Check out this wicked cool shirt from Stephen over at Hold the Mayo.

Posted by: Ted at 09:17 PM | category: Links
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...my true love gave to me,
thirteen sluts a'stripping.

Ok, so that's not so funny, but this version is, with more spirit and talent too.

Really, click that link and enjoy.

Thanks to Amy for the pointer.

Posted by: Ted at 07:24 PM | category: Links
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Erica pointed this one out.

Blackle.

From their "About" page:

Blackle saves energy because the screen is predominantly black. "Image displayed is primarily a function of the user's color settings and desktop graphics, as well as the color and size of open application windows; a given monitor requires more power to display a white (or light) screen than a black (or dark) screen." Roberson et al, 2002

In January 2007 a blog post titled Black Google Would Save 750 Megawatt-hours a Year proposed the theory that a black version of the Google search engine would save a fair bit of energy due to the popularity of the search engine. Since then there has been skepticism about the significance of the energy savings that can be achieved and the cost in terms of readability of black web pages.

We believe that there is value in the concept because even if the energy savings are small, they all add up. Secondly we feel that seeing Blackle every time we load our web browser reminds us that we need to keep taking small steps to save energy.

You know, this isn't such a terrible thing. They're not being complete tree-hugging dicks about it and they're right about little things adding up. I won't be using it though, because the damn thing is almost unreadable with the gray on black scheme.

Wanna bet some ex-Vice Prez already has Goregle registered?

Posted by: Ted at 07:08 PM | category: Links
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Have a little surreal here on your monitor:

Japanese McDonalds commercial.

Posted by: Ted at 06:47 PM | category: Links
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Curt Schilling does it again.

Schilling commended those who've apologized for using performance-enhancing drugs, and called on everyone accused to prove their innocence or apologize for their mistakes.

Here's an idea, why don't you prove you don't molest farm animals, or apologize for it?

So far, the "evidence" consists of testimony given by a few people who hope that their cooperation will get them lighter sentences. I guess that's proof enough for Schilling. I'm not saying that these baseball players are innocent, I'm just trying to figure out how one proves a negative.

Schilling should apologize for waterboarding kids he meets at the Special Olympics. Or prove he doesn't.

He's an idiot with a big mouth. I just wish it was muffled more when his head is up his ass.

Posted by: Ted at 10:26 PM | category: Links
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Tom, aka Triticale, has unexpectedly passed away.

Posted by: Ted at 09:25 PM | category: Links
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She's back.

Posted by: Ted at 05:16 AM | category: Links
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This is brilliant.

After the all of endless days of the California fire quagmire, it's time for America to admit that it can't win this battle. We must immediately withdraw our forces and go home. But until our so-called "leaders" in Washington wise up to the folly of their current course, all we can do is ask ourselves, "why does fire hate us?".

The comments are almost as.

The ones who want to put it out are obviously in the pocket of Big Water.

I would just like to say that I am against firefighting but for the firefighters.

I can't see how some people are saying they support putting the fire out, yet don't serve in the fire department.

ChickenHosers.

There's so much more, go check it out.

Posted by: Ted at 10:17 AM | category: Links
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Sweet Home Albania Alabama.

Thanks to Wizbang! for the pointer.

Posted by: Ted at 01:07 PM | category: Links
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What happens when you combine a viewmaster, viewmaster porn disks, and a young man with that good ol' American ingenuity?

More importantly, what happens afterwards?

Thanks to Dustbury for the pointer.

Posted by: Ted at 05:17 PM | category: Links
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The new Rocket Jones is up, all pristine and defaultish and ready for me to move in. Once I give the say so, Pixy will finalize the move and then it'll become the permanent place under this URL. So don't adjust your links, because we're going to do it all for you. We're nice like that. Well, Pixy is.

Posted by: Ted at 04:59 AM | category: Links
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1 I'm waiting to see. I'm nervous about this move, knowing nothing about templates etc. I am kind of attached to my theme, being its my family tartan. Teresa's seemed like a non-event move. So now... I'm waiting for yours!

Posted by: Bou at September 26, 2007 06:29 AM (fGpp7)

2 Shiny! I'm also curious about how smoothly you make the move. My template needs an update (and I need to confer with my co-blogger about the blog name, since he's a New Jerseyite). Good luck...

Posted by: JohnL at September 26, 2007 10:22 AM (Hs4rn)

3 I tried to comment over there and it seemed to go somewhere but isn't showing. Just FYI. Maybe it was me.

Posted by: dogette at September 26, 2007 11:35 AM (q/UVc)

4 I'll have to poke around and see about comments and stuff. I literally have done nothing with it yet, that's the default state after Pixy migrated everything over. Lucky for me, I diddled around with Minx in Beta, so there's the dreaded "Quick Start" site I started: http://quickstart.mee.nu/ It's brief but hits a few common things that newbies might want to do. Get their feet wet before diving into the templates. And as much as I dearly love the giant cheese banner, it must go. I've invested years of mental illne... er, thought into my collection of banners, and they're coming with me to the new place.

Posted by: Ted at September 26, 2007 01:28 PM (blNMI)

5 I thought you might like the cheese.

Posted by: Pixy Misa at September 26, 2007 08:37 PM (WBjXo)

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Talk Like A Pirate Day.

Arggh, pirates and rockets, shiver's me timbers, it does!

Any further bloggin' done today will be done with one o' these.

Posted by: Ted at 05:26 AM | category: Links
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I saw this thanks to Dustbury, from Writer Chick, on the subject of Assclowns:

Personally, I blame the schools. Back in the day when I was in school, you werenÂ’t taught about sexuality and multiculturism, you were taught math, english, history and economics. You were expected to use your brain and be aware of the fact that there were actually other people in the world, who also had opinions. And said opinions were expected to make sense by using facts and critical thinking. Can you say, debate club? You were expected to actually earn your grades through study, hard work and turning in legible papers, reports and passing tests. You werenÂ’t graded on a curve - you were graded on what you got right and what you got wrong.

Seems like these days you donÂ’t need facts, the ability to think or even a valid argument of any kind. Having an opionion is more than enough. And since weÂ’ve leveled the playing field, we are supposed to be willing to listen to anybody about anything, lest we show our racist, bigoted or intolerant selves. Hey, just because is a convicted serial killer and rapist doesnÂ’t mean he doesnÂ’t have a right to an opinion. Charles Manson is just a grossly misunderstood guy. Suddam wasnÂ’t hurting us, why did we hurt him? That five year old who kissed the little girl in the playground awaits trial for sexual harrassment. If heÂ’s lucky, heÂ’ll get counseling and some mind altering drugs that will set him straight.

Amen.

Posted by: Ted at 06:02 PM | category: Links
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Mookie sent this link to the first "Old Timer" T-shirt designed for today's kids. And by that, I mean, it's a shirt today's kids can wear when they become oldsters. You know, like 30 or something.

On a related note, I kinda like this one too.

Posted by: Ted at 05:19 AM | category: Links
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Local independent musician Blue sent out an email late last week:

Hi kids!

I hope this finds you all well.

I've (finally) finished the 8-song preview for the forthcoming Booze
Monkey album, "4th St."

I'm going to distribute this preview freely to anyone who is willing
to give it a listen. I'm currently preparing to print up a short run
of preview discs. I have two songs remaining to record. After
recording those I will be manufacturing the record for full
distribution (ala "Gorsky" or "Holly").

Below is a link to a zip file containing digital copies of this
preview, with lyrics and artwork embedded into the mp3s. They are
LAME encoded at 160. A preview-cover jpg and an rtf featuring lyrics
and quasi-liner notes is also included. If you use iTunes you can
simply unzip, and then drag the folder over the "playlist" portion of
iTunes to generate a gapless (important) playlist for the album with
the lyrics and artwork displayed as well.

If you are interested, please check it out. If you dig it, please
share it by any means possible... (except selling it... grin)... burn
it, rip it, mix, muddle, cut, copy, paste, et al.

The website (including the page linked below) is currently dead wood.
I will revisit it as I gear up for the launch of this record.

http://SanityCheck.net/music/music.html

The link is located in the body of the text on the page.

Smoodles!

Blue

What I'm hoping for is to set up some sort of blogmeet in Winchester, Virginia when Blue does a live show in that area. Hopefully this fall or winter. A bar-based get together with live music? What a switch, eh?

Posted by: Ted at 05:19 AM | category: Links
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This is the best unintentionally funny corporate name since Wang.

Posted by: Ted at 10:54 AM | category: Links
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Am I the only one who thinks it would be hilarious to serve Chinese food in one of these bowls?

Posted by: Ted at 04:35 PM | category: Links
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1 I'm afraid that just hits a LIT-tle too close to home for us. What a great site. Did you see the "Crazy Cat Lady Action Figure"? The dog-butt with handi-wipes coming out of it?

Posted by: dogette at September 08, 2007 05:02 PM (q/UVc)

2 HA! If I wasn't trying to tighten my belt a bit (in more ways than one) I'd pick one of those up. That's awesome

Posted by: Mad William Flint at September 08, 2007 05:52 PM (Ew03t)

3 HAX!! (Ha to the infinite power)

That's great!

I wonder if there are others in the series:

"Everything tastes better with a little pussy hair in it."

Ian

Posted by: Ian at September 08, 2007 10:48 PM (X27CB)

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It was *that* kind of week at work.

Posted by: Ted at 10:26 AM | category: Links
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Because Mookie buys me stuff like this for my birthday.

Glow-in-the-Dark Flesh Eating Zombies Play Set

You know I giggled like a little kid and immediately ran into the dark bathroom to see 'em glow.

It's the perfect accompaniment to the Horrified B-Movie Victims Figure Set that she got me for Christmas.

Hey, I've got a zombie *dog*! Not to mention the bathrobian zombie on the far right. I know Dogette is jealous.

Posted by: Ted at 03:11 PM | category: Cult Flicks
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As a Raiders fan, I hate the Broncos with a fierce burning passion. This though, has nothing to do with the team, and everything to do with one of the players on the team.

Travis Henry, irresponsible whore.

[Broncos running back Travis] Henry, 28, has fathered nine children by nine women in at least four Southern states and has been ordered by various judges to provide child support for seven of them, according to court records involving one child living in DeKalb County.

Henry gets my vote as "Athlete Most in Need of Chemical Neutering". Michael Vick is being crucified for killing dogs, but that pales in comparison, because besides the lack of personal responsibility, Travis Henry is an asshole as well:

Although he signed a five-year, $22.5 million contract with the Broncos this off-season that guarantees him $12 million, Henry's lawyer says, "He doesn't have any money."

I hate to say it, but I half expect him to be playing for the Raiders at some point,

Posted by: Ted at 10:46 PM | category: Links
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