I've been doing a slow burn over the sheer stupidity demonstrated by recent events. Durbin (no honoriffic for that asswipe) ignoring the worldwide impact his slur upon our American troops has inflicted, just to score a cheap political shot against the administration, followed by the flag burning amendment, to the manufactured outrage by Democrats over Rove quoting from a Dem fundraising organization, to our (you didn't read that "our" with enough sarcasm, go back and try again) Supreme Court deciding that owning property doesn't really mean you own it if someone else with more money wants it.* I've fucking had it.

Right up until I read this article about a Russian woman suing NASA over an upcoming scientific space mission.

When NASA's Deep Impact spacecraft hurls a barrel-size probe at a comet millions of miles from Earth on July 4, Marina Bai of Moscow will take it very personally.

The 45-year-old mother of two is so upset about the space agency's scientific assault on the celestial body that she has taken the unusual step of suing NASA in Moscow courts. Her lawsuit seeks to block the launch of the probe and to recover $311 million in "moral" damages.

Bai, a self-published author and spiritualist, said that she couldn't sleep after watching a television report about the Deep Impact mission, which is led by a team of astronomers at the University of Maryland, when it was launched Jan. 12.

"Somewhere deep inside me a voice told me the whole mission had to be stopped," she said in an interview yesterday. "I fear that it could have an impact on all humanity."

In court papers, Bai asserts that Deep Impact will "infringe upon my system of spiritual and life values, in particular on the values of every element of creation, upon the unacceptability of barbarically interfering with the natural life of the universe, and the violation of the natural balance of the universe."

Dolores Beasley, a spokeswoman for NASA, said it would be "inappropriate" to comment.

"Inappropriate" is NASA legal-speak for ROFLMAO.

And what the fuck are "moral" damages?

But Bai fears the bombardment could disrupt mystical forces. More practically, she added, it might create an open season on celestial objects by the world's spacefaring nations.

"If the Americans can study comets with the help of bombs, why not the Chinese?" she asked. "Americans want to be ahead of everybody. And maybe that's good, but not in this case. It's a barbaric method, to study the universe with bombs."

I'm not entirely certain, but I don't think the probe is an actual bomb. I thought it was just an impactor that would achieve its effect by kinetic energy.

"It's a barbaric method, to study the universe with bombs"

We'll never live up to those paragons of finesse and restraint, the Russians.

I don't care how long the line is Ms. Bai, stand in it and get another roll of tin foil. Your hat is obviously not thick enough.

*And for those proclaiming that this is a victory for WalMart, as if they're the main evil in the world, shut the fuck up and open your eyes. This isn't WalMart's doing, and nobody is going to steal your home to build another one. This is about developers putting up resorts and business parks and convention centers.

Posted by: Ted at 06:09 AM | category: Square Pegs
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We had a wickedcool thunderstorm blow through the other night.

My most comfortable pair of work shoes squeak.

Those two items are totally unrelated, but that's not really the reason for this post, now is it?

Posted by: Ted at 05:51 AM | category: Square Pegs
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The Munuvian blogroll has grown yet again. Give a hearty "Yay!" and "Welcome" to the new cool kids on the block.

Owlish Mutterings
Mr. Babylon
Confederate Yankee
Country Pundit
Knockin' on the Golden Door
Mark Nicodemo
Dagney's Rant
The Gray Monk

Also, I'd forgotten to include one of the last batch of Munuvians. My apologies to Miasmatic Review, and welcome to the blogroll.

Posted by: Ted at 04:17 AM | category: Links
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1 Thank you, don't worry. I'm used to being forgoten.

Posted by: Contagion at June 24, 2005 01:32 PM (Q5WxB)

2 Yikes! I haven't even updated from the last batch yet! I really should consider switching to the automagic blogroll.

Posted by: Tuning Spork at June 25, 2005 05:28 PM (c4k0Z)

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I watched that documentary called Real Genius and saw where we could incinerate a person from orbit. Now they claim we're just developing it? No way man.

Seriously though, check out this priceless bit where the mouth breathers manage to go from solar sail powered spacecraft to...

"a military weapon, capable of destroying cities and incinerating armies in the battlefield from space."

...in several tortured leaps of logic (I half expect Spock himself to come back through time to apply the Vulcan Bitch Slap on me for even using the term "logic" here).

Best $4 million dollars we ever spent, eh? Which is, what, a fraction of what we pay for each cruise missile? Hell, for the cost of the free school lunch program, we could blanket the heavens with enough little magic mirrors (my suggested euphemism for "orbital based death ray platforms") to keep America's rich and powerful rich and powerful forever!

Halliburton!!!!

Thanks to Rand Simberg (who may have to disappear after leaking this smoking gun (yes, I torture lots of things, including metaphores, it's the conservative in me)).

Posted by: Ted at 11:45 AM | category: Square Pegs
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The kids are in awe of me now that I've decided to take a public stand about things...

Prunes are hella good.

...even when they don't agree with me. Not only do they not think that prunes are yummy, they claim that I am not allowed to say "hella" anything.

Posted by: Ted at 05:06 AM | category: Square Pegs
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1 I call bullshit on the kids, Ted. You can say hella all you want. You are only as old as you think you are. Besides, copping popular teenage vernacular as situations indicate is a hella good way of embarassing the twerps in public ;>).

Posted by: bitterman at June 23, 2005 10:33 AM (94VhM)

2 Peas? Prunes? um...eww.

Posted by: Derek at June 23, 2005 11:16 AM (wEVXE)

3 I refuse to be politically correct and call them "dried plums". Don't like 'em? More for me.

Posted by: Ted at June 23, 2005 12:37 PM (blNMI)

4 I've been giving my kid prune juice added to his apple juice (to keep him regular), I took a swig of the stuff straight the other day... gak. That my friend is the taste of supper coming back up.

Prunes dried kick friggin' ass tho.

Posted by: Oorgo at June 23, 2005 01:30 PM (lM0qs)

5 Yumm, prunes in yoghurt ! (with a handful of almonds just for the crunch.)

Oh, and I thought the prunes have the pits in them, pitted plums are easy on our geezerly old teeth.

Posted by: Ted K at June 23, 2005 09:33 PM (IivaW)

6 You have to listen to a wonderful commercial Stan Freberg made for the Sunsweet company back in the early Sixties. I'll send you an mp3; I bought the "Tip of the Freberg" set for myself for Christmas last year.

"Today, the pits...tomorrow, the wrinkles!"

Posted by: Doug Pratt at June 24, 2005 10:21 AM (D6ZyB)

7 It is the PEAS support of PRUNES in the Middle East that cause the LIMA BEANS to hate us!

PRUNES occupy land rightfully belonging to LIMA BEANS!

PRUNISM = FASCISM!

Posted by: Rob@L&R at June 24, 2005 02:24 PM (SsaPg)

8 Next time try it like this:
"Prunes are hella yummy...bitch."

Just a suggestion.

Posted by: shank at June 24, 2005 06:42 PM (jfEhX)

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From the "Naughty Places" category: EroticZipai.

"Zipai" is a Chinese term to mean pictures of a person taken by one's self. Sort of another way to say self-portrait except it's only in the form of photographes. The web is full of such pictures because many young girls love to showcase themselves in such manner. Zipai's don't have to be erotic but most of the ones you see on this site is. This site also features some voyeurism and amateur pictures.

Not safe for work.

Posted by: Ted at 04:43 AM | category: Links
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From Dale Franks at Q & O, a very nice presentation of military insignia, selectable by branch of service.

Posted by: Ted at 04:33 AM | category: Military
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Forsooth, in the joy that reacheth my very bodkin, I misremembered to add thy Witch with the majick fob to the roster of bards on thy right.

All is right with my world again.

Posted by: Ted at 06:28 PM | category: Links
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Real life Dilbertisms.

My favorite:

"We know that communication is a problem, but the company is not going to discuss it with the employees."

Thanks to Simon for the pointer.

Posted by: Ted at 11:58 AM | category: Links
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The converted Soviet ballistic missile that was to carry the solar sail spacecraft into orbit failed 83 seconds after launch.

Why the submarine launch? What was the advantage or benefit?

Posted by: Ted at 06:09 AM | category: Space Program
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The Willard Hotel in Washington D.C. is major posh, so you can imagine what kind of celebration they'd put on for the 4th of July.

Cocktails and hors d'oeuvres in a luxury suite before departing for a Potomac River cruise aboard the former Presidential Yacht Sequoia to watch the National Fireworks show.

While on board, partake of a gourmet buffet, open bar and champagne, music and dancing.

Back at the hotel, overnight accomodations with breakfast included. Of course, valet parking is part of the package.

Don't forget the keepsake gift.

And an evening like this will run you $1,750 per couple, not counting gratuities. Personally, I think it'd be worth it for a once in a lifetime experience like that.

Posted by: Ted at 04:58 AM | category: Links
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The Phipps clan will be there, as will Rob and Big Hair from Left&Right. Nic and Victor have rizvipped. Who else want's to join us for an evening of beer, baseball and conversation?

I'll have to remember to wear my cup.

We're meeting at 6pm in front of the box office. Email me for cell phone numbers.

Posted by: Ted at 06:17 PM | category: Links
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Apparently they're all working for Formula 1 racing.

Sheesh.

Posted by: Ted at 05:49 PM | category: Links
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Launch set for solar sail spacecraft. Solar sails catch the stellar 'wind' coming from our sun for propulsion, much like a sail works on watercraft. Because the solar wind is so much less dense than wind, the corresponding sail area must be much greater. Fortunately, the microgravity present in space means that the sail can be much thinner as well.

So the spacecraft will use a naturally occurring, non-consumable resource to move. Whatever will the environmentalists have to complain about?

If all goes as planned, Cosmos 1 was to be launched early Tuesday afternoon, California time, and carried into Earth's orbit by a converted intercontinental ballistic missile...

Oh. Ok.

Posted by: Ted at 12:10 PM | category: Space Program
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VW Bug of One Happy Dog Speaks is having a bit of a formatting problem with her banner in some browsers, and as Munuvians do she posted her questions on our group blog. In the course of the conversation I mentioned Madfish Willie's excellent banner rotation script and some tweaking I did to allow it to handle banners of different sizes. Rather than try to describe it so that everyone could understand, I'll just post the changes here and go through it step by step.

(in the extended entry) more...

Posted by: Ted at 06:06 AM | category: Build It
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Someone was kind enough to scan and post a whole heap of Players Cigarette cards. This particular set of 85 cards is of Actresses, and were released during the late 1930's (from clues like "her latest film was...").

I'll post one of these every once in a while, with a couple of simple links to IMDB.com or a bio if I can find one. You might be surpirsed at some of the familiar names you'll see. The category is "Star Cards" (over on the right column), and you can click there at any time to see all that I've posted. Hope you enjoy.

(in the extended entry) more...

Posted by: Ted at 05:42 AM | category: Star Cards
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In regards to the lack of exposure to classic cinema for my daughters. They can now both say that they have seen Young Frankenstein. They laughed, they cried (Robyn still has her stitches), they enjoyed it.

Posted by: Ted at 04:18 AM | category: Square Pegs
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I've always been, in the vernacular, a linker rather than a thinker. Proud of my place in the grand scheme of things, even when called that less than complimentary term: link whore. If the shoe fits, as they say.

But what does bother me is the idea that I might be the blogging equivalent of People magazine. Somewhere, some tech-savvy blogger takes his laptop into the john and calls up Rocket Jones while he sits upon the throne, because like the aforementioned dead tree rag, my public writings are short, shallow, insipid (or all three) enough to indulge in during the length of an average crap (to paraphrase a great movie line).

I'll never be exclusively a thinker, but in order to add some variety to my normal blogging, I'm toying with the idea of posting more opinion pieces. So, to kick things off, I'd like to say:

Peas. I like them.

A little mental fiber to go along with the flake.

Posted by: Ted at 05:32 PM | category: Square Pegs
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1 woohoo, way to take a stand Ted!

Posted by: Eric at June 20, 2005 10:54 PM (xJTbs)

2 Sure, it starts out polite enough, but in a few minutes this harmless looking "peas" topic will be a major brawl. I've seen it before.

Posted by: dogette at June 21, 2005 10:20 AM (W05E+)

3 Since this is my site, I reserve the right to ban those pushy succotash gangbangers any time I want.

Posted by: Ted at June 21, 2005 11:42 AM (blNMI)

4 Peas stole the election!

Peas started an illegal war for vegetable OIL to enrich their carrot cronies at Del Monte!

Peas went AWOL from the Vegetable National Guard!

PEAS LIED! LIMA BEANS DIED!

Posted by: Rob@L&R at June 21, 2005 01:45 PM (SsaPg)

5 Peas are ok, but Lima Beans are disgusting.

Always willing to do my bit to encourage enlightened discourse.

Posted by: owlish at June 22, 2005 12:32 PM (QqkkN)

6 Well, I must chime in here t'say that you're links are kewl, always. But, t'tell ya the truth, the real highlights, fer me, are when you do actually spout off an opinion piece.

More opinion and actress Star Cards posts, please!

Posted by: Tuning Spork at June 22, 2005 11:02 PM (Odjy8)

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Over at Dynamo Buzz (your source for all political Joisey things), I found a pointer to news that in February next year, there will be an outdoor hockey game at Lambeau Field, home of the NFL Green Bay Packers. The matchup will feature the University of Wisconsin and Ohio State. Roberto's got more details and a link.

Be there, or be warm.

Posted by: Ted at 04:59 PM | category: Links
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Cookies Without A Name*

These cookies were brought in to my wife's work one day, and she liked them so much that she not only got the recipe, but she then stopped on the way home to get the ingredients.

You need a couple of mini-muffin pans to make these. They're worth getting if you don't already have them, and then you can make Madeleines too!

ingredients
2 eggs
1/4 cup water
1/4 cup oil
1/2 tsp vanilla extract
1 pkg yellow cake mix
1 cup creamy peanut butter
2 (13oz) pkg miniature peanut butter cups

directions
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.

Whisk together the eggs, water, oil and vanilla until good and frothy. Stir in the cake mix and peanut butter until well blended.

Drop by teaspoonfuls into paper-lined mini-muffin cups, you want each cup about 3/4 full.

Bake for 10-12 minutes, until just lightly browned. While they're baking, start unwrapping the peanut butter candy. Remove the foil and the paper cups they come in.

When you take the cookies out of the oven, immediately press a peanut butter cup into the center of each cookie. Let them cool in the pans on a wire rack for 10 minutes before carefully removing them to finish cooling. After removing from the pans, you can also put the cookies into the fridge for 15 minutes to help the chocolate to re-set.

Makes 5-6 dozen.

*The recipe my wife brought home calls these the uninspired and misleading "Chocolate Peanut Butter Cups". So it's time to exercise your creativity by giving these cookies a worthy name. I'm soliciting suggested names in the comments, and then I'll put a poll up on the sidebar so that everyone can vote on their favorite.

Posted by: Ted at 05:58 AM | category: Recipes
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