Janet Leigh

Best known as the woman stabbed to death in Psycho's infamous shower scene, actress Janet Leigh has passed away at age 77.

Besides that signature role, she had a long and distinguished career, starring in movies with leading men such as Van Johnson, Van Heflin, Robert Mitchum, James Stewart, Martin and Lewis, John Wayne, Dick Van Dyke, Victor Mature, and Tony Curtis.

Thank you Ms. Leigh.

You can get the "Mad Mother Shower Curtain" here. I always wanted one of those.

Posted by: Ted at 12:00 PM | category: Cult Flicks
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Frankenfish, the movie

You may recall the ongoing hullabaloo about Snakehead fish in the mid-Atlantic states. It's mean, tough and voracious, with the ability to scour small ponds free of other life.

Sounds like a bad movie, right?

Thanks to the SciFi Channel, now it is. I just saw a preview where the Snakeheads not only survive, but "move up a few rungs on the food ladder". They're still mean, tough and voracious, but now they're also twenty feet long.

You know I'm gonna be watching.

Posted by: Ted at 09:39 PM | category: Cult Flicks
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Television of my childhood

I saw a commercial late last night about the Action network showing episodes of the old Irwin Allen series Time Tunnel.

This is another of those series I remember watching with my dad, along with Combat, Bonanza, and The Rifleman (with Chuck Connors, who played baseball for the Dodgers - boo! - but I liked the show anyways).

So the commercial came on, and even though I haven't thought about it in years, memories of the show instantly clicked back into place. Airing in 1966 and only lasting one or two seasons, later shows like Star Trek, Quantum Leap and many others owe thanks to Time Tunnel for inspiration. I'm looking forward to seeing it again.

Posted by: Ted at 08:49 AM | category: Cult Flicks
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Another Icon passes

It's a sad day for us Cult Cinema buffs. Film maker Russ Meyer has passed away at age 82. Best known for his trademark well-endowed female leads and plenty of nudity, his movies stand up to the cheesy test of time and are still lots of fun to watch.

Thanks Russ, I'll watch something in your honor this week.

Posted by: Ted at 11:47 AM | category: Cult Flicks
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I'm still partial to MaryAnn myself

Most of us remember her as Ginger from Gilligan's Island, but Tina Louise has had a decent career in Hollywood (translation: she hasn't starved for lack of acting roles, though there are rumors of a porn movie or two in her filmography).

Of course, it helps to look this good in a toga (in the extended entry). more...

Posted by: Ted at 05:34 AM | category: Cult Flicks
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Birthday Present

Maybe I'm just easy to please. I had fond memories of an early Ralph Bakshi animated movie called Wizards, and when it was recently released Mookie got it for me for my birthday.

Like I said, maybe I'm just easy to please, because I thought it held up well. Nobody would ever mistake this for great cinema, and what some people consider weaknesses I found to be strengths. You'll recognize some similarity of style with Bakshi's later Lord of the Rings, and it's somewhat reminiscent of Vaughn Bode's Cheech Wizard comics.

Wizards features some stunningly creative graphics to tell the story. In fact, the biggest disappointment are the conventionally animated portions, because it's pretty damn poor. Not that the story is any great shakes either. There are some funny bits though.

One of my favorites is when Elenor is being held by the fairies, and the fairies are pissed. A monster shows up and starts to raise hell.

Guard: "Uh, Miss? You'd better do something about that thing."

Elenor: "It'd be better if you release me and we all just run away."

Well, it always made me laugh.

I'm not going to talk about the plot, except to say that it's not as bad as some claim.

My suggestion, if you see this, is to just go with the flow. Appreciate the movie for what it is, and don't expect too much. It helps to be easy to please, I guess.

Peace.

Posted by: Ted at 06:38 AM | category: Cult Flicks
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Too cool

A sequel to Clerks is on the way.

Posted by: Ted at 05:49 AM | category: Cult Flicks
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Movie Reviews - Courtesy of Mookie

My other posts on cult cinema and B-movies can be found by clicking on "Cult Flicks" at the bottom of this post.

The ladies went on vacation a couple of weeks ago, and while they were gone Mookie picked up a few movies for me that she thought I'd like. She made some excellent choices, and I'll review them in parts.

The House at the Edge of the Park - This is a brutal movie, starring the same guy (David Hess), in the same basic role that he played in The Last House on the Left. Hovering right on the edge between ick and cheesy beyond redemption, the movie starts with a rape and murder, and moves right along from there. When Tony and his mildly-retarded best friend invite themselves to a party, it doesn't take long before Tony is terrorizing the entire gathering with a straight razor. He uses it too, more than once, on more than one guest. These partygoers are what we'd call yuppies today - young, wealthy, and reeking of self-satisfied ego, which pisses Tony off. Tony isn't all that stable anyway. Made in 1980, this movie delivers a heaping helping of disco and the Peter Maxx school of design and fashion, which helps set the scene instead of being the distraction I expected. The storyline is straightforward but far from minimalist, with a fair amount of intricate (if sometimes silly) interaction between characters. There's a fair amount of nudity and some uncomfortably realistic sexual assaults. The acting is only ok, and the direction is better than you usually get in this genre. The fact remains though that no character here is all that likable, so it's hard to root for the good guys or against the bad guys. The Last House on the Left is the better movie, if you have to choose only one.

Don't Look in the Basement - The suspense on this one just keeps building and building. A new nurse arrives at an insane asylum, and slowly realizes just how out of control the situation really is. This one has some blood and violence, but the unexpected plot twists and genuine chills delivered make this one fun to see. The crazies are extremely well done, both in concept and as played by the actors who portray them. Only thing is, the basement has almost nothing to do with this movie. I think they just had a good title and ran with it.

I'll save the rest for a later post. Trust me, they're worth waiting for (and that's not sarcasm). In the meantime, I have a dining room to finish painting. Ciao.

Posted by: Ted at 07:45 AM | category: Cult Flicks
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I know your damn words

"Klaatu Barada Nikto."

-- The Day the Earth Stood Still

-- Bruce Campbell vs. Army of Darkness

Posted by: Ted at 05:11 AM | category: Cult Flicks
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What else did you expect?

I didn't have much energy left at the end of the day last week, so I usually just tossed in a movie and found something mostly non-lethal to gnaw on for dinner. And do you know what that means? Yep, I'm gonna tell you all about the latest B movies and obscure classic wannabes I watched. Yay!

We'll kick this off with a truly odd little flick called What's The Matter With Helen?. (does that period go there?). (or there?). (crap, this could go on forever...)

In the movie WtMwH (how doodz is that?), Debbie Reynolds and Shelley Winters play two moms who have almost nothing in common. Nothing, that is, except that their sons partnered up to commit a horrible murder and mutilation. Needing to get away, they move to Hollywood and open a dance studio for children. Debbie Reynolds character is your basic money-grubbing floozy, while Shelley Winters plays a semi-psychotic religious fanatic. That's a horrible over-simplification, because their characters actually do have depth and you're able to empathize with them both. Look for Agnes Moorehead in a cameo role.

And in case you're unclear on the subject, I give this one a hearty recommendation. Great fun.

Which brings me to something I was pondering a while back. Some reviewers give the traditional 'stars' or 'reels' or whatever-out-of-five or ten somethings. Others give the now-ubiquitous 'thumbs up' or 'thumbs down'. Online, I've even seen the awarding of 'severed thumbs', as in "three severed thumbs out of four". I like that. I was wondering if I should do something similar, like awarding Krafts (four Krafts, three and a half Krafts, etc), because Kraft claims to be the cheesiest, and that's what these reviews are all about. In the end, I decided against it, and will just describe and recommend for or against like I've been doing. Who listens to reviewers anyways?

Moving right along, I also watched Idle Hands. I thought I might've mentioned this before, but a search of the site doesn't turn anything up. Folks, this comedy/horror flick scores a 10 out of 10, all thumbs up (severed and otherwise), plus maximum cheesiness. In other words, rent this movie and you won't be sorry. Think Fast Times at Ridgemont High meets The Exorcist. Funny funny stuff, and eminently quotable. Big thanks to my beloved for thinking of me and buying this DVD. As an added bonus, Jessica Alba (Dark Angel) plays the lead character's girlfriend.

How's about a pair from Roger Corman? I watched not one, but two creature features. First up was Creature from the Haunted Sea. Bad, bad, bad. Fun, fun, fun. Every character is a stereotype, from the Bogie-impersonating bad guy to the inept secret agent (now I know where Chevy Chase got his schtick from). The storyline is nonsensical, the monster laughable, and if I ever meet that character who communicates via animal noises and birdcalls I will strangle him on sight.

Second of the Corman flicks was Beast from Haunted Cave. Something that became obvious was Corman's reliance on quirky mannerisms to define a character. The previous movie had animal-noise boy, and this movie has the gangster who never stops eating. In every scene that he's in, he's stuffing his face, even in the middle of a robbery. The plot here is better, as is the acting, and all in all I liked this one a lot more. Not that it's a great movie or anything, but you get to see Frank Sinatra's cousin in one of his major movie roles. Oh yeah, the monster is some kinda giant spider thingie. Sorta.

Lets finish up with one of those forgotten classics, eh? Revolt of the Zombies, made in 1936, was one of the very first zombie movies ever. It seems that during WWI, some French Cambodian troops were used and proved very effective at the front. They happened to be zombies, and the Cambodian priest who controlled them was imprisoned after the war in the interests of humanity. A team of Allied scientists were sent to Angkor (Wat) to discover the secret of zombification, with the task of destroying it forever. There's lots of love interest and mystery and plenty of zombies, who just happen to be living people under someone else's control - no walking dead here. For you trivia buffs, the lead is played by the same actor who later played the General in White Christmas. Find this one and enjoy it, just don't forget that it's a 30's movie and you'll be fine.

So there ya go. Betcha didn't know zombies originated in Cambodia. You learn the darndest things when you least expect it.

Posted by: Ted at 05:29 PM | category: Cult Flicks
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Andromeda Strain

I'm not going to do a regular review of this 1971 flick (adapted from the book by Michael Crichton), but I will say a couple of things about it.

First, if you haven't seen it lately, do yourself a favor and watch it again. If you've never seen it, you should. It's very much in the techno-science style of Fantastic Voyage.

Secondly, one of the most frightening scenes I've ever seen in any film is when they're testing for the whatever-it-is, and you watch the first rhesus monkey die from exposure to it. Absolutely chilling.

Posted by: Ted at 12:22 AM | category: Cult Flicks
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*retch*

Not only are they remaking the classic House of Wax (and destroying the original storyline in the process), but word is out that Paris Hilton is co-starring.

Hopefully she's the first to go.

Posted by: Ted at 08:04 AM | category: Cult Flicks
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Please explain

I watched Bound last night, starring Jennifer Tilly and Gina Gershon.

What is it about Gina Gershon that women find so attractive? She's not a classic beauty, but she is easy on the eyes, and I suspect that there's something more than just physical looks that drives ladies wild.

For the record, I really like the movie.

I just stumbled across another little interesting movie tidbit. The flick Donnie Darko (very odd so far) just started, starring Jake Gyllenhaal who also played Homer Hickam in October Sky (rocket movie, yay!), and is also the brother of Maggie Gyllenhaal, who starred in Secretary and plays one of the sisters in Donnie Darko.

No Kevin Bacon's were harmed during the making of this post.

Posted by: Ted at 10:30 AM | category: Cult Flicks
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Additional thunk'd about "The Last Man On Earth" post

(original post here)

There have been countless stories written about a variation of the "Last Man on Earth" theme. Besides the classic "I Am Legend" by Richard Matheson, Damon Knight's short story "Not With A Bang" is an interesting take on the situation. Originally published in the Winter/Spring 1950 issue of Fantasy & Science Fiction, it's also included in the excellent anthology Alfred Hitchcock Presents: Slay Ride.

Posted by: Ted at 06:09 AM | category: Cult Flicks
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Would the last person alive please turn out the lights?

You've probably seen The Omega Man, the post-apocalypse film starring Charlton Heston. But did you know that the movie had been done before? Both movies were based on Richard Matheson's classic book "I Am Legend", and tell the story of what may be the last human alive and his battle to survive against zombies who roam the night looking for blood.

Wake up, make coffee, gas up the generator in the garage, clear the zombie corpses off of the porch, go grocery shopping, then spend the day killing zombies and burning their bodies. It's a big city, so the routine goes on each and every day. You're half-crazy from the solitude, so you practically welcome the company at night as the zombies try to break into your house.

That's the plot of Last Man On Earth, an Italian chiller made in 1964. Starring Vincent Price, the black and white cinematography and eerie scenes of an empty city littered with corpses go a long way to set the dark tone. This movie is a downer right from the beginning, which feels right considering the concept. There's a lot more background story than in Omega Man, and more psychological depth to the characters.

The Omega Man is one of those wonderfully cheesy SciFi thrillers that you either love or hate. Adapted from the same story as the first movie, both share the main plot line, but where Vincent Price is borderline crazy from his situation, Charlton Heston seems to thrive on it. Details differ, but the most obvious change is recognizing that by being the last man alive, you pretty much own everything. Heston stocks his penthouse apartment with fine art, liquor and food, and as long as he remembers to keep gas in the basement generator, then life is good (except for the being alone part).

Sharing the title, but not the storyline, is the 1924 flick, The Last Man On Earth. This forgotten classic examines the situation from a more literal point of view. What happens if, after all the men die, you find a fertile male? The obvious (and cheesy) answer is "breed".

Similar storylines can be found in such classics as Hell Comes To Frogtown, among others, but here...

Ok, now I'm pissed off. The box gives the synopsis for that movie, but the actual flick included is the Vincent Price version - again. Son of a bitch. Hang on... all right, I've double checked everything, and they switched movies on the DVD.

So now I can't recommend it based on personally seeing it myself, but I am going to be looking for a copy of the original. Ya know what? Go watch Hell Comes To Frogtown.

Posted by: Ted at 09:00 PM | category: Cult Flicks
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Risking my sanity so you don't have to

This is going under Cult Flicks because I'm not sure where else to put it.

I watched the premier episode of Extreme Dodgeball last night on the Game Show Network. I watched it again this afternoon with Mookie, because she TIVO'd it, and this way you get more than first impressions. As if that's important.

Do you like Slamball? If yes, then you'll enjoy Extreme Dodgeball. I admit it, I liked it. But before I actually describe the "sport" itself, well...

William Hung did a video commercial plugging various Game Show Network shows. What did he butcher sing? What else but Queen's "We Are The Champions", in that WH style that causes mass suicides we've grown to tolerate. Cheesy, and the perfect introduction, in my humble opinion. Consider yourself warned.

It's showtime! You know the format: two chatty announcer/hosts - one being Bil Dwyer (that's not a typo, it's only one "L") from BattleBots, with a much more subdued 'do - and a hot babe down near the action to 'interview' the teams during breaks in the action. Throw in pointless segments about various players (called "Beyond the Ball") and you've about summed up the entire show.

Oops, forgot about the teams, didn't I? In the Extreme Dodgeball league (?!?!), the teams are supposedly put together based on occupation, but 'concept' is the real story. Face it, even in LA you're not going to find five real Sumo wrestlers who're willing to be stupid for what probably amounts to minimum guild scale, not to mention the fact that there's no such thing as female Sumo. So the team is actually four fat guys and a fat gal. Just calling it as I see it, and as one of the circumferentially overachieving, let's just say that if I were on the team, my nickname would be 'Slim'. The other teams are horse jockeys, mimes, CPA's, rent-a-cops, hot chicks (and a guy), bodybuilders and tatooed people. Yep, I always wanted to list my occupation as 'canvas for prolific tatoo artist'.

The game itself has enough interesting twists to actually make it, well, interesting. A match is best-of-three games. For the first game, two balls are used. Second game, a third, larger ball is added, and in the third game one team member is designated the "Dead Man Walking" and if you hit them it's all over. The rest of the rules were mostly familiar. My favorite was "no head shots", which meant that a valid strategy was to curl up on your knees facing the other team and let them wail away at your head for no effect - rules-wise, not concussion-wise.

The team balance is actually pretty good, which is what the show's producers want. The rules work well, the strategies and tactics used were logical and surprised me a couple of times. All in all, you can tell that these people extensively tested and tweaked the rules.

So yes, I'll watch it again, if I stumble across it one night when nothing else is on and I want some noise on in the background. It's certainly not something I'm going to seek out and look forward to. I've seen worse. But you already knew that.

Posted by: Ted at 05:42 PM | category: Cult Flicks
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Movie Review Time

Rejected title: Uh-oh, what's Ted gotten into this time?*

I'm going to start with the best and work down to the worst. These are all titles I've recently picked up in various bargain sections.

First and by far the best is Zulu. You may remember this 1964 classic that tells the true story of the 1879 battle at Rorke's Drift. About 150 British soldiers bravely (and barely) hold off a series of attacks by more than 4,000 African Zulu warriors. Starring Michael Caine, this one is a must-see movie, especially for anyone who loves action movies and/or historical drama. If I remember correctly, I got this one at Mieir's as part of a 3 for $10.00 deal.

The second disk of that deal wasn't quite the classic, They Came From Beyond Space. Alien minds take over earth scientists to help them repair their damaged spaceship, and it's up to a McGuyver-esque wannabe to uncover the truth. Luckily for earth, he's got a metal plate in his head, making him immune to alien mind control. I really enjoyed this one, right up until the last three minutes, when the stupidest ending ever committed to film managed to completely screw up a decent movie. This was based on the book "The Gods Hate Kansas", and at times this 60's British import tries too hard and takes itself too seriously.

I almost put this 1998 direct-to-video T&A offering last: Sorority House Vampires from Hell. It somehow seems right that the IMDB description at that link is screwed up. The cast list is correct, but the plot synopsis is for a whole different movie.

I'll just copy the blurb on the box for you instead:

Death, Demons, D-Cups! The UFO-Demon, Rabaalhazor, has sent the vampire, Natalia to destroy the Earth. Each time she takes a victim a natural disaster rocks the planet. Humanity's only hope is the sexy sorority pledge, Buffy, and the members of her sisterhood. She must not only save the world but she also must save herself from the perverted desires of both Rabaalhazor and Natalia.

They spared all expense for this one. The opening sets were cardboard boxes covered with random PC boards glued here and there. Not that you noticed, because there was a topless vampire babe go-go dancing in front of it. Intended to be in the same vein (pun intended) as movies like Scary Movie this spoof muddles along without letting anything like humor and production values get in the way.

There are occasional smirk-worthy bits, including onscreen subtitles that appear every time Surfer Boy speaks. Rabaalhazor sounds like a cross between Mako and Cheech Marin. But mostly, it's an unwatchable mess, which is a pity, because I really like the title.

So what could possibly be worse than that? This last movie was irretrievably spoiled by a horrid audio track. I can overlook weak plot, uneven pacing, poor acting, and sleaze and cheese, but when I have to strain to hear dialogue that sounds like it's coming from the bottom of a well, it kinda ruins it for me.

Ghost Gunfighter (also released as High Tomb) is a horror story set in an abandoned western ghost town. The town starts to come to life around a bunch of stranded kids (surprise, surprise), and of course they start to die (ditto).

I may upgrade my review of this one in the future, because I'm that pissed off right now about the audio. The movie has real promise, but at the moment it's in the "sucks" category. Maybe my mind will change, but there's an awful lot of stoopid and lame-ass going on, podner.

So there you have it - a classic, a fair-to-middlin' flick, and two stinkers.

* Thanks to Dawn of Caterwauling for the inspiration to use the 'rejected title' idea (translation: I stole it from her fine site).

Posted by: Ted at 07:06 PM | category: Cult Flicks
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Sex dominates the world, and now I dominate sex!

Hi-dee-ho esteemed guest, it's movie review time! Since I seem to have driven my old readers away in disgust picked up several new semi-regular visitors, let me tell you that I adore obscure and crappy horror movies. Then I bore you to tears write all about 'em here, because that's what I do. If you'd like to see the rest of the Rocket Jones "Cult Flicks" category, click here.

Last weekend I had the pleasure of watching several movies, but for this post I'm going to review just three.

Let's start out with a question: when someone says "Argentina", do you automatically think "horror movie"?

Me neither. How about "mad scientist monster movies?" No? Hmmmm... ok then: "cheesy sexploitation movies?" Ding ding ding ding ding ding! We have a winner!!! Argentinian sexploitation sci-fi horror. How cool is that?!?!?!

Screwing around aside (no pun intended), the story here is that a mad scientist, the Curious Dr. Humpp, has his monster (we know he's a monster because he has a blinking light in the middle of his forehead) kidnap various people in order to have sex with each other. Among the victims are a lesbian couple, a group of orgiastic hippies, a stripper, and so on. According to his evil plan, he then uses aphrodesiacs and "electronic control of the libido" to coerce them to have frequent sex, after which he extracts the "blood forces of sex" from them. The title of this post is one of his dramatic lines from the movie. Of course, not all goes according to plan and even the evil talking brain in the jar on his desk can't help much.

Believe it or not, this movie is better than it sounds. The production values are reasonably decent, the acting isn't terrible, and even the dubbing is pretty well done. According to what I've dug up on the web, several extra sex scenes were added to spice up the movie for release in the US, so if you fast forward through most of the nudity and softcore you'll actually be watching the movie as the director originally intended, making it more of a morality play and less of a schlock flick.

Next up is a double feature DVD from Something Weird Video: The Toy Box and Toys Are Not For Children.

The Toy Box is just plain odd. Equal parts horror, sexploitation, science fiction, and acid trip, this is a flick that works best if you just hang on and enjoy the ride without trying too hard for understanding. If you insist on storyline, then "Uncle" throws parties where people act out fantasies to get rewards from 'the toy box'. That's about as distilled-down lucid as you can get with this movie, and even that falls way short of the actual twisted happenings.

Winding up this odd threesome of odd movies is Toys Are Not For Children. Looking for a one-word description? "Disturbing" fits as well as anything else. A young girl grows up obsessing about her father, who was tossed out of the house by mom. In a bizarre series of events, she gets a job in a toy store, gets married (unhappily), and then finds happiness by becoming a hooker. She eventually does have a reunion with her daddy, and it's hard to imagine things going any more badly than they do. Although still considered a 'sexploitation' flick, this movie is more a psychological study, and there is actually very little nudity.

So there you have it, three twisted movies, each deemed worthy of your time. If you're into that sort of thing, of course.

Posted by: Ted at 06:24 AM | category: Cult Flicks
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Movie Review: Happiness of the Katakuris

Japanese. Horror. Subtitled. Musical. Schizophrenic. Fun. Thriller. Stupid. Subtle. Disjointed. Hilarious. Crude. Original. Sweet. Surreal.

Wow, this one is impossible to describe. It's all of the above, and more. Imagine watching the shower scene from Psycho, and immediately afterwards the police show up and the investigation is conducted as a musical number from Saturday Night Fever. It makes even less sense than that, but damn, it's odd fun.

Did you enjoy Clerks? Fargo? Godzilla? North by Northwest? Gumby? The Sound of Music?

I saw it on the Sundance Channel. Check your local cable or satellite listings, or according to IMDB reviews, it's also available at some Blockbuster Video stores.

If you like things a lot off the wall, you'll probably enjoy this movie. Or not. Hell, I have no idea. All I know is that *I* loved it.

Did I mention the zombies?

Posted by: Ted at 07:07 AM | category: Cult Flicks
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Thunderbirds are Go!

A new live action style movie due out in July. Be sure to watch both trailers, because the US and international versions are different.

Thanks to Doug Pratt for sending this link to me! And if you go to Doug's site, you should order one of his cool new Freedom 'hoody' sweatshirts or 'rocket scientist' t-shirts. Both are Mookie-approved!

Posted by: Ted at 11:45 AM | category: Cult Flicks
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