So please ignore the happy dance and taunting, nano-toast.

Thanks to a career game from Titans receiver Drew Bennett, I beat Daniel in this week's Blogger Bowl matchup. Going into Monday night's game, he was up by 13 points, which was a lot closer than I figured it would be since he's one of the top teams in the league and the Rockets have been hovering near .500 most of the season. Apparently he's on the Santa's 'bad boy' list, because we rose up to righteously smite him. And the horse he rode in on.

What makes this doubly special is that I get to do my happy dance with the lovely, talented and loyal Hot Jets cheerleaders!

Cindy, of Dusting My Brain!
Wegglywoo, of On the Beach at the End of the World!
Sarah, of Trying To Grok!
Kat, of Mostly Fluff!
Big Hair, of Left & Right!
Jennifer, of Jennifer's History and Stuff!
Dawn of Dawn Enterprises!
annika, of annika's journal!
Denita, of Who Tends The Fires!
Gir, of Your Moosey Fate!
LeeAnn, of The Cheese Stands Alone!
Heather, of Angelweave!
Margi, of Margi Lowry!
Nic, of Shoes, Ships, and Sealing Wax!
Lemur Girl, of... uh, Lemur Girl!
Lynn S., of Reflections in d minor!
Susie, of Practical Penumbra!
Blogoline, of Blogoline's Journal!
Stevie, of Caught In The XFire!
Helen, of Everyday Stranger!
Mookie, of MookieRiffic!
Tink, of Flitting Here and There!

This is it for the Rockets in this year's fantasy season. I finished out of the playoffs in 6th place with a 6-7-1 record. Daniel though, doormat to the Rockets that he is, did make the playoffs and I wish him the best of luck. Victor is in the playoffs too, so march on Oh Mice of Mischief!

I'd like to thank the Hot Jets for their support this year. Victor proclaimed bad juju for recruiting his girlfriend for my cheerleader squad, but I always say that when life hands you bad juju, make jujubees. I appreciate all the folks I've played against too, because the trash talk and back 'n' forth has been fun. Special thanks to Nick for setting it all up.

Posted by: Ted at 06:10 AM | category: Links
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A heaping helping of kudos to the guys at Anticipatory Retaliation for pointing out this military ode to the poncho (pdf). Take comfort Skippy, you are not alone.

Posted by: Ted at 12:13 PM | category: Links
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It's awards season in the blogosphere, but I won something I didn't even know about the one I most coveted. That's right, I won a Windy! Go me.

Specifically, I won The Underpants Gnome Award (and don'tcha wish you knew why, neener neener). Go me.

In other Jen-related news, she's also pushing her referral contest and the prize is a stuffed bear with a skin condition and a book called White House Wisdom, which is probably one blank page. Ok, I took a second look at the bear and it's not a skin condition, it's covered with red and blue stars. Go me. Doesn't matter. I want it. So go over to Jen from here and leave a comment about how Ted deserves the damn bear so just give it to him and screw the statsmeter.

Plushy bears and Underwear Gnome Award winners. There are certain mysteries in the universe you just don't mess with, and the symmetry there is one of them. Give me the bear.

Posted by: Ted at 12:06 PM | category: Links
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In an exclusive interview with NASA, Santa discusses his plans for Christmas on future space colonies.

Mars is going to start to stretch us a bit. See, it takes 687 days to go around the Sun. That's about two of our Earth years. So every other year I'll have two Christmas runs to make, the Earth-Moon run and the Mars run. We'll really have to 'haul Rudolph,' as the reindeer are fond of saying. Fortunately, a Martian day is 37 minutes longer than an Earth day, so we can still do our usual overnight delivery.

There's lots more too. Enjoy!

Posted by: Ted at 04:50 AM | category: Links
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Ho Ho Ho, NASA style. Here's a little bit of the story:

Astronaut Cathy Clarke opened her eyes and yawned. Mission Control was playing Jingle Bells over the intercom for about the two hundredth time. "OK," she barked into the microphone. "I'm awake and I know it's Christmas!"

Cathy, one of the crew of the International Space Station (ISS), was feeling homesick.

Back on Earth, she knew, her family was gathered around the Christmas tree, sipping eggnog and opening presents. Later they would radio from Houston, but she yearned to be with them now -- not stuck in an orbiting laboratory, 350 km above Earth, with no Christmas spirit.

Months earlier Mission Control had turned down her request for a tree. "The pine needles would just float around and poke you in the eye," they said. "It's a safety issue."

"Oh, humbug," grumped Cathy.

Never underestimate Santa Claus!

Posted by: Ted at 06:43 AM | category: Links
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Bloviating Inanities is a Munuvian.

Posted by: Ted at 10:29 AM | category: Links
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1 Heh. Just wait 'til he pretties the place up a bit

Posted by: Pixy Misa at December 11, 2004 06:06 AM (+S1Ft)

2 Just off the boat and he's already pissing off the natives (where does the silent "u" go in that word Simon?).

I guess we're the "nuatives".

Posted by: Tuning Spork at December 11, 2004 05:57 PM (lmYVN)

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This guy put up an excellent page in loving tribute to the toys he had as a kid in the 60's. That's my general age-frame too, so this brought back plenty of good times. Check it out and discover why our toys were cooler than the ones you grew up with.

Posted by: Ted at 09:02 AM | category: Links
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1 I love you for believing

Posted by: Helen at December 11, 2004 03:39 AM (QuLsu)

2 Thank you for that link! I loved many parts, of course, but about the toy guns: My mother absolutely refused to buy me a toy gun, so I simply made my own out of a stick, a spring clothes pin and a bag of rubber bands. Good times!

Posted by: Tuning Spork at December 11, 2004 06:42 PM (lmYVN)

3 I remember owning 7 toy guns : a plastic .30 cal machine gun on a tripod, a pretty good 2/3 replica of a Lee-Enfield .303, a plastic Sten gun, a metal James Bond Berretta replica (probably illegal now), a double-barrel Pirates Pistol, a "007 Man with the Golden Gun" Luger (gold finish, with shoulder stock, silencer and telescopic sight), and finally a camera gun that appears on the web site.
I haven't thought of the last for nigh on 40 years.

Without a toy Gun, how can you play "Cops and Robbers", "Cowboys and Indians" etc?

Posted by: Alan E Brain at December 13, 2004 08:36 AM (1635s)

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I've been silent about the whole subject while I worked it out in my own mind.

Bottom line: Bonds, Giambi, McGwire, Caminiti and all the rest did nothing against the rules. When McGwire took Andro, it was legal, and there's been nothing in the rulebook prohibiting steroids. Change the rules and then start enforcing them, but don't get all righteously indignant because someone looked for a legal competitive edge, found one and took advantage of it. There was a time when spitballs were allowed, but baseball didn't throw out every pitcher's record when that rule changed.

Over at Only Baseball Matters, John has been writing about steroid use and the myths and realities surrounding them for quite a while now. I really recommend visiting and reading his posts, there's an entire section devoted to the subject.

Posted by: Ted at 08:10 AM | category: Links
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Head on over to Son of Cheese and feast on his classic review of an organic knosh.

A nibble? But of course!

Who, in their right mind, would wander into a pet shop, spy one of those birdseed bells and think "damn, if we squarshed it flat, that'd make one fine "people snack?"

Posted by: Ted at 08:07 PM | category: Links
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A Trebuchet simulator.

Contests for distance, accuracy and power. Lots of background information too, so don't tell your kids that they'll be learning about physics while they play.

Thanks to the Ministry for the pointer.

Posted by: Ted at 10:30 AM | category: Links
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Our online community, Munuviana has grown enormously over the last year, and Pixy deserves more good karma than I alone can give for all the hard work he does to help us thrive and survive. He also gets the best spam.

It has come to my attention that there are two new-ish Munuvians that were not on my sidebar. That has been corrected, and I extend my apologies for not adding Loren and Kirsten sooner. They're both excellent writers with interesting things to say, and you should pay them a visit.

If you're wondering about the odd order of the Munuvians over on the right, I list them in chronological order of citizenship instead of alphabetic by title. Also, clicking on the NASA MuNu meatball logo will get you to our Community blog Munuviana.

Finally, please remember the new comment policy on Rocket Jones. It makes about as much sense as anything else around here.

Posted by: Ted at 07:39 AM | category: Links
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1 Guess I better get on to updating that pull down scripty thingie too.

Posted by: Stephen Macklin at December 05, 2004 09:54 AM (U3CvV)

2 HAI HAI!!!

Oh, and we have a cure now for your blogrolling blues.

BYE BYE!!!

Posted by: Pixy Misa at December 06, 2004 04:01 AM (+S1Ft)

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The latest is up at Fresh as a Daisy, and it includes culinary yumness from fellow Munuvian Triticale as well as my world-famous recipe for roadkill reindeer tartar.

Just kidding, my entry are the Veggie Patch enchiladas, and thanks to Dawn for suggesting the name.

And welcome to new visitors to Rocket Jones. I hope you poke around and stay awhile, and come back again. Exchange links on the sidebar? You betcha, just let me know in the comments.

Posted by: Ted at 07:25 AM | category: Links
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1 Ted, I think you forgot to close a tag somewhere.

Posted by: Victor at December 04, 2004 07:27 AM (etHvD)

2 Thanks Victor. Got it.

Posted by: Ted at December 04, 2004 07:34 AM (ZjSa7)

3 OMG, I just had visions of linking to this from my page. Another day when I am safe, maybe. LOL

Posted by: dawn at December 04, 2004 06:21 PM (Rgkju)

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Over at Sanity's Edge, Paul is sharing a very funny story about his visit to Japan. One thing that intrigues me is the Japanese habit of everyone yelling a greeting as they enter and leave a restaurant. According to Paul, you walk in and the entire staff hollers at you, and you holler back when you leave. Or something like that.

So that's it. From now on, you come to Rocket Jones, you yell a greeting in the comments, and before you leave you yell again.

Maybe this way, next year I'll be eligible for "Best Asian Blog" award.

Posted by: Ted at 12:12 PM | category: Links
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I don't know which is my least favorite, but there are several hilarious choices to pick from.

Listeners of radio's Columbia Broadcasting System who tuned in to hear a Christmas Eve rendition of Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol were shocked when they heard what appeared to be a newscast from the north pole, reporting that Santa's Workshop had been overrun in a blitzkrieg by Finnish proxies of the Nazi German government. The newscast, a hoax created by 20-something wunderkind Orson Wells...

Don't miss the lost Star Trek Christmas episode either!

Thanks to Dean Esmay for the pointer.

Posted by: Ted at 12:04 PM | category: Links
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This line from President Bush's speech in Canada:

Paul [Martin, Prime Minister] and I share a great vision for the future: two prosperous, independent nations joined together by the return of NHL hockey.

Thanks to Debbye and Gir (who's posted the entire transcript).

Posted by: Ted at 12:37 PM | category: Links
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Unfortunately, it's mine. It was handed to me by Brendoman who scored big in this week's Blogger Bowl and stomped my respectable score like a steamroller over a grape. Still, if Jamal Lewis hadn't been a last minute scratch and woulda rushed for 485 yards and scored 12 touchdowns, I coulda beat him.

Now next week I face Victor's Rats of Chaos. He's tied for first place and on a serious roll. I have two things going for me. First off, the Rocket Jones Hot Jets cheerleaders, which I'll list in a minute. And secondly, I got an interesting email last weekend with a link I found very intriguing.

This might be enough to topple the Rats of Chaos. While victory ultimately comes on the playing field, the morale-destroying effect of this kind of information cannot be ignored.

They're cute! They're cuddly! They're not naked! (see how silly that looks as a selling point ladies?) They *are* the Hot Jets!
annika, of annika's journal!
Denita, of Who Tends The Fires!
Gir, of Your Moosey Fate!
LeeAnn, of The Cheese Stands Alone!
Sarah, of Trying To Grok!
Kat, of Mostly Fluff!
Big Hair, of Left & Right!
Jennifer, of Jennifer's History and Stuff!
Heather, of Angelweave!
Margi, of Margi Lowry!
Nic, of Shoes, Ships, and Sealing Wax!
Lemur Girl, of... uh, Lemur Girl!
Lynn S., of Reflections in d minor!
Susie, of Practical Penumbra!
Blogoline, of Blogoline's Journal!
Cindy, of Dusting My Brain!
Wegglywoo, of On the Beach at the End of the World!
Dawn of Dawn Enterprises!
Stevie, of Caught In The XFire!
Helen, of Everyday Stranger!
Mookie, of MookieRiffic!
Tink, of Flitting Here and There!

Posted by: Ted at 11:18 AM | category: Links
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1 "They're not naked!"

...as far as you know.

Posted by: Jennifer at November 30, 2004 08:05 PM (4LNEe)

2 You're just upset because my cheerleaders make most of your cheerleaders jump up on a chair and squeal like French soldiers.

Posted by: Victor at November 30, 2004 09:25 PM (etHvD)

3 WHAT? I thought the Sound Tigers destroyed Victor thrice in the first week!

Oh, well. The season continu-u-u-u-u-es...

Posted by: Tuning Spork at November 30, 2004 11:51 PM (NgWVQ)

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Check out this short transcript of a radio spot heard by the Everlasting Phelps. Pretty darn funny.

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Now this guy is a rocketeer. Notice on his rocket picture page, the banner at the top that says "Rocket Chronicles". Most importantly, note that the well-dressed gentleman in said banner in no way looks like a terrorist (got that BATFE?). Also, he brought along his wife, who carries a big purse full of that little paper you trade for rocket supplies.

Cool pictures Mr. Ritchie, you'll be on the blogroll next time I venture into it.

Posted by: Ted at 05:13 AM | category: Links
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Thanks to VegasBaby for this chuckle.

Posted by: Ted at 06:54 PM | category: Links
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Smoking Toaster has me on their blogroll, along with some other familiar places. I'm honored to be included in such august company. He's funny in an evil grin kinda way, and I felt an immediate kinship when I read about his battles with cute fuzzy widdle squirrels hydroencephalic tree vermin. Go check him out, it's good stuff and a nice change after all that turkey.

In the not-even-close-to-safe-for-work department, we've got:

Kimochi-ii is a regular stop of mine, because I like to look at oriental ladies in various stages of undress (although I'll never understand the Japanese fascination for girls in "schoolgirl" uniforms). Well, the guy who runs the place has started a new blog called Erotic Zipai. The name refers to a Chinese word that means a picture of yourself, taken by yourself. In other words, a self-portrait, but it's specific to cameras. In other words (again), it's oriental ladies in various stages of undress, as photographed by their own exhibitionistic hand (and bless every last one of 'em).

I love the internet.

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