Tard Blog is back!!!!!

Thanks Dawn, for pointing that out.

Posted by: Ted at 06:56 PM | category: Links
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1 PRAISE JESUS IT'S BACK!!!

Posted by: Ptiza at October 20, 2004 04:21 AM (Nwck5)

2 That is SO fucking great!

Posted by: Victor at October 20, 2004 08:33 AM (L3qPK)

3 While I never really enjoyed Tard blog...Tucker does have some other great sites in his stable. For the TB fans there is also Slow:Children at Play. If you're more of a military bent check out Soup Sandwich for a good laugh (some very off color). But...you must check out Hoo-Ah. Really. Go read it. Amazing.

Posted by: Kin at October 20, 2004 11:14 AM (t9u+J)

4 So wrong, but oh so right.

Posted by: dawn at October 20, 2004 01:10 PM (Rgkju)

5 My wife was a special ed teacher for a while, and that blog captures it perfectly. You love 'em to death because if you didn't you'd want to strangle them. And the parents... don't get me started on that subject!

Posted by: Ted at October 20, 2004 02:21 PM (blNMI)

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Nick said in my comments last week:

Hey how's that tie working for ya?

Thanks for asking.

It was another close one. I was 6 points up going into Monday Night, and once again we each had a wide receiver in the game on opposing teams. Tampa Bay's Clayton did well, but not quite good enough to overcome the lead and the Rams' Isaac Bruce.

They don't call it Fantasy Football for nothing, because that's what the above outcome is. Nick made a strong comeback and soundly thumped the Rockets, dropping us to 2-3-1 for the year. Congrats, Nick! Great game. Very cunning move to pick up Clayton at the last minute.

In order to console myself, I'm gonna talk about pretty girls. Let me introduce you to the Rocket Jones Hot Jets cheerleaders!

Margi, of Margi Lowry!
Nic, of Shoes, Ships, and Sealing Wax!
Lemur Girl, of... uh, Lemur Girl!
LeeAnn, of The Cheese Stands Alone!
Wegglywoo, of On the Beach at the End of the World!
Helen, of Everyday Stranger!
annika, of annika's journal!
Cindy, of Dusting My Brain!
Mookie, of MookieRiffic!
Denita, of Who Tends The Fires!
Dawn of Dawn Enterprises!
Stevie, of Caught In The XFire!
Lynn S., of Reflections in d minor!
Susie, of Practical Penumbra!
Blogoline, of Blogoline's Journal!
Gir, of Your Moosey Fate!
Tink, of Flitting Here and There!
Sarah, of Trying To Grok!
Kat, of Mostly Fluff!
Big Hair, of Left & Right!
Jennifer, of Jennifer's History and Stuff!
Heather, of Angelweave!

This week's opponent is another guy with a winning streak: Jim of Snooze Button Dreams. He's at .500 for the season, so I'm not quivering in my boots, but then again, I'm sure he isn't either at the prospect of facing the mighty Rockets.

Hey Jim, the phrase "You Snooze, You Lose" is true. You're going down!!!!

Posted by: Ted at 09:40 AM | category: Links
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Winds of Change has the latest installment of Good News From Afghanistan up. In the introduction, this caught my eye:

Peter Bergin, a veteran journalist and certainly not a George Bush cheerleader writes:

"Based on what Americans have been seeing in the news media about Afghanistan lately, there may not be many who believed President George W. Bush... when he told the United Nations that the 'Afghan people are on the path to democracy and freedom.' But then again, not many Americans know what Afghanistan was like before the American-led invasion."

Bergin recently visited the country after a few years' absence. His surprised verdict: "What we are seeing in Afghanistan is far from perfect, but it's better than so-so."

Posted by: Ted at 06:41 AM | category: Links
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I gotta agree with The Everlasting Phelps about this one. Best training video. Ever.

Courtesy of Wince, train webcams.

An old joke you probably haven't heard in a long while. Funny too, perfect for work. And while I'm thanking Mad William, head here and check out the perfect example of why I won't buy Sims. I too, would not be a benevolent God. Laughed like a maniac while reading it though.

Casey points out this nifty online US Constitution resource.

Posted by: Ted at 01:05 PM | category: Links
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Ok, I've been fiddling around and have some Jamboree things for y'all to look at. They're all stashed over at the Skunkworks, so you can link directly there if you'd like, or click the Jamboree link on the right column when you need to get there.

Besides a list of who's playing, I've also put together a schedule for the games coming up for the next week, and a list of logos you can link to (for Blogspot players).

Give it a look and let me know if there's anything you'd like to see added or changed. Thanks.

Posted by: Ted at 04:50 AM | category: Links
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1 Ted, you can put me down for the Philadelphia Phantoms. Thanks!

Posted by: Wendy at October 14, 2004 10:09 PM (xzAsQ)

2 Thank you!!! I finally got my site set up. Oh...guess I need to put that silly looking moose logo up now, huh?

Posted by: Catt at October 15, 2004 04:06 PM (UUS/P)

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First off, welcome Brian J who is supporting the Milwaukee Admirals in the Jamboree. The updated list of everyone playing is here.

And in the opening game, Gir's own Manitoba Moose defeated the Wilkes-Barre/Scranton Penguins 6-3 (sorry Catt). The Moose had Wade Flaherty in net, which is interesting only because Flaherty was born in the early 1920's by all accounts. Or maybe it just seems like it.

Also on tap last night, visiting Cincinnati dropped Jenn's Utah Grizzlies, 4-3. Kin might be interested in the Mighty Ducks of Cinci, but I haven't heard from him yet.

In other interesting news (to us hockey fans anyways):

The AHL has added several new rules for the 2004-05 season, including:

Employing a shootout to decide regular-season games which are tied after overtime

Permission of “tagging up” to negate off-side plays

Implementation of “no-touch” icing

Widening the blue lines and center red line to 24 inches (from 12 inches)

Moving the goal line back to 11 feet from the end boards (from 13 feet)

A seven-week test, ending Nov. 28, restricting the areas where goaltenders may play the puck in an attempt to increase offensive opportunities without wholly eliminating a goaltenderÂ’s ability to assist his defensemen.

The leagueÂ’s on-ice officials will also have a stricter interpretation of hooking and holding fouls against a puck carrier and of interference in the attacking zone. Additionally, the AHLÂ’s standard of supplementary discipline on acts where there is deliberate attempt or deliberate injury of an opponent will include more severe suspensions without pay.

Check back for updates folks. I'm working on a way to post schedules and results in a way easy for everyone to deal with (including myself).

Posted by: Ted at 06:14 AM | category: Links
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Nope, it's not Children of the Corn (book or movies), nor is it Psycho Scarecrow (truly putrid, no review needed beyond that), we're talking about gigantic farm field mazes laid out for fun.

A lot of these places offer more than just wandering around lost in a cornfield for a little while (or a long while, depending on the complexity), they also have traditional farm activities like pumpkin patches, apple picking, hayrides and more.

Here's a map of cornfield mazes from the largest company in the world to specialize in them (who knew?). They have mazes in the US, Canada, Mexico, England and Italy! I'd suggest Google too, because this is just one company's offerings, and there are many others, and some farms do their own without hiring professionals.

Still not convinced? Read this description of someone who did a maze, it sounds like a lot of fun. If you do try this, let me know about it.

Posted by: Ted at 04:43 AM | category: Links
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Denver Broncos quarterback Jake Plummer wears a sticker with the number 40 on his helmet to honor former teammate Pat Tillman. You may recall Tillman as the pro football player who walked away from millions of dollars to join the military because he believed in making the world a better place. Sadly, he was killed in Afghanistan during his tour of duty.

The National Football League has announced that it will fine Jake Plummer for each game that he wears the sticker on his helmet, because it goes against league rules. The fine started at $10,000, and doubles each game that the sticker is on his helmet. Plummer has said he'll pay the fines like a man, but the sticker stays.

Two people who decided to do what's right rather than what's easy, and you can show your support as well. Eric McErlain has more information, including links to the Pat Tillman Foundation. Here's a quote from their statement of vision:

Pat Tillman was deeply concerned about the apathy he saw in the world around him. Apathy towards bettering ones-self. Apathy towards personal relationships. Apathy towards public policy. And apathy, towards important world events.

Pat Tillman recognized this fact and dutifully took responsibility to rise above the concerning state of indifference and apathy that has taken hold in our nation. Pat’s actions demonstrated his convictions to fight this saddening trend. Sadly, many people act as though the best way to demonstrate tolerance is through indifference. Such a mindset prevents individuals from striving to achieve an understanding of each others’ views – often out of fear that questioning may be perceived as intolerance.

Visit Eric. Visit the Pat Tillman Foundation. Thanks.

Posted by: Ted at 06:10 AM | category: Links
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Romania gets it. Not only are they inviting us to permanently move into one of their airbases, but the Romanian Defense Minister has indicated that they may increase the number of troops in Iraq to help bolster security before the January elections.

Posted by: Ted at 05:05 AM | category: Links
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Ladies and Gentlemen, the Jamboree is on!

By mob majority rule, we're going to use AHL teams for the season, at least until the NHL gets it's act together. Sorry for the late notice, because the season starts Wednesday, the 13th of October. So declare your teams*, and let's get ready for some Whoopass!

Personally, Rocket Jones is backing the Cleveland Barons, farm club of my beloved San Jose Sharks. Y'all can choose your teams by location or affiliation, we're not real big on rules around here. In fact, there's only two:

1. Declare your team, and place their logo somewhere on your front page. It's ok if more than one person wants the same team.

2. When your team plays someone else's in the Jamboree, then the loser must display the logo of the winner on their page for 24 hours.

So get back to me folks, and we'll get some ice action going on!

The original crew (and original teams):

VegasBaby - Calgary Flames
Derek - Colorado Avalanche Hershey Bears
Catt - Pittsburg Penguins Wilkes-Barre/Scranton Penguins
Jenn - Colorado Avalanche Utah Grizzlies
Heather - St Louis Blues Worcester IceCats
Dr Funk - Ottawa Senators Binghamton Senators
GEBIV - Buffalo Sabres Rochester Americans
Victor - Washington Capitals Albany River Rats
Helen - Dallas Stars
Daniel - Atlanta Thrashers
Gir - Calgary Flames Manitoba Moose
Pogo - Calgary Flames
Cindy - Montreal Canadiens Hamilton Bulldogs
Frinklin - Vancouver Canucks Milwaukee Admirals
RP - New York Rangers
Tricia - Atlanta Thrashers
Nic - Washington Capitals Portland Pirates
Kin - Anaheim Mighty Ducks
Matt - Dallas Stars Houston Aeros
Wendy - Philadelphia Flyers
Tuning Spork - Bridgeport Sound Tigers
Brian J. - Milwaukee Admirals
Ted (yours truly) - San Jose Sharks Cleveland Barons

Also, welcome Tuning Spork who said if we go AHL he simply must go with the Bridgeport Sound Tigers.

*To see all the AHL teams, head over to their home page and the mini-logos are listed right under the main banner. Rollover the logos and the team name and city appear just above the logos. Now you can find great full-size logo's here, thanks to Eric of Off Wing Opinion for pointing this one out.

Posted by: Ted at 07:44 PM | category: Links
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Daniel had a bad day.

His Braves got whupped again. Now we see whether Jennifer is the type to kick him while he's down (and whether anyone would notice me holding him there for her).

Going into last night's game, I was 10 points up on Daniel. He had Jevon Walker of the Pack on his roster, and I had Denarius Bennet of the Titans on mine. Wideout to wideout, mano a mano.

Titans won big, but Walker had a huge game, and we ended up in a tie.

A freaking tie.

Maybe I should change my team name to the Braves. Oh wait, that wouldn't fit, because the Rockets didn't lose (Sorry Daniel, couldn't resist the cheap shot).

Being the eternal optimist, I've played three of the strongest teams in the last three weeks and come away 1-1-1, and all three games were very close. I'm still tweaking the roster, we'll see if I can get to the next level, give that little extra, and any other sports metaphores you can think of.

Actually, I consider this a win because I've got sweet ladies cheering me on, while Daniel has stodgy old men with goatees and muddy shoes. They probably all smell of formaldahyde too. May I present the Rocket Jones Hot Jets cheerleaders!

Wegglywoo, of On the Beach at the End of the World!
Helen, of Everyday Stranger!
annika, of annika's journal!
Cindy, of Dusting My Brain!
Mookie, of MookieRiffic!
Denita, of Who Tends The Fires!
Dawn of Dawn Enterprises!
Stevie, of Caught In The XFire!
Margi, of Margi Lowry!
Nic, of Shoes, Ships, and Sealing Wax!
LeeAnn, of The Cheese Stands Alone!
Lemur Girl, of... uh, Lemur Girl!
Lynn S., of Reflections in d minor!
Susie, of Practical Penumbra!
Blogoline, of Blogoline's Journal!
Gir, of Your Moosey Fate!
Tink, of Flitting Here and There!
Sarah, of Trying To Grok!
Kat, of Mostly Fluff!
Big Hair, of Left & Right!
Jennifer, of Jennifer's History and Stuff!
Heather, of Angelweave!

While grabbing links for this post, I see that Jennifer has already put on the heavy boots! Hahahahahahahaha Jeez I hate the Braves.

Who's up next week? Hmmmm, Patriot Paradox, owner of a three game winning streak after dropping the first two of the season. Sorry bucko, you'll be .500 this time next week.

Posted by: Ted at 04:41 AM | category: Links
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Former Superman actor Christopher Reeve is dead at 52.

San Diego Padres 1996 MVP Ken Caminiti is dead at 41.

Both faced a lot of adversity towards the end, and they handled it with dignity and courage.

Posted by: Ted at 07:46 AM | category: Links
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LeeAnn is back! Yay!

Debbye is back! Yay!

And just to make it an uneven three, John Howard is back! Yay!

Posted by: Ted at 09:56 PM | category: Links
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You've got to pause once in a while to appreciate the simple things. Other than that, this post has no real point except maybe to change the color of today's number over on the right-hand calendar thingo.

I was up way late last night, chatting with Spork, Stephen and Flibbertigibbet during the debate. Later on Alaska Dave signed on and we talked a while longer. While the debate was happening, I've been going through a merest sliver of what Pixy's been up to, as my wife's PC hard drive went kaput this week. I swapped it out yesterday, and have been reformatting and restoring since. It's mostly back up and running, and we managed to save the most critical files. Yay!

So this morning I got up before dawn and finish up the PC work, then roused the youngster dog (Trix) for a walk. We strolled the neighborhoods for almost an hour, just enjoying the crisp air and light fog. Saw lots of geese honking their way overhead, just starting to gaggle up. When we got back, I took the old man Sam for a quick walk too, then started diving into the day's chores.

I've got one of Denita's heavenly bread puddings in the oven, and I've promised Liz a batch of macaroons too. Between that and breakfast, I think I can have it all done by noon, and then spend the rest of the day working on rockets.

I've put together plans on modifying my existing rockets to use the new hybrid motors (nitrous - woohoo!), so that's one thing on my to-do list. Another is to start construction on my newest rocket.

This one is going to be my Level 2 certification bird - 4" diameter, around 7 feet tall, and powered by a hybrid motor that'll kick her with around 60lbs of thrust and burn for 5.5 seconds. Doesn't sound like much, but picture how far something can travel at well over a hundred miles an hour in that short time.

I've been collecting parts for quite a while, and it's time. Maiden flight will be next spring at the latest, before Christmas is very possible.

Like I said, no real point, but it sure is a beautiful day and I'm going to head out into the back yard and enjoy some more of it.

Posted by: Ted at 10:31 AM | category: Links
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1 Sure was a beautiful day. Took the bike for a ride this morning then slapped together that recipe I mentioned last night. Yum! Did a crossword puzzle with little Stinky head-butting my writing hand constantly...

Hey, Mister, where ya goin' in such a hurry?
Don't ya think it's time you realized
there's a whole lot more to life than work and worry
The sweetest things in life are free
and they're right before your eyes!

You jus' gotta STOP
and smell the roses
You gotta count your many blessings ev-e-ry day
Yer gonna find the way to heaven is a rough and rocky road
if you don't stop and smell the roses along the way.
--Mac Davis

Posted by: Tuning Spork at October 09, 2004 08:37 PM (QzJ0r)

2 Oh man, I just can't wait for it to start getting cooler here in Texas so I can make some bread pudding again without turning the house into a stifling-hot oven...

I'm glad you like my recipe! :-) I've been working on a gingerbread variant, by the way...*evil grin*

--TwoDragons

Posted by: Denita TwoDragons at October 09, 2004 10:53 PM (40N2R)

3 Hmmm, the bread pudding link brings up a trackback listing.
And Denita's site doesn't have a search button.
I want bread pudding!!!

Posted by: Tuning Spork at October 10, 2004 01:37 PM (TJDN8)

4 Whoops! Link fixed. (and she does too have a search buttone).

Posted by: Ted at October 10, 2004 02:40 PM (ZjSa7)

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She's undergoing treatment for breast cancer.

Etheridge, 43, will undergo surgery and her doctor expects a "speedy and complete recovery," publicist Marcel Pariseau said in a statement.

The cancer was detected early and Etheridge has been receiving treatment, Pariseau said Thursday.

Posted by: Ted at 09:20 AM | category: Links
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It's a good time to make sure your smoke detectors are working and replace the batteries in all of them. Also make sure your kids know the escape plan from the house in case of fire. Dig on Sparky the Fire Prevention Dog for fun and educational stuff for the whole family.

I don't know about you, but when I think about fire, I think about marshmallows. Yummmmmm.

Posted by: Ted at 05:58 AM | category: Links
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Over at TexasBestGrok, John is having another poll on SciFi babes, and this time it's the women of BattleStar Gallactica. I have to admit here and now that this show never did a thing for me, and I've probably watched a grand total of two episodes in my life.

Nevertheless, Robert the LlamaButcher, being the belligerent blogger that he is, pulled on his nappy little jammies and protested that a sweetie from the series had been left off the poll. Then he wondered aloud who she was.

Thanks to the wonders of IMDB, we find that Sarah Rush (or "Flight Corporal Rigel" as she whispers into Robert's dreams), also appeared in such gripping roles as "Nurse #3" on Friends, as "Woman at Garage Sale" on Everybody Loves Raymond, and "Fern" on Happy Days. And the list goes on and on. But wait! Her multifaceted talents also apply to the big screen, where she had roles in The Nude Bomb (aka The Return of Maxwell Smart), and the more recent Fangs and Catch Me If You Can.

Gotta love the internet.

Posted by: Ted at 12:16 PM | category: Links
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Jennifer (who is on a roll) mentioned it yesterday, but I completely misunderstood what she meant. When she posted "Who's the greatest pilot you ever saw?", and then wrote "Goodbye Gordon Cooper", I thought she was referring to the new SpaceShipOne astronauts.

What she was referring to was that Gordon Cooper, one of the original Mercury Seven astronauts, passed away yesterday. He was a flake, but he was also a great pilot.

Posted by: Ted at 11:54 AM | category: Links
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Jennifer is hurting, because her Cubbies let her down yet again. It could be worse Jen, my wife's grandmother has suffered through 80-some years of disappointment from those clowns.

And we Giant fans know just how she feels. Check out this hilarious description of the Five Classic Stages of Giants Grief.

G also coins a new phrase that I'll be adding to my lexicon:

The official definition:

Counting on the rockies - Hoping someone or something will perform a task which benefits you, even though this someone or something is very, very, very unlikely to do so.

Usage:

“I told Mary to bring the salad for the party.”
“Uh oh. So we’re not going to have a salad?”
“Yeah, I guess I was kind of counting on the rockies.”

Rationale:

Everything this team [Colorado Rockies - RJ] has done in their existence has screwed the Giants. They couldnÂ’t win a single game against the 1993 Braves, and the Giants lost the division by a single game. They lost 13 of 20 to the Diamondbacks in 2001, screwing the Giants. They developed Neifi Perez. In a secret bunker lab beneath a mountain, most likely. Perez hit a homerun against the Giants to prevent them from winning the wild-card in 1998. They couldnÂ’t beat the Astros, and they couldnÂ’t beat the Dodgers. They need no biscuit to roll over and drool on themselves, begging you to itch their bellies. They just do it.

Nah, I'm not bitter. I also don't write nearly as well as he does, so head on over and read it all.

Posted by: Ted at 06:05 AM | category: Links
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Victor, GM and cheesemeister of the Rats of Chaos, opened a 55 gallon drum of industrial grade whoopass on the Rockets this week.* I make no excuses, but how often does Bret Favre get knocked out of a game (not very), and although my wide receivers are all great they're playing in share-the-wealth offenses. Jerry Porter is a wonderful player, but when seven or eight different Raiders get receptions in any given game, his stats are not going to be where I need them.

Great game Victor!

Victor's Hot Rats cheerleaders are cute, but if you prefer your pretty ladies a little taller, then check out Rocket Jones' very own Hot Jets!

Nic, of Shoes, Ships, and Sealing Wax!
LeeAnn, of The Cheese Stands Alone!
Dawn of Dawn Enterprises!
Stevie, of Caught In The XFire!
Margi, of Margi Lowry!
Lemur Girl, of... uh, Lemur Girl!
Lynn S., of Reflections in d minor!
Susie, of Practical Penumbra!
Blogoline, of Blogoline's Journal!
Gir, of Your Moosey Fate!
Tink, of Flitting Here and There!
Sarah, of Trying To Grok!
Kat, of Mostly Fluff!
Big Hair, of Left & Right!
Wegglywoo, of On the Beach at the End of the World!
Helen, of Everyday Stranger!
annika, of annika's journal!
Cindy, of Dusting My Brain!
Mookie, of MookieRiffic!
Denita, of Who Tends The Fires!
Jennifer, of Jennifer's History and Stuff!
Heather, of Angelweave!

Next up are the ominously named DFMoore...s. I wasn't sure about the significance of the name, so I asked Jennifer, who's into history and stuff. She was busy climbing through a haunted storage shed or something (it's almost Halloween dontchaknow), so I finally wound up googling it instead.

Piecing things together from multiple sources, it appears that DFMoore is an acronym or anagram (or both for you conspiracy fans!) for a secret society of fast-food restaraunt owners who read dictionary's for fun and secretly worship an old bucket of paint.

The only other hit was about some guy in Atlanta with a fetish for Chicago. But that's too pat, I'm a most-complex-explanation-possible kinda guy.

Almost lost my thread there... DFMoore - You're Toast!!!

* Actually, it was a close game.** I could have won it with the right personnel move, but I never seriously considered replacing Favre with Leftwich. Would you?

** Victor was top score for the week, I was second, and we both would've beat everybody else in the league. Victor played big when he needed it. ***

*** Oooo, cascading footnotes, shades of Tiger!

Posted by: Ted at 04:54 AM | category: Links
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