Thanks to LeeAnn for pointing the way to Googlism. Here's how Google defines Ted:

ted is now owned by the sapling foundation

ted is chad

ted is one hell of a role model for young kids

ted is little ted's best friend

ted is available in binary format

ted is a box office hit

ted is voodoo chili

ted is my new favorite

ted is not 100% human

ted is very quiet and trapped in a box

ted is the patron saint of shark jumping

ted is available for download from ftp

ted is the imaginary friend of a lonely little boy

ted is not looking for the quick sale

ted is not doing the show every night


ted is not

Posted by: Ted at 10:19 AM | category: Links
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Glenn of Hi, I'm Black! fame is trying to become a big-time internet smut peddler.

So if hardcore floats your boat, visit his new site called, appropriately enough, NOT WORK SAFE (which is itself Not Work Safe). Glenn says FleshBot needs some competition.

Posted by: Ted at 05:29 AM | category: Links
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Now this is cool. The Hockey Hall of Fame has this slideshow of various masks worn through history.

Thanks to Eric of Off Wing Opinion for the pointer.

Posted by: Ted at 05:27 AM | category: Links
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Stolen en toto from Curmudgeonly & Skeptical:

Rene Descartes is finishing dinner in a small cafe when the waiter asks "would you like desert?"

He answers " I think not," and disappears.

Posted by: Ted at 08:41 AM | category: Links
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1 *groan*

Posted by: Susie at March 08, 2004 11:19 AM (8giUV)

2 Wonderful! LOL

Posted by: Punch Buggy at March 08, 2004 11:29 AM (0KiI4)

3 Truly a thinking man's joke

Posted by: GEBIV at March 08, 2004 06:22 PM (THMLr)

4 Wow, that takes me back... to 1982!!
]

Posted by: Tuning Spork at March 08, 2004 11:56 PM (DIiaN)

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Jen Speaks, who is probably already known to some of you.

The Llama Butchers, just because of the name. I have a note here on my list of movies to see someday about "Barn of the Blood Llama". Coincidence? I dunno, but I'm not taking any chances. And it's not just because of the name.

Blogeline is back after a long hiatus.

Posted by: Ted at 10:46 AM | category: Links
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Thanks to A.E. Brain, a link to a demo online version of the famous Moog synthesizer.

If it's Blog*spotted, scroll down to "In the Moog".

Welcome him to the blogroll as well (down at the bottom clump with the rest I haven't gotten around to alphabetizing yet). He lists me as "Just Plain Good", and that without monetary renumeration! He kept a straight face while typing that too (I hope). Anyway, go read his blog. It's gooder than 'just plain'.

Posted by: Ted at 08:05 AM | category: Links
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Now this sounds like a diet I could get used to.

New Nietzschean Diet Lets You Eat Whatever You Fear Most

Oh wait, that would be spiders. Never mind.

Courtesy of The Onion.

Posted by: Ted at 01:44 PM | category: Links
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If you've never visited the Encyclopedia Astronautica, well, be prepared to spend some time. This site is amazing.

Posted by: Ted at 06:11 AM | category: Links
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First read Spork's tale of squirrels.

Next, read Bigwig's thoughts on peace.

Spork, I bet you could get Federal grant money if you have your attic designated as a foreign aid food bank.

Posted by: Ted at 05:54 AM | category: Links
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The Gray Monk has written a fascinating post about bell ringers and the art of bell ringing.

For those of us who don't have access to a tower full of bells, you can get your practice in using Abel. This versitile software can also be used by folks using hand bells. All proceeds go to charity.

Here is an impressive collection of bell-related links.

I wonder if Eric Lindros has an honorary membership?

Posted by: Ted at 05:11 AM | category: Links
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Stone Trek. more...

Posted by: Ted at 05:03 AM | category: Links
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Pixy is hosting this week's Bestofme Symphony. One of my old posts is in there, something ghostwritten from my thoughtful and serious side. Guaranteed to make you think of pod people.

Posted by: Ted at 05:14 PM | category: Links
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Thanks to Stevie over at Caught in the XFire. Follow her plan, get a better return than you would with some so-called 'blue chip' stocks, and - beauty - even if you don't, you won't care!

Posted by: Ted at 08:35 AM | category: Links
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Ultimate Band List is a site with tons of information and links to official band website and fansites. It includes concert information, promoter and venue links, e-zine's and much more.

Posted by: Ted at 06:01 AM | category: Links
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Two Nervous Dogs has returned. I tried working in some sort of crotch-sniffing joke, but it wasn't working. Go read, she's funny!

Thanks to Tim at Backstage for the pointer.

Posted by: Ted at 08:09 AM | category: Links
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Cherry posts a friday joke each week (as does Tiger). Always good for a chuckle, but this one really had me laughing. If I ever meet these guys, I'll buy them a tank of petrol.

Spring is in the air. Daffodils are starting to show, birds are singing, bees are buzzing, and Munuvians are meeting for beer, pizza and trivia. That's right, fellow Munuvians Tuning Spork and Stephen are taking your questions, which will be asked and answered in the First Annual Fairfield County Munuvian Blogger Trivia Invitational. A barbed-wire cage match was considered, but we're an amiable bunch in Munuviana.

Drop in and say hello to Sarah. Her husband was just deployed overseas for a year.

Also, brand new Munuvian Ilyka Damen hasn't quite moved in yet, but soon, very soon. I'm looking forward to it.

Munuviana. In some obscure and lost language that had to have meant "concentrated goodness".

Posted by: Ted at 11:35 AM | category: Links
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It's a contest called Miniature City, and the idea is to photoshop an image to show what the world would be like if you were tiny.

Thanks to Cindy of Squipper and Al of Fulton Chain for the pointer.

Posted by: Ted at 05:25 AM | category: Links
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(insert humorous introduction here)

This is fun in a goofy sort of way (warning: bandwidth alert). Kudos to Silflay Hraka for the pointer.

Yahoo is trying their little game again, where they change the privacy policy and everyone is automatically opted-in to allow them to track your movement throughout the internet. Thanks to the guys at Anticipatory Retaliation for the heads up on this one, including the way to opt-out.

From The Universal Church of Cosmic Uncertainty:

You've heard of the Enigma cipher machine, yes? The Germans used it during WW2 for encoding and decoding messages.

If you've always wanted to play with an Enigma, the Enigma-E building kit might appeal.

The Enigma-E is a DIY Building Kit that enables you to build your own electronic variant of the famous Enigma coding machine that was used by the German army during WWII. It works just like a real Enigma and is compatible with an M3 and M4 Enigma as well as the standard Service Machines. A message encrypted on, say, a real Enigma M4 can be read on the Enigma-E and vice versa.

TL Hines has been posting a series he calls the "Darkhorse Dialogues", where he interviews the fringe presidential candidates. Lots of fun, and it makes you appreciate the solemn dignity of LaRouche and Nader.

Ooooo, look Susie. Firemen's equipment.

Over at JimiLove's place, he shares a beautiful piece titled The Tao of Two. Little Max already has wisdom beyond his years. Some samples:

No is temporary, but yes is forever

Caution is a byproduct of experience

If whining never worked no one would do it

You control your own mouth, and what goes in it

Everyone gets a kiss goodnight before bed

Pushing the elevator buttons does not make you a "big boy", knowing which ones to push does

Lynn asks two intriguing questions:

If you could have as a pet, any creature from science fiction what would you choose?

If you could own any device from science fiction what would you choose?

Over at Left & Right, Rob has been compiling and revising his list of Top Guitar Players. Lots of debate on this one, you should check it out.

Paul has been schizo ecclectic in his posting subjects lately, writing about everything from wallets and cell phones to an acoustic version of Disco Inferno. Visit Sanity's Edge, and thank him for not being Bill.

Ever write a newspaper about a goof they made? Say Uncle did, and they asked him to write an Op Ed piece about the assault weapons ban. Read all about it here. He cuts through the fear factor and misinformation to score some telling points. Good job.

I'll close with a blog I've just began to visit regularly. Scott talks about those scam artists at Classmates.com. I dealt with them last year, and they really are bottom-feeders.

Update: Martin St. Louis of the Tampa Bay Lightning bears a striking resemblance to Richard Simmons. Yeah, I'm ticked off after watching the Caps lose a third period lead and get blown out.

Posted by: Ted at 04:59 AM | category: Links
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1 A great roundup!

Posted by: Pixy Misa at February 24, 2004 07:29 AM (jtW2s)

2 Ted, you are an evil tease!!!! Keep it up....

Posted by: Susie at February 24, 2004 09:11 AM (0+cMc)

3 Scott's post just proves my theory: classmates.com was started by the Antichrist.

Posted by: TL Hines at February 24, 2004 02:01 PM (lZuGl)

4 Thanks for the inclusion and link. ;-)

Posted by: The Gray Monk at February 24, 2004 05:55 PM (S1nA7)

5 Thanks for the mention. They are the great Satan. I've been out of pocket a little lately because my Mom has hit town like a tornado..hehe.

Plus, writer's bloc and all of that.

Posted by: Scott at February 25, 2004 04:20 PM (zL4bg)

6 Thanks for the mention. They (classmates.com) are the great Satan. I've been out of pocket a little lately because my Mom has hit town like a tornado..hehe.

Plus, writer's bloc and all of that.

Posted by: Scott at February 25, 2004 04:20 PM (zL4bg)

7 Sorry for the repeat. I blame my own ineptitude.

Posted by: Scott at February 25, 2004 04:34 PM (zL4bg)

8 Pet? No probs - a treecat from the Honor Harrington novels.

Device? Uuhhh.... lemme get back to you. So many nifty toys, so little time.

Posted by: Ironbear at March 01, 2004 01:53 AM (3i0ii)

9 I answered: Inertialess drive (Doc Smith's) and treecat. Got here from yr kid's blog. That "God is a tomato" entry was hilarious. Left a comment, but restrained my nasty sense of humor in respect for her age. People have been telling me I act like a ten-year-old for forty years or so, didn't wanna gross her out with my stupid immature juvenile jokes.

Posted by: Justthisguy at March 01, 2004 02:39 AM (77KTH)

10 Thanks for stopping by. I'm not encouraging you, but she's been exposed to immature and juvenile humor her whole life. Her mom... yeah, that's the ticket...

Posted by: Ted at March 01, 2004 07:59 AM (blNMI)

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Random Nuclear Strikes. The link goes to a special post about the First Special Forces Group (Airborne), but everything there is a good read.

Posted by: Ted at 11:34 AM | category: Links
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Eric of Off Wing Opinion is proposing a blog meet for the metro DC area, to be held, appropriately enough, at a Washington Capitals game.

I'm making tentative plans for this one. Anyone else?

Kevin?
Nic?
Victor?
Phillip?
Ross and/or Buckethead?
Rob?
Dawn?
Scott?

Who am I forgetting?

Posted by: Ted at 08:42 AM | category: Links
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1 I'll go if Scott drives.

Posted by: Dawn at February 20, 2004 10:29 AM (Q0xHi)

2 Ahh, someone who has never driven with me before. Most people don't know this, but the actual reason I left Connecticut in 1996 was that I was ordered out for driving malfeasance.

On a serious note, hockey sounds fun. Though I'd usually Metro to those things to avoid the blistering $25 parking charge -- money better spent in the MCI Center on the 2 domestic beers it would buy.

Posted by: Scott at February 20, 2004 11:05 AM (zL4bg)

3 Oh, metro is absolutely the way to go. I'd drive to Springfield and pick it up there.

Posted by: Ted at February 20, 2004 11:32 AM (blNMI)

4 Metro is an excellent idea -- Shawn told me how you drive, Scott. I'd like to live to see my 30th birthday!

Posted by: Dawn at February 20, 2004 11:35 AM (Q0xHi)

5 I'll have to talk it over with the boss...I mean, the gf. But it's not like she's wont to turn down a hockey game. I saw Eric's list; I'm already going to the Ottawa game. The others are up in the air.

Posted by: Victor at February 20, 2004 02:01 PM (L3qPK)

6 Field trip! Field trip!

Don't mind me, just passing through.

Posted by: Pixy Misa at February 20, 2004 10:41 PM (jtW2s)

7 Isn't James of Outside The Beltway not too far outside the beltway? Phil Dennison of Catch me if you can is local as well.

Posted by: buckethead at February 23, 2004 11:06 AM (ztNrs)

8 I'm up for it!

Am trying to get the family to the 3/20 game for my birthday, but I don't know if that's gonna happen.

I'll see if the Big Hair wants to go.

Posted by: Rob at February 24, 2004 11:20 AM (rOi9m)

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