The allegedly uninteresting annika (don't you believe it!) was my opponent this past week. She's also one of the Hot Jets cheerleaders, so although she's sad about being soundly spanked (sorry, couldn't resist) in front of everyone (really, it just happens), she also got to cheer and wave her pompoms to celebrate a Rockets victory! Because we know I'm all about feelgood happytimes, vaulting into 6th place is enough excuse for me to party (in public I'm gracious, in private I dance enough to make Mark Gasteneau blush).

Also of note, congrats to Daniel for knocking off the previously undefeated Fire Ants.

So next week I face the cellar-dwelling Vehement Spittle, no pushover to be sure. I am equipped with my sturdy eye goggles and antibacterial spittle sponge just in case, and expect another resounding victory.

And as always, because they're the best and because it annoys Victor, may I present the finest group of cheerleaders to grace a virtual sideline, the Hot Jets!

annika, of annika's journal!
Denita, of Who Tends The Fires!
Gir, of Your Moosey Fate!
Tink, of Flitting Here and There!
Sarah, of Trying To Grok!
Kat, of Mostly Fluff!
Big Hair, of Left & Right!
Jennifer, of Jennifer's History and Stuff!
Heather, of Angelweave!
Margi, of Margi Lowry!
Nic, of Shoes, Ships, and Sealing Wax!
Lemur Girl, of... uh, Lemur Girl!
LeeAnn, of The Cheese Stands Alone!
Lynn S., of Reflections in d minor!
Susie, of Practical Penumbra!
Blogoline, of Blogoline's Journal!
Cindy, of Dusting My Brain!
Wegglywoo, of On the Beach at the End of the World!
Dawn of Dawn Enterprises!
Stevie, of Caught In The XFire!
Helen, of Everyday Stranger!
Mookie, of MookieRiffic!

Posted by: Ted at 12:01 PM | category: Links
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I haven't been keeping up very well with the Hockey Whoopass Jamboree. No good reasons, just lame excuses.

But I guess I picked a good day to check back in, eh? Cleveland defeats the Manitoba Moose 3-2 in an overtime shootout! Take that, Gir!!!

Sometimes it's good to be an Earth creature.

Posted by: Ted at 12:10 PM | category: Links
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1 Stupid Earth Monkey!

Posted by: Gir at November 12, 2004 10:34 PM (yffrg)

2 Is anyone else still playing? Not to be a whiner, but I've won a few games and not seen my cute little pirate displayed. At least tonight Portland plays Albany, and that's one blogger I know I have some sway over!

Posted by: nic at November 13, 2004 12:10 PM (etHvD)

3 Nic, I can't criticize anyone else because I've been pretty lax about following along myself. I suggest that we report the miscreants to the proper authorities, because no one expects the Spanish Inquisition!

Posted by: Ted at November 14, 2004 12:50 PM (ZjSa7)

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Say "thank you" to a veteran today (Vadergrrrl, anything more is above and beyond the call of duty *grin*). Love 'em or hate 'em, veterans are the reason that you can have an opinion of your own, and that you can express yourself freely.

And for those inclined to do a little digging, here's a site with various information about the history behind today and plenty of links for more.

Posted by: Ted at 08:38 AM | category: Links
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This article has some interesting ideas about rule changes to improve the game.

Thanks to Off Wing Opinion for the pointer.

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Once again, the Rockets are on a roll. After a decisive victory this past weekend, we once again face the lovely and talented Syble annika, who'll somehow manage to be on both sidelines in the upcoming game.

In the meantime, check out any or all of these links, each hosted by a wonderful, intelligent and sweet Rockets fan. The Hot Jets cheerleaders:
Helen, of Everyday Stranger!
annika, of annika's journal!
Lynn S., of Reflections in d minor!
Susie, of Practical Penumbra!
Blogoline, of Blogoline's Journal!
Cindy, of Dusting My Brain!
Wegglywoo, of On the Beach at the End of the World!
Dawn of Dawn Enterprises!
Stevie, of Caught In The XFire!
Mookie, of MookieRiffic!
Denita, of Who Tends The Fires!
Gir, of Your Moosey Fate!
Tink, of Flitting Here and There!
Sarah, of Trying To Grok!
Kat, of Mostly Fluff!
Big Hair, of Left & Right!
Jennifer, of Jennifer's History and Stuff!
Heather, of Angelweave!
Margi, of Margi Lowry!
Nic, of Shoes, Ships, and Sealing Wax!
Lemur Girl, of... uh, Lemur Girl!
LeeAnn, of The Cheese Stands Alone!

Posted by: Ted at 05:21 AM | category: Links
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Robert the Llama Butcher has been keeping us posted on his gripping battle against savage nature. The chaotic forces of the wild have waged unrelenting warfare upon his neat and orderly bastion of civilization, and so far in his desperation he's managed to stem the tide, but not completely halt the devastation.

Earlier this year, Robert made a public plea for help, asking any with previous experience with this sort of enemy to please assist him.

Amidst the subsequent flood of calls for napalm, claymore mines, razor wire and beamed microwave weapons (mmmmm, toasty!), my quiet advice to use human urine went unheeded.

Now I based this on two things. First, I saw it once in a movie (Doc Hollywood), and we all know that Hollywood knows what's best for us. Secondly, I asked an aquaintance I know who is something of an expert on nature. Mr. X (he asked me not to use his real name on the internet because he fears our evil government) is eminently qualified. He drives an old but functional VW microbus with an ecology sticker on the bumper and he is a member of the American Greens Party, our indigenous friends of nature.

This is what he told me; "Human urine is the perfect method of area denial against natural forces. Almost all animals will avoid an area with that scent because we're all chauvanistic biped assholes who think we own the planet."

He also told me that he recalls seeing it in a movie once. When I asked how that was possible, seeing as how he didn't own a television (evil government beaming brain-controlling waves through the screen, ya know), he admitted that someone might have told him about it.

This is an educated man in touch with the world around him. Mr. X invited me in to try his latest culinary creation: Sinsemilla Brownies with Patchouli frosting. Fortunately I was pressed for time and had to decline, but not before hearing about how he has entered variations of that same basic recipe to every Betty Crocker recipe contest since 1964. He is convinced that he has taken first prize every year, but since he dares not send his real name and address through the governmnet controlled mail system, well, the Betty Crocker people can't contact him to let him know that he's won. Such is the life of one who refuses to be a tool of the man.

Another possibility occurred to me. Robert just may not be very familiar with our wildlife in Northern Virginia. Like everything else in such close proximity to Washington DC, even the animals achieve a cunning and cynicism not encountered elsewhere in the wild (evil government mind-beams? I merely note, you decide for yourselves).

I once saw a diagram of a favorite tactic used by deer in this area. A classic case of misdirection, a deer sneaks up on a hunter behind a tree then taps his shoulder. When the hunter looks that way, the deer tiptoes away in the opposite direction, smirking like a chimp (Mr. X used that simile often during our conversation, it's kinda stuck in my mind at the moment).

But Northern Virginia deer have taken the misdirection to new levels of sophistication. They have learned from the hunters, and are now using their own camoflage. The deer in our region are now wearing coveralls and posing as county workers. Their lack of hands poses no problems, because no one expects county workers to actually be doing anything anyways. It's a near perfect disguise.

So Robert, my advice to you regarding Bambi the Balrog and his evil sidekick Thumper (who may or may not be in the employ of our evil government) is simple and direct. You don't need explosives (for this, otherwise they're big fun), all you need is a supersoaker squirtrifle and your own human bodily functions. Urinate into the tank every time you have to go. Drink plenty of beer (volume) and eat asparagus (odor) to assist. Then, next time you see a group of county workers in your neighborhood pretending to be doing roadwork or such, do a quick check. County vehicle? Jumpsuits? Multiple "workers"? Remember, misdirection works because they give you just enough to let your own mind fill in the details you expect to see. Strap on that supersoaker and charge them. Spray them with your human essence. I guarantee that you'll instantly scatter them in a panic to get away. And when they send reinforcements, probably in a different type of uniform - misdirection, remember? - greet them at your door with your supersoaker of righteousness as well.

Let me know how this works out for you, eh?

Posted by: Ted at 08:25 AM | category: Links
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Hauntingly beautiful ice photography. Thanks to the Flea for pointing this one out.

Posted by: Ted at 06:18 AM | category: Links
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This is the best post I have ever read. Anywhere. Ever.

Posted by: Ted at 12:50 PM | category: Links
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Here's a simple idea who's time has come. Visit five blogs you usually just lurk at, and leave a comment. Visit three blogs you've never been to before and leave a comment. Even if it's just "Hi, it's Leave A Comment Day", that's fine. We are but fragile flowers who bask in showers of attention Everyone likes a little feedback, otherwise we feel like we're just talking to ourselves. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

(cross posted to Munuviana too)

Posted by: Ted at 06:07 AM | category: Links
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Over at Captain's Quarters, Ed says this:

There is a difference between an enemy and an opponent, a distinction lost on more than a few people on both sides of our necessary and beneficial political divide. Osama bin Laden, Abu Masab al-Zarqawi, and Mullah Omar are our enemies; John Kerry and John Edwards were our political opponents, but first they are our fellow Americans.

Remembering that, send good thoughts and prayers towards Mrs. Edwards, who has been diagnosed with breast cancer. My best wishes for a complete recovery.

Posted by: Ted at 07:56 PM | category: Links
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The unsinkable William Hung is back, this time with a CD full of Christmas music.

I actually heard one of the tracks this morning on the radio. Terrible, but not make-your-ears-bleed terrible. Lots of backup singers, which helps a lot.

Posted by: Ted at 06:08 AM | category: Links
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According to Maxim magazine, Comedy Central is coming out with a new animated show called "Drawn Together". Taking direct aim at "The Real World", the toon is populated with several stereotypical animated characters living together. You can now see what happens when ingenue Princess Clara meets urban rocker Foxxy Love (think Josie and the Pussycats).

Hint: there's a hot tub girl-on-girl kissing scene, complete with a Disney-like song "A Black Chick's Tongue In My Mouth."

Posted by: Ted at 08:01 PM | category: Links
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Eldritch rituals.

Santanic rituals.

Posted by: Ted at 06:10 AM | category: Links
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LeeAnn was commenter number 3000 and celebrated by doing cartwheels and splits.

Of course, it was inevitable that the batteries in my camera were dead. Story of my life.

Posted by: Ted at 06:01 AM | category: Links
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