A comparison between the murder rates of Iraq and Chicago. Sure, it's just fun with numbers, but that doesn't mean a pearl of wisdom isn't hiding in there.

Found via Diplomad.

Posted by: Ted at 06:02 AM | category: Links
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That's the description given by Mr Helpful for this Fark piece, and he's absolutely right. I had tears in my eyes as I read this college paper. Go. Now. Laugh.

Posted by: Ted at 09:10 AM | category: Links
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This is too cool.

Found at Mandarin Designs, and you can look here for help on screen grabbing your montage if you need it.

Posted by: Ted at 04:10 AM | category: Links
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Over at Q&O.

My favorite:

5. Conclude each story with comical "Boing" sound effect.

That's a no-brainer.

Posted by: Ted at 12:43 PM | category: Links
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From Dawn, who saw it at LeeAnn's.
Stephen did it as well.

Here's the first sentence of the first post made during each month of 2004, kinda like a Reader's Digest condensed version of Rocket Jones:

January

The Redskins fired Barney Rubble Steve Spurrier.

February
I'm awake, and I'm one unhappy camper.

March
Ultimate Band List is a site with tons of information and links to official band website and fansites.

April
March 2004 will go down in the family history as one rotten month all around.

May
Might post more this evening.

June
I had one of those oddly productive weekends where you look back and say "wow, I got a lot done!"

July
Since there's been such a hue and cry (translation: nobody asked) about the secret identities of our intrepid NogMeisters, I've decided to give some clues about who they are and what they look like.

August
Here's your chance to write cheers for the Hot Jets cheerleaders!

September
A sequel to Clerks is on the way.

October
I see dead people, and most of them are wearing Cubs uniforms.

November
As usual, the people hosting BattlePark ran a great event.

December
Since everyone missed it in the Blogger Bowl post below, here is an explicit link to my newest fans: Rats for Rockets.

So let's see...
May and November referred to rocket launches, August, October and December talked about sports and the fantasy football league, while January combined sports and Redskins-bashing. The nog was mentioned in July, and September was a movie reference. Tack on the link to some interesting place on the net from March and that's not a bad description of this place, eh? Not bad at all.

Posted by: Ted at 06:01 AM | category: Links
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He's currently resting in Jamaica, but his wife is making plans to exhume his remains and have them reburied in Ethiopia, his spiritual home.

Doesn't matter where his physical presence is, his music lives on.

Posted by: Ted at 11:50 AM | category: Links
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Religious action figures, courtesy of the Jesus Christ Superstore!

Thanks to Rambling's Journal for the pointer. For the record, I agree with him when he says this is so over-the-top that it's meant to offend everybody. Check out their version of the Last Supper!

Posted by: Ted at 11:45 AM | category: Links
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Ill will over the quote controversy refuses to die over at Sanity's Edge. But you know what? Screw 'em. I'll just use that genius and cunning and outflank 'em all once again.

That's right, you guys are *all* added to the blogroll! Even Simon and Jim, who are already there, but get a second link.

Take that!

Posted by: Ted at 06:04 AM | category: Links
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So says Paul over at Sanity's Edge. Right out there in the open too, not all hidden in the comments or in an extended entry.

Long story short: Paul was looking for a new quote for his sidebar and decided to make it a contest. Lots of great entries, but mine won. Because I'm a f*cking cheater genius.

Just to prove there's no hard feelings between myself and the little people, I'll bestow links. Dortch. Shank. Oorgo. Casey. Jim. I'll do more than that, I'll even recommend them because they're smart people (even though none of them link to Rocket Jones dammit (except for Jim)). I know they're smart because they read Paul, and Paul's obviously a genius.

It takes one to know one.

Posted by: Ted at 04:48 AM | category: Links
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So says Paul over at Sanity's Edge. Right out there in the open too, not all hidden in the comments or in an extended entry.

Long story short: Paul was looking for a new quote for his sidebar and decided to make it a contest. Lots of great entries, but mine won. Because I'm a f*cking cheater genius.

Just to prove there's no hard feelings between myself and the little people, I'll bestow links. Dortch. Shank. Oorgo. Casey. Jim. I'll do more than that, I'll even recommend them because they're smart people (even though none of them link to Rocket Jones dammit (except for Jim)). I know they're smart because they read Paul, and Paul's obviously a genius.

It takes one to know one.

Posted by: Ted at 04:48 AM | category: Links
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The guys over at RNS have been on a roll the last few days, and have something worth reading every day.

From Mom, a really funny joke. Too true by half too.

They also link to a guy who acts unprofessional. I'd seen this the other day and meant to link to it, but forgot. Do yourself a favor and go read it now. Really.

Someday the shit might hit the fan where you live, in a big way. Are you prepared for that day? Have you ever even given it some thought? Check out "For Ourselves, By Ourselves". That link is to the 4th part, and there are links there to the first three parts. Most of the time I throw these links around and don't really expect many folks to click them, but... well, I'd go so far as to say it's required reading.

There's a regular over at RNS name of Rivrdog, who has his own site. Good stuff there. Drop by and look around. He posts boobs too.

Posted by: Ted at 07:54 PM | category: Links
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I'll quote entire:

NEW YORK (AP) - Four CBS executives were fired Monday following the release of an independent investigation into a "60 Minutes Wednesday" story about President Bush's military service that relied on forged documents.

The network fired Mary Mapes, producer of the report; Josh Howard, executive producer of "60 Minutes Wednesday" and his top deputy Mary Murphy; and senior vice president Betsy West.

Posted by: Ted at 11:55 AM | category: Links
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From The Sporting News:

... as if the NHL hasn't had enough bad publicity in recent months, BusinessWeek magazine has named [NHL commissioner] Gary Bettman one of the worst managers in the United States in 2004.

In selecting Bettman to this list, the magazine cited the "shambles" of the NHL's and the "weak TV deal" he signed last June with NBC, leading to the conclusion that the NHL was now "a second-tier sport" in the United States.

It's unknown what Bettman's opinion is of this dubious honor, but there are more than a few NHL players and fans that consider BusinessWeek's assessment of the commissioner to be quite accurate.

The NHL gets a huge boost every four years come Olymipics time, and people know about the "Miracle on Ice". Thanks to inept marketing and a refusal to adapt the rules to correct readily apparent problems with game play, the NHL has squandered every chance to become a major sport in the US.

So how does the well-connected fan channel his frustration over the labor impasse? This guy bought Hockey cards. Problem is, he used a government credit card to do it.

Donald Billing, a former director of Measurement Canada, was charged with 11 counts of fraud. Police say he used government credit cards to buy hockey cards valued at approximately C$185,000 ($150,000), and tried to pass off the purchases as office supplies.

He's Canadian, so the NHL strike just has to be a mitigating circumstance, right?

Posted by: Ted at 11:46 AM | category: Links
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1 Good to see that "the Count" is getting the recognition that he so richly deserves. However, what is this "readily apparent problems with gameplay" crap I read? THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH HOCKEY! if people would quit trying to CHANGE it, they'd find that it is truly nature's perfect sport.

thank you.

Posted by: Derek at January 10, 2005 03:49 PM (wEVXE)

2 Gotta disagree Derek. Goalie equipment is too damn big. With the new breed of oversized goaltenders, there's too little room around the edges to shoot at, and they're too quick to get under. The idea behind the goalie pads was to protect the goalie, not the net.

I also like the 'touch up' rule they're testing in the minors this year, and I think...

I just realized I like *all* of the proposed rule changes: allow two-line passes (or get rid of the red line), no more icing for the shorthanded team on power plays, power plays last the full 2 minutes - not until a goal is scored, and 4-on-4 OT, then a shootout.

I love a good defensive game, but it's gotten dull.

Posted by: Ted at January 10, 2005 03:57 PM (ZjSa7)

3 See, I will disagree. Points!

I'm a goalie. I can say firsthand: the equipment isn't too big, trust me on this one. Professional goalies are simply better conditioned athletes than their predecessors.

I do not like the icing rule which is being tried out. I've been to some minor league games this season and, with no other argument than "it's just not right," I don't like it.

I like a good 1-1 game goin' into overtime. I will say that, having been an employee of a minor league team in a league where games were decided via shootouts, the shootout has a place in my heart. The other proposed changes? Straight in the toilet...

But then, I have no say in it, do I?

Posted by: Derek at January 10, 2005 06:33 PM (wEVXE)

4 Exactly my point, Derek. The pro goalies of today are the best ever, which naturally cuts down on the number of goals allowed. Take away that inch or two all the way around and an additional goal or two a game will be scored. That's good for the game because it's what the typical casual fan can understand.

Your input means just as much as mine.

Posted by: Ted at January 10, 2005 08:14 PM (ZjSa7)

5 What we really need is an ice age that will make the game more available to the youth of the United States, particularly the sunbelt whose cities the NHL seems to covet.

Posted by: Brian J. at January 11, 2005 10:45 AM (V04ml)

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What luck! This site just happens to sell swords (and other weapons) of all kinds.

Posted by: Ted at 05:05 AM | category: Links
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They call it the Hot Lix Tequila Lollipop, I call it a bug sucker. It's a tequila flavored sucker with a real worm embedded inside.

I got it as a gift, and it's too unique to actually eat. That's my excuse story and I'm sticking to it.

Posted by: Ted at 04:54 AM | category: Links
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J-Walk Blog is a nifty place to visit because he updates frequently during the day and it's often a link to something really cool.

Two recent examples:

Use your mouse to write your name in the snow. Don't worry about running out if you've got a long name, because your capacity is virtually (ahem) unlimited.

Someone's collection of unusual LP cover art. I love this kind of kitsch!

I've mentioned album covers before at Rocket Jones too.

Posted by: Ted at 08:20 AM | category: Links
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See a little of the ol' slap and tickle, Lego style. I especially like the lego dude with the camera, it adds an authentic sleazy touch.

Be warned though, the guy that did the site is seriously sick.

Posted by: Ted at 08:08 PM | category: Links
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Courtesy of the Mexican government, a comic book giving their citizens handy tips on dealing with their wanderlust and the gringos they'll encounter on the way.

I love the "translation" provided by the guys at Q&O, and they kept my blood pressure under control as well. You can probably guess what my reaction was when first hearing about this.

Posted by: Ted at 09:38 PM | category: Links
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I've been playing with more HTML and CSS over at the Skunkworks. Feedback appreciated, as always.

Posted by: Ted at 02:19 PM | category: Links
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This site, SharkShock, has a bunch of cool fonts you can download for free. The link takes you to the main page, just click on the "font" button and become immersed in font-infested sharkness.

Posted by: Ted at 05:52 AM | category: Links
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