Un-freakin-believable!

Ms. Wheelchair Wisconsin has been stripped of her title because pageant officials say she can stand — and point to a newspaper picture as proof.

Janeal Lee, who has muscular dystrophy and uses a scooter, was snapped by The Post-Crescent newspaper standing among her high school math students. The photo was not an expose.

Standing. Not walking or bowling or skating or running track, she was standing.

“I’ve been made to feel as if I can’t represent the disabled citizens of Wisconsin because I’m not disabled enough,” Lee said Thursday.

Well honey, your feelings are right on the mark, because that's *exactly* why they booted you. Count your blessings that you don't have to deal with those politically correct nitwits any more. Why do I say "politically correct"?

Candidates for the crown have to “mostly be seen in the public using their wheelchairs or scooters,” said Judy Hoit, Ms. Wheelchair America’s treasurer. “Otherwise you’ve got women who are in their wheelchairs all the time and they get offended if they see someone standing up. We can’t have title holders out there walking when they’re seen in the public.”

Yep, can't offend the real crips. You know, the ones who are disabled enough. And of course we all know who gets blamed for this farce:

Hackel said Lee should have been aware of the rules.

You knew it was coming. It's her own damn fault.

I wonder if Miss Black America ever got bounced because her skin wasn't dark enough?

Posted by: Ted at 05:02 PM | category: Links
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Rand Simberg of Transterrestrial Musings provides pointers to these nifty sites:

Google Maps - in about 5 minutes I zoomed to a map of my street, and then with one click of a button got a fairly detailed satellite image.

Economics in One Lesson - the classic by Henry Hazlitt, now available online.

Posted by: Ted at 12:36 PM | category: Links
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Over at Frinklin Speaks, we're treated to two funny links:

Superman is a Dick

The Old Negro Space Program (a film not by Ken Burns)

Just what I needed this morning.

Posted by: Ted at 04:59 AM | category: Links
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Rob said that Springtime doesn't officially come to DC until the manhole covers start to explode.

He's right.

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Via Sarah, I see where the poor saintly parents of Terri Schaivo have agreed to sell the list of names of everyone who supported their cause to a direct-mailing company.

Assholes.

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Mitch Hedberg passed away. You can find more at The Ministry of Minor Perfidy, but for now I'll just leave you with some of his jokes that I shamelessly stole from the Ministry. They had me laughing out loud.

I got an ant farm. Them fellas didnÂ’t grow shit.

Last week I helped my friend stay put. ItÂ’s a lot easier than helping someone move. I just went over to his house and made sure that he did not start to load shit into a truck.

I got my hair highlighted, because I felt some strands were more important than others.

I had a stick of Carefree gum, but it didnÂ’t work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality.

I want to be a race car passenger: just a guy who bugs the driver. “Say man, can I turn on the radio? You should slow down. Why do we gotta keep going in circles? Can I put my feet out the window? Boy, you really like Tide.”

I got in an argument with a girlfriend inside of a tent. ThatÂ’s a bad place for an argument, because I tried to walk out, and had to slam the flap.

I type a 101 words a minute. But itÂ’s in my own language.

I donÂ’t have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman whoÂ’d be mad at me for saying that.

IÂ’m against picketing, but I donÂ’t know how to show it.

I was walking down the street with my friend and he said “I hear music.” As if there’s any other way to take it in.

At my hotel room, my friend came over and asked to use the phone. I said “Certainly.” He said “Do I need to dial 9?” I say “Yeah. Especially if it’s in the number. You can try four and five back to back real quick.”

My lucky number is four billion. That doesn’t come in real handy when you’re gambling. “Come on, four billion! Fuck. Seven. I need more dice.”

I love blackjack. But IÂ’m not addicted to gambling. IÂ’m addicted to sitting in a semi circle.

I donÂ’t own a cell phone or a pager. I just hang around everyone I know, all the time.

I used to do drugs. I still do drugs. But I used to, too.

The thing about tennis is: no matter how much I play, IÂ’ll never be as good as a wall. I played a wall once. TheyÂ’re fucking relentless.

I would imagine if you could understand Morse Code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy.

I went to the park and saw this kid flying a kite. The kid was really excited. I donÂ’t know why, thatÂ’s what theyÂ’re supposed to do. Now if he had had a chair on the other end of that string, I would have been impressed.

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They didn't reach their goal at the comment-a-thon for Breast Cancer yesterday, but the important thing is the effort. Thanks everyone, it's appreciated.

Posted by: Ted at 08:53 AM | category: Links
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Please click on the pink button at the top right corner of this page. Go there and leave a comment. It's easy and it'll do some good, and this ol' world could use all the good we can dish out.

Pass the word too. This is a one-day comment-a-thon.

Thanks.

(this post will remain at the top of the page all day, scroll down for new postings)

Posted by: Ted at 11:59 PM | category: Links
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1 Hey, Ted. I was more than proud to see a fellow MuNuvian comment and post a link

Posted by: Rae at April 01, 2005 05:49 PM (7WNpd)

2 Thanks Rae, Nic did too early on. I haven't had a chance to check back lately.

Posted by: Ted at April 01, 2005 07:29 PM (ZjSa7)

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From Boudicca:

my husband's family are knife wielding bunny cutters

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Ptiza is looking to buy a car, so she ponied up the bucks for a month of unlimited Carfax. Smart move, and we do the same when we're in the market.

But Ptiza's creative genius had me laughing my ass off when she combines unlimited Carfax and eBay auto auctions into a hilarious blog post.

Be careful, for her wit is sharp and the edge drips acid.

Posted by: Ted at 06:07 AM | category: Links
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1 I hate to say it Ted but the gal doesn't know squat about cars or car people either for that matter.She should stick to being a comedian.I'm NOT laughing AT her,I'm laughing WITH her!I swear!
Maybe she can get together with Liz Crenshaw from News 4's Ask Liz and the car "expert" from the washington Post.They give bad info too.
I almost feel sorry for her in that she has to point out every little thing about others possibly in an attempt confirm her own self worth.Perhaps it's just the veggy diet.Lack of B vitamins or something.
Also,ask me about the fake Hemi Cuda add that Mopar Collectors Guide ran on E-bay once for the sake of illustrating just how deceptive car adds can be and netted close to a million bucks for.

Posted by: Russ at March 30, 2005 08:18 AM (ObxzR)

2 You didn't get it Russ. Of course the ads are deceptive, that's what Carfax is for.

For the record, she's not a vegetarian (as far as I know). The blog name is a joke too.

Posted by: Ted at March 30, 2005 09:26 AM (blNMI)

3 O.K.,Ted.I'll take yer word for it.I'll just assume it was all a joke.After all I don't want to walk around with a bad taste but rednecks in pimped out Mazdas?That's a new one on me.Two million mile Mercedes?That's even newer still.

Posted by: Russ at March 30, 2005 12:55 PM (ObxzR)

4 Russ, you're an idiot.

Posted by: smotlock at March 30, 2005 10:02 PM (D3+20)

5 No, Russ just thinks I'm a vegetarian, and cucumbers make him feel inferior. Poor boy.

Posted by: Ptiza at March 30, 2005 10:04 PM (Nwck5)

6 A question for smotlock;"Can you explain yourself on that one?Why would you say that?"
That is the kind of thing that liberal internet trolls over on Yahoo do.Instead of actually being able to discuss a point all they do is make snyde little one liner remarks like that without ever explaining themselves.
Much the same way that Pitza has done here.Pizza I assure you that absolutely nothing makes me feel inferior.Especially moronic,ranting,human appologetic liberal lesbians.This goes double for the ones who like to spout off regarding things(like cars)that they obviously know nothing about.I will ask you your own question;"Does it physically hurt to be that stupid?"

Posted by: Russ at March 31, 2005 12:05 AM (ObxzR)

7 Lesbian?

Whoa there Russie. You haven't turned me off the whole of the male race just yet.

Once you learn to properly punctuate, then we'll talk.

Posted by: Ptiza at March 31, 2005 11:46 AM (Nwck5)

8 First it's nouns and now punctuation counts?!?!?! I am so behind the curve.

Posted by: Ted at March 31, 2005 02:40 PM (blNMI)

9 Any excuse to avoid the issue,huh?Trying to attack me because you're too stupid to comment intelligently on what I said.I see that a lot among libs and people who claim to be christians yet know nothing about the bible and sometimes even their own religion.In other words people who don't know what they're talking about.It's called Ad Hominem.

Posted by: Russ at March 31, 2005 03:43 PM (ObxzR)

10 Considering that I'm neither a Christian nor a liberal, what in God's holy name are you blathering about?

Posted by: Ptiza at March 31, 2005 06:59 PM (Nwck5)

11 I never said you where.I only pointed out the fact that you have many of the same character traits.Once you learn proper reading comprehension,then we'll talk.

Posted by: Russ at March 31, 2005 11:45 PM (ObxzR)

12 Aww, how cute! The dear little thing is using my tactics! Imitation is the most sincere form of flattery, Russ, and I am flattered. Truly.

Posted by: Ptiza at April 01, 2005 12:40 AM (Nwck5)

13 Well I can fully understand how someone like you should take it while they can get it and all but actually I was just throwing your assinign statement back at you so don't flatter yourself too much.

Posted by: Russ at April 01, 2005 03:11 AM (ObxzR)

14 asinine. you really need to be careful wielding those big words against others, russ.

Posted by: ian at April 02, 2005 08:12 AM (YweTE)

15 Ask me if I feel bad about it.

Posted by: Russ at April 02, 2005 08:15 AM (ObxzR)

16 The more Russ rants and raves, the more astute my intial one-liner becomes.

Posted by: smotlock at April 07, 2005 11:12 PM (Nwck5)

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Today is Cindy's birthday. If you feel so inclined, head on over to Dusting My Brain and wish her a happy. While you're there, check out the Ken & Squip Show, which is a weekly podcast they do.

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According to Mookie's friend's sister-in-law's sister's friend's coworker, our town is the Swinger's Capital of the East Coast.

Good enough for Dan Rather.

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Over at Dustbury I saw an interesting snippet about changes in the 401(k) rules. Glancing over them quickly, I can see where they'll benefit a lot of people, if they're smart enough to take advantage.

The company I work for has an incredibly generous matching plan, and I was really surprised to learn just how few of the younger employees are taking advantage. We've always tried to beat it into our kid's thick skulls instill in our children the idea that you have to treat savings like a bill. Pay into it once a month at least and leave it the hell alone. It'll add up fast. We were mostly successful. Oldest daughter bought her first two cars herself and Mookie purchased her own PC when offered yet another hand-me-down model.

My plan comes in two parts: upon retirement I live simply and long enough to have to learn to like the cheap dogfood.

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1 Interesting. I didn't know about it, but I was planning on setting up an IRA after I left anyways. I see your point about younger people too. This is my very first "real" job and I set up my 401(k) right away. A lot of the people I work with don't have one. My employer started contributing after a year and I just love to go check my balance on my 401(k) and see it grow....especially after I balance my check book

Posted by: Blogeline at March 29, 2005 04:16 PM (YMz4J)

2 Well dad, you can't blame me for buying my own pc. Cause no offense, the hand-me-down you guys offered me would of made a better paper weight then a computer. =D

Posted by: Mookie at March 29, 2005 06:10 PM (ZjSa7)

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Rejected titles:

• When Dorks Attack!


• It's a dork, dork, dork, dork, dork world!


• Dorks gone wild

It's a knock-down drag-out dork-o-rama over at The Ministry of Minor Perfidy.

Round 1.
Round 2.
Round 3.

It's not pretty, but it is pretty damn funny.

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Before I knew what blogs were, I found Rachel Lucas. I googled "girls with guns" or some such nonsense and her site popped up. I read, and I was hooked. She's since retired her original place and resurfaced as the Blue-eyed Infidel, minus the internal censor and even more chock full of Ranty McRant opining.

Anyways, in honor of the very first blog I myself ever discovered, I've decided that the theme for this edition of the New Blog Showcase will be creepy floating baby heads.

Enjoy.

Let's kick this off with a trip in the ol' wayback machine to a time when every toy we played with was dangerous and deadly. How in the world did we ever survive? Could it be that only the brightest of us did? *thinks about recent headlines* Nahhhh. Thanks to Melinama at Pratie Place for reminding me of that simpler if seemingly less-safe time.

Welcome to Hermitville, a mostly fictional collection of monologues and observations. I was going to include a sample here, but couldn't decide on just one snippet. This crab can write!

aTypical Joe chimes in with I say eat him. This is a very nicely designed blog, so I say read him (is there an echo in here?)

Michael Minton is an experienced blogger who recently started The Gunner's Corner. He's going to focus on news with a conservative slant. According to the creepy floating baby head, you must go check it out.

Scared Monkeys is two guys represented by the "see no, hear no, speak no" icon. Get it? Two guys... three monkeys? Nope, me either. Anyway, they invite you to drop in and read their take on a major US news media outlet. I notice that they don't promise to not fling poo at you. So, are you feeling lucky punk?

The masthead at The Nose On Your Face reads "News so fake you'll swear it came from the mainstream media". If you like your news with a hint of onion and with a heaping side of satire, then this might be your new daily special. Don't miss the "Top 9" list either. No hints, just go.

This next new blog is written by a reservist currently stationed in Iraq. Firstly, please accept my thanks for your service to our country, and pass those thanks on to your troops as well. Secondly, if the rest of you have ever wondered what the heck all that "hooah" business is about, well, Mustang 23 has the complete word. I almost forgot to mention that the name of his place is Assumption of Command, and if you hover your mouse over his creepy floating baby head (on your left... your military left) then you'll see that the enthusiasm starts young.

Atlas Shrugged is another blog taking on today's big issues, and Pamela has started a very nice weekly roundup op-ed series. I note again that she does not promise to not fling poo at you. Hooah! (I really need to get some sleep.)

Last but certainly not least is a very new blog called Constructive Ideas, with some intriguing analysis of our educational system from an angle that hasn't occurred to me before. He writes under the moniker of 'Positive' from the state of Florida. Did you know that Florida has the highest incidence of lightning ground-strikes in the world? That's something pilots and steely-eyed missile men know.

Every blogger started somewhere, and those first few weeks are the hardest of all as you try to build up your momentum. Check out these newest members of the blogging community, leave a comment and some encouragement, and you just might discover a new daily read. That might not be enough reason for some of you. Fair enough.

Do it for the creepy floating baby heads.

Mandatory informational type goodies:
Do you have a weblog that's been open for less than three months? To join the Showcase and get the word out, send an email to showcase.carnival@gmail.com with the following info:

* The name of your blog
* The title of the post
* The url of the post
* Your name

Or use the Multi-Carnival Entry Form.

Catch previous Showcases and volunteer to host new ones at the Showcase Home.

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1 We've had our new site design for less than three months. Does that count for a link?

Btw, there's yet another round of dorkfighting up. I think I'll have a rough time topping Johno's space camp tale.

Come over and vote.

Posted by: buckethead at March 28, 2005 03:30 PM (r8pWR)

2 Great job, Ted! Combined with your recent effort with Carnival of the Recipes I think I can say that yer an even better emcee than Billy Crystal!

Posted by: Tuning Spork at March 28, 2005 10:23 PM (SmuPE)

3 I'd settle for half as good if it came with half his paycheck.

Posted by: Ted at March 29, 2005 08:04 AM (blNMI)

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Even in that most tradition-ridden culture, Japan, the influence of modernization creeps ever closer...

A tussle has broken out in Japan's tradition-bound sumo world over the right to wear pants in the ring.

Sacrelege!

Gargantuan sumo wrestlers generally compete naked but for a "mawashi," an arrangement of wrapped cloth that preserves a bare minimum of modesty.

Sumo's amateur association hit upon the idea of allowing shy youngsters to wear "sumo pants," a more substantial garment similar to cycling shorts, to try to boost the dwindling numbers of children taking up the sport, the daily Yomiuri Shimbun said on Thursday.

What's next? A kabuki version of Gigli? I'm no hidebound stick in the mud, but you have to draw the line somewhere.

And if they start allowing pants, well, I'll just have to forego my career in Sumo. I already had a great name picked out too: Yomama.

Posted by: Ted at 11:58 AM | category: Links
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Mookie was scheduled to host the New Blog Showcase this week, but instead zoomed off for the beach for Spring Break (I can totally understand that). So to cover for her, I'll be hosting the Showcase here on Rocket Jones on Monday, and Mookie will host one in the future.

Send submissions for the Showcase to:

Thanks!

Update: Around this place, confusion doesn't reign, it pours!

Posted by: Ted at 05:45 AM | category: Links
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Didja know that The Onion has a PDA compatible site?

Now you do.

Posted by: Ted at 12:13 PM | category: Links
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Alexandre Dumas was an incredibly prolific writer, best known for his "The Three Musketeers". A lost work of his that was published in serial form in a French newspaper will be released in June.

The 900-page book appeared in serial form in a French newspaper and lacked just a few chapters when Dumas died in 1870. Claude Schopp, the Dumas specialist who made the discovery, has added a short section to bring the tale to its conclusion.

The story was discovered almost ten years ago, and it's existance has been kept secret while being made ready for publication. The title is "Le Chevalier de Sainte-Hermine" (The Knight of Saint-Hermine).

In typical Dumas fashion, his characters are inserted into real history, and this time the lead character is involved in the Battle of Trafalgar.

I'm looking forward to this one.

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This is one of the coolest sites I've seen on the net, just for the implementation of the interface. The vintage pinups don't hurt either. Click and drag the pages to turn them.

Thanks to Rodger for pointing this one out.

PS. When you go to look (and I really urge you to do so), turn up your speakers and enjoy the background music too. This is a really well-done site.

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