Unfortunately, it's mine. It was handed to me by Brendoman who scored big in this week's Blogger Bowl and stomped my respectable score like a steamroller over a grape. Still, if Jamal Lewis hadn't been a last minute scratch and woulda rushed for 485 yards and scored 12 touchdowns, I coulda beat him.

Now next week I face Victor's Rats of Chaos. He's tied for first place and on a serious roll. I have two things going for me. First off, the Rocket Jones Hot Jets cheerleaders, which I'll list in a minute. And secondly, I got an interesting email last weekend with a link I found very intriguing.

This might be enough to topple the Rats of Chaos. While victory ultimately comes on the playing field, the morale-destroying effect of this kind of information cannot be ignored.

They're cute! They're cuddly! They're not naked! (see how silly that looks as a selling point ladies?) They *are* the Hot Jets!
annika, of annika's journal!
Denita, of Who Tends The Fires!
Gir, of Your Moosey Fate!
LeeAnn, of The Cheese Stands Alone!
Sarah, of Trying To Grok!
Kat, of Mostly Fluff!
Big Hair, of Left & Right!
Jennifer, of Jennifer's History and Stuff!
Heather, of Angelweave!
Margi, of Margi Lowry!
Nic, of Shoes, Ships, and Sealing Wax!
Lemur Girl, of... uh, Lemur Girl!
Lynn S., of Reflections in d minor!
Susie, of Practical Penumbra!
Blogoline, of Blogoline's Journal!
Cindy, of Dusting My Brain!
Wegglywoo, of On the Beach at the End of the World!
Dawn of Dawn Enterprises!
Stevie, of Caught In The XFire!
Helen, of Everyday Stranger!
Mookie, of MookieRiffic!
Tink, of Flitting Here and There!

Posted by: Ted at 11:18 AM | category: Links
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1 "They're not naked!"

...as far as you know.

Posted by: Jennifer at November 30, 2004 08:05 PM (4LNEe)

2 You're just upset because my cheerleaders make most of your cheerleaders jump up on a chair and squeal like French soldiers.

Posted by: Victor at November 30, 2004 09:25 PM (etHvD)

3 WHAT? I thought the Sound Tigers destroyed Victor thrice in the first week!

Oh, well. The season continu-u-u-u-u-es...

Posted by: Tuning Spork at November 30, 2004 11:51 PM (NgWVQ)

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Check out this short transcript of a radio spot heard by the Everlasting Phelps. Pretty darn funny.

Posted by: Ted at 09:00 AM | category: Links
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Now this guy is a rocketeer. Notice on his rocket picture page, the banner at the top that says "Rocket Chronicles". Most importantly, note that the well-dressed gentleman in said banner in no way looks like a terrorist (got that BATFE?). Also, he brought along his wife, who carries a big purse full of that little paper you trade for rocket supplies.

Cool pictures Mr. Ritchie, you'll be on the blogroll next time I venture into it.

Posted by: Ted at 05:13 AM | category: Links
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Thanks to VegasBaby for this chuckle.

Posted by: Ted at 06:54 PM | category: Links
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Smoking Toaster has me on their blogroll, along with some other familiar places. I'm honored to be included in such august company. He's funny in an evil grin kinda way, and I felt an immediate kinship when I read about his battles with cute fuzzy widdle squirrels hydroencephalic tree vermin. Go check him out, it's good stuff and a nice change after all that turkey.

In the not-even-close-to-safe-for-work department, we've got:

Kimochi-ii is a regular stop of mine, because I like to look at oriental ladies in various stages of undress (although I'll never understand the Japanese fascination for girls in "schoolgirl" uniforms). Well, the guy who runs the place has started a new blog called Erotic Zipai. The name refers to a Chinese word that means a picture of yourself, taken by yourself. In other words, a self-portrait, but it's specific to cameras. In other words (again), it's oriental ladies in various stages of undress, as photographed by their own exhibitionistic hand (and bless every last one of 'em).

I love the internet.

Posted by: Ted at 07:05 PM | category: Links
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Women's Roller Derby is making a comeback.

Nobody's quitting their day jobs yet, but the night belongs to ladies who go by names like Syble Disobedience, Baby Ruthless and Ginger Snap. Women who leave their professional personnas at home when they lace up the skates and do battle on the banked oval.

There were at least two recent attempts to revive Roller Derby, both resulting in WWF-type extravaganza's - long on style, way short on substance. Personally, I loved old-time Roller Derby (Go Bay Bombers!), and hope these ladies can grow this into something wonderful again.

Posted by: Ted at 05:17 AM | category: Links
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1 T-BIRDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: Victor at November 27, 2004 08:29 AM (etHvD)

2 Boy, was that obnoxious or what? Feel free to edit out several hundred exclamation points, Ted!

Posted by: Victor at November 27, 2004 08:30 AM (etHvD)

3 Booooooo! LA T-Birds, blech. Philadelphia Warriors, blech. Midwest Pioneers, blech. The *only* team worth remembering is my Bay Bombers!

Remember Ann Covello and her ever-changing hair color?

Posted by: Ted at November 27, 2004 09:26 PM (ZjSa7)

4 The Texas Rollergirls have been rolling for several years-They're the pioneers of rollerderby. Yah, they have the skimpy costumes but these women are true athletes-There's dozens of new leagues springing up across the country but those girls don't yet have the experience to deliver a real show. Don't knock it til' you see the real thing. (And unlike old-school derby their fights aren't rehearsed.)

www.txrollergirls.com

Posted by: Derby Lover at June 02, 2005 02:10 AM (iJs30)

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Better late than never.

Matt's Houston Aero's defeated my Cleveland Barons, so in accordance with the rules, his team's logo will be prominently displayed for 24 hours.

Not a problem, it's a pretty cool logo ('cept for the colors).

Posted by: Ted at 09:00 PM | category: Links
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The legendary ACME catalog, in all its inspired glory.

Thanks to Mark of Auteriffic for the pointer.

Posted by: Ted at 12:17 PM | category: Links
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From Dustbury, a link to the 1001 Greatest Singles, compiled in 1989.

Top five from that list:

1. I Heard It Through the Grapevine - "Gaye, Marvin" 1968
2. Johnny B. Goode - "Berry, Chuck" 1958
3. Papa's Got a Brand New Bag -"Brown, James" 1965
4. Reach Out I'll Be There - "Four Tops, The" 1966
5. You've Lost That Lovin' Feelin' - "Righteous Brothers, The" 1964

Next up, Roberto of DynamoBuzz nails that link I couldn't find, to Rolling Stone magazine's 500 Greatest Songs of All Time.

Here's my original post.

Posted by: Ted at 06:05 AM | category: Links
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Ding Dong, the bitch goes down!

Dan Rather stepping down from CBS news anchor.

he had agreed with CBS executives last summer that after the Nov. 2 election would be the right time to leave.

I'm dancing in my jammies!

Ding Dong is the sound this nutjob makes when you rattle his head.

Retired running back Ricky Williams has turned up once again, this time at a Northern California school for holistic medicine.

"I realized a while back that I have an innate ability to be compassionate,'' he told the San Francisco Chronicle, "and I saw that the strength of compassion is something that healers have and healers use.''

Not everything he says is from outer space though.

Williams' agent, Leigh Steinberg, and his attorney, David Cornwell, both think it's likely that he'll return to football next year. Steinberg calls Williams' departure "a sabbatical.''

But Williams said, "I understand their wishful thinking. It's easy math. If I play, it puts more money in their pocket.''

Nah, he's just a flake, and I still think he'll return to pro football for the bucks.

Posted by: Ted at 01:29 PM | category: Links
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Stupid Gifts. 'Nuff said.

Lame Gifts, Mother-in-Law style.

Worst Gifts (that a man can buy a woman).

Perfect Gifts, especially for the goatherder in your life.

Romantic Gifts, ranging from pure romance to downright naughty!

Which could lead to The Gift That Keeps On Giving.

Posted by: Ted at 12:04 PM | category: Links
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There was some serious excitement going on this week in the league! Besides another victory for yours truly (3 in a row, Yay Rockets!), Nick bumped off the suddenly-vincible Fire Ants and Victor claimed a share of first place by handling annika. Jim also edged Brendoman by 1 point to hang in at the middle of the pack*.

Now, cue the music and cut on the spotlights! Despite warnings from the NFL and the FCC, I'd like to introduce you to the greatest cheerleading squad both inter and outernet**. Ladies and Gentlemen, the Hot Jets!

Heather, of Angelweave!
Margi, of Margi Lowry!
Nic, of Shoes, Ships, and Sealing Wax!
Lemur Girl, of... uh, Lemur Girl!
LeeAnn, of The Cheese Stands Alone!
Sarah, of Trying To Grok!
Kat, of Mostly Fluff!
Big Hair, of Left & Right!
Jennifer, of Jennifer's History and Stuff!
Lynn S., of Reflections in d minor!
Susie, of Practical Penumbra!
Blogoline, of Blogoline's Journal!
Cindy, of Dusting My Brain!
Wegglywoo, of On the Beach at the End of the World!
Dawn of Dawn Enterprises!
Stevie, of Caught In The XFire!
Helen, of Everyday Stranger!
Mookie, of MookieRiffic!
annika, of annika's journal!
Denita, of Who Tends The Fires!
Gir, of Your Moosey Fate!
Tink, of Flitting Here and There!

Next week I match up against Brendoman. I'll have to play better than this week to beat him, for sure.

*Sorry for those bloggers I didn't link to, I don't know exactly who you are, and don't really have the time right now to dig.

**And no, I'm not apologizing for that either.

Posted by: Ted at 05:45 AM | category: Links
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Hot Swedish babe alert! If you don't hear from me in three days, send more vodka. Pictures and wild stories coming up... now where did I leave that number to the bail bondsman...

Posted by: Ted at 08:10 PM | category: Links
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1 Most excellent...

Beware. That bear is wild. Ask Eric-he had to ply her with copious amounts of post-hangover aspirin.

Posted by: Helen at November 23, 2004 03:00 AM (VlMJn)

2 I can't wait till I get my chance of up-close-and-personal debauchery!!!

Posted by: mitzi at November 23, 2004 06:31 AM (Ea391)

3 Pictures! We want pictures!

Posted by: Pixy Misa at November 26, 2004 10:42 PM (+S1Ft)

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Sarah shares a way cool photo and the story with it.

The 2002 Floral Flag is 740 feet long and 390 feet wide and maintains the proper Flag dimensions as described in Executive Order #10834. This Flag is 6.65 acres and is the first Floral Flag to be planted with 5 pointed Stars comprised of White Larkspur. Each Star is 24 feet in diameter; Each Stripe is 30 feet wide.

Check it out.

Posted by: Ted at 07:23 AM | category: Links
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Weggy has posted a picture over at her place that is so... words fail.

It's not safe for work, but definitely something to see. Enough to make an atheist reconsider.

Posted by: Ted at 04:22 PM | category: Links
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1 Definitely not enough ass blogging in the ol' 'sphere

Posted by: SayUncle at November 18, 2004 08:18 PM (GvklR)

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I tell you, it's a scandal that I'm not rich already. Ideas pop out of my head like golden eggs from a goose's patoot. For instance:

Gir of Your Moosey Fate is hosting this weeks Carnival of the Cats.

There's a Carnival of the Recipes making the rounds too.

Who wants to host the first Carnival of the Cat Recipes?

You saw it coming, but you continued reading anyway, didn't you?

Posted by: Ted at 06:05 AM | category: Links
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Some links that should have been done long ago, now added to the sidebar.

Maelstrom (aka Rich), he flies rockets, which automatically makes him cool. He's also a heckuva nice guy and has a great joke up on his new blog.

Derek, aka Son of Cheese. Let me tell you, this guy describes restaraunt visits like DeSade described girlfriends. His toons are first rate too! Oh, and he plays rec-league hockey! Three very good reasons to pay him a visit.

Catt. I'm looking forward to meeting this funny lady and her family in the near future, since my oldest daughter will be going to school right near her neck of the woods (whatever that really means).

Jenn, who's little man plays hockey. Like she says, it ain't NHL, it's better!

Brian J Noggle, part of a duet with Munuviana's own Heather. He's smart, funny and interesting. In other words he's just like me, and since you're already here, who needs him, right? Wrong. There's no such thing as too much smartfunnyinteresting (although I'm still working on the weight thing).

Dr. Funk -- Canadian Funk? How could I pass this up?

Professor Chaos -- He linked me in a post, I'm putting him on the sidebar. Let's see if it's reciprocal. Let's see if I can spell reciprocal.

Sheila O'Malley - I have no idea how I wound up on her blogroll, but I'm a sucker for redheads good writing, so welcome to the sidebar and thanks for including me on yours. It doesn't hurt that the last O'Malley I knew was played by Tom Selleck in High Road to China. He's not my type.

Posted by: Ted at 05:35 AM | category: Links
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Over at 1000 Words, the latest photoshop contest is "What if Pirates Ruled the World?"

A full broadsides to that scurvy dog Frinklin for pointing it out.

Posted by: Ted at 05:46 AM | category: Links
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Alan E. Brain (who you should be reading every day), proposes this curriculum for those who want Creationism taught alongside Evolution, and I'll give you this little bit before sending you off to read the rest:

In keeping with our American heritage, the primary theory being taught will be that of the Lakota Nation of Native Americans, and the majority of the course will concentrate on the roles of Thunderbird and Coyote, and experimental verification of the Theory. Students engaged in Advanced studies will perform a critical analysis and comparison of the primary Theory with that of the Arunta people of Northern Australia, in particular the concept of the "Dreamtime" and the role of the Rainbow Serpent.

His last line nails it:

After all, this is about "Science" and not any particular religion, isn't it?

Go. Read.

Posted by: Ted at 04:57 AM | category: Links
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I was laughing to near tears over this:

I mean, look, the state of Texas has a law--and it is still enforced--that says owning 5 marital aids is perfectly legal, but owning 6 is a felony. Stupid? You bet. Constitutional? You bet. And, really, IÂ’ve never come across any situations in which more than 4 were ever needed anyway.

Not what you expect to read in the middle of a discussion about Roe vs. Wade and Constitutionality. Nice ambush, Dale.

Posted by: Ted at 12:10 PM | category: Links
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