Posted by: Ted at 05:53 AM | category: Cult Flicks
Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 724 words, total size 5 kb.

I submitted a couple of reviews to Joe Horror a while back which weren't accepted due to editorial considerations. I thought we'd worked it out, but they still haven't been posted there, so I'll post 'em here. I put effort into these things, dammit, so somebody is going to get to read them!

I picked up a stack of horror/thriller double features at the flea market a few weeks ago. They're one step up from no-name releases, but I recognized enough of the titles to take a chance on four of 'em (for about ten bucks and change).

First up is Silent Night, Bloody Night. After watching this movie and putting down my initial impressions, I did a little research on it. I discovered that it was made a full two years before the seminal Black Christmas even though both movies were released in 1974. Black Christmas is considered by some to be the original slasher flick, but this movie was actually the first to introduce the main elements of the genre.

Silent Night, Bloody Night is a low budget effort that mostly works, right up until the surprise ending. Yes, it was a surprise (to me anyway), but it really stretched my capacity for suspending disbelief. Stretched it right beyond the breaking point. The plot itself is somewhat confused, but I had no problem following the main arc of the story.

The movie opens with a nifty little point-of-view scene (shades of Halloween!) where someone uses a monkey wrench to bludgeon their way to freedom as they escape from a mental hospital.

Next, in a narrated flashback we witness old man Butler burning to death in his front yard. He set himself on fire in one of those freak fireplace accidents you hear about all too often. You havenÂ’t? Me neither. In his will, the old man left his mansion to his grandson, with the proviso that the house be left empty. Over the years, the house gained a reputation for being haunted.

Thirty years later, the house is up for sale. Nobody has lived there in accordance with the wishes of old man Butler, but a caretaker has kept the property and house in good repair. A hotshot city lawyer is in town to handle the process, and he offers it to the town council for a fraction of what it’s worth. The town council jumps at the offer for reasons that become clear later on. The lawyer and his girlfriend are staying at the house overnight, even though the council members offer to put them up in a motel. Ominously, the town’s switchboard operator offers to re-connect the telephone service to the house “just in case”.

Having that phone connected comes in handy, just not for the lawyer and his girlfriend. They get brutally hacked to death while having sex. Afterwards, the axe-wielding maniac uses the phone to place chilling calls to the members of the town council, inviting them out to the house.

The grandson himself makes an appearance and ends up accompanying the MayorÂ’s daughter (Mary Woronov) through the rest of the movie. When asked why heÂ’s selling, he simply answers that he needs the money.

The rest of the plot is your now-standard fare, as victims are isolated and killed one by one. ItÂ’s only interesting here because the slasher genre that we now know so well hadnÂ’t evolved yet, at the time of this movie it was all brand new.

The acting was pretty good all around. Woronov as the MayorÂ’s daughter has the best role in the flick. John Carradine plays one of the members of the town council and he communicates by ringing a desk clerk bell when he agrees with something that someone else said.

Ok, back to the ending that I hated so much. ItÂ’s memorable, because the whole background story about the house and the Butler family is told, accompanied by an extended flashback done in sepia-tone. The actors that appear in the flashback were all from Andy WarholÂ’s Factory. While the story told is chilling, the writers took it one step too far. Sharks are cool, sharks with frigginÂ’ laser beams on their heads is silly. You know what I mean?

The first axe murder in the movie is nicely gory, but after that most of the killing happens in darkness, making it impossible to see details. Part of the problem is the original camera work, which is strictly low-budget, but the video transfer on my copy was very poor. The movie has been released several times by different distributors and the picture quality varies among them.

The opening music to the movie was a creepy version of “Silent Night”. Done in a minor key and using unexpected dissonant chords, the song was recognizable and yet the entire feel of the music went from reverential to sinister. Very nicely done.

Silent Night, Bloody Night is kind of a missing link between 60Â’s horror and how the genre evolved into the slasher craze, and for that reason alone I think itÂ’s worth seeing.

Posted by: Ted at 05:29 AM | category: Cult Flicks
No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 859 words, total size 5 kb.

This week at Joe Horror, my review of Killer Klowns from Outer Space, and many more.

Posted by: Ted at 04:52 AM | category: Cult Flicks
No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 22 words, total size 1 kb.

I had no idea that Cheeta, the famous chimp who appeared in so many Tarzan movies in the 30's and 40's, is still alive!

He turned 75 last April.

Posted by: Ted at 11:26 AM | category: Cult Flicks
Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 35 words, total size 1 kb.

"Looking silly does not automatically make them harmless"

Thanks to Random Nuclear Strikes for the pointer.

Posted by: Ted at 05:19 AM | category: Cult Flicks
Comments (5) | Add Comment
Post contains 26 words, total size 1 kb.

This week at Joe Horror I review Addicted to Murder and Addicted to Murder II: Tainted Blood. Check 'em out, along with all the other cult flick reviews.

Posted by: Ted at 06:33 AM | category: Cult Flicks
No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 34 words, total size 1 kb.

Over at Joe Horror, this week's reviews have been posted. Check out my take on Abby (aka "The Black Exorcist") and Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama. Go on, you know you want to!

Posted by: Ted at 05:04 AM | category: Cult Flicks
No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 44 words, total size 1 kb.

Lots of good stuff this week, including my review of Jess Franco's Nightmares Come At Night.

Posted by: Ted at 06:04 AM | category: Cult Flicks
No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 30 words, total size 1 kb.

I mean, when you see quotes like this, how could I not?

One of the most profoundly artistic and important cinematic landmarks to ever grace celluloid

We're talking, of course, about Scream Queen Hot Tub Party!

Brinke Stevens (who I've talked about before here and here) is one of the five lovely ladies, and she is joined by Monique Gabrielle (Night Shift, Bachelor Party, Amazon Women on the Moon), Kelli Maroney (Fast Times at Ridgemont High, Night of the Comet, Chopping Mall), Michelle Bauer (Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama, Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers, and various bondage and hardcore flicks) and Roxanne Kernohan (Critters II, Not of This Earth, Tango & Cash). The plot is simple: the scream queens are invited to a horror movie seminar in a spooky old castle. They strip down and get into the hot tub and talk about movie scenes they've appeared in, complete with flashbacks. Simple, but boob-a-licious!

This masterpiece is available at Amazon, so just look over on the sidebar and click the little "wish list" button and buy it for me. I'll mention you in the review too, how cool is that?

Huh? No button on the sidebar? Dang, I'll add it to my to-do list... eventually.

Posted by: Ted at 10:26 AM | category: Cult Flicks
Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 214 words, total size 2 kb.

I started this latest series of reviews with four movies in mind. Here are links for the reviews of The Descent, Ginger Snaps, and Dog Soldiers. The fourth movie I had in mind is probably the least mainstream of the group, but I'm going to hold off on that one and offer up this bonus review of a flick I watched just this week.

Night Watch (Nochnoy Dozor) (2006)

Tvarich, you must see this movie.

Set in modern day Moscow, we are witnessing the prophesied culmination of a millenium-old power struggle between the forces of light and the forces of darkness.

Notice that I did not say "good" vs. "evil". This is the first film in a trilogy that has a scope reminiscent of The Lord of the Rings.

Ages ago two armies met in battle. The slaughter was terrible, and it became apparent to the two leaders that they were perfectly and evenly matched. The leaders halted the battle to prevent further useless killing and forged an uneasy truce between them.

Still living among humans today are Others, people with extraordinary powers and abilities. They never know what they are until they are called upon by circumstances to be more than human. Once they discover themselves, they must freely choose to join one side or the other. Either dark, or light.

Some of those who control the daytime are designated as Night Watch, to maintain the truce and prevent the forces of darkness from running out of control. If a vampire wishes to take a victim, the Night Watch must approve else the forces of darkness could raise an army of vampires in a short time. There are many other such checks in play that keep the two sides in delicate balance.

At some point, a supremely powerful Other will appear and will change sides, thus disrupting the balance and allowing one side to sweep the field and be finally victorious. The prophecy says that the forces of darkness will ultimately prevail.

Sounds sexy, eh? Guess what? That's all background!

The story revolves around Anton, one of the Night Watch. We see how he discovers that he's an Other, and how small events over a period of years build up to the fulfillment of the prophecy.

I'm not going to give up any more of the plot, but I will talk about the film. It's left up in the air about whether the forces of light are any less evil than the forces of night. Put another way, the film leads you to believe that neither side is necessarily better, rather, they are just different from each other. If the dark forces seem sinister, it's only because of our human perceptions. Old legends more often attribute darkness with bad.

There are a multitude of language options on the disk, including hearing it in the original Russian with English subtitles. The English dubbed version is done really well, so you don't have to feel obligated to read subtitles. I still recommend that you do though, and to be prepared to enjoy a few little surprises.

The visuals are stunning, as are most of the special effects. Some of the scenes are uncomfortably gory. I find it odd that the effect of seeing thousands of warriors being brutally cut to pieces in battle is somehow less disturbing than a scene where two individuals are using scissors as weapons. Human nature, I suppose, and that ability for large-scale rationalization may lie at the bottom of some of mankind's less shining moments.

Even for a horror movie, some of the character's actions seem unreal. More than once I was reminded that these people aren't American or Westernized. What feels natural to a Russian in a given situation may strike you as odd, but the occasional cultural dischords don't detract from the story. If anything, they add to the underlying tension.

If you're confused, the ending nicely recaps all that had gone before, as seen through the filter of understanding how each step ultimately led to the finale. Brilliantly too.

So, to sum up: Night Watch is the first movie in an epic trilogy that takes place in a darker, more sinister universe. If that concept appeals to you, then I highly recommend this movie.

Posted by: Ted at 10:10 PM | category: Cult Flicks
Comments (4) | Add Comment
Post contains 721 words, total size 4 kb.

We're way overdue for a Rocket Jones bondage post.

Lovely ladies from the silver screen, mostly in shackles or cuffs.

I suppose I could add a "bondage" category. What say ye?

Posted by: Ted at 11:33 AM | category: Cult Flicks
Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 39 words, total size 1 kb.

We're way overdue for a Rocket Jones bondage post.

Lovely ladies from the silver screen, mostly in shackles or cuffs.

I suppose I could add a "bondage" category. What say ye?

Posted by: Ted at 11:33 AM | category: Cult Flicks
Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 45 words, total size 1 kb.