The Giants will take it all this year. If you don't agree, too damn bad.

The Orioles fired manager Mike Hargrove today after four losing seasons and are going to talk to Hall of Famer Eddie Murray about taking the job. I'd love to see Murray as manager, but it's not going to help. The Orioles will continue to suck as long as Peter Angelos is the owner.

Posted by: Ted at 10:00 PM | category: Square Pegs
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Fairfax county Virginia is having some problems. There's some super-peeping tom running around that the police can't catch, and tonight on the news there was a report about a perv who hangs around the bus stops in the early morning and exposes himself to high-school girls.

We have a national registry for this kind of crap. We're not using it to it's full potential.

Peeping Tom, meet Joe Exposure. Problem solved.

Posted by: Ted at 06:59 PM | category: Square Pegs
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LeeAnn talks about a couple of commercials she's seen on TV, and it reminded me of my recent favorite.

The guy standing on the beach, putting notes in beer bottles and tossing them into the ocean. If you watch sports, you've probably seen it. Cracks me up every time.

"Nice to meet'cha!"

Posted by: Ted at 10:02 AM | category: Square Pegs
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Last night on the evening news, I watched a story about a homeless guy. It was presented as one of those "it could happen to you" scenarios where the successful professional is reduced to poverty. Implied was the fact that it was our economy at the root of his troubles.

Well, not quite. As the tale was told, it became apparent that someone was spinning this story as hard as they could. I'm going to tell you the story, without the editing and innuendo and camera work designed to elicit emotional response.

This homeless guy is a freelance writer. He's an older man, and a few years ago his business started to fall off. His solution at the time was to give up his apartment in Los Angeles (I want to say Laguna Beach, but I'm not positive), and spend the summer living at local camp grounds. His truck is full of camping equipment.

He's still not getting the amount of work he used to, so he's still living out of his truck. He has a cell phone. He uses public library computers to do his writing. He's not hungry, in fact in one shot they show a couple of cardboard boxes full of food in his truck. We're told that we should feel sorry for him because he doesn't have health care insurance, and that his ex-wife and kids don't want to see him because they're embarrassed about him being homeless.

This bugs me in so many ways. First of all, this man gave up his home voluntarily, he made a conscious decision to move out to reduce expenses. Second, he hasn't tried to get another job (as far as the story was told), he's just plugging away at the same job he had. Granted, the job market isn't the best, but an experienced writer can get work. While I admire his determination to work on his terms, don't paint him as some kind of victim when he doesn't succeed. Third, a lot of people don't have health care. I'm a lot more sympathetic to children or folks who were put out of work by factory closings than I am by him. How much does that cell phone cost every month? Add that to whatever he'd earn working part time at McDonalds and see if maybe that just wouldn't cover it, if it's that important to him. I don't think it is, I think we were supposed to think "universal health care would be a good thing" instead.

This guy isn't tragic. He's not a victim. He's made choices with consequences. Nothing was shown that would keep him from making changes in his life if he wanted to. We used to admire people like him because of their integrity, their refusal to change to meet society's standards. But in today's world, since he doesn't fit the "norm" as defined by whoever crafted this story, he's held up as an example of failure.

I intentionally used the word "crafted" about this story, because it was obviously slanted to lead viewers towards certain conclusions. I just hope it bothered more people than just me when they watched it.

Posted by: Ted at 07:47 AM | category: Square Pegs
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Since when did teetering on the brink of Darwin Award immortality qualify as sport?

The other day I saw a picture in the paper in which a horse was jumping over a barracade. It was a nice photo, a head-on view that captured the grace and power of the horse as he completed his jump. Completely ruining the majesty of the picture was the idiot on roller blades behind the horse, hanging on to a towrope, midway through the same jump.

Huh?

IÂ’ve seen two events that epitomize the stupidity. I canÂ’t even bring myself to call them sport. Yes, they both require skill and physical effort and possibly even talent, but so does rock climbing.

One event consists of two guys jumping out of an airplane. During the freefall period, one guy does all kinds of acrobatics with a boogie board strapped to his feet. HeÂ’s literally surfing the sky. The second member of the team has a video camera strapped to his head, and his job is to film the first guy. Their score is the combined totals of not only the acrobatics, but the quality of the camera work. How well in-frame did he stay? Interesting angles?

Calling this a sport is stretching it. To be truly extreme, forget the parachutes and let’s see how dedicated you are to your ‘sport’.

The second ‘sport’ is a classic example of piling on. Add complexity beyond all reason and common sense, for no reason other than to be more extreme. The first time I saw this event, they led in with a montage of guys on motorcycles, doing tricks and leg kicks and stuff while in mid-air after jumping off a ramp. Ok, this is a step up from Evel Knievel, whose daredevil stuff I don’t consider a sport either.

But weÂ’re piling on, remember? This event is a winter sport. These fools are screaming down this chute on a motorcycle with spiked tires and up a ramp covered with ice! The landing area is ice too. And the simple leg kicks and such are so last year. These guys are pulling out all the stops and doing back flips on their motorcycles, and one dude brought the crowd to their feet by getting off his bike in mid-air and letting go of the handlebars. This guy actually flew alongside his bike for a couple of seconds before getting back on in time to land. On ice.

I mentioned talent. Apparently a complete lack of common sense qualifies.

In the last year, a major extreme skateboarder – supposedly a professional – died of massive injuries when he fell multiple stories from a hotel fire escape. He was riding the handrails down on his board.

Two world-class mountaineers died when they decided to be the first to ski down a mountain from the summit. The peak was mostly ice, and the last time one was seen he was on his back, sliding out of control. The other managed to accidentally snag the rope of a group of ascending climbers, and almost killed most of them as well as himself.

Even television commercials are appearing that make fun of the excesses of extreme sports. This after a long run of commercials showing us how cool it was to be extreme. I’m sick of the word ‘extreme’.

I'm looking for investors for my new NASCAR towed-luge league. Any adrenalin junkies out there? This could be the next big thing.

Update: Forget luge, check out Extreme Ironing, the "latest danger sport that combines the thrills of an extreme outdoor activity with the satisfaction of a well pressed shirt."

Posted by: Ted at 10:42 AM | category: Square Pegs
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From this story about deporting illegal aliens caught on the U.S. side of the border with Mexico.

The Mexican government has protested the U.S. practice of handcuffing migrants with a chain that wraps around their waists during the airplane ride.

"If they have to deport us, they shouldn't treat us like criminals," said Martin Romero, 38, a field worker from Durango. "It's humiliating. We're just working people."

No, you're breaking the law. That makes you a criminal. And what is this 'migrants' crap? More political correctness, because we wouldn't want to hurt the criminals feelings now, would we.

While one of the biggest complaints is the dislocation caused by the long-distance deportations, the Mexican government rejected a U.S. offer to deport undocumented migrants back to their hometowns, at the U.S. government's expense.

Mexican Assistant Foreign Secretary Enrique Berruga said a previous program that deported migrants home in the mid-1990s was abandoned because Mexicans objected to being flown home.

Probably because if we just dump them back across the border then they can hook up with the next smuggler and try again. And keep trying until they make it successfully.

Posted by: Ted at 07:50 PM | category: Square Pegs
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Dead of a heart attack at age 54. This sucks.

Posted by: Ted at 09:45 AM | category: Square Pegs
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U.S. District Judge Lee R. West's telephone has not stopped ringing since he sided with telemarketers seeking to block a popular national do-not-call list.

"They are just calling to tie up our lines," said Rick Wade, operations manager at the district clerk's office. "They just keep calling to harass us, like the telemarketers harass them, I guess."

Ya think?

Posted by: Ted at 08:09 PM | category: Square Pegs
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I was in a rotten mood driving in this morning, helped along by heavy traffic and people who donÂ’t know how to drive in it. Add in the fact that I woke up not a multi-millionaire and actually having to work for a living, and the day was off to a less-than-spectacular start. So while I was in the olÂ’ stop-and-go, I was thinking about a few things.

MacÂ’s vs. PCÂ’s. This reminds me of the whole democrat/republican debate, and my favorite quote about same. IÂ’ll paraphrase:

IÂ’ve got news for you Mac people, PCÂ’s are better. The market says so. Like it or not, Bill Gates is a better businessman than clan Apple, and his products are more useful to computer users. If it wasnÂ’t true, weÂ’d talk about Microsoft in the same way we talk about Commodore and Atari and Tandy. So grow up, enjoy the things that Macs do well and quitcher bitching.

I couldn’t think of a religion that doesn’t have ‘spread the word’ as a basic foundation. This makes sense, because what good is a religion (or any other social movement for that matter) which doesn’t attempt to grow? It’s also depressing, because this also means a continuation of religious-based strife. If everybody believes they’re right, then the only solution is elimination of the other guy. As for religious tolerance, the only time it happens it when it’s forced upon them, and it’s seldom comfortable for either side.

SUVÂ’s should be taxed like trucks. If youÂ’re driving a 19-passenger land yacht, itÂ’s a truck, not a car. If youÂ’re driving a do-nothing SUV-wannabe, then youÂ’re stupid and should be taxed for being an idiot (weÂ’ll just call it a truck tax). What to do with the extra revenue? Research into battery technology, because like it or not, thatÂ’s where the next big energy breakthrough is gonna happen. Notice IÂ’m not saying that SUVÂ’s should be taken off the road. Free choice is still free choice, but 90% of the folks driving SUVÂ’s donÂ’t need them, which proves that theyÂ’re stupid, and should be taxed.

Hell, call it the SUV lottery. Most of ‘em will line up to buy extra tickets.

Update: I was reminded of the judge who put the hold on the Do-Not-Call list. We've instituted a new policy in our house. Listen politely to determine source of the call, because we're nice to police, fire department, and veterans organizations doing fundraising. Anyone else, we get loud and verbally abusive. Screw it, they called me, so they must want to hear me, right? Oh yeah, they're gonna hear it all right...

Posted by: Ted at 08:25 AM | category: Square Pegs
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1 We had a Tandy...I think it was a T-180, but that's stretching waaaay back in the ol' memory. Remember that bounce a ball against the little squares along the wall with a paddle game? I wish I still had that game. (sigh)

Posted by: Jennifer at September 25, 2003 10:31 AM (E9paH)

2 Jen's talking about "Breakout". We had it on Atari. On the Tandy (a 186! used 5 1/4" floppies!) I played Leisure Suit Larry, Quest for Glory and solitare.....
[psst...Susie! Your age is showing again....]

Posted by: Susie at September 25, 2003 01:25 PM (0+cMc)

3 My first PC was an Atari 800, and it used a cassette for data storage! Oh yeah, my first modem was 300 baud. I dreamed of being able to afford 1200. LOL

Posted by: Ted at September 25, 2003 01:27 PM (bov8n)

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She's like a houseguest that just won't leave.

According to radio reports, almost 200,000 people still are without power in Virginia. Flooding continues, closing major commuter routes, and one of the mass transit lines is shut down because of an enormous 20 foot deep sinkhole.

The massive amount of rain we got night before last (about 2" for us, some areas got up to 6") caused a little flooding in my basement. We handled it easily, because it happens almost every time we get significant rain.

The morning commute has been a bear the last couple of days, but I'm counting my blessings because I didn't have to deal with the mess yesterday. They had to close a 6-lane drawbridge for emergency repairs, but that was north of me, and I live south. Whew!

Sometimes it's better to be lucky than good.

Posted by: Ted at 07:58 AM | category: Square Pegs
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Spring has sprung,
Fall has fell,
It's the end of September,
And wetter than usual.

with apologies to Nipsy Russell.

Posted by: Ted at 07:36 AM | category: Square Pegs
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Nic posted her favorite joke. Hey Victor, how can you not love that? That's funny!

Since it's apparently going around, I'll toss in my contribution.

What's green and sits in your backyard?

Paddy O'Furniture.

Posted by: Ted at 11:54 AM | category: Square Pegs
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I'm not a fair-weather fan, but last night my beloved Oakland Raiders looked like an old team a year past their prime. They're going to win some games, and possibly even make the playoffs, but it's going to be a roller-coaster ride this year.

Posted by: Ted at 07:10 AM | category: Square Pegs
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1. Dogs are never permitted in the house. The dog stays outside in a specially built wooden compartment named, for a very good reason, the dog house.

2. Okay, the dog can enter the house, but only for short visits or if his own house is under renovation.

3. Okay, the dog can stay in the house on a permanent basis, provided his dog house can be sold in a yard sale to a rookie dog owner.

4. Inside the house, the dog is not allowed to run free and is confined to a comfortable but secure metal cage.

5. Okay, the cage becomes part of a two-for-one deal along with the dog house in the yard sale, and the dog can go wherever the heck he pleases.

6. The dog is never allowed on the furniture.

7. Okay, the dog can get on the old furniture but not the new furniture.

8. Okay, the dog can get up on the new furniture until it looks like the old furniture and then we'll sell the whole darn works and buy new furniture... upon which the dog will most definitely not be allowed.

9. The dog never sleeps on the bed. Period.

10. Okay, the dog can sleep at the foot of the bed.

11. Okay, the dog can sleep alongside you, but he's not allowed under the covers.

12. Okay, the dog can sleep under the covers, but not with his head on a pillow.

13. Okay, the dog can sleep alongside you under the covers with his head on the pillow, but if he snores he's got to leave the room.

14. Okay, the dog can sleep and snore and have nightmares in bed, but he's not to come in and sleep on the couch in the TV room, where I'm now sleeping. That's just not fair.

15. The dog never gets listed on the census questionnaire as "primary resident", even if it's true.

Posted by: Ted at 05:16 PM | category: Square Pegs
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A neighbor called this evening, letting us know that some friend of hers had called and said our water wasn't safe after the storm. It was during dinner, so my wife said she'd look for some info on the internet and let her know what was up.

Turns out that certain areas of our county get their water from Fairfax county, where they lost power at the water treatment plants. The notice warning us about the potential for unsafe water was buried on the county website. They tried real hard to spread the word. (sarcasm ff)

We're ok, because the morning of the storm we filled the dogs water with fresh, and we stockpiled quite a bit of water for drinking and cooking. Since it was there, that's what we've been using instead of tapwater. No real reason, just because.

If my neighbors turn into zombies from drinking mutant water, do I have to actually let them enter the house before I shoot them in the head?

Posted by: Ted at 11:21 PM | category: Square Pegs
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Taking a break... Mookie and mom went to work today, so I'm handling the cleanup by myself. It's not that bad. I just finished raking the backyard of all the sticks and leaves, and then swept the patio and walks. Now all that's left is putting things back where they belong, like flower pots and bird feeders. Found quite a few frogs, and managed to steer two into the raised flower bed before the dogs discovered them. It's fun watching the dogs find little creatures, because they've never hurt one yet, but man do they act fierce. And once the beastie gets away through the fence, then they come over for lovin' since I owe them my life. Funny as hell.

Seriously though, Sam our oldest dog (Skye terrier), will place himself between anything like that and my wife, and will not let it pass. He's getting up there in age, but acts like a youngster again when it comes to protecting the wife. He's a damn good dog.

We may have a casualty from the storm. Last night I went to run a load of laundry, and I think I may have damaged the water pump on the washer. For some reason, our water pressure in the neighborhood was low, and I'm guessing that the water pump had to work extra hard trying to do it's job. Now the washer is dripping water (into the tub) which isn't a good sign. The washer we have now is probably five or six years old, but the one before that was 'the washer that would not die', so we were terribly spoiled. I'll be annoyed, but not surprised if we have to get a new one in the near future.

Working outside for an hour, and I'm bushed. This last week took more out of me than I realized. Oh well. Back to it! Get these plants out and watered before Mr. Sun reaches their spot.

Posted by: Ted at 10:22 AM | category: Square Pegs
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Everyone has 'hot' words that just make them cringe when used. I'm not talking about racially charged words or swear words. Just the everyday words that really bug them.

For example, I used to go bananas when my kids said they hated someone. For me, 'hate' isn't a word a child should be using against someone else. It was kind of hammered home one day when a group of kids, including mine, came up and announced that (talking about another kid) "they hated that idiot". Two parents immediated got involved, me and another dad, but while I was talking to mine about 'hating', he was chewing his kids out for the word 'idiot'. He couldn't stand the word. Drove him up a wall.

Later we were talking and I mentioned it. He thought I was kind of naive for the 'hate' thing and I tried to explain it wasn't just the word itself, it was the word applied to someone else for no reason other than you're mad at them at that moment. I asked him how he managed without the word idiot since there were so many of them around, and he cracked me up when he said the word asshole was a pretty decent substitute.

What makes you cringe when a child speaks? What words set you off no matter who says them?

Posted by: Ted at 08:41 AM | category: Square Pegs
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(warning: full-on snark post follows)

Frnak Ethel wrote: "Since piracy really ended centuries ago, my main concern when encountering pirates would be how to get back to my own time."

I know it was a joke about pirates. He needed to say it as the setup to the punch line. But it struck me totally wrong, mainly in that Rush Limbaugh ‘any statement I pull out of my butt instantly becomes a fact’ kinda way.

Pirates are not just from hundreds of years ago. Not only does piracy still happen, but todayÂ’s pirates are infinitely more ruthless and bloodthirsty than our romantic image of them. Usually, a meeting with a modern pirate happens only once, because they automatically kill the crews of the ships they hijack. On rare occasions the passengers or crew (judged worth the trouble) may be sold to other groups interested in ransoming hostages. ItÂ’s an ongoing problem, and itÂ’s serious in parts of the world.

Posted by: Ted at 04:25 PM | category: Square Pegs
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I usually don't pay much attention to the entertainment world, but this one struck a nerve.

Spike Lee, whose movies often have a political edge, says Americans need to think more about important issues and lay off the fluff.

Like suing because you think your first name is a trademark?

Fucking idiot.

Posted by: Ted at 10:05 AM | category: Square Pegs
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Before I try to get to sleep.

I saw Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring today for the first time. I've been holding off because I wanted to see them all at one time. Damn, it was goooood.

I also saw Fast and the Furious this week for the first time. A lot better than I expected.

The federal government in Washington DC announced it would be closed tomorrow. This kinda sucks because my policy is that if I take a day off, it's my leave. If Uncle Sam takes a day, I charge them 8 hours regular time (like for blizzards, etc). I've already let everyone know that I was taking the rest of this week off sick, dammit.

My wife has to work until noon tomorrow. Dammit.

We have a parking spot right in front of our townhouse that we usually use. My new neighbor is a nitwit, and has been bitching about us monopolizing that space. Tonight it was open so he gleefully pulled in and made a big deal about getting 'our' space. When it rains hard tomorrow, that space will flood, probably high enough to flood the inside of his POS. Dumbass. I made sure there are fresh batteries in the cameras, because I want to take pictures of him trying to save his raft.

Goodnight.

Posted by: Ted at 10:55 PM | category: Square Pegs
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