The Top 10 Unintentionally Worst Company URLs.

I mean, where else would you find Pen Island other than www.penisland.net?

Thanks to Zoe Brain for the pointer.

Posted by: Ted at 05:40 PM | category: Links
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Imagine being this couple, who made it home to Washington DC after being evacuated from Lebanon, and then were immediately evacuated from their apartment building due to a broken water main.

McCollough, who joked that her bags were already packed, took the evacuation in stride.

They've since been given the all-clear to move back in, but water to the building is still out. As the newscaster on the radio said "at least in DC, nobody is shelling you as you evacuate".

Posted by: Ted at 05:29 AM | category: Links
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Someone visited Rocket Jones today from VoodooChild's site, which I linked to long ago. He's been inactive for a couple of years as far as I can tell, and I know he changed locations at least twice that I know of.

Besides being a serious rocker, his place also featured several great links to pinup sites on the net. So, because I'm a boob man instead of losing these valuable historical and interesting sites, I'll collect the live links here for your and mine future reference.

(obviously, these are NSFW)

Cheesecake: The Art of the Pin-Up

Hips, lips, & tits... it's Bettie Page!

Bianca's Boudoir

Domai - tasteful nudes

Dragstrip Groupies

Harlow Art

Hollywood Pinup

The Painted Anvil

The Pin-up Files

Pandemos the SecretMuse

Sex Kitten

Vintage Elegance

World of Pinup

Ok, one last thing. I have visited each of these long enough to verify that they're still there. I haven't spent any time checking everything out, so don't be whining about your free boob-shots not being of sufficient quality. Sheesh, uppity pervs. Who'da thunk it?

Posted by: Ted at 05:02 PM | category: Links
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I blatantly and shamelessly stole that title from BLUE.

Check this out:

Back in April of 1997, many comic artists participated in a massive swap, in that each of them did the art for a different one. Some were done by friends for each other pairing off, others were done in large "circles".

He's got many of them scanned, and you can see things like the swap between Blondie and Garfield, Dilbert and Family Circus, and chains like On The Fastrack as drawn by Sherman's Lagoon, Sherman's Lagoon as drawn by Baby Blues, Baby Blues as drawn by Herb And Jamaal, Herb And Jamaal as drawn by Broom Hilda, and so on.

Good Cool stuff.

Posted by: Ted at 04:50 AM | category: Links
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Get your mind out of the gutter. I'm talking about poker chip tricks! Sorted by difficulty, with complete descriptions and video showing you how to do each trick.

Posted by: Ted at 03:16 PM | category: Links
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"When I die, I'm donating my body to science fiction."

A while back I saw a television program about something that makes such perfect sense, but is so utterly revolting, that you want to retch and say 'doh!' at the same time.

There's a forensics research lab in Tennesee where they study human remains. I'm not talking about sterile anatomy and such, although some of that is done. This facility takes donated bodies and examines them as they decompose within the framework of an outdoor crime scene. In other words, they bury them in shallow graves, or cover them with leaves, or toss them into small streams, or wrap them loosely in a tarp. And leave them there. Then they watch and take notes. And by doing this under controlled conditions, law enforcement can better determine the facts when partially or wholly decomposed bodies are discovered.

Fascinating stuff, but not for the squeamish. The website is user-friendly, meaning it doesn't look like a documentary of "The Making of 'Jason the SlasherCamp Chainsaw Cannibal'". It's all rather polite actually. Positively mature.

Posted by: Ted at 08:12 AM | category: SciTech
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David the Hasselhof.

From Grant, who is now on my short list of people to punch for inflicting personal mental pain and anguish, or will be, when I stop laughing.

Posted by: Ted at 06:33 PM | category: Links
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Seen over at Babble-on, a most excellent place to while away some time.

What do you get when you put 50 lesbians and 50 politicians in a room together?

100 people who don't do dick.

At least 50 lesbians would be interesting to watch.

Posted by: Ted at 10:07 AM | category: Links
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I would hope I had half the balls this guy has (this one is pretty mild).

The URL is given right there. Check out the archive of signs that this guy puts up in front of his business.

Posted by: Ted at 10:01 AM | category: Links
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1 They speak English over at the Casa D'Ice?

Posted by: Rob@L&R at July 03, 2006 01:41 PM (iCroh)

2 I tink Tony is Italiano. Yous godda problem wit' dat?

Posted by: Ted at July 03, 2006 05:08 PM (+OVgL)

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From Diane, via Dustbury:

If Gore invented the Internet, why do so many Internet addresses start off with Dubya, Dubya, Dubya?

Posted by: Ted at 07:33 PM | category: Links
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From California Yankee:

Fred Krupp, head of Environmental Defense, says the President's plan to designate the Northwestern Hawaiian Islands Coral Reef Ecosystem Reserve as a National Monument creates the world's largest marine protected area.

About the size of California, the national monument will be 38 times larger than Yellowstone, and larger even than Australia's Great Barrier Reef Marine Park. It will consist of 139,000 square miles of largely uninhabited islands, atolls, coral reef colonies and seamounts, starting 160 miles west of Kauai, the remote 1,400-mile long string of islands extends to Kure atoll, west of Midway Island.

Posted by: Ted at 05:37 PM | category: Links
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From Dustbury:

Boral Bricks' newest plant is in Union City, and when its test production run proved to be up to industry standards, Boral first thought about selling the bricks at a discount.

But no, you can't buy them: instead, Boral is donating the entire run to Central Oklahoma Habitat for Humanity, enough to build 54 houses.

Posted by: Ted at 11:45 AM | category: Links
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1 For the love of God, Ted, have you been hitting the Amontillado again?

Posted by: CGHill at June 21, 2006 02:45 PM (wmpjK)

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To the elderly gentleman seen on my drive home,

Sir, you are a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma (to paraphrase Churchill).

Your hair is white. Not gray. Not silver, but that dingy white that makes one think of yellowed old bone.

Despite the color, you have that odd youthful haircut that no one can miss. Maybe you think it reminds people of the Beatles. It made me think of Moe Howard of the Three Stooges.

You drove for most of ten miles with your right blinker on.

Yet you drove like a young bobsledder, seemingly immortal as you were weaving in and out of traffic, going so far as to straddle two lanes for long stretches as you decided which side would give you an advantage measured in seconds. Bonus points for using your turn signal, even though it was only correct half the time.

Finally, a word about your car. The Scion isn't cool. It looks like the box a Mini-Cooper came in.

Posted by: Ted at 04:19 PM | category: Links
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I already knew it, but it's still nice to have confirmation.

Thanks to Lemur Girl, who's due congrats for completing her college degree! Yay!!!

She's got the low-down on the link above too.

Posted by: Ted at 05:33 AM | category: Links
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Y'gads, another long forgotten regular feature exhumed from its shallow grave...

Zoe Brain tells about an open secret, namely that the two Mars Rovers are each carrying a piece of the World Trade Center aboard.

The company who built the drills on the robots' hydraulic arms are based just a few blocks from Ground Zero.

Staff at Honeybee Robotics fled clouds of dust and smoke when the Twin Towers collapsed.

And they decided to pay a "quiet tribute" to the 3000 victims of September 11 by putting debris from the attacks into their design.

Engineers at Honeybee turned two pieces of aluminium from the site into shields to protect the wiring on the drills. Each curved piece is the size of a credit card, and marked with the American flag.

More technology news from Random Nuclear Strikes, where we find out that a recent breakthrough might make hydrogen as cheap to produce as gasoline! Yay! Maybe, but there's a bit more to the technology than just making cheap fuel. Read and become informed.

In related (somewhat) energy technology news, Buckethead of The Ministry of Minor Perfidy links up to a new idea that's making waves, mainly by adapting an old idea to new technology. This looks promising.

Did you know that Mercedes makes a *Luxury* car?!?!?!?! Head on over to the Parkway Rest Stop and check out his sighting of a Maybach Motors creation.

Ah, employee handbooks. Source of endless amusement and/or teeth-gnashing, depending on your mood. Check out some detailed analysis of one such over at Nothing to see here, move along.

Finally, I've got good news and I've got bad news from the world of toons. Bad news first...

DeDoc posted about the passing of Alex Toth. Who, you may ask? Mr. Toth was the artist who did the original Johnny Quest, among other works. Doc has the links.

And in Toon good news...

Hearst's King Features Syndicate and Warner Home Video have finally come to terms, and 231 classic Popeye cartoons originally distributed to theaters by Paramount will be available on DVD.

The package also includes some made-for-TV cartoons, but what you care about here are the originals, produced from 1933 to 1942 by the Fleischer Studios and from then until 1957 (using some of the same animators) by Paramount's own Famous Studios.

I'll end it here on that happy note. You are happy, right? Original Popeye on DVD? I'm smiling.

Posted by: Ted at 02:06 PM | category: Links
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Way back in the early days of Rocket Jones, I was a blog-linkin' fool. There were many and varied ways I used to spread the love, as it were. One original idea was the Great Random Google Junket - aptly and beautifully named by Susie - where folks would leave various words in the comment section and I would combine them into Google searches and post the results.

As I mentioned, Dogette's comment gave me the impetus to revive the idea, much like lightning striking the mad-scientisty doodads erected atop Dr. Frankenstein's tower.

This may become a semi-regular feature again. In any event, and in order to invade Dogette's privacy, I dedicate this first one to her, and ask you all to put on your best Jan Brady voice and welcome the Rocket Jones Great Random Google Google Google Junket!

Interestingly, when I googled "poop" and "shrub" (two frequent topics at TND), amongst the expected horticultural sites were a surprising number of hits from anti-presidential mouth breathers. Easily distinguished from intelligent life by a complete refusal to offer anything resembling intelligent debate, they don't bother to degenerate to name-calling. They just start there and it quickly goes downhill. They are also strikingly alike in that they offer no alternatives or suggested ideas beyond "it shouldn't be like that".

Moving on, sort of, if we add the terms "privacy" and "orange" to "poop" and "shrub", we get a link to, ta-daaaaaahhhhh:

Harley's Poop Patrol. According to their website, they're number 1 in the business of number 2, and they service all of Orange county. I wonder if they've ever done a cameo on that television show. Their rates seem reasonable and they offer customer testimonials! How cool is that. Way to go Harley!

See what kind of shit (*ahem*) we get into during a Random Google Google Google Junket?

Triticale jumped right in and offered up "snorkel". Since I'm shining the giant bright spotlight of attention at Dogette, I combined "snorkel" with "dog" and came up with Snorkel Dog boxer shorts.

"I heart pesticides". So goeth the wisdom that is Dogette, now available thanks to this site.

And finally, in one of those odd good/bad situations, we find that Howard Johnson Enterprises (home of the bright orange roof) also produce "all season triamine weed and feed". I'd probably skip the salad bar next time you're at HoJo's, eh? Actually, I have no idea if it's the same Howard Johnson. I'm too lazy to dig deeper.

But not too lazy to find this (.pdf format) data sheet on Triamine2, which is described as "A three-way post-emergent selective broadleaf herbicide" with lots of other scary words listed after that.

Ok folks, so that's how the Great Random Google Google Google Junket works. Leave a word in the comments, and try not to get too out there with your vocabulary, since medical terms tend to bring up boring medical sites, etc. Get creative but keep it on the common end of the spectrum.

Do it for Jan.

Posted by: Ted at 05:04 AM | category: Google Junket
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Over at Random Nuclear Strikes, AnalogKid defines several common units of measurement, and helpfully provides their metric counterparts.

A sample:

Yesterday, I used the term “Shitload”

1-Load = The amount of work you can reasonably get done in 8 hours

1-Buttload = 1 Load plus your lunch break

I read these last night with wife Liz and daughter Robyn over my shoulder, and we were all laughing out loud. Don't miss those metric equivalents!

Posted by: Ted at 05:29 AM | category: Links
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Zarq-man is dead.

Maybe he can start a trend, you know, dead blogging.

Posted by: Ted at 05:06 AM | category: Links
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Thanks to a comment by Dogette and the reinforcement by Buckethead, I'm seriously considering the revival of a regular feature of the early days of Rocket Jones. Renamed slightly, of course.

The Rocket Jones Great Random Google, Google, Google Junket.

What say you?

Posted by: Ted at 08:19 PM | category: Google Junket
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1 YAY!

Posted by: Stephen Macklin at June 08, 2006 06:00 AM (DdRjH)

2 Sounds good to me!

Posted by: Tuning Spork at June 08, 2006 08:15 PM (jayhm)

3 What? What'd I do?

Posted by: dogette at June 09, 2006 08:23 AM (wN2Jx)

4 This time, can I have snorkle?

Posted by: triticale at June 11, 2006 12:03 AM (0WmrJ)

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That's when you take something and squeeze it until it ain't fun anymore. That's as good a description as any for a majority of the memes floatin' around out there.

But it has been awhile since I've played the meme game, so all I can say is, Susie can tap me anytime.

Here we go.

5 things in my fridge:
* yogurt
* reduced-cholesterol eggs
* regular eggs (for baking)
* reduced-cholesterol margarine
* butter (for baking)

5 things in my closet:
* large box full of unbuilt rocket kits
* assorted prom dresses from the girls
* "junk shelf" containing, among other things, spare AA batteries for my cordless mouse and keyboard
* Rachael's video camera (our old one)
* clothes of all kinds (I don't have a dresser)

5 things in my briefcase:
* foldable bluetooth keyboard for my PDA
* chapstick
* computer textbook that I'm working my way through
* mini-mag light
* Leatherman

5 things in my car:
* sunglasses
* bag o' bungee cords
* tarp
* umbrella
* ice scraper/window squeegee

5 people I want to torture with this meme:
* Link back here or leave a comment if you run with it

Posted by: Ted at 06:45 PM | category: Links
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