There has been some buzz in our little corner of the 'net about a certain someone posting her fuzzy grainy miniscule picture on her blog.

This isn't her.

This isn't either.

Nope.

But I bet you wish it was.

PS. I have a date with her. Neener neener.

Posted by: Ted at 05:05 AM | category: Links
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1 It's supposed to be a secret.

Posted by: Jennifer at July 09, 2004 08:37 AM (9idqe)

2 Nice try. You should post a better picture to disprove my thinly-veiled slander.

Posted by: Ted at July 09, 2004 09:06 AM (blNMI)

3 It took me a year to put THAT one up.

Posted by: Jennifer at July 09, 2004 09:17 AM (9idqe)

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For Dawn, who probably needs these more than anyone else I know.

Posted by: Ted at 11:18 AM | category: Links
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I've signed up for the AvantGo service for my iPAQ Pocket PC. What this means is that I can subscribe to selected online publications and have content downloaded onto my PDA. It's free, and so far the obligatory advertising is unobtrusive enough to make it worthwhile.

I'm wondering what kind of news service(s) y'all think I should get. They offer standards like The Wall St Journal, The New York Times and The Washington Post, as well as Rueters and BBC. I was even pleasantly surprised to see the Christian Science Monitor available. I've got my own ideas about these, but would like to hear yours.

I'm just learning about how AvantGo actually works, but so far it's been fairly straightforward. I've successfully downloaded pages from a couple of technology pubs, plus Space.com and The Sporting News, and this morning I created a custom 'channel' for Eric McErlain's Off Wing Opinion. We'll see how that works this evening when I synchronize with my home PC.

Who needs Tetris? I've got words!

Posted by: Ted at 07:43 AM | category: Links
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Thanks to Susie and Johnny-Oh, I now know where I am on the highway of life.

(in the extended entry)

PS. Some beasties like bogs. I am one such critter. more...

Posted by: Ted at 06:32 AM | category: Links
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This time around, my fancy has been caught largely by technology posts, which isnÂ’t unprecedented I suppose.

First stop is Murdoc Online, with his look at Great Lake water levels and a splash of cold perspective to those who need it. Good story, great ending.

Al talks about what IÂ’ve always suspected about pilots. You have to be detail-oriented, level-headed, clear thinking, quick reacting, and have the black soul of DeSade. Quoting Rick Riley:

”I was worried about getting airsick, so the night before the flight I asked Biff if there was something I should eat the next morning.

"Bananas," he said.

"For the potassium?" I asked.

"No," Biff said, "because they taste about the same coming up as they do going down."

Guess who just got back together after a bunch of crap?

My buttcheeks.

Next up – and somehow I got my mojo on because this is flowing incredibly well – here’s a story about a French sculptor who created a piece to honor the Americans at D-Day, and the support she received from other French to keep the project moving forward. Thanks Casey, from The Gantry Launchpad for pointing this one out.

Who likes roller coasters? In our family, roller coasters ranks right up there with cheese and hugs on the list of important things in life. Five years ago we took a family vacation dubbed “Roller Coasters and Rockets”: a week-long rocket launch sandwiched by multiple day stays at two amusement parks. Ooo baby ooo baby ooo (you can quote me if you'd like).

So if youÂ’re like us, youÂ’ll definitely want to stay away from LegoLand in San Diego. Read the sad details over at QandO.

Whack-a-Mole. Smack down an elected idiot. Same concept, courtesy of Stephen at Hold the Mayo. My letter is drafted and goes out tomorrow.

So whereÂ’s all the technology posts, eh? Like a centrifuge spinning faster and faster, the weightier subjects all collect at the bottom. Yeah, I know, whatta crockÂ…

Anticipatory Retaliation points the way to a site that shows you how to use your microwave and common household chemicals in the right proportions a nifty little toy to measure the speed of light.

I liked Michael Gross much better in Tremors than in Family Ties.

Bad movie physics. As in bad physics in movies, not physics in bad movies. Check it out and be prepared to howl. Thanks to Transterrestrial Musings for the link.

Remember when I talked about inflatables in space? Perv, IÂ’m talking about this post. Rocket Forge points out that it looks like the Chinese are interested in the technology, and Bigelow has been moving ahead with prototypes.

File this one under 'science fiction': Kim Jong-Il, beloved leader of North Korea, loves golf.

The "Great Leader" routinely shoots three or four holes-in-one per round, the government-controlled media reported.

And finally, just because someone must be last, is a nifty story from AEBrain about Coca Cola and the potential to ruin someoneÂ’s day in a National Security kinda way. The proposed solution would never work, it makes too much sense. Look for revised (and obscenely expanded) rules to be published soon.

So thatÂ’s it. Bananas and butt cheeks, Michael Gross and inflatables, and of course the obligatory BDSM reference from Bondage Rocket Jones. Have fun.

Posted by: Ted at 04:47 AM | category: Links
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Some of my favorite works are by Dru Blair. Check out his site for some great works.

(more in the extended entry)

more...

Posted by: Ted at 04:40 AM | category: Links
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I've just finished an oldie-timey humor book called Who Was Who, 5000 B.C. to Date. Edited by Irwin Gordon around 1910, the humor is gentle and good for a smile, but what I found most interesting is the general attitudes and mores of the day that are included.

According to the Foreward:

Who Was Who contains over 500 biographies of those who did or endeavored to become famous.

Under no circumstance will duels be fought.

BACON, Francis, either wrote or did not write Shakespeare.

GOOSE, Mother, a fine old lady who was loved by all, but who told some awful untruths to the innocent.

ROY, Robert, a very wicked Scotchman whom we all hope will always escape the police.

SANTOS-DUMONT, a pre-Zeppelin-Wright air investigator who had enough money and sense to quit before people remarked how natural he looked.

Just for the heck of it, I went and googled "Who Was Who" and came up with several pages of nifty links to explore.

Posted by: Ted at 10:53 AM | category: Links
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TV Land is showing the Flip Wilson Show every weekday evening at 5pm. Awesome.

Posted by: Ted at 05:50 PM | category: Links
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Rock, Paper, Saddam. Thanks to Curmudgeonly & Skeptical for the pointer.

Posted by: Ted at 09:29 PM | category: Links
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Marlon Brando.

Posted by: Ted at 12:55 PM | category: Links
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Bits of an exchange over on the Munuviana group blog, under the title Blacklist Backfire:

CD: Hey, I can't use the word "socialist" in my comments because it contains the word "Cialis."

Pixy Misa: Just call them filthy godless Commies like everyone else.

Posted by: Ted at 06:33 AM | category: Links
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No, Timmy didn't fall into the well again. Lassie just wanted to remind everyone that half the stuff in Adam & Eve's catalog can be found cheaper at PetSmart.

Don't believe me? Take the test: Dog Toy or Marital Aid?

Kudos to Rich for pointing this one out.

Update: Ok, home from work. I took the first two rounds and scored 9 out of 14 twice.

Posted by: Ted at 06:20 AM | category: Links
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Mongolia recently held elections and the resident Communist Party suffered huge losses, to the point that they may be out of power. But the truly remarkable part is that their election had an 80% voter turnout!

Thanks to The Marmot for the story, and to Simon for pointing it out.

Posted by: Ted at 07:18 AM | category: Links
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Victor brings up the bondage pants again, and then this morning whilst cruising the ol' linklist I find Velociman pointing out this site (via this guy, who is very funny) where you can meet ladies who're temporarily guests of the state. At least one of them is a Dominant (Domme, in the parlance), who helpfully mentions that she's incarcerated for a non-violent crime. Considering this post I made just days ago, that brings to three the number of recent mentions of BDSM, which fulfills the prophesy and closes the circle. No need to worry about the end-of-the-world thing, it's a small circle. At worst, your front lawn may die.

In totally unrelated news, I've discovered that by going out into the backyard and shouting "Ni!", the squirrels are leaving my bird feeder alone. Probably no connection, I know, but someone did leave a nice shrubbery on the front porch overnight.

Crap. I just remembered that I watched Secretary last night. The circle begins anew.

Posted by: Ted at 09:17 AM | category: Links
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The new job is across the street from my old corporate headquarters (long since moved to the 'burbs), so the area isn't completely unfamiliar to me. Walking around this week, I found a new park that's been built since I last visited the area. Called Freedom Park, I'll try to describe the place, but I also recommend going here for some great pictures.

To start off, set back from the street in a nook between two skyscrapers, are nine sections of the original Berlin Wall. The sections are covered with artwork from three different artists, and there are several placards placed in front that talk about the wall. See those pictures! They also have an original East German guard tower from near Checkpoint Charlie.

To the left of this display is a set of steps (the entire park moves uphill in terraced steps as it broadly curves to the right) leading up to a series of symbols of freedom from around the world. Among the symbols are cast bronze replicas of the Goddess of Democracy located in Tienamen Square (similar to the Statue of Liberty, but with oriental eyes), a South African ballot box (end of apartied), the door to the jail cell where Martin Luther King, Jr was held, a small homemade boat used by Cuban refugees, reproductions of Women's Sufferage banners, an actual toppled stone statue of Lenin - sans head, a section of cobbles from the Warsaw Jewish ghetto, and finally, a slightly less than 1/2 scale bronze of "Freedom", the 1863 sculpture by Thomas Crawford that crowns the dome of the US Capitol building.

Still farther up is a Journalists Memorial, dedicated to those who gave their lives while practicing freedom of the press, known and unknown. A kiosk with a touchscreen terminal contains a directory of names on the memorial. There is also an attached Journalists Museum, but I haven't been in there yet.

Adjoining the memorial is a long curving series of fountains dedicated to early American journalism pioneers. Benjamin Franklin, Thomas Paine, James Gordon Bennett, Frederick Douglas, Horace Greeley (he of the advice to head west), and Ida B. Wells.

Across from the fountains are 270 pictures painted by kids that represent freedom. Freedom from Fear, Freedom of Religion, Freedom to Grow, Freedom to Learn, and so on.

Whoever designed the park did a nice job making it feel larger than it really is. It's impossible to hide the towering buildings around, but the eye is drawn downwards into the park itself. There are trees and grassy areas, and plenty of benches to enjoy the fresh air. This was a pleasant surprise to find, especially in the heart of the downtown area, and I'll probably go there often to have my lunch. If you're in the Rosslyn area of Arlington, you should check it out.

Posted by: Ted at 08:45 PM | category: Links
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Then again, this might be the most work-related link ever, depending on where you work. Not work safe.

Whoops! Forgot to credit the link: Fleshbot, for naughtyness.

Posted by: Ted at 05:22 PM | category: Links
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Twice now, Dawn's boss has caught her headbanging, and once it was a song with rather... *ahem* inappropriate lyrics. It's good to remind the boss that total control over their realm isn't gonna happen.

I caught hell once in the Air Force for my music. I was jammin' to Zappa's "Joe's Garage" when an unexpected VIP dropped by. The music wasn't loud, so I didn't even think to turn it down or off. Once the VIP left my boss called me in for an ass-chewing.

Wet T-Shirt Night

Looks to me like something funny is going on around here
People laughin' 'n' dancin' 'n' payin' entirely too much for their beer
And they all think they're clean outta-sight
And they're ready to party 'cause the sign outside says it's WET T-SHIRT NITE
And they all crave some hot delight

Well the girls are excited because in a minute they're gonna get wet
And the boys are delighted because all the titties will get 'em upset
And they all think they are really awright
And they're ready to boogie 'cause the sign outside says it's WET T-SHIRT NITE
And they all crave some pink delight

When the water gets on 'em their ninnies get rigid and look pretty bold
It's a common reaction that makes an attraction whenever it's cold
And all of the fellas they wish they could bite
On the cute little nuggets the local girls are showin' off tonite
You know I think it serves 'em right
You know I think it serves 'em right
You know I think it serves 'em right
You know I think it serves 'em right
And it's WET T-SHIRT TIME AGAIN
I know you want someone to show you some tit!

BIG ONES!
WET ONES!
BIG WET ONES!

With the right attitude, drugs are redundant.

Posted by: Ted at 05:07 AM | category: Links
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1 I like that -- needing to remind the superiors that they aren't always in control. Sounds much better than that I don't give a flyin' f'ck what they think!

Posted by: dawn at June 21, 2004 10:19 PM (Zgn4s)

2 Heh. On board the ship in 1972-73, I bought the obligatory stereo system and, unlike most others, set it up in our work space. Machine Head was new; we wore out a couple of copies of the album before I got the tape recorder and hooked it in.

After several complaints about excess bass from the guys doing flight briefings next door, I wired up headphones for those who wanted to listen. Imagine a row of guys leaning over light tables, looking for things to bomb, wearing headphones blaring Space Truckin'. The Chief, who wasn't into that newfangled metal stuff, had a cassette player on his desk and his own set of earphones for enjoyment of country music.

One day the Captain came into our space. Such intrusions weren't normally a problem, because it was a security area, but the Skipper goes where he pleases... He came through the door, followed by the officer in charge of the area, and (the Commander later told me) had to stand and wait several minutes before one of us looked up, saw khakhis with a bird on, and organized the "Attention on deck!" pop-to ritual required when a Navy CO enters the room.

I never got gigged for it, but the headphone wires came down, and we got a briefing schedule so that the folks next door would be able to work in peace. (The guys on the roof would never have heard the noise, and there was nobody below.) I did suggest that I should buy a tapeswitch mat and plug a microphone into the vanity jack on the Sansui, so if the CO came by again his escort could simply lean over and say the magic phrase into the mike. Visualize a row of guys, standing at attention, all wearing fat white Seventies-style earphones trailing coily cords... CDR Scharf wasn't supportive :-)

Regards,
Ric

Posted by: Ric Locke at June 21, 2004 11:42 PM (3wRsx)

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Check out Google! It's the Menendez brothers getting ready to take out Dad on his special day!

Hey, you don't live to be an old geezer without being a little paranoid.

Posted by: Ted at 07:41 PM | category: Links
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DeMythology has moved, and VoodooChild has renamed his blog The Temple of Rock (as in music). Check it out and change your links.

Posted by: Ted at 07:20 AM | category: Links
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You've probably heard that the state of Virginia is now cracking down on statutory rape, which is a good thing. Except that they've decided to do it by launching a milquetoast advertising campaign.

Kat at Mostly Fluff (nice new digs by the way, adjust your links) has some killer suggestions for slogans that might actually be effective. My favorite:

If she wants YOU sheÂ’s too young to know better, pervert.

Go on over and say hi. Enjoy the sweet everydayness of Mostly Fluff.

Posted by: Ted at 08:20 PM | category: Links
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