July 31, 2005

Idiot's Guide to the NHL Lockout

I love it! Courtesy of ESPN, here's an excerpt:

One more thing: They moved the nets closer to the boards and changed it so goalies can only play the puck within a 28-foot, trapezoidal area behind the net that extends 6 feet from either goal post. If you skate beyond that area, it's an automatic two-minute penalty, which will be fun if only to hear what they call the penalty. Two minutes for trapezoidal desertion?

(Confused? So am I. They should have gone with Plan B -- tying the goalie to the net with a 10-foot chain, almost like how you would tie up your pet rottweiler outside. Wouldn't that be fun to see goalies occasionally forgetting about the chain, skating towards an errant puck, then cruelly getting yanked backward when the chain extends too far? Plus, they could potentially get caught up in the chain, or use it to trip other players Â… really, I see no downside here. Although it will be loads of fun to hear Barry Melrose pronounce the word "Trapezoid.")

The entire article is hilarious and still manages to peg the issues. Kudos to The Hockey Pundits for the pointer.

Posted by: Ted at 08:50 AM | category: Balls and Ice
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1 Why isn't this guy the commisioner of Hockey?

Posted by: GEBIV at July 31, 2005 10:12 PM (+5diw)

2 Trapezoid be damned, I'm skating all over the friggin' ice.

Posted by: Derek at August 01, 2005 12:20 AM (SB0gO)

3 Because his long-term plans don't include a Hockeyland theme park in California or somewhere warm, where parents can take their children to watch muppets sing about teamwork and successful scoring.

Posted by: Brian J. at August 01, 2005 12:22 AM (V04ml)

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