That's me. I don't know how I got on Derek's good side* but all I do is mention my sucky banner and he whomps up a great one instanter.

Thanks muchly.

*Oh, now I remember. It involved gifts.

Posted by: Ted at 05:55 PM | category: Links
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Like the title? How very zen of me.

Yeah, right.

On Saturday I once again travelled into our nation's capitol, destination: The Smithsonian's Hirschhorn Museum. When Dawn and I visited a few weeks ago, it was raining hard all day, so we didn't get to experience one exhibit that sounded cool.

It was called "Words Drawn In Water" (this was the last weekend for it), and it was a walking guided tour while wearing an iPod shuffle and headphones. The audio track told you where to walk and pointed out various things along the way, and also included snatches of music, interviews and ambient sounds as you walked along. But this wasn't a regular guided tour, because there were several surreal moments when unexpected insights and visions were planted in your mind's eye.

Very nice, and I'm bummed that it's over, because I definitely would've loved to have gone again.

Afterwards, I visited the Air & Space Museum, specifically to see SpaceShipOne. I had prepared myself to be underwhelmed, because so often you see something like that and think, "wow, that's smaller than I expected." Not this time though. It was actually quite a bit larger than I thought it would be. It's hanging from the ceiling, between the Spirit of St. Louis and the Bell X-1 (the orange X-plane, I think it's the X-1).

Brandon, over at Down With Pants!, is also going to participate in NaNoWriMo. He's also playing in the Hockey Whoopass Jamboree, and kindly displayed the logo of my beloved Sharks when his Kings came up just short last weekend (what a heartbreaker, but better you than me, bucko!).

Words. Check.
Water. Check.
Ice. Check.
Air. Check.

Bye bye.

Posted by: Ted at 12:06 PM | category: Links
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National Novel Writing Month.

I know of two friends who're going for it (and/or the variation thereof), and I've been poking the idea with a stick. It hasn't jumped up and bit me yet, but it's not fully awakened yet either. We shall see.

Posted by: Ted at 05:55 AM | category: Links
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1 I had a full-on panic this morning, thinking it started today. Because I have no opening scene. None. I have no idea where to start because I would just rather write in my journal about things that are real.

But alas, I have a day to mull things over and get inspired. I hope the muse visits us all. I mean, how often is one encouraged to ramble at length? I think this mad dash is more of a stress relief than a stressor. Good luck, and you're in good company!

Posted by: dawn at October 31, 2005 08:25 AM (Dh1V0)

2 Now there's an idea. I'd love to read your journal. *ducks* LOL

Posted by: Ted at October 31, 2005 08:54 AM (blNMI)

3 Hey Ted,

I'm giving it a go this year. I did some pre-plotting this year; I have titles for about 10 chapters, a couple of character sketches, and some rough scraps of dialogue that I am pulling together.

However, Buckethead and I both got Civ IV a few days ago, and are considering starting an online multiplayer game, so our word counts may fall short of the 50,000 goal.

Posted by: JohnL at October 31, 2005 02:50 PM (YVul2)

4 I created a little bit of family tension this weekend. My mom came out from Ohio to spend time with her grandson. I figured, hey! What better opportunity to play Civ IV? Mrs. Buckethead did not agree. At all, really. So we went to see Wallace and Grommit, and did a bunch of other stuff.

So I stayed up til three or four in the morning Friday night, Saturday night, last night... and now I'm tatered.

I need to resist the call of Civ IV... Must resist... But I've got the Germans up against the wall, and the Egyptians are getting uppity... Oh crap.

Writing will be difficult. Damn Sid Meiers!

Posted by: buckethead at October 31, 2005 04:51 PM (ztNrs)

5 The first Sid Meiers game I played was something on the Atari 800 - split screen - you in your F86 Super Sabre vs Migs. I spent hours shooting down commies.

Posted by: Ted at October 31, 2005 06:41 PM (+OVgL)

6 JohnL, you are waaay ahead of me on this. I might just start writing and see where it takes me, because I wasn't even considering this a week ago.

Posted by: Ted at October 31, 2005 06:42 PM (+OVgL)

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Wegglywoo has a fun look at beach bathing boxes, down under.

Posted by: Ted at 07:51 AM | category: Links
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Carve your own virtual pumpkin here.

Here's mine (click for big, scary jump-out-at-you size):

Thanks to The Ministry of Minor Perfidy for the pointer.

Posted by: Ted at 09:24 PM | category: Links
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I took the "Which Historical General Are You" test, found over at Naked Villainy.

Results in the extended entry. more...

Posted by: Ted at 05:18 AM | category: Links
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We Walk the Levee.

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T-Shirt.

From Buckethead, at the Ministry of Minor Perfidy.

Posted by: Ted at 06:11 AM | category: Links
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This page gives directions on how to knit a replacement breast for women who've undergone a mastectomy.

What a beautiful idea! Thanks to Rachel Ann for the pointer.

Posted by: Ted at 08:17 AM | category: Links
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This is kind of a non-linking linking thing, but if you go over to the right sidebar and scroll down (or do the search thing... not the box, the cntl-F search), look for Two Nervous Dogs and click on it.

Behold one of the funniest, most original and creative people I've never met but wish I could someday.

Posted by: Ted at 03:58 PM | category: Links
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John posted pictures taken at last weekend's get together.

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Robbo the Llamabutcher has spent considerable time defending the ol' homestead from deer and rabbits. The cute, cuddly and innocent woodland creatures believe that a beautifully maintained flower garden means "salad bar". You can try to scare them away, you can put up fences or many other time-tested methods that don't work all that well, because when Bambi and Thumper get hungry your garden looks a helluva lot more appetizing than Mother Nature's ordinary fare.

Being a fellow gardener (although I don't share the wildlife problem), I was inspired the other night while watching an old movie on TV. So Rob, here's what you do...

First, build a sandbagged bunker atop one corner of your roof, near the trouble spot in the garden.

Next, hire George Takei. I can't imagine that he's not available, and it'll be a nice change for him to dress up in cammo fatigues rather than that threadbare Star Trek uniform.

You'll need to do some secret prep work, probably at night so that your neighbors and the animals don't know exactly what your defenses are.

When the time comes next Spring, be in the bunker with George. And when you spot Bambi and friends dropping by for a midnight gnosh, George will smile at you inscrutably and say, "I was prepared for that". Then he pushes a button on a small box in front of you and FWOOM!!!! Bambi, Thumper, and the rest of the critters are incinerated by carefully laid out trenches full of foo gas.

Remember, the key to successful defense is overlapping layers and depth, so you should be prepared for a second, third, or even fourth wave of mixed-grill on the hoof.

I wondered about the authenticity aspects, and decided that you should probably forego blowing up the little dog with a mortar. To make up for it though, you could wait for the inevitable visit from PETA, and then snare one and fling him into a wall of punji stakes. That would probably persuade them to leave and might even cause the local police to look upon the agressive but justified defense of your personal property in a more lenient light.

Let me know how it goes.

Posted by: Ted at 05:12 AM | category: Links
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Last night, I had the extreme pleasure of meeting several local - and one very not-local - bloggers for dinner in Olde Towne Alexandria. John Lanius of Texas Best Grok got the ball rolling a couple of weeks ago via email, because he would be in town on business, and was wondering if it would be possible to set up a blogmeet.

Besides John, those in attendance included Cat of A Swift Kick and a Bandaid, her blogless friend Matt, Dawn of Caterwauling, Lysander (who is alive and kicking, despite the evidence at his blog), Robert the Llamabutcher, Naked Villainy's Maximum Leader, and Buckethead of The Ministry of Minor Perfidy. Oh, and yours truly.

As usual, it was like getting together with old friends even if most of us had never met each other. The food was good (mine was, I don't recall hearing anyone else mentioning it), and the conversation excellent. Topics ranged from the history of communism to TShirt Hell, and just about anything and everything in between. Four and a half hours later, we settled up and on the way out the conversations continued on the sidewalk out front.

For the locals, Nic has suggested a get-together for a Washington Capitals hockey game one evening. I'm up for that!

Posted by: Ted at 12:50 AM | category: Links
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1 Envy.

The only Munuvian I have met in person (so far) is Simon.

Posted by: Pixy Misa at October 16, 2005 11:19 AM (QriEg)

2 Well then, Pixy, get yer ass on over Stateside! You will be treated regally, I promise!

Posted by: Tuning Spork at October 16, 2005 08:47 PM (Kfkyk)

3 But that would involve travel.

Posted by: Pixy Misa at October 17, 2005 04:13 AM (RbYVY)

4 I guess he's waiting for the age of teletransport or he's waiting for the next 38 months to go bye before he takes another vacation?

Still, I'm jelous too. Some of these peeps are some of my favorites.

Posted by: michele at October 18, 2005 05:52 PM (UrdCE)

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If it were, I'm not sure I would tell it.

“I was driving my wife’s car the other day and saw a little round thing in the cupholder, thought it was a cigarrette lighter. I looked at it, it had a little handle you turn and push down so I thought, yeah, it’s a lighter, I wonder what the wife is doing with this- she don’t smoke. So I pushed the button down to see if it still worked and maced myself. It weren’t any damned fun, I’ll tell you that.”

Thanks to Random Nuclear Strikes for the pointer.

Posted by: Ted at 10:10 AM | category: Links
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Derek is a mad genius.

(click to add bacon, Dave would've wanted it that way)

Posted by: Ted at 04:11 AM | category: Links
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Check out these beautiful galleries of photographs taken by Amy's anti-Mother-in-Law (must be a Krypton thing).

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I'm sorry, but I laughed so hard at this. Warning: animal lovers or people without a sense of humor should NOT click that link.

Thanks to the Llama Butchers for the link.

Posted by: Ted at 08:14 AM | category: Links
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It's all in the details.

With all the rain we've been having the past two days (measured in inches), our basement is flooding a little bit. So I've been doing the towels on the floor, spin and dry, sop up the excess from the carpet with the cleaner, etc. That's the hassle part of it. The benefit side is that the creeks around us are all full to bursting, and when I went to let the dogs out this morning, you can hear the water rushing in the background. Very nice.

The Carnival of the Recipes is up over at the Glittering Eye. There are the usual collection of outstanding dishes for every taste, contributed by people from all over the world. Go check it out.

Last week I was in the back upstairs bedroom (3rd floor of our townhouse), painting near the window, when I was startled by a flash just outside the glass. I witnessed a magnificent little aerial battle as a large blackbird was chased off by one of our local hawks. They were like two nimble fighter jets, wings extended, banking and darting as the blackbird tried to shake the hawk from his tail. The hawk was close enough that, had he wanted, he could have snatched a tail feather from the blackbird with his talons. They fell two stories and, at the last second the blackbird broke hard left, over the back fence and out of the area. The hawk leveled out and glided across the back meadow to the wood, where he perched in a tall tree and stayed for a while, as if surveying for further intruders.

When I got home last night I checked on the hockey scores and noted that Brian's St. Louis Blues were in the process of whooping on my beloved Sharks. This morning I inteded to go find a Blues logo to post here, in accordance with the prophesy the rules of the Whoopass Jamboree, when lo and behold, I discovered that the Sharks had come back to win. Brian is a better sport about it than I, because I'd probably have to create an extended entry to protect innocent eyes from my cursing and ranting.

In related news, Victor beat me in the first week matchup of our blogger fantasy hockey league. I'm completely lost as to how this league works and what the rules are, it's unlike anything I've ever seen before. Not an excuse, just sayin'. Congrats Victor, let's hope Bondra can keep it up, eh?

Finally, yesterday I had the pleasure of spending the day walking through several Smithsonian art museums with Dawn. We started at the Hirschhorn, and afterwards (like Victor mentioned) walked down the street in the pouring rain to see the Freer and Sackler galleries. Memorable.

I want to go again in better weather, to experience Directions - Janet Cardiff.

We now return you to your regular Rocket Jones program of cheesecake pinups and zombies.

Posted by: Ted at 08:05 AM | category: Links
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1 Heckuva comeback by me.

On another note: You poo-poo head. I was trying to get Ovechkin, but you were better positioned waiver-wise than I! POO-POO HEAD!

Posted by: Victor at October 09, 2005 09:31 AM (l+W8Z)

2 Forgot to mention--the week ends tonight, so you still have a chance.

Posted by: Victor at October 09, 2005 09:38 AM (l+W8Z)

3 victor, please explain the waiver process to me. I have no idea how these leagues handle that. What makes someone on waivers vs. a plain ol' pickup?

Oh, and NEENER NEENER.

Posted by: Ted at October 09, 2005 09:49 AM (+OVgL)

4 If a player is cut (like how I just dropped Kolzig) they're on waivers for three days. At that time, anyone can pick up the player but the manager with the lowest waiver number (1, for instance) gets a higher priority for that player. If they get that player, the manager is moved to the bottom of the waiver list (8th position). In this case, you and I probably put in a bid for Ovechkin, but at the time my waiver number was 6 (I think). Yours was five, or lower, and therefore you got him based on your having a lower waiver number. But now you're on the bottom of the waiver pile until someone else gets someone off waivers, when you'll move up to 7th.

Posted by: Victor at October 09, 2005 11:25 AM (l+W8Z)

5 Ted, you were at the Hirshorn and you didn't slide over to Air and Space to see the SpaceShipOne, installed in the Milestones of Flight gallery just this last week?

Posted by: buckethad at October 09, 2005 08:52 PM (Qgvr0)

6 Actually, we were on our way towards the Air and Space when we decided to backtrack towards the other two. Since I get to the Air and Space more often than the rest, I'll see SpaceShipOne eventually.

Now, if anyone would like to get together and head out to the Udvar-Hazy one Saturday...

Admission is free but parking is $12, so taking a car full just makes sense.

Posted by: Ted at October 09, 2005 09:49 PM (+OVgL)

7 Victor, thanks for explaining the waiver process.

Posted by: Ted at October 09, 2005 09:51 PM (+OVgL)

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From John at TexasBestGrok (who's blog turned 2 the other day - yay!):

Context: Insects are specialists (drone, workers, queens, etc), where humans are generalists.

The original Heinlein:

A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.

Items I've done are in bold, notes and explanations follow.

* Change a diaper - cloth for the first child, disposable for the third, a mix for the middle kid.
* Plan an invasion - in real life a security exercise designed to steal nuclear weapons, on a gameboard for entire continents and galaxies.
* Butcher a hog - deer, pheasant and fish.
* Conn a ship - my Uncle's sailboat, which he sometimes sailed to Hawaii.
* Design a building - the largest that ever made it past the paper stage was a shed.
* Write a sonnet - I've written some pretty bad poetry, but no sonnets of any quality
* Balance accounts - enough to get by.
* Build a wall - wood, brick, and maybe stone next summer.
* Set a bone - a friend's broken finger, although I never want to have to do it again.
* Comfort the dying - I've been fortunate in my life.
* Take orders - thirteen years in the Air Force.
* Give orders - ditto.
* Cooperate
* Act alone
* Solve equations - it's not math... it's not math...
* Analyze a new problem - welcome to computer programming
* Pitch manure - and hay and ground oats (?), family with dairy farms
* Program a computer - my job.
* Cook a tasty meal - check.
* Fight efficiently - fight? yeah. won? yeah. lost? oh yeah.
* Die gallantly - more than once in a simulated fashion while doing security exercises for the Strategic Air Command.

Hey, that's more than I expected!

Posted by: Ted at 05:21 PM | category: Links
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All kinds of eBook related news, information and links at TeleRead.

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