I took the "Which Historical General Are You" test, found over at Naked Villainy.

Results in the extended entry. more...

Posted by: Ted at 05:18 AM | category: Links
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We Walk the Levee.

Posted by: Ted at 04:11 PM | category: Links
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T-Shirt.

From Buckethead, at the Ministry of Minor Perfidy.

Posted by: Ted at 06:11 AM | category: Links
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This page gives directions on how to knit a replacement breast for women who've undergone a mastectomy.

What a beautiful idea! Thanks to Rachel Ann for the pointer.

Posted by: Ted at 08:17 AM | category: Links
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This is kind of a non-linking linking thing, but if you go over to the right sidebar and scroll down (or do the search thing... not the box, the cntl-F search), look for Two Nervous Dogs and click on it.

Behold one of the funniest, most original and creative people I've never met but wish I could someday.

Posted by: Ted at 03:58 PM | category: Links
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John posted pictures taken at last weekend's get together.

Posted by: Ted at 12:01 PM | category: Links
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Robbo the Llamabutcher has spent considerable time defending the ol' homestead from deer and rabbits. The cute, cuddly and innocent woodland creatures believe that a beautifully maintained flower garden means "salad bar". You can try to scare them away, you can put up fences or many other time-tested methods that don't work all that well, because when Bambi and Thumper get hungry your garden looks a helluva lot more appetizing than Mother Nature's ordinary fare.

Being a fellow gardener (although I don't share the wildlife problem), I was inspired the other night while watching an old movie on TV. So Rob, here's what you do...

First, build a sandbagged bunker atop one corner of your roof, near the trouble spot in the garden.

Next, hire George Takei. I can't imagine that he's not available, and it'll be a nice change for him to dress up in cammo fatigues rather than that threadbare Star Trek uniform.

You'll need to do some secret prep work, probably at night so that your neighbors and the animals don't know exactly what your defenses are.

When the time comes next Spring, be in the bunker with George. And when you spot Bambi and friends dropping by for a midnight gnosh, George will smile at you inscrutably and say, "I was prepared for that". Then he pushes a button on a small box in front of you and FWOOM!!!! Bambi, Thumper, and the rest of the critters are incinerated by carefully laid out trenches full of foo gas.

Remember, the key to successful defense is overlapping layers and depth, so you should be prepared for a second, third, or even fourth wave of mixed-grill on the hoof.

I wondered about the authenticity aspects, and decided that you should probably forego blowing up the little dog with a mortar. To make up for it though, you could wait for the inevitable visit from PETA, and then snare one and fling him into a wall of punji stakes. That would probably persuade them to leave and might even cause the local police to look upon the agressive but justified defense of your personal property in a more lenient light.

Let me know how it goes.

Posted by: Ted at 05:12 AM | category: Links
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Last night, I had the extreme pleasure of meeting several local - and one very not-local - bloggers for dinner in Olde Towne Alexandria. John Lanius of Texas Best Grok got the ball rolling a couple of weeks ago via email, because he would be in town on business, and was wondering if it would be possible to set up a blogmeet.

Besides John, those in attendance included Cat of A Swift Kick and a Bandaid, her blogless friend Matt, Dawn of Caterwauling, Lysander (who is alive and kicking, despite the evidence at his blog), Robert the Llamabutcher, Naked Villainy's Maximum Leader, and Buckethead of The Ministry of Minor Perfidy. Oh, and yours truly.

As usual, it was like getting together with old friends even if most of us had never met each other. The food was good (mine was, I don't recall hearing anyone else mentioning it), and the conversation excellent. Topics ranged from the history of communism to TShirt Hell, and just about anything and everything in between. Four and a half hours later, we settled up and on the way out the conversations continued on the sidewalk out front.

For the locals, Nic has suggested a get-together for a Washington Capitals hockey game one evening. I'm up for that!

Posted by: Ted at 12:50 AM | category: Links
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1 Envy.

The only Munuvian I have met in person (so far) is Simon.

Posted by: Pixy Misa at October 16, 2005 11:19 AM (QriEg)

2 Well then, Pixy, get yer ass on over Stateside! You will be treated regally, I promise!

Posted by: Tuning Spork at October 16, 2005 08:47 PM (Kfkyk)

3 But that would involve travel.

Posted by: Pixy Misa at October 17, 2005 04:13 AM (RbYVY)

4 I guess he's waiting for the age of teletransport or he's waiting for the next 38 months to go bye before he takes another vacation?

Still, I'm jelous too. Some of these peeps are some of my favorites.

Posted by: michele at October 18, 2005 05:52 PM (UrdCE)

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If it were, I'm not sure I would tell it.

“I was driving my wife’s car the other day and saw a little round thing in the cupholder, thought it was a cigarrette lighter. I looked at it, it had a little handle you turn and push down so I thought, yeah, it’s a lighter, I wonder what the wife is doing with this- she don’t smoke. So I pushed the button down to see if it still worked and maced myself. It weren’t any damned fun, I’ll tell you that.”

Thanks to Random Nuclear Strikes for the pointer.

Posted by: Ted at 10:10 AM | category: Links
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Derek is a mad genius.

(click to add bacon, Dave would've wanted it that way)

Posted by: Ted at 04:11 AM | category: Links
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Check out these beautiful galleries of photographs taken by Amy's anti-Mother-in-Law (must be a Krypton thing).

Posted by: Ted at 06:11 AM | category: Links
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I'm sorry, but I laughed so hard at this. Warning: animal lovers or people without a sense of humor should NOT click that link.

Thanks to the Llama Butchers for the link.

Posted by: Ted at 08:14 AM | category: Links
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It's all in the details.

With all the rain we've been having the past two days (measured in inches), our basement is flooding a little bit. So I've been doing the towels on the floor, spin and dry, sop up the excess from the carpet with the cleaner, etc. That's the hassle part of it. The benefit side is that the creeks around us are all full to bursting, and when I went to let the dogs out this morning, you can hear the water rushing in the background. Very nice.

The Carnival of the Recipes is up over at the Glittering Eye. There are the usual collection of outstanding dishes for every taste, contributed by people from all over the world. Go check it out.

Last week I was in the back upstairs bedroom (3rd floor of our townhouse), painting near the window, when I was startled by a flash just outside the glass. I witnessed a magnificent little aerial battle as a large blackbird was chased off by one of our local hawks. They were like two nimble fighter jets, wings extended, banking and darting as the blackbird tried to shake the hawk from his tail. The hawk was close enough that, had he wanted, he could have snatched a tail feather from the blackbird with his talons. They fell two stories and, at the last second the blackbird broke hard left, over the back fence and out of the area. The hawk leveled out and glided across the back meadow to the wood, where he perched in a tall tree and stayed for a while, as if surveying for further intruders.

When I got home last night I checked on the hockey scores and noted that Brian's St. Louis Blues were in the process of whooping on my beloved Sharks. This morning I inteded to go find a Blues logo to post here, in accordance with the prophesy the rules of the Whoopass Jamboree, when lo and behold, I discovered that the Sharks had come back to win. Brian is a better sport about it than I, because I'd probably have to create an extended entry to protect innocent eyes from my cursing and ranting.

In related news, Victor beat me in the first week matchup of our blogger fantasy hockey league. I'm completely lost as to how this league works and what the rules are, it's unlike anything I've ever seen before. Not an excuse, just sayin'. Congrats Victor, let's hope Bondra can keep it up, eh?

Finally, yesterday I had the pleasure of spending the day walking through several Smithsonian art museums with Dawn. We started at the Hirschhorn, and afterwards (like Victor mentioned) walked down the street in the pouring rain to see the Freer and Sackler galleries. Memorable.

I want to go again in better weather, to experience Directions - Janet Cardiff.

We now return you to your regular Rocket Jones program of cheesecake pinups and zombies.

Posted by: Ted at 08:05 AM | category: Links
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1 Heckuva comeback by me.

On another note: You poo-poo head. I was trying to get Ovechkin, but you were better positioned waiver-wise than I! POO-POO HEAD!

Posted by: Victor at October 09, 2005 09:31 AM (l+W8Z)

2 Forgot to mention--the week ends tonight, so you still have a chance.

Posted by: Victor at October 09, 2005 09:38 AM (l+W8Z)

3 victor, please explain the waiver process to me. I have no idea how these leagues handle that. What makes someone on waivers vs. a plain ol' pickup?

Oh, and NEENER NEENER.

Posted by: Ted at October 09, 2005 09:49 AM (+OVgL)

4 If a player is cut (like how I just dropped Kolzig) they're on waivers for three days. At that time, anyone can pick up the player but the manager with the lowest waiver number (1, for instance) gets a higher priority for that player. If they get that player, the manager is moved to the bottom of the waiver list (8th position). In this case, you and I probably put in a bid for Ovechkin, but at the time my waiver number was 6 (I think). Yours was five, or lower, and therefore you got him based on your having a lower waiver number. But now you're on the bottom of the waiver pile until someone else gets someone off waivers, when you'll move up to 7th.

Posted by: Victor at October 09, 2005 11:25 AM (l+W8Z)

5 Ted, you were at the Hirshorn and you didn't slide over to Air and Space to see the SpaceShipOne, installed in the Milestones of Flight gallery just this last week?

Posted by: buckethad at October 09, 2005 08:52 PM (Qgvr0)

6 Actually, we were on our way towards the Air and Space when we decided to backtrack towards the other two. Since I get to the Air and Space more often than the rest, I'll see SpaceShipOne eventually.

Now, if anyone would like to get together and head out to the Udvar-Hazy one Saturday...

Admission is free but parking is $12, so taking a car full just makes sense.

Posted by: Ted at October 09, 2005 09:49 PM (+OVgL)

7 Victor, thanks for explaining the waiver process.

Posted by: Ted at October 09, 2005 09:51 PM (+OVgL)

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From John at TexasBestGrok (who's blog turned 2 the other day - yay!):

Context: Insects are specialists (drone, workers, queens, etc), where humans are generalists.

The original Heinlein:

A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.

Items I've done are in bold, notes and explanations follow.

* Change a diaper - cloth for the first child, disposable for the third, a mix for the middle kid.
* Plan an invasion - in real life a security exercise designed to steal nuclear weapons, on a gameboard for entire continents and galaxies.
* Butcher a hog - deer, pheasant and fish.
* Conn a ship - my Uncle's sailboat, which he sometimes sailed to Hawaii.
* Design a building - the largest that ever made it past the paper stage was a shed.
* Write a sonnet - I've written some pretty bad poetry, but no sonnets of any quality
* Balance accounts - enough to get by.
* Build a wall - wood, brick, and maybe stone next summer.
* Set a bone - a friend's broken finger, although I never want to have to do it again.
* Comfort the dying - I've been fortunate in my life.
* Take orders - thirteen years in the Air Force.
* Give orders - ditto.
* Cooperate
* Act alone
* Solve equations - it's not math... it's not math...
* Analyze a new problem - welcome to computer programming
* Pitch manure - and hay and ground oats (?), family with dairy farms
* Program a computer - my job.
* Cook a tasty meal - check.
* Fight efficiently - fight? yeah. won? yeah. lost? oh yeah.
* Die gallantly - more than once in a simulated fashion while doing security exercises for the Strategic Air Command.

Hey, that's more than I expected!

Posted by: Ted at 05:21 PM | category: Links
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All kinds of eBook related news, information and links at TeleRead.

Posted by: Ted at 05:48 AM | category: Links
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I've been promoted to "crony" over at the Ministry of Minor Perfidy!

If you don't regularly read these guys, then you're not getting your minimum requirement of evil robot overlords, all things yeasty and the occasional neener-neener from a snotty Canadian.

Posted by: Ted at 07:08 PM | category: Links
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1 Anal probes????

Posted by: Blogeline at October 04, 2005 07:45 AM (YMz4J)

2 crony does not equal copy editor

Posted by: Ted at October 04, 2005 08:31 AM (blNMI)

3 isn't it spelled "cronie?"

Posted by: Derek at October 04, 2005 12:39 PM (FloaD)

4 I don't know. I'll have to ask the most brilliant man I know.

Posted by: Ted at October 04, 2005 12:43 PM (blNMI)

5 Actually I am a woman

Oh, and it's crony so Ted wins.

Posted by: Blogeline at October 04, 2005 03:28 PM (YMz4J)

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Sports, that is.

Our baseball season is over. I wound up a respectable 5th out of 10 teams, and was fighting for 4th throughout the last month or so. (update: I did finish in 4th place in the final standings) Many thanks to annika for being the commish for this league, I had a blast. Congrats to Hank's Homeys for running away with the pennant.

Meanwhile, over at the stadium, I inexplicably won again thanks to some truly uninspired play by my opponents roster. By all rights, he should've stomped me. I'm not loving this league, because the scoring emphasis seems to be on touchdowns, which make your wide recievers the primary weapons. Running backs and quarterbacks are a very small part of the equation that I'm seeing so far. It's still fun, but I preferred last year's setup, where total yardage and number of receptions and other stats factored in.

You still have the chance to sign up for the fantasy hockey league. You don't have to obsess, peoples, it's for fun!

Posted by: Ted at 05:30 AM | category: Links
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It was a good day yesterday.

Called my Dad, he's 73 now. He sold his house and moved in with his girlfriend. Bought a brand new fully loaded minivan too, he does that every few years.

On the home front, Liz reupholstered a footstool while I installed a new computerized thermostat for the house. We also did some patching and painting in the soon-to-be sewing room.

Yep, a boring and pointless post. Welcome to Rocket Jones.

Posted by: Ted at 07:57 AM | category: Links
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1 Happy birthday to your dad!

Sounds like a productive day you had at casa de Rocket :-)

Posted by: Cindy at October 02, 2005 10:38 AM (vg5qz)

2 Have you started cursing the thermostat yet?

I'm no Luddite, but I really really really miss the simple mercury-switch Honeywell thermostat from our old house. Simply push a little lever until the system starts. We have a new Honeywell with numerous programs and modes, but no ability to do that one simple little function. I don't want to use my brain to turn on the A/C or heat.

Digital-everything is not always good. Give me a proper analog interface every now and then to keep me happy. I must be getting old.

Posted by: JohnL at October 03, 2005 12:05 PM (YVul2)

3 LOL John, the unit I installed was removed from a brand new home by my neighbor (an A/C guy) at the request of the new homeowner who wanted it replaced with an old-fashioned mercury switch model.

This is the second new thermostat I've put in. The first was not long after we moved in, probably 15 years ago. It was getting fussy, but worked reliably for all that time.

I got a complete demo and explanation for how everything on the new one works. Not that it matters much, I'm thinking we'll be very stingy with the heat this winter because of fuel costs. That's ok though, that's what sweaters, blankets and cuddling are for.

Posted by: Ted at October 03, 2005 01:56 PM (blNMI)

4 I've managed to save up roughly $54202 in my bank account, but I'm not sure if I should buy a house or not. Do you think the market is stable or do you think that home prices will decrease by a lot?

Posted by: Courtney Gidts at November 16, 2005 02:44 PM (wjJFD)

5 I've managed to save up roughly $83788 in my bank account, but I'm not sure if I should buy a house or not. Do you think the market is stable or do you think that home prices will decrease by a lot?

Posted by: Courtney Gidts at November 16, 2005 02:54 PM (HpDlV)

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Look who's on the cover of the inaugural issue!

Blue and Rocket Jones get a mention too.

What's that? You ask, "what's 'podcasting'?" Oh, ye stone-tool-using throwback, you might call podcasting "audio blogging". Download shows (follow the links above and there are more links here) to your mp3 player and join the 21st century.

Posted by: Ted at 07:30 AM | category: Links
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I've written about some of my adventures while in the Air Force, many while serving as a Security Policeman. While I tend to share the lighter moments, it's never far from your mind that things can become serious and deadly in a split second. That's the nature of the job.

Airman 1st Class Elizabeth Jacobson, 21, was providing convoy security Sept. 28 near Camp Bucca, Iraq, when the vehicle she was riding in was hit by an improvised explosive device. She is the first female Airman killed in the line of duty in support of Operation Iraqi Freedom.

Please, follow this link and leave words of encouragement for those she left behind in the comments section.

Posted by: Ted at 06:33 PM | category: Links
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