From Boudicca:

my husband's family are knife wielding bunny cutters

Posted by: Ted at 12:54 PM | category: Links
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Ptiza is looking to buy a car, so she ponied up the bucks for a month of unlimited Carfax. Smart move, and we do the same when we're in the market.

But Ptiza's creative genius had me laughing my ass off when she combines unlimited Carfax and eBay auto auctions into a hilarious blog post.

Be careful, for her wit is sharp and the edge drips acid.

Posted by: Ted at 06:07 AM | category: Links
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1 I hate to say it Ted but the gal doesn't know squat about cars or car people either for that matter.She should stick to being a comedian.I'm NOT laughing AT her,I'm laughing WITH her!I swear!
Maybe she can get together with Liz Crenshaw from News 4's Ask Liz and the car "expert" from the washington Post.They give bad info too.
I almost feel sorry for her in that she has to point out every little thing about others possibly in an attempt confirm her own self worth.Perhaps it's just the veggy diet.Lack of B vitamins or something.
Also,ask me about the fake Hemi Cuda add that Mopar Collectors Guide ran on E-bay once for the sake of illustrating just how deceptive car adds can be and netted close to a million bucks for.

Posted by: Russ at March 30, 2005 08:18 AM (ObxzR)

2 You didn't get it Russ. Of course the ads are deceptive, that's what Carfax is for.

For the record, she's not a vegetarian (as far as I know). The blog name is a joke too.

Posted by: Ted at March 30, 2005 09:26 AM (blNMI)

3 O.K.,Ted.I'll take yer word for it.I'll just assume it was all a joke.After all I don't want to walk around with a bad taste but rednecks in pimped out Mazdas?That's a new one on me.Two million mile Mercedes?That's even newer still.

Posted by: Russ at March 30, 2005 12:55 PM (ObxzR)

4 Russ, you're an idiot.

Posted by: smotlock at March 30, 2005 10:02 PM (D3+20)

5 No, Russ just thinks I'm a vegetarian, and cucumbers make him feel inferior. Poor boy.

Posted by: Ptiza at March 30, 2005 10:04 PM (Nwck5)

6 A question for smotlock;"Can you explain yourself on that one?Why would you say that?"
That is the kind of thing that liberal internet trolls over on Yahoo do.Instead of actually being able to discuss a point all they do is make snyde little one liner remarks like that without ever explaining themselves.
Much the same way that Pitza has done here.Pizza I assure you that absolutely nothing makes me feel inferior.Especially moronic,ranting,human appologetic liberal lesbians.This goes double for the ones who like to spout off regarding things(like cars)that they obviously know nothing about.I will ask you your own question;"Does it physically hurt to be that stupid?"

Posted by: Russ at March 31, 2005 12:05 AM (ObxzR)

7 Lesbian?

Whoa there Russie. You haven't turned me off the whole of the male race just yet.

Once you learn to properly punctuate, then we'll talk.

Posted by: Ptiza at March 31, 2005 11:46 AM (Nwck5)

8 First it's nouns and now punctuation counts?!?!?! I am so behind the curve.

Posted by: Ted at March 31, 2005 02:40 PM (blNMI)

9 Any excuse to avoid the issue,huh?Trying to attack me because you're too stupid to comment intelligently on what I said.I see that a lot among libs and people who claim to be christians yet know nothing about the bible and sometimes even their own religion.In other words people who don't know what they're talking about.It's called Ad Hominem.

Posted by: Russ at March 31, 2005 03:43 PM (ObxzR)

10 Considering that I'm neither a Christian nor a liberal, what in God's holy name are you blathering about?

Posted by: Ptiza at March 31, 2005 06:59 PM (Nwck5)

11 I never said you where.I only pointed out the fact that you have many of the same character traits.Once you learn proper reading comprehension,then we'll talk.

Posted by: Russ at March 31, 2005 11:45 PM (ObxzR)

12 Aww, how cute! The dear little thing is using my tactics! Imitation is the most sincere form of flattery, Russ, and I am flattered. Truly.

Posted by: Ptiza at April 01, 2005 12:40 AM (Nwck5)

13 Well I can fully understand how someone like you should take it while they can get it and all but actually I was just throwing your assinign statement back at you so don't flatter yourself too much.

Posted by: Russ at April 01, 2005 03:11 AM (ObxzR)

14 asinine. you really need to be careful wielding those big words against others, russ.

Posted by: ian at April 02, 2005 08:12 AM (YweTE)

15 Ask me if I feel bad about it.

Posted by: Russ at April 02, 2005 08:15 AM (ObxzR)

16 The more Russ rants and raves, the more astute my intial one-liner becomes.

Posted by: smotlock at April 07, 2005 11:12 PM (Nwck5)

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Today is Cindy's birthday. If you feel so inclined, head on over to Dusting My Brain and wish her a happy. While you're there, check out the Ken & Squip Show, which is a weekly podcast they do.

Posted by: Ted at 05:51 AM | category: Links
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According to Mookie's friend's sister-in-law's sister's friend's coworker, our town is the Swinger's Capital of the East Coast.

Good enough for Dan Rather.

Posted by: Ted at 08:25 PM | category: Links
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Over at Dustbury I saw an interesting snippet about changes in the 401(k) rules. Glancing over them quickly, I can see where they'll benefit a lot of people, if they're smart enough to take advantage.

The company I work for has an incredibly generous matching plan, and I was really surprised to learn just how few of the younger employees are taking advantage. We've always tried to beat it into our kid's thick skulls instill in our children the idea that you have to treat savings like a bill. Pay into it once a month at least and leave it the hell alone. It'll add up fast. We were mostly successful. Oldest daughter bought her first two cars herself and Mookie purchased her own PC when offered yet another hand-me-down model.

My plan comes in two parts: upon retirement I live simply and long enough to have to learn to like the cheap dogfood.

Posted by: Ted at 11:45 AM | category: Links
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1 Interesting. I didn't know about it, but I was planning on setting up an IRA after I left anyways. I see your point about younger people too. This is my very first "real" job and I set up my 401(k) right away. A lot of the people I work with don't have one. My employer started contributing after a year and I just love to go check my balance on my 401(k) and see it grow....especially after I balance my check book

Posted by: Blogeline at March 29, 2005 04:16 PM (YMz4J)

2 Well dad, you can't blame me for buying my own pc. Cause no offense, the hand-me-down you guys offered me would of made a better paper weight then a computer. =D

Posted by: Mookie at March 29, 2005 06:10 PM (ZjSa7)

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Rejected titles:

• When Dorks Attack!


• It's a dork, dork, dork, dork, dork world!


• Dorks gone wild

It's a knock-down drag-out dork-o-rama over at The Ministry of Minor Perfidy.

Round 1.
Round 2.
Round 3.

It's not pretty, but it is pretty damn funny.

Posted by: Ted at 12:45 PM | category: Links
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Before I knew what blogs were, I found Rachel Lucas. I googled "girls with guns" or some such nonsense and her site popped up. I read, and I was hooked. She's since retired her original place and resurfaced as the Blue-eyed Infidel, minus the internal censor and even more chock full of Ranty McRant opining.

Anyways, in honor of the very first blog I myself ever discovered, I've decided that the theme for this edition of the New Blog Showcase will be creepy floating baby heads.

Enjoy.

Let's kick this off with a trip in the ol' wayback machine to a time when every toy we played with was dangerous and deadly. How in the world did we ever survive? Could it be that only the brightest of us did? *thinks about recent headlines* Nahhhh. Thanks to Melinama at Pratie Place for reminding me of that simpler if seemingly less-safe time.

Welcome to Hermitville, a mostly fictional collection of monologues and observations. I was going to include a sample here, but couldn't decide on just one snippet. This crab can write!

aTypical Joe chimes in with I say eat him. This is a very nicely designed blog, so I say read him (is there an echo in here?)

Michael Minton is an experienced blogger who recently started The Gunner's Corner. He's going to focus on news with a conservative slant. According to the creepy floating baby head, you must go check it out.

Scared Monkeys is two guys represented by the "see no, hear no, speak no" icon. Get it? Two guys... three monkeys? Nope, me either. Anyway, they invite you to drop in and read their take on a major US news media outlet. I notice that they don't promise to not fling poo at you. So, are you feeling lucky punk?

The masthead at The Nose On Your Face reads "News so fake you'll swear it came from the mainstream media". If you like your news with a hint of onion and with a heaping side of satire, then this might be your new daily special. Don't miss the "Top 9" list either. No hints, just go.

This next new blog is written by a reservist currently stationed in Iraq. Firstly, please accept my thanks for your service to our country, and pass those thanks on to your troops as well. Secondly, if the rest of you have ever wondered what the heck all that "hooah" business is about, well, Mustang 23 has the complete word. I almost forgot to mention that the name of his place is Assumption of Command, and if you hover your mouse over his creepy floating baby head (on your left... your military left) then you'll see that the enthusiasm starts young.

Atlas Shrugged is another blog taking on today's big issues, and Pamela has started a very nice weekly roundup op-ed series. I note again that she does not promise to not fling poo at you. Hooah! (I really need to get some sleep.)

Last but certainly not least is a very new blog called Constructive Ideas, with some intriguing analysis of our educational system from an angle that hasn't occurred to me before. He writes under the moniker of 'Positive' from the state of Florida. Did you know that Florida has the highest incidence of lightning ground-strikes in the world? That's something pilots and steely-eyed missile men know.

Every blogger started somewhere, and those first few weeks are the hardest of all as you try to build up your momentum. Check out these newest members of the blogging community, leave a comment and some encouragement, and you just might discover a new daily read. That might not be enough reason for some of you. Fair enough.

Do it for the creepy floating baby heads.

Mandatory informational type goodies:
Do you have a weblog that's been open for less than three months? To join the Showcase and get the word out, send an email to showcase.carnival@gmail.com with the following info:

* The name of your blog
* The title of the post
* The url of the post
* Your name

Or use the Multi-Carnival Entry Form.

Catch previous Showcases and volunteer to host new ones at the Showcase Home.

Posted by: Ted at 05:05 AM | category: Links
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1 We've had our new site design for less than three months. Does that count for a link?

Btw, there's yet another round of dorkfighting up. I think I'll have a rough time topping Johno's space camp tale.

Come over and vote.

Posted by: buckethead at March 28, 2005 03:30 PM (r8pWR)

2 Great job, Ted! Combined with your recent effort with Carnival of the Recipes I think I can say that yer an even better emcee than Billy Crystal!

Posted by: Tuning Spork at March 28, 2005 10:23 PM (SmuPE)

3 I'd settle for half as good if it came with half his paycheck.

Posted by: Ted at March 29, 2005 08:04 AM (blNMI)

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Even in that most tradition-ridden culture, Japan, the influence of modernization creeps ever closer...

A tussle has broken out in Japan's tradition-bound sumo world over the right to wear pants in the ring.

Sacrelege!

Gargantuan sumo wrestlers generally compete naked but for a "mawashi," an arrangement of wrapped cloth that preserves a bare minimum of modesty.

Sumo's amateur association hit upon the idea of allowing shy youngsters to wear "sumo pants," a more substantial garment similar to cycling shorts, to try to boost the dwindling numbers of children taking up the sport, the daily Yomiuri Shimbun said on Thursday.

What's next? A kabuki version of Gigli? I'm no hidebound stick in the mud, but you have to draw the line somewhere.

And if they start allowing pants, well, I'll just have to forego my career in Sumo. I already had a great name picked out too: Yomama.

Posted by: Ted at 11:58 AM | category: Links
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Mookie was scheduled to host the New Blog Showcase this week, but instead zoomed off for the beach for Spring Break (I can totally understand that). So to cover for her, I'll be hosting the Showcase here on Rocket Jones on Monday, and Mookie will host one in the future.

Send submissions for the Showcase to:

Thanks!

Update: Around this place, confusion doesn't reign, it pours!

Posted by: Ted at 05:45 AM | category: Links
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Didja know that The Onion has a PDA compatible site?

Now you do.

Posted by: Ted at 12:13 PM | category: Links
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Alexandre Dumas was an incredibly prolific writer, best known for his "The Three Musketeers". A lost work of his that was published in serial form in a French newspaper will be released in June.

The 900-page book appeared in serial form in a French newspaper and lacked just a few chapters when Dumas died in 1870. Claude Schopp, the Dumas specialist who made the discovery, has added a short section to bring the tale to its conclusion.

The story was discovered almost ten years ago, and it's existance has been kept secret while being made ready for publication. The title is "Le Chevalier de Sainte-Hermine" (The Knight of Saint-Hermine).

In typical Dumas fashion, his characters are inserted into real history, and this time the lead character is involved in the Battle of Trafalgar.

I'm looking forward to this one.

Posted by: Ted at 06:08 AM | category: Links
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This is one of the coolest sites I've seen on the net, just for the implementation of the interface. The vintage pinups don't hurt either. Click and drag the pages to turn them.

Thanks to Rodger for pointing this one out.

PS. When you go to look (and I really urge you to do so), turn up your speakers and enjoy the background music too. This is a really well-done site.

Posted by: Ted at 05:09 AM | category: Links
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A new tribute has been opened at Arlington National Cemetary, outside of Washington, D.C.

"Faces of the Fallen," 1,327 individual portraits of the dead produced by 200 artists, opens to the public Wednesday at Arlington National Cemetery.

The images, each 6-by-8 inches, are mounted on plain steel rods that reach to near eye level. Each rod includes a label with the soldier's name, hometown and date of death.

The display does not include every soldier who've given their life to date.

The artists worked mostly from newspaper and Internet photos, and some sent by families of the dead.

One particularly poignant portrait was done by John R. Phelps, a Vietnam veteran chosen to design the World War II memorial in Lander, Wyo. He painted his son, Marine Pfc. Clarence Phelps, who died April 9 from head wounds.

The artists, who donated their time and paid for all the materials, plan to give the portraits to the families when the exhibit is over, Polan said.

The memorial will be on display until September 5th, and admission is free.

Posted by: Ted at 11:39 AM | category: Links
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From Stephen at Hold the Mayo.

You're stuck inside Fahrenheit 451, which book do you want to be?
Green Eggs and Ham, Sam I am.

Have you ever had a crush on a fictional character?
The only one I can think of that might apply is Corson, from the series Silverglass. She's a strong, stubborn, cagey sword-for-hire. I'd never be bored around her, and there's more to her than a pretty face and a sharp edge. Here's the cover illustration of her from the cover of the first book of the series: Corson (big graphic image).

The last book you bought is:
Tamales 101.

The last book you read:
I just finished rereading P.J. O'Rourke's Eat the Rich.

What are you currently reading?
Sams Teach Yourself PHP in 24 Hours, Third Edition

Five books you would take to a deserted island.

Hmmmm... I could read these over and over (and have). I'm shallow... deal.

1. Job: A Comedy of Justice. Heinlein. My all-time favorite book.
2. Starship Troopers. Heinlein. My all-time favorite book that isn't listed above.
3. Team Yankee. Coyle. War fiction. Love it.
4. Any anthology of H.P. Lovecraft. The closest thing to mind-altering drugs without involving actual drugs.
5. The Lord of The Rings. Complex and rich in texture, this is a story you can spend years understanding. Not one of my all-time favorites, but I'm thinking about whiling away many hours with this one.

Who are you going to pass this stick to (3 persons) and why?

Nic, who always has something interesting to say, even when she claims she's being trite.

Rob, who also goes to concerts at King's Dominion, and I don't hear from often enough.

Oorgo, another guy who has interesting opinions, even when we disagree.

Amy, because I have counting issues and her cute toes would've come in handy right about now. Besides, she only does one meme on her blog and I'm a sucker for rejection.

Posted by: Ted at 06:03 AM | category: Links
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1 Crap... sorry... didn't see this, I don't have trackback capability on my blog. It's soon to come, hopefully.

I will have to work out some questions... I'm fumbling the meme-stick!

Posted by: Oorgo at March 23, 2005 11:46 AM (lM0qs)

2 No worries, my friend. If it's not fun, then why do it, eh?

Posted by: Ted at March 23, 2005 12:27 PM (blNMI)

3 That is TRUE, but I've put it up anyways

No, it was fun, and it made me realize how little I actually read offline anymore

Posted by: Oorgo at March 24, 2005 03:03 PM (lM0qs)

4 I've only been to the one concert at KD.

Unless you count the THOUSANDS of times we went to see the Wolf Pack Five.

WP5 ROCKED!

Posted by: Rob@L&R at March 24, 2005 04:23 PM (H2edq)

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A humorous look at President Bush contrasted with Senator Kerry, in pictures.

Thanks to Transterrestrial Musings for pointing it out.

Posted by: Ted at 05:24 AM | category: Links
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What it's all about:

On January 11, 2005, Greg Hammond hosted a comment based fundraiser on his blog, http://www.californiahammonds.com. The fundraiser was in memory of his lovely wife, Cheryl, who lost her battle with breast cancer after more than 5 years of fighting. The proceeds from the fundraiser totaled $2,846 and were donated to the National Breast Cancer Foundation's education and screening programs.

The fundraiser worked by spreading the word of the need for donations and asking those who heard about it to please leave a comment on his blog. Sponsors pledged money for certain numbers of comments. For example, Greg himself donated $1 for each of the first 500 comments. A different sponsor donated $1 for each of the first 50. The another donated $1 for the 50 following those. And on and on.

On April 1, 2005, the one year anniversary of Cheryl's death, Greg plans to host another fundraiser. Again, the proceeds will go to the National Breast Cancer Foundation's education and screening programs, and the format of comments and sponsors will remain the same.

You can get more information here. Please consider clicking the banner and leaving a comment on April 1st.

Thanks to Tricia for pointing this one out and asking me to help.

Posted by: Ted at 12:32 PM | category: Links
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I dunno Jennifer, apparently I don't have the knack for adding "bitch" to the end of every sentence... bitch.

See? Oh well.

Anyways, I get these emails griping about how the contest "wasn't fair" and "I didn't make it clear" and other crap like that.

I won't kid you and claim that I care. But I do see some possibilities here.

So, here's what we'll do. I won't name names (you know who you are), but I invite Rocket Jones readers to. Leave a guess in the comments about who you think sent me a complaint about the contest and results, and say something snarky about them. This has the potential to be hugely entertaining and I won't be happy unless we see at least three flame-filled linkwars started... bitch.

Hey, maybe I'm getting the hang of this!

Posted by: Ted at 04:14 AM | category: Links
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The Hockey Hall of Fame website is a nifty place to visit. For instance:

One Game Wonders

Brief bios of all the players who managed but a single game in the NHL. Don Cherry, the player, coach and hockey icon is on this list. Way cool.

The Players

A registry of every player who's ever played in the NHL. Built-in searches on Name, Birthplace, Position played, Team, and career milestones like number of goals scored or total games played. I've spent a lot of time here just browsing around.

The Legends

The members of the Hockey Hall of Fame. Players, builders, officials, media, each category is comprehensively covered with bios, stats and photos. Searchable too. Did you know that eighteen different clubs from Calgary are represented in the HOF?

Posted by: Ted at 08:54 AM | category: Links
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Since I can't actually tell who the official Rocket Jones 100K visitor was, I've decided that Cindy of Dusting My Brain is the winner.

I had narrowed it down to her and Collins, until Paul made a late charge with his decision to use the word "mofo" more often in conversation. Despite the massive increase in street cred, Paul fell just short. So how did Cindy emerge victorious?

(in the extended entry) more...

Posted by: Ted at 07:44 PM | category: Links
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1 Damn! Foiled again.

Posted by: Paul at March 20, 2005 07:11 AM (/gLH3)

2 Yay for me! I feel SO SPECIAL!!! This is too cool, Ted! Thank you SO MUCH!

Posted by: Cindy at March 20, 2005 09:14 AM (MMDER)

3 You're lack of integrity disgusts me.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to return to the bushes outside your daughter's window.

Posted by: Collins at March 20, 2005 01:28 PM (YkSuu)

4 Just as long as it's the daughter who isn't jailbait, Collins.

Posted by: dawn at March 20, 2005 06:59 PM (Dh1V0)

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I always thought that Dread Zeppelin was the oddest rock band out there. I mean, they've got it all. Led Zeppelin tunes done in reggae, and their lead singer is an Elvis impersonator.

Way more cool than "The Charmer", that calypso artist who changed careers and is now better known by his real name: Louis Farrakhan, outspoken head whackjob leader of the Nation of Islam.

But then, along comes Hatebeak. Self described as:

Face-crushing guitars, head-pounding drums, bass so low you'll vacate your bowels, and vocals so scorching, so extreme they simply can't be human! They're not. This death metal outfit with a parrot for a singer trashes the pathetic birdfeeder you call the metal underground!

Yep.

Songs are available for download.

Thanks to John of Texas' Best Grok for the pointer to The Charmer.
Thanks to Johno of the Ministry for pointing out Hatebeak.

Posted by: Ted at 07:18 AM | category: Links
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