From the inestimable Pixy:

This one is for Susie, Cherry, Jennifer, Mookie, LeeAnn, Roxette, Stevie, Heather, Helen, Linda, Annika and Sarah:

Throw Rocks At Boys

I wholeheartedly agree ladies, thank you for making this a nicer and more interesting year. I'd also like to add to that list:

Shell, Candy, Carol, Dawn, Min, Margi, Dana, Anna, Lynn, Serenity, Nic, Kelley, Tas, Tink, Dawn, and Denita.

I considered sending individual ecards to everyone, but I'm just not that thoughtful. Ask my wife. Although this year I did get her a very nice gold bracelet. She showed it to me last night. I have impeccable taste.

Posted by: Ted at 08:00 AM | category: Links
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1 Awwww, Happy Valentine's Day back at'cha, ya big lug! :-)

--TwoDragons

Posted by: Denita TwoDragons at February 14, 2004 12:28 AM (Sg245)

2 This is e-card enough. Back atcha.

Posted by: Anna at February 14, 2004 02:31 AM (TF5Pc)

3 Happy V Day to you too Ted!

Posted by: Tink at February 14, 2004 10:19 PM (Pp0b1)

4 This was perfect for me -- it fits, it works and it's sweet like you!

Posted by: Dawn at February 15, 2004 03:51 AM (Q0xHi)

5 Love is a path to the heart that knows its own way.

Posted by: Lamar Cole at October 26, 2005 04:36 PM (04NZk)

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Black Hearts Party. Gifts for that 'special' one on your list and much much more.

Posted by: Ted at 06:14 AM | category: Links
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...and Bunsen has it.

Here he presents a 10-question quiz where each answer is either Courtney Love or Westminster Dog Show Entrant.

This reminds me of an old David Letterman Top Ten list , something about "Favorite Body Parts or Van Pattens". The number one answer was "Dick".

Posted by: Ted at 05:49 AM | category: Links
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US military working dogs are of two types (that I know of). There are drug-detection dogs and bomb-detection dogs. Both kinds can do duty as a guard dog, but basically it's taking advantage of their keen senses, the training for the guard role is limited since they focus on their primary function. After the Vietnam conflict, so-called 'sentry' dogs were phased out because they were ultra-agressive and somewhat unpredictable. Military dogs aren't pets, they're tools bred and trained to do a specific job, and turning one loose against someone is considered using 'deadly force'.

I don't know much about police dog training. I suspect that police dogs are taught more in the way of apprehension techniques and keeping a perpetrator at bay and under control.

A while back The Meatriarch did a fine two-part series (here and here) on canine breeds who fit the bill if you need serious protection and are prepared to spend the time and effort in order to be a responsible owner to one. Everyone should read these, for informational purposes if nothing else, because the average person does not equate dogs with overwhelming deadly force.

Posted by: Ted at 08:37 PM | category: Links
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Poodles were originally bred as hunting dogs, and here's the lowdown on why poodle haircuts are so weird, courtesy of Slate, via J-Walk Blog.

An unshorn poodle's thick coat could weigh it down in the water. With the bottom half of its body shaved, the animal was more buoyant and could swim more freely. The long mane and hair around the chest were left intact to keep the poodle's vital organs warm in the cold water, and owners also kept the hair around the joints to protect them from cold and injury and to help prevent rheumatism.

Shaving the hair around the face left the poodle's mouth and eyes free so it could fulfill its retrieving responsibilities, and tying the hair on a poodle's head into a "top knot" also kept hair out of its eyes. Owners eventually tied these knots with brightly colored ribbons to help them identify their dogs from afar.

See? Manly reasons all.

Posted by: Ted at 11:26 AM | category: Links
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For Valentine's Day, don't give your loved one just any old plushy, give a Santa Cthulhu, because nothing says eternal love like a fictional ancient god. Cupid? What a wuss.

Now maybe you want to keep the kids busy while you get 'thanked' for your thoughtfulness. What better way than to stick with the theme? Your little shoggoths can entertain themselves with a Cthulhu hand puppet. They'll have hours of fun reenacting The Doom That Came To Sarnath and The Dunwhich Horror. For extra fun, check eBay for out-of-print copies of Lovecraft audiobooks that they can listen to. And if they hear strange noises coming from your bedroom, it just adds to the atmosphere, eh?

"It's ok honey, mommy's fine. She's just being eaten by an Old One."

Posted by: Ted at 05:03 AM | category: Links
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Sideshow Collectibles, because everyone should have Leatherface in their living room.

Posted by: Ted at 09:41 AM | category: Links
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Ever notice that the cost of roses goes up in the week before Valentine's Day? In our years of wedded bliss, I've mostly ignored Valentine's Day (beyond a simple card), although every few years I'll get Liz candy or flowers, and a couple of times I got her a gift every day for the week leading up to it (balloons, stuffed animal, jewelry, etc). I don't want to become predictable and have her get bored with me, at least that's what I tell her. Truth is, I can't be bothered to care about a lame made-up holiday.*

Now this site nails it: Be My Anti-Valentine. Send one of their cards any ol' time, just because.

Thanks to Squipper for that link! Also, for those less romantically-challenged than I (or if you're in the doghouse, you unfeeling bastard), and you're looking for unique jewelry ideas, try here.

*For those who think that statement might be useful as blackmail fodder, think again. Liz knows my feelings about it, and it frustrates the bejeebers outta her.

Posted by: Ted at 11:33 AM | category: Links
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I was wondering what it would be like to have a theme party where everyone had to dress up like one of the "Real Men of Genius" in those Bud beer commercials. Imagine a room full of "Mr. Tiny Thong Bikini Wearer" and "Mr. Really Bad Toupee Wearer" guys.

If you do this, please take plenty of pictures let me know how it turns out.

Thanks to Victor for the inspiration (translation: blame him). Also, fellow Munuvian Tuning Spork has posted a wonderful parody here (can you parody a parody? why does the word 'parody' look funny?). Oh well, back to the Sporkster, the man is a genius, a real man of genius.

Posted by: Ted at 06:32 AM | category: Links
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1 I don't know if I'd call it parody, it's really more of a rip-off. mheh. It seemed like it'd be more fun than just doing a straight rant about them $&#%@ pop-up ads. Ooo! I just came up with another idea! but it's a secret for now....

Posted by: Tuning Spork at February 06, 2004 02:34 PM (cvCom)

2 Whatever, Spork, it was funnier than cat piss.

Hey, for that party, I got dibs on Mr. Company Computer Guy, since that's what I am in real life. Heh.

Posted by: Victor at February 06, 2004 05:05 PM (16A49)

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Another 'rocket' out there in the ecosystem: The Rocketsled to Hell.

Posted by: Ted at 08:02 AM | category: Links
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1 Our Rocket theme is becomming quite popular isn't it Ted? Although I know you were here long before me.

Posted by: Rocket Man Blg at February 05, 2004 12:40 PM (D4mP3)

2 Must be a conservative thing. Rocket Man, Rocket Jones, Rocket Penguin, and now Rocketsled to Hell. The meek shall inherit the earth, we'll be busy exploring out there.

Posted by: Ted at February 05, 2004 01:29 PM (blNMI)

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The Washington Post now has photos from it's vast archives available for purchase. Very cool.

Posted by: Ted at 09:29 AM | category: Links
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Josh Cagan, who doesn't like you, writes stuff like this:

It's for a jury to decide. Although, in a case where it's Solomon vs. the Hiltons, how does one assemble a jury of peers? Do you try to find 12 millionaire scumbags? Or six millionaires, and six scumbags?

Or do you just save yourself the headache, and clone Larry Flynt 11 times? But then, would you let them retain their ability to walk, or do you shoot them in the spine as soon as they come out of the cloning chamber? Or do you let half walk, and shoot the other half in the spine, you know, for balance?

This is why I'm not a lawyer. I'm far too thoughtful. And I'm off my point.

Posted by: Ted at 08:52 PM | category: Links
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Carol points the way to Tom, who hilariously photoshops a spam. Bravo!

Posted by: Ted at 05:06 AM | category: Links
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Absolutely work safe, I promise.

cummingfirst.com

Thanks to TL Hines for the pointer, his take on it is priceless.

Posted by: Ted at 09:36 PM | category: Links
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Football season is almost over. It's too cold to start playing baseball. I'd feel bad if I cross-checked Mookie into the fence playing backyard hockey (I'd still do it, but I'd feel bad). Basketball? This time of year you spend an hour waiting for the next 10 minute game to start down at the Y. So what should the sports-minded among us do?

Calvin-ball. Leagues forming now.

Posted by: Ted at 06:38 PM | category: Links
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Daughter Mookie is contemplating an area blogger meet. She's already gotten some interest in the event, and is soliciting ideas. If you're from the Maryland/DC/Virginia area, or might like to travel a bit to attend, visit her and leave some feedback.

Posted by: Ted at 06:54 AM | category: Links
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Thanks to Phillip Coons, I found this online petition in support of revoking the federal tax exemption of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA). They've collected over 10,000 signatures in the first week.

Heather, did you know about this?

If we get a rebate from our taxpayer subsidies to these eco-terrorists, I'm gonna buy a pair of fur earmuffs.

Posted by: Ted at 07:29 PM | category: Links
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The snow is beginning to fall, accumulation tonight is expected to be 4"-8" (historically we're on the light end in my neighborhood), and they're calling for a second wave consisting mainly of freezing rain and sleet. Boy howdy.

Wow. The weather report just said that this pattern could go right through wednesday. Alternating waves of snow and sleet.

I spent late last night watching crappy horror movies (The Night Evelyn Came Out of the Grave, Blood Tide, and some Frankenstein I can't recall the exact title of), and this morning watching a couple of John Wayne movies (circa 1934 - The Lucky Texan and 'Neath Arizona Skies), wrapped around a trip to the grocery store and raking those dang monkey balls out of the backyard. I also did a little indoor gardening - nothing illegal mind you - trying to overwinter a few favorite plants from the garden. Mixed results so far, a couple are really thriving, a couple aren't doing so hot. Nothing dead yet though.

The main reason for the grocery run was to pick up some EV Olive Oil, Balsamic Vinegar and a loaf of Italian bread. Yesterday at the mall, SilverBlue and I sampled some incredible bread dipping oil. Rather than spending $15 for a bottle, I decided to try making my own. After buying small bottles of the two main ingredients, that price doesn't seem so out of line.

Early taste tests are promising, I'll post what I did later. When I asked Mookie to try it, she immediately gave me a detailed critique. The mall is across the street from her high school, and she and her friends often go into that particular store to sample the goodies. She's very familiar with the various bread dipping oils they offer. Who knew?

Speaking of crappy horror movies (I know, clumsy... sue me) kinda like this story over at Travelling Shoes. Where we read:

British use of cluster bombs in the Iraq war could count as a war crime and justifies further investigation by the International Criminal Court (ICC) prosecutor in the Hague, a group of international lawyers say.

"The U.S. cannot be tried before the court because it refuses to sign up to it. The UK did."

If you remember all the way back to May of 2002, the Bush administration had decided that there was a strong likelihood that any International Criminal Court would be used as a means of persuing politically-motivated war-crimes charges against American soldiers and officials. And so the president "unsigned" the Clinton-era treaty which had tentatively committed the United States to participate in the court.

That decision now looks prescient.

Jay at Sophont passes on the word that the Whole Earth magazine has closed it's doors. I remember their catalogs.

Say Uncle has this post about identifying Pit Bulls. Well worth a look.

More Mars stuff from Minor Perfidy Minister Bucket.

Sometimes there's no good way to end one of these posts, ya know?

*and a whole heap o' rambling on, eh?

Posted by: Ted at 08:40 PM | category: Links
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Here. (warning: language alert, might wanna swallow that drink too.)

Posted by: Ted at 08:10 PM | category: Links
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Today the excellent blog by Publicola is one year old! Stop by and say hi, and if you read a bit, you might find yourself returning often. He's that good.

Not to mention that the man downright knows his funk.

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