Over at the Ministry of Minor Perfidy they're hosting the latest edition of the Carnival of Tomorrow. Minister Buckethead has titled this one as "Carnival of Tomorrow #16, blatant link whoring edition".

So head on over and check out one of the coolest Carnivals making the rounds.

Posted by: Ted at 12:21 PM | category: Links
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I won't bother with a rundown on the loot that Santa left for me. Instead, I'll direct you to a few other places of Christmassy related internettedness.

First up, through Dogette - who has been sleighing me (get it?) me with her "12 Poops of Christmas" series (if you're not a PREMIUM USER, then you wouldn't understand) - I've met Jim of Parkway Rest Stop. He reminds me of CGHill's Dustbury, in that he combines charm and local color to create an always interesting and often funny visit. Give him a try, you won't be sorry. He's on the blogroll now too.

Speaking of Dustbury, I just had to include this bit:

Lawrence, Kansas Mayor Boog Highberger has proclaimed International Dada Month, and what's more, he's not adhering to that hopelessly-square business about having it one continuous month: it will begin 4 February 2006, end on 26 October, and occupy randomly-selected days in between.

The proclamation includes a classic line from German Dadaist poet Hugo Ball: "zimzim urallala zimzim urallala zimzim zanzibar zimzalla zam."

That kind of poetic genius just brings a tear to the eye.

Of course, any Christmas visit with Rocket Jones must include zombies! And in one of those frightrul synergystic happenings, we've got poetry about zombies!

Christmassy poetry about zombies!!!

From the Ministry of Minor Perfidy, we are directed to this heart-warming site and their reworking of The Night Before Christmas. A sample stanza:

I in my Kevlar(tm) and ma in Gortek(tm)

Had salvaged some canned goods from a truck that had wrecked

The children had rifles and covered our ass

As Grandpa raced over to siphon some gas

Bless us every one.

Finally, what would Christmas be without scantily clad asian ladies dressed up in red with furry white trim? Not safe for work. I'm going to check under our tree again, just in case Santa left me one and I missed it! I also learned that the name of the site, "Kimochi-ii", is Japanese for "feels goooood!". I've never watched Japanese porn, so I didn't know that. Consider that today's lesson in the "No Pervert Left Behind" curriculum.

Merry Christmas, y'all!

Posted by: Ted at 08:35 AM | category: Links
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Baltimore Orioles coach Elrod Hendrix died of a heart attack yesterday. Today would have been his 65th birthday. For those who don't know, Elrod was a catcher in the big leauges from 1969 to 1979, mostly with the Orioles. He was the starting catcher for the O's when they won the World Series from '69-'71.

When he retired as a player, he became a coach for the Orioles, and has been the bullpen coach for 28 years. In all, Elrod Hendrix made more appearances in an Orioles uniform than any other man in club history.

He didn't keep a low profile either, he was the unofficial ambassador for the O's, making frequent appearances at youth baseball functions all over the area. It's often said of those who pass away that "he was loved by everyone". In Elrod's case, that was the literal truth.

We're going to miss him.

In other news, the San Fransisco Giants sent overpaid has-been Edgardo Alphonzo to the California Anaheim's of Southern Angels (or whatever the hell they're calling themselves this week) for overpaid has-been Steve Finley.

From the ever-quotable McCovey Chronicles:

Enjoy Alfonzo, Southern California. Enjoy him to the last drop. There is no injury that can explain away just how awful he was, and his age-related decline started when he was about 29. He's truly an artist, both at the plate and around the bag at second. Unfortunately, the artist is Robert Mapplethorpe, and you don't want to know where that bullwhip is going. You think you might get used to it, but you never do.

On the plus side, with the addition of Finley, the Giants can boast an outfield featuring Barry Bonds (age 41), Moises Alou (age 39), and Steve Finley (age 40). This might qualify them for discount contract insurance through AARP.

Posted by: Ted at 08:13 PM | category: Links
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Over at Kimochi-ii!!!!, K is posting his usual assortments of asian cuties in various stages of dress and undress (not safe for work!), but he's taken to grouping them by the color of their... whatever... they're wearing.

White.
Black.
Red.
Blue.

So far.

Posted by: Ted at 08:32 PM | category: Links
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I know I got this from at least two people, Cat being one of them. In one of those really odd happenings that make life so interesting and frustrating all at once, today Cat and I discovered that we work in adjacent buildings. The frustrating bit being that tomorrow is her last day there as her internship ends. We *will* be getting together for lunch, and possibly semi-regularly if I understand correctly that her friend "the blogless wonder" works there too (you'll remember him from the blogmeet we had in Old Town Alexandria).

Ah yes, Susie was the other. So be jealous guys, because I got double teamed by two lovely ladies! And don't believe Susie when she claims to be perfectly normal. *nudge nudge* *wink wink*

Ok, so onward to five weird things about me.

1. I am hopeless at math beyond the basics, unless I'm doing computer programming. Do a cruise missile flight simulation using three-dimensional vector geometry? No problem. Kids ask Dad for help with algebra homework? Brain lock, better ask Mom.

2. Lists. If I don't write it down, I'll forget it. Our desk is covered with post-it notes with lists of things I want to remember. I have to clean out my briefcase every once in a while to get rid of old lists and reminders.

3. My pockets. When I'm out, I'm almost OCD about patting my right back pocket to check that my wallet is still there. While I'm at it, the front pockets get a quick pat (keys in front left, pocket watch and change in front right), and my left back too (handkerchief and pocketknife). At work, I reach up and make sure my building badge is in my shirt pocket. I probably look like I'm feeling myself up sometimes.

4. I'm right handed, but when I practiced martial arts I always fought left handed. I'm a better shot left handed too.

5. I can sleep anywhere, anytime. Sitting up, laying down, in a car, on a plane, in the middle of an argument. Doesn't matter. Give me 30 seconds and I'll be snoring.

Bonus weirdness, because Susie brought it up. I must have ketchup on my french fries if they're crinkle cut, otherwise, no thanks. And the only other time I eat ketchup is with grilled cheese sandwiches. Unless I've got a bowl of tomato soup, then I'll dip the sandwich in there.

If you want to play, leave a link in the comments.

Posted by: Ted at 08:02 PM | category: Links
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1 The blogless wonder is in a different building on a temporary contract. Once his contract is up, he's out of there too. So take your chances for lunch with either one of us while you still can!

Posted by: Princess Cat at December 15, 2005 08:33 PM (leeb2)

2 Nothing says "comfort food" like tomato soup and a grilled cheese sandwich--dipping is required. However, you could probably shoot me before I would put ketchup on the same sandwich...

Weird? Moi? No way, Jose!

Posted by: Susie at December 15, 2005 08:55 PM (a0oF7)

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National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) is over. On the right sidebar is my personal not-quite high point, the bar reflects the last time I'd updated, before I lost that chunk of story. I'd gotten to over 30,000 words when that happened, and the aftermath left me with a little more than 25,000 done as of right now.

Needless to say, that was kind of a momentum crusher. I haven't written a word of it since, although I have opened the file a couple of times. I just haven't had the desire to recreate.

But as of now, I will. I'm going to finish this, dammit. Before the end of December too. I need a title too. Maybe after I post it and y'all read it, we'll have a contest or something. Hmmmm.....

File this next bit under "Yay!": Dawn made her goal! Fifty thousand words in November.

*standing ovation*

Those of us who tried and fell short realize just what an accomplishment that is. So head on over to Dawn's place and congratulate her. She put a helluva lot of work into it.

Posted by: Ted at 06:08 AM | category: Links
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1 Aww, shucks. *blush*

I feel so bad about your lost words. But the ones that will take their place will be stronger, no doubt.

I hate to sound like a goody-goody, but I tossed my file on my webserver every morning. Just in case.

I got to 25,000 words last year and gave up. I think that's how I got the motivation this time around -- I wanted to show myself I could do it. And, like you, I'm going to take December to finish the plot.

In any event, congratulations for getting as far as you did -- it's HARD to find time with all of life's little calamities to commit 25 words to a document, let alone 25,000.

*standing ovation right back*

Posted by: dawn at December 01, 2005 04:07 PM (jFpDX)

2 This title came to me in a dream: Send In The Troubadours. It's just like "send in the cavalry" only completely different. Will that work, huh, will it?

Posted by: Tuning Spork at December 01, 2005 09:46 PM (splRH)

3 Or how 'bout Tell It To The Troubadours?

When Doves Attack?

Hitler's Evil Twin?

My So-Called Wife?

The Real Hatfield?

Bitchslap!?

The Land Of Harmonic Fire?

Okay, okay, I'll read it first...

Posted by: Tuning Spork at December 01, 2005 09:57 PM (splRH)

4 I wrote about 300 words on the first day and then decided I had absolutely no idea what else to write, I had no time to write it and I just didn't feel like doing it anymore. Maybe next year. It sounds like a good idea for 11 months and then a bad one that one month.

Posted by: Brandon at December 03, 2005 04:06 AM (CJwGX)

5 I am utterly amazed at the moxy it takes to do this. Few things impress me more than the ability to simply sit down and write. A novel in a month? The thought causes my eyebrows to elevate to the nape of my neck.

Congratz to everyone who participated... I anxiously await your finished work, Ted!

Posted by: BLUE at December 05, 2005 10:23 AM (hDMsP)

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I meant to.

Colored bubbles. Bubbles of color. I mean, when you blow the freakin' bubbles, they float away in technicolor. Time was, you needed blotter acid to see stuff like this.

Very cool, and you won't believe the vision, persistance, and science it took to make it happen. Go here, and then follow Rich's link to the fascinating background story.

Posted by: Ted at 04:20 AM | category: Links
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