Two Nervous Dogs has returned. I tried working in some sort of crotch-sniffing joke, but it wasn't working. Go read, she's funny!

Thanks to Tim at Backstage for the pointer.

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Cherry posts a friday joke each week (as does Tiger). Always good for a chuckle, but this one really had me laughing. If I ever meet these guys, I'll buy them a tank of petrol.

Spring is in the air. Daffodils are starting to show, birds are singing, bees are buzzing, and Munuvians are meeting for beer, pizza and trivia. That's right, fellow Munuvians Tuning Spork and Stephen are taking your questions, which will be asked and answered in the First Annual Fairfield County Munuvian Blogger Trivia Invitational. A barbed-wire cage match was considered, but we're an amiable bunch in Munuviana.

Drop in and say hello to Sarah. Her husband was just deployed overseas for a year.

Also, brand new Munuvian Ilyka Damen hasn't quite moved in yet, but soon, very soon. I'm looking forward to it.

Munuviana. In some obscure and lost language that had to have meant "concentrated goodness".

Posted by: Ted at 11:35 AM | category: Links
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It's a contest called Miniature City, and the idea is to photoshop an image to show what the world would be like if you were tiny.

Thanks to Cindy of Squipper and Al of Fulton Chain for the pointer.

Posted by: Ted at 05:25 AM | category: Links
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(insert humorous introduction here)

This is fun in a goofy sort of way (warning: bandwidth alert). Kudos to Silflay Hraka for the pointer.

Yahoo is trying their little game again, where they change the privacy policy and everyone is automatically opted-in to allow them to track your movement throughout the internet. Thanks to the guys at Anticipatory Retaliation for the heads up on this one, including the way to opt-out.

From The Universal Church of Cosmic Uncertainty:

You've heard of the Enigma cipher machine, yes? The Germans used it during WW2 for encoding and decoding messages.

If you've always wanted to play with an Enigma, the Enigma-E building kit might appeal.

The Enigma-E is a DIY Building Kit that enables you to build your own electronic variant of the famous Enigma coding machine that was used by the German army during WWII. It works just like a real Enigma and is compatible with an M3 and M4 Enigma as well as the standard Service Machines. A message encrypted on, say, a real Enigma M4 can be read on the Enigma-E and vice versa.

TL Hines has been posting a series he calls the "Darkhorse Dialogues", where he interviews the fringe presidential candidates. Lots of fun, and it makes you appreciate the solemn dignity of LaRouche and Nader.

Ooooo, look Susie. Firemen's equipment.

Over at JimiLove's place, he shares a beautiful piece titled The Tao of Two. Little Max already has wisdom beyond his years. Some samples:

No is temporary, but yes is forever

Caution is a byproduct of experience

If whining never worked no one would do it

You control your own mouth, and what goes in it

Everyone gets a kiss goodnight before bed

Pushing the elevator buttons does not make you a "big boy", knowing which ones to push does

Lynn asks two intriguing questions:

If you could have as a pet, any creature from science fiction what would you choose?

If you could own any device from science fiction what would you choose?

Over at Left & Right, Rob has been compiling and revising his list of Top Guitar Players. Lots of debate on this one, you should check it out.

Paul has been schizo ecclectic in his posting subjects lately, writing about everything from wallets and cell phones to an acoustic version of Disco Inferno. Visit Sanity's Edge, and thank him for not being Bill.

Ever write a newspaper about a goof they made? Say Uncle did, and they asked him to write an Op Ed piece about the assault weapons ban. Read all about it here. He cuts through the fear factor and misinformation to score some telling points. Good job.

I'll close with a blog I've just began to visit regularly. Scott talks about those scam artists at Classmates.com. I dealt with them last year, and they really are bottom-feeders.

Update: Martin St. Louis of the Tampa Bay Lightning bears a striking resemblance to Richard Simmons. Yeah, I'm ticked off after watching the Caps lose a third period lead and get blown out.

Posted by: Ted at 04:59 AM | category: Links
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1 A great roundup!

Posted by: Pixy Misa at February 24, 2004 07:29 AM (jtW2s)

2 Ted, you are an evil tease!!!! Keep it up....

Posted by: Susie at February 24, 2004 09:11 AM (0+cMc)

3 Scott's post just proves my theory: classmates.com was started by the Antichrist.

Posted by: TL Hines at February 24, 2004 02:01 PM (lZuGl)

4 Thanks for the inclusion and link. ;-)

Posted by: The Gray Monk at February 24, 2004 05:55 PM (S1nA7)

5 Thanks for the mention. They are the great Satan. I've been out of pocket a little lately because my Mom has hit town like a tornado..hehe.

Plus, writer's bloc and all of that.

Posted by: Scott at February 25, 2004 04:20 PM (zL4bg)

6 Thanks for the mention. They (classmates.com) are the great Satan. I've been out of pocket a little lately because my Mom has hit town like a tornado..hehe.

Plus, writer's bloc and all of that.

Posted by: Scott at February 25, 2004 04:20 PM (zL4bg)

7 Sorry for the repeat. I blame my own ineptitude.

Posted by: Scott at February 25, 2004 04:34 PM (zL4bg)

8 Pet? No probs - a treecat from the Honor Harrington novels.

Device? Uuhhh.... lemme get back to you. So many nifty toys, so little time.

Posted by: Ironbear at March 01, 2004 01:53 AM (3i0ii)

9 I answered: Inertialess drive (Doc Smith's) and treecat. Got here from yr kid's blog. That "God is a tomato" entry was hilarious. Left a comment, but restrained my nasty sense of humor in respect for her age. People have been telling me I act like a ten-year-old for forty years or so, didn't wanna gross her out with my stupid immature juvenile jokes.

Posted by: Justthisguy at March 01, 2004 02:39 AM (77KTH)

10 Thanks for stopping by. I'm not encouraging you, but she's been exposed to immature and juvenile humor her whole life. Her mom... yeah, that's the ticket...

Posted by: Ted at March 01, 2004 07:59 AM (blNMI)

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Random Nuclear Strikes. The link goes to a special post about the First Special Forces Group (Airborne), but everything there is a good read.

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Eric of Off Wing Opinion is proposing a blog meet for the metro DC area, to be held, appropriately enough, at a Washington Capitals game.

I'm making tentative plans for this one. Anyone else?

Kevin?
Nic?
Victor?
Phillip?
Ross and/or Buckethead?
Rob?
Dawn?
Scott?

Who am I forgetting?

Posted by: Ted at 08:42 AM | category: Links
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1 I'll go if Scott drives.

Posted by: Dawn at February 20, 2004 10:29 AM (Q0xHi)

2 Ahh, someone who has never driven with me before. Most people don't know this, but the actual reason I left Connecticut in 1996 was that I was ordered out for driving malfeasance.

On a serious note, hockey sounds fun. Though I'd usually Metro to those things to avoid the blistering $25 parking charge -- money better spent in the MCI Center on the 2 domestic beers it would buy.

Posted by: Scott at February 20, 2004 11:05 AM (zL4bg)

3 Oh, metro is absolutely the way to go. I'd drive to Springfield and pick it up there.

Posted by: Ted at February 20, 2004 11:32 AM (blNMI)

4 Metro is an excellent idea -- Shawn told me how you drive, Scott. I'd like to live to see my 30th birthday!

Posted by: Dawn at February 20, 2004 11:35 AM (Q0xHi)

5 I'll have to talk it over with the boss...I mean, the gf. But it's not like she's wont to turn down a hockey game. I saw Eric's list; I'm already going to the Ottawa game. The others are up in the air.

Posted by: Victor at February 20, 2004 02:01 PM (L3qPK)

6 Field trip! Field trip!

Don't mind me, just passing through.

Posted by: Pixy Misa at February 20, 2004 10:41 PM (jtW2s)

7 Isn't James of Outside The Beltway not too far outside the beltway? Phil Dennison of Catch me if you can is local as well.

Posted by: buckethead at February 23, 2004 11:06 AM (ztNrs)

8 I'm up for it!

Am trying to get the family to the 3/20 game for my birthday, but I don't know if that's gonna happen.

I'll see if the Big Hair wants to go.

Posted by: Rob at February 24, 2004 11:20 AM (rOi9m)

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From the inestimable Pixy:

This one is for Susie, Cherry, Jennifer, Mookie, LeeAnn, Roxette, Stevie, Heather, Helen, Linda, Annika and Sarah:

Throw Rocks At Boys

I wholeheartedly agree ladies, thank you for making this a nicer and more interesting year. I'd also like to add to that list:

Shell, Candy, Carol, Dawn, Min, Margi, Dana, Anna, Lynn, Serenity, Nic, Kelley, Tas, Tink, Dawn, and Denita.

I considered sending individual ecards to everyone, but I'm just not that thoughtful. Ask my wife. Although this year I did get her a very nice gold bracelet. She showed it to me last night. I have impeccable taste.

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1 Awwww, Happy Valentine's Day back at'cha, ya big lug! :-)

--TwoDragons

Posted by: Denita TwoDragons at February 14, 2004 12:28 AM (Sg245)

2 This is e-card enough. Back atcha.

Posted by: Anna at February 14, 2004 02:31 AM (TF5Pc)

3 Happy V Day to you too Ted!

Posted by: Tink at February 14, 2004 10:19 PM (Pp0b1)

4 This was perfect for me -- it fits, it works and it's sweet like you!

Posted by: Dawn at February 15, 2004 03:51 AM (Q0xHi)

5 Love is a path to the heart that knows its own way.

Posted by: Lamar Cole at October 26, 2005 04:36 PM (04NZk)

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Black Hearts Party. Gifts for that 'special' one on your list and much much more.

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...and Bunsen has it.

Here he presents a 10-question quiz where each answer is either Courtney Love or Westminster Dog Show Entrant.

This reminds me of an old David Letterman Top Ten list , something about "Favorite Body Parts or Van Pattens". The number one answer was "Dick".

Posted by: Ted at 05:49 AM | category: Links
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US military working dogs are of two types (that I know of). There are drug-detection dogs and bomb-detection dogs. Both kinds can do duty as a guard dog, but basically it's taking advantage of their keen senses, the training for the guard role is limited since they focus on their primary function. After the Vietnam conflict, so-called 'sentry' dogs were phased out because they were ultra-agressive and somewhat unpredictable. Military dogs aren't pets, they're tools bred and trained to do a specific job, and turning one loose against someone is considered using 'deadly force'.

I don't know much about police dog training. I suspect that police dogs are taught more in the way of apprehension techniques and keeping a perpetrator at bay and under control.

A while back The Meatriarch did a fine two-part series (here and here) on canine breeds who fit the bill if you need serious protection and are prepared to spend the time and effort in order to be a responsible owner to one. Everyone should read these, for informational purposes if nothing else, because the average person does not equate dogs with overwhelming deadly force.

Posted by: Ted at 08:37 PM | category: Links
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Poodles were originally bred as hunting dogs, and here's the lowdown on why poodle haircuts are so weird, courtesy of Slate, via J-Walk Blog.

An unshorn poodle's thick coat could weigh it down in the water. With the bottom half of its body shaved, the animal was more buoyant and could swim more freely. The long mane and hair around the chest were left intact to keep the poodle's vital organs warm in the cold water, and owners also kept the hair around the joints to protect them from cold and injury and to help prevent rheumatism.

Shaving the hair around the face left the poodle's mouth and eyes free so it could fulfill its retrieving responsibilities, and tying the hair on a poodle's head into a "top knot" also kept hair out of its eyes. Owners eventually tied these knots with brightly colored ribbons to help them identify their dogs from afar.

See? Manly reasons all.

Posted by: Ted at 11:26 AM | category: Links
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For Valentine's Day, don't give your loved one just any old plushy, give a Santa Cthulhu, because nothing says eternal love like a fictional ancient god. Cupid? What a wuss.

Now maybe you want to keep the kids busy while you get 'thanked' for your thoughtfulness. What better way than to stick with the theme? Your little shoggoths can entertain themselves with a Cthulhu hand puppet. They'll have hours of fun reenacting The Doom That Came To Sarnath and The Dunwhich Horror. For extra fun, check eBay for out-of-print copies of Lovecraft audiobooks that they can listen to. And if they hear strange noises coming from your bedroom, it just adds to the atmosphere, eh?

"It's ok honey, mommy's fine. She's just being eaten by an Old One."

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Sideshow Collectibles, because everyone should have Leatherface in their living room.

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Ever notice that the cost of roses goes up in the week before Valentine's Day? In our years of wedded bliss, I've mostly ignored Valentine's Day (beyond a simple card), although every few years I'll get Liz candy or flowers, and a couple of times I got her a gift every day for the week leading up to it (balloons, stuffed animal, jewelry, etc). I don't want to become predictable and have her get bored with me, at least that's what I tell her. Truth is, I can't be bothered to care about a lame made-up holiday.*

Now this site nails it: Be My Anti-Valentine. Send one of their cards any ol' time, just because.

Thanks to Squipper for that link! Also, for those less romantically-challenged than I (or if you're in the doghouse, you unfeeling bastard), and you're looking for unique jewelry ideas, try here.

*For those who think that statement might be useful as blackmail fodder, think again. Liz knows my feelings about it, and it frustrates the bejeebers outta her.

Posted by: Ted at 11:33 AM | category: Links
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I was wondering what it would be like to have a theme party where everyone had to dress up like one of the "Real Men of Genius" in those Bud beer commercials. Imagine a room full of "Mr. Tiny Thong Bikini Wearer" and "Mr. Really Bad Toupee Wearer" guys.

If you do this, please take plenty of pictures let me know how it turns out.

Thanks to Victor for the inspiration (translation: blame him). Also, fellow Munuvian Tuning Spork has posted a wonderful parody here (can you parody a parody? why does the word 'parody' look funny?). Oh well, back to the Sporkster, the man is a genius, a real man of genius.

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1 I don't know if I'd call it parody, it's really more of a rip-off. mheh. It seemed like it'd be more fun than just doing a straight rant about them $&#%@ pop-up ads. Ooo! I just came up with another idea! but it's a secret for now....

Posted by: Tuning Spork at February 06, 2004 02:34 PM (cvCom)

2 Whatever, Spork, it was funnier than cat piss.

Hey, for that party, I got dibs on Mr. Company Computer Guy, since that's what I am in real life. Heh.

Posted by: Victor at February 06, 2004 05:05 PM (16A49)

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Another 'rocket' out there in the ecosystem: The Rocketsled to Hell.

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1 Our Rocket theme is becomming quite popular isn't it Ted? Although I know you were here long before me.

Posted by: Rocket Man Blg at February 05, 2004 12:40 PM (D4mP3)

2 Must be a conservative thing. Rocket Man, Rocket Jones, Rocket Penguin, and now Rocketsled to Hell. The meek shall inherit the earth, we'll be busy exploring out there.

Posted by: Ted at February 05, 2004 01:29 PM (blNMI)

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The Washington Post now has photos from it's vast archives available for purchase. Very cool.

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