Wish mine included this perk!

Via the CheeseMistress, long may she be unelectrified.

Posted by: Ted at 06:04 AM | category: Links
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It's all over but the shoutin', as my daddy says.

In the Championship game, Munuviana's DFMoore held on to defeat Brendoman for top honors. The last of the points from last night's contest haven't been included, but they weren't enough to close the gap on Daniel. Congrats!

For third place, Victor became a victim of his own success, needing the Eagles stars to have a big game in order to take the victory (wow, three 'vic' words in one sentence!). Since the game meant nothing to the Eagles, they sat most of their starters and Victor came up short on the scoreboard. Sorry Victor, in your shoes I'd be raising hell with the Eagles. Demand season tickets for next year, maybe they'll comp you a jersey or something.

So that's it. The Rockets will be back next year, bigger, badder, and more likely to explode on the pad more explosive next year.

Posted by: Ted at 06:09 AM | category: Links
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The Hockey Whoopass Jamboree is still going on, and last night my Cleveland Barons (represented by a Shark wearing a monocle, natch), were blanked by the Gir's Manitoba Moose. In accordance with the prophesy rules, her logo will by displayed on my main page for the next day.

They play again tonight, so if she wins again, it'll still be there. If not, then I expect massive and prominent displayage on her page. I may have discovered her weakness, and plan to distract her with tanned cabana boys bearing tall glasses full of paper umbrellas. Us silly earth monkeys are like that.

Posted by: Ted at 06:00 AM | category: Links
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Asian style, more cute than raunchy, although the last one has nudity.

Posted by: Ted at 06:23 AM | category: Links
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A magical site full of animated Christmas cards and music. Thanks to Gordon for pointing this one out.

Posted by: Ted at 06:17 AM | category: Links
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Richmond, Virginia.

Hundreds of passengers are stuck at Richmond International Airport, after an airplane edged off a runway Thursday morning and got stuck in the mud.

Of course, in true Murphy's fashion, the plane is stuck in the mud where 98% of airport traffic is blocked, at the intersection between the two main runways.

But it is Christmas, and you know there has to be some good news, right?

Bell told a WRIC reporter that the airport does not have the necessary equipment to pull the jet from the mud, and American Airlines is locating the equipment and will get it to Richmond.

Maybe not.

Posted by: Ted at 11:45 AM | category: Links
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My buddy Rich (hahaha, I made a funny), gives the lowdown on the trendy new Senseo coffee maker that they've been pushing hard this holiday season.

He's moving his blog, so I'm going to copy the whole thing in the extended entry, and I'll update his link as soon as I get it. more...

Posted by: Ted at 06:02 PM | category: Links
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1 But you didn't copy the helpful embedded links! Hehe

Posted by: Maelstrom at December 22, 2004 08:58 PM (L64L8)

2 Gotta give folks something to look forward to when they head on over to your place.

Posted by: Ted at December 23, 2004 05:56 AM (blNMI)

3 The new address to my blog is:
http://ntshma.blogspot.com
(ntshma = nothing to see here move along)

Posted by: Maelstrom at December 23, 2004 08:34 PM (p+1Zn)

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Actually, it's stronger than cheesecake, but still oh-so-yummy (link definitely not safe for work)!

Thanks to Wegglywoo for pointing this one out.

Posted by: Ted at 01:16 PM | category: Links
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1 Ho.

Posted by: dawn at December 22, 2004 06:27 PM (Rgkju)

2 Tattletale.

Posted by: Ted at December 23, 2004 05:58 AM (blNMI)

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The folks at Silent Running are going to be conducting an interesting experiment.

SIMTERROR '05

An interactive blog-based hypothetical scenario in which a terrorist attempt to stage an attack on Australian soil will be simulated in real time, over two weeks in January 1985.

Introduction

Bloggers have opinions. It's what we do. But how many of us have actually wondered what we might do, and how we might respond, in the event of a major terrorist attempt at replicating a 9/11 scale attack? It's all very well for us to opine to our hearts content about what the West ought to do in the face of a generalised threat from radical Islam, but how would the blogosphere respond in an actual emergency? Can we put ourselves emotionally in that position? It isn't easy, is it?

Would we fall to pieces? Would we be simply struck dumb? Would we urge massive lashing out in retaliation? Or would blogs become a useful resource of opinions, options, information, argument and debate? Would it become the closest thing this planet has to a gigantic neural network of linked minds, all concentrated on a single issue?

SIMTERROR '05 is an experiment designed to help us think about the ways blogs might be able to respond to a sudden crisis using a simulation of real world events, but getting blogs to respond as if the events were real. In a sense, SIMTERROR 0'5 will be the first test of the Emergency Blogger System.

The Simulation

Beginning on Sunday, January 1st, at 12 noon, Australian Eastern Time, the blog "Silent Running" will go live as the central information hub of the exercise. It will run news items in real time, based on the decisions taken by the various bloggers playing the roles of significant leaders in this exercise. Those decisions and actions will go through "Silent Running" blogger "Tom Paine", who will act as umpire.

The players will be presented from time to time with updates on the situation as it unfolds, and their responses will help shape the simulation. Once it starts, no-one, not even the umpire, will know how things will turn out.

They have a dedicated Yahoo group set up and the list of players includes many prominent bloggers. Set your bookmarks, because no matter what happens, it's going to be fascinating. I'll be watching this one closely.

Posted by: Ted at 06:10 AM | category: Links
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Forgive the title. Or not. Whatever.

San Francisco has decided to follow in the footsteps of our nation's capital and ban possesion of firearms within city limits. In case you didn't know, Washington D.C. is also the murder capital of the USA, and believe me when I tell you that it's not because of gang-related strangulations. They also expect law-abiding citizens to just turn in their firearms, which will go far in improving the survival rate of criminals in the city.

Practical example: rob a house where the owner might have a gun or rob a pizza place where corporate policy is "be unarmed". Tough choice, eh? Now apply that concept to an entire city.

I've seen this all over the net, but Publicola was the first to bring it to my attention. He's got more, including the text of the proposed law too.

Posted by: Ted at 05:45 AM | category: Links
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Just because I didn't make the playoffs doesn't mean I don't care how it turns out, especially since fellow Munuvians Daniel and Victor are in.

In the first game, Daniel easily handled the inexplicably mediocre Fire Ants. The Fire Ants shared a piece of first place the entire season, so their falloff in production came at the worst possible time for them. Buh-Bye.

In the other game, it looks like another upset in the making. This time Brendoman holds a fair lead over Victor's Rats of Chaos. Victor needs a big game tonight from Miami receiver Chris Chambers to pull this one out. It could happen.

Posted by: Ted at 06:03 AM | category: Links
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Via Dustbury, I learned about Unsafe Search, an idea whose time has come. Basically, they first do a universal Google search on your phrase, then a second one with the full adult-filter applied. Then they remove all the hits from the nice, leaving just the naughty. Obvious and brilliant. But when I went there to check it out, what do I find?

It's a shame when someone searching for pornographic material related to, say, llamas, is forced to slog though many pages of perfectly innocuous llama sites before finally hitting upon the llama porn he was looking for.

I don't know guys, I never took the phrase link whoring as a literal description. I think this also proves that those online polls are full of crap.

This also gave me a chuckle (and it's work safe):

And nobody who does a Google search for "nice tits" wants to find a site like this one.

That site too, while perfectly harmless, has a nice sense of humor about the subject.

Posted by: Ted at 08:24 AM | category: Links
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Send these folks a photo of your tattoo, and they'll recreate it as a piece of silver jewelry. Tres chic, as my biker friends would say.

Posted by: Ted at 08:01 AM | category: Links
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A Perfectly Cromulent Blog, where you'll get such wisdom as:

(discussing what hot dog condiments reveal about your personality) I'm largely ambivalent on the subject of corn dogs, however. On one hand, there are a limited number of useable toppings. On the other, any foodstuff that leaves you with a potentially deadly weapon afterwards is all right by me.

Posted by: Ted at 12:08 PM | category: Links
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Kaya no te wo

Hitotsu hazushite,

Tsuki-mi kana!

A simple haiku, written in the 1700's by the Japanese poetess and Buddhist nun Chiyo.

Her challenge was to write about a square, a triangle and a circle within the 17 syllables of a single haiku, and it is said that she immediately responded with the above verse. Here's the english translation:

"Detaching one corner of the mosquito-net, lo! I behold the moon!"

The top of the mosquito-net, suspended by cords at each of the four corners, respresents the square. Letting down the net at one corner converts the square into a triangle. The moon represents the circle.

There are many more beautiful pieces at the link above.

Posted by: Ted at 05:27 AM | category: Links
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Courtesy of 'Tis the Season, and found via the effervescent Squipper!

Ho x 3 indeed.

Posted by: Ted at 05:55 AM | category: Links
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Sgt Hook is signing off. Thanks to Jennifer for passing on that sad news.

Rachael Lucas is back as Blue-Eyed Infidel. She was the first blog I ever discovered, and if you thought she was full of ranty mc-rants before, well lookout!

...this blog is not going to be as nice as Piquant Rants. Yeah that's right I said not as nice.

Curse words will be used. Insults tossed forth carelessly. That sort of thing. My former blog got to be markedly unpleasant for me the minute I started worrying what elderly relatives or future in-laws or my more conservative section of readers would think if I said I hope Barbra Streisand suffers from chronic yeast infections.

So screw all that. No more touchy-worry-cringey manners. You no likey, you go now!

I'm so looking forward to reading her again. Thanks Jeff for pointing out her new home!

Posted by: Ted at 11:59 AM | category: Links
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So please ignore the happy dance and taunting, nano-toast.

Thanks to a career game from Titans receiver Drew Bennett, I beat Daniel in this week's Blogger Bowl matchup. Going into Monday night's game, he was up by 13 points, which was a lot closer than I figured it would be since he's one of the top teams in the league and the Rockets have been hovering near .500 most of the season. Apparently he's on the Santa's 'bad boy' list, because we rose up to righteously smite him. And the horse he rode in on.

What makes this doubly special is that I get to do my happy dance with the lovely, talented and loyal Hot Jets cheerleaders!

Cindy, of Dusting My Brain!
Wegglywoo, of On the Beach at the End of the World!
Sarah, of Trying To Grok!
Kat, of Mostly Fluff!
Big Hair, of Left & Right!
Jennifer, of Jennifer's History and Stuff!
Dawn of Dawn Enterprises!
annika, of annika's journal!
Denita, of Who Tends The Fires!
Gir, of Your Moosey Fate!
LeeAnn, of The Cheese Stands Alone!
Heather, of Angelweave!
Margi, of Margi Lowry!
Nic, of Shoes, Ships, and Sealing Wax!
Lemur Girl, of... uh, Lemur Girl!
Lynn S., of Reflections in d minor!
Susie, of Practical Penumbra!
Blogoline, of Blogoline's Journal!
Stevie, of Caught In The XFire!
Helen, of Everyday Stranger!
Mookie, of MookieRiffic!
Tink, of Flitting Here and There!

This is it for the Rockets in this year's fantasy season. I finished out of the playoffs in 6th place with a 6-7-1 record. Daniel though, doormat to the Rockets that he is, did make the playoffs and I wish him the best of luck. Victor is in the playoffs too, so march on Oh Mice of Mischief!

I'd like to thank the Hot Jets for their support this year. Victor proclaimed bad juju for recruiting his girlfriend for my cheerleader squad, but I always say that when life hands you bad juju, make jujubees. I appreciate all the folks I've played against too, because the trash talk and back 'n' forth has been fun. Special thanks to Nick for setting it all up.

Posted by: Ted at 06:10 AM | category: Links
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A heaping helping of kudos to the guys at Anticipatory Retaliation for pointing out this military ode to the poncho (pdf). Take comfort Skippy, you are not alone.

Posted by: Ted at 12:13 PM | category: Links
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It's awards season in the blogosphere, but I won something I didn't even know about the one I most coveted. That's right, I won a Windy! Go me.

Specifically, I won The Underpants Gnome Award (and don'tcha wish you knew why, neener neener). Go me.

In other Jen-related news, she's also pushing her referral contest and the prize is a stuffed bear with a skin condition and a book called White House Wisdom, which is probably one blank page. Ok, I took a second look at the bear and it's not a skin condition, it's covered with red and blue stars. Go me. Doesn't matter. I want it. So go over to Jen from here and leave a comment about how Ted deserves the damn bear so just give it to him and screw the statsmeter.

Plushy bears and Underwear Gnome Award winners. There are certain mysteries in the universe you just don't mess with, and the symmetry there is one of them. Give me the bear.

Posted by: Ted at 12:06 PM | category: Links
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