December 31, 2007
Now Here's Someone Looking Forward to Dinner!
Much like you loyal
Rocket Jones stalkers readers and commenters (not always the same to my chagrin), who return regularly to view my little corner of this grand trainwreck that Al Gore wrought.
Enjoy. I do believe that she will.
![yummyham.jpg](http://rocketjones.mu.nu/archives/images/yummyham.jpg)
Oh yes, to a frightening degree, she will be enjoying it.
And tomorrow, a visual depiction on what to expect from the 2008 version of Rocket Jones!
Posted by: Ted at
11:00 AM | category: Square Pegs
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I feel the same way looking forward to the NEW Rocket Jones.
I just don't know if that is scarier for you or for me!
Posted by: Stephen Macklin at December 31, 2007 11:29 AM (Z3kjO)
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I have a pic of me somewhere with that same haircut.
¡Prospero Año Nuevo! to you and yours, Ted.
Still waiting for in-flight photos...
![](http://smilies.mee.nu/light/15_yellow/icon_surprised.gif)
)
Posted by: Joan of Argghh! at December 31, 2007 09:04 PM (8F+iI)
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LOL
In-flight photos will be a long time a-coming.
First, gotta build the rocket. Second, gotta wait for one of the monthly launches when conditions are favorable. Third, gotta get the film developed and see if anything actually is worth posting.
When it works, it's spectacular, but this is strictly bottom-of-the-line equipment.
I still love it though, and can't wait to try it!
Posted by: Ted at December 31, 2007 09:33 PM (yRolC)
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December 28, 2007
Ted's Booty
I'm talking loot from Santa, of course.
Made out like a bandit this year. Nothing unusual I guess, because we tend to go way overboard on gifts since we start Christmas shopping in the summer and would all rather get lots of little things rather than one giant gift-wrapped coolness.
Before I make you envy me though, I want to mention the hands down bestest gifts given this year. My wife, Liz, has worked since August on photo album/scrapbooks, customized for each of the kids and one for her parents. Well over 200 pages of memories each (I don't even want to think about what the ink cost!), plus a CD-Rom of all the photos from each book, plus more that weren't printed, and on top of all that Liz made embroidered covers for each book. Absolutely amazing.
So, here's some of what I got:
A new harmonica (key of A)
Electronic guitar tuner
A gadget to help build rockets
A rocket with a built in camera for taking in-flight photos
Book on writing horror
10th anniversary edition of Myst/Riven/Exile
And movies (surprise, surprise), filling some gaps in my collection:
The Living Coffin (mexican horror)
Zombie 2 (Fulci's Italian classic)
My Favorite Year (Peter O'Toole, one of my favorite actors)
Groundhog Day (Bill Murray)
Evil Dead (Bruce Campbell)
Groundhog Day (Bill Murray)
House/House II (underated)
Groundhog Day (Bill Murray)
Predator
Groundhog Day (Bill Murray)
plus a 50-movie pack called Night Screams, packed full of B-movie drive-in-ish goodness
Rachael also cracked me up with "The Disappearing Civil Liberties" Mug. It has the Bill of Rights written on the side, and when you pour hot coffee or tea into it, the writing disappears. Makes me laugh every time (with a hint of rueage to be sure).
So how was your Christmas?
Posted by: Ted at
09:54 PM | category: Square Pegs
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What? It's December 29th already, and no in-flight pics from the rocket yet? Sheeyah, ya Slacker, get busy!
Posted by: Joan of Argghh! at December 29, 2007 08:10 AM (8F+iI)
2
Is it safe to assume we'll be seeing one or two of those 97 copies of
Groundhog Day on eBay soon?
Posted by: Victor at December 30, 2007 09:54 PM (kLJvP)
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December 26, 2007
Mmmmm
Rachael bought a dehydrator a while ago, but left it in our kitchen because she really shouldn't have it in her dorm room. Mostly, we use it to make apple, banana and papaya chips for the bunnies.
Yesterday we sliced up a fresh pineapple and started the machine. Last night Rachael described the results as "a bitch slap of flavor!"
Posted by: Ted at
04:39 PM | category: Square Pegs
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Ooo, that sounds good. Just how dry can they get?
Posted by: Tuning Spork at December 26, 2007 08:46 PM (XYHQL)
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We cut the slices about 1/4" thick, so they're not leather dry, just chewy. We've dried apples to the point where they're brittle enough to snap.
Posted by: Ted at December 26, 2007 09:27 PM (yRolC)
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Off topic: I could probably amuse myself for hours just constantly clicking on your banner and making it change from one banner to the next. Kinda like a box of chocolates...you never know WHAT you gonna get.
Posted by: ericasherman at December 27, 2007 09:34 PM (OQDyt)
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![](http://smilies.mee.nu/light/15_yellow/icon_smile.gif)
I'm glad you enjoy the banners. I've been adding to them since this site started. Got a couple of ideas for new ones too, just gotta find time to create them.
Posted by: Ted at December 30, 2007 08:07 AM (yRolC)
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December 24, 2007
It's Not In the Regular Banner Rotation
...so I'll just post it here.
![Happy Holidays](http://rocketjones.mu.nu/archives/images/RJSanta4.jpg)
Have a very Merry Christmas and a wonderful holiday season.
Posted by: Ted at
12:14 AM | category: Square Pegs
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December 23, 2007
Thank You, Al Gore
As I mentioned, oldest daughter Robyn and son-in-law Henry are heading up to New Hampshire to surprise his mom for Christmas. They left Norfolk at o'dark thirty this morning and are now in Hartford, Connecticut, where they have a hotel for the night.
A half hour ago, the phone rings. It's the kids, needing a little help. They're staying in a Sheraton (great rate for the night, and it's right off the interstate), and when they asked for a local dining list, it's full of "fine" dining choices that they can't afford and have no interest in anyway.
Kids today solve problems in ways that us geezers would never think of. After explaining the situation, they ask if I'm near a computer, then if I could look up local restaurants for them. Soon, they've decided that they want to eat at Olive Garden, and within minutes I'm giving them directions to the nearest one, within 10 miles of their hotel.
Only one glitch, the directions take them on a toll road, and they'd rather not if they don't have to. Another few minutes, and I'm dictating directions that uses major side roads and alternate routes that's shorter (not necessarily faster) and avoids those pesky tolls that New Englanders are so fond of.
I better hear no crap from my daughter when I call late one night from the road, requesting directions to the nearest titty bar.
Posted by: Ted at
05:02 PM | category: Square Pegs
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Schwartzenegger insists the victims of the 2007 Southern California firestorm temporarily residing at Jack Murphy Stadium are happy.
First he calls Tonight Show host Jay Leno an "idiot". Then he drops this bomb.
If it were Gray Davis the gods would have their media attack him mercilessly for these mistakes. Together they may be enough to cost any other politician his career. But not Arnold Schwartzenegger.
They say he makes comments like these all the time, clues which are all buried. And it's because they have BIG plans for him::::He is a tool who will be used to accomplish historical evil for the gods.
They say there is a strange sense of "unease" at the State Capital, like he doesn't belong there. And he doesn't. He is not American. Sadly this is an issue that is too readily discounted:::::
He is not from the United States. His loyalties lie with a country that was the enemy of the United States a mere 65 years ago.
Just as we witnessed with Clinton in 1992 expect blacks to register and vote en masse for Schwartzenegger as well, a clue and a red flag.
Just as we haven't seen any more of that "Everybody is happy." idiocy from the Preditor so do we no longer hear anything of the possibility a firefighter started one if not more of these SoCal fires, buried forever.
Weight training (promoted in every prison system in the country), promotion of pharmeceuticals (steroids), desensitizing "guy flicks" all prove the name "Preditor" is warranted.
Less than 24 hours passed after a traffic accident on I-5 before Schwartzenegger declared a state of emergency, but it took over 2 full days before he did the same for the San Francisco Bay envionmental disaster incident. The gods are offering a clue.
The gods love reverse positioning, and this Austrian genocide issue is an OUTSTANDING example:::
There is symbolism between the two:::Hitler was an Austian-born leader of a foreign nation.
It appears as if Hitler is a monster. When Schwartzenegger does his thing he will appear as a hero, an enforcer of decency. Quite the opposite is true, ironically.
Monsters like Al Capone, violent gangsters from the 20s and 30s thought they were going up. Instead they were routed into the Nazi death camps::::This Austrian genocide event disposed of these monsters.
Schwartzenegger's genocide event will dispose of society's VICTIMS, people who are the way they are (abusive, abrasive, violent, criminal) BECAUSE of their disfavor.
People will say the Italians were pushed into it too, but I'd like to remind you black evidence is contradictory (crack, AIDS, etc). Italian evidence REINFORCES corruption (1906, ). Based on these clues it is safe to say the Italians are more disfavored than Africans.
Ironically, Hiter is the enforcer of decency. Schwartzenegger is the monster. But the movies already prove Schwartzenegger is a promoter of indencency, so when his genocide event happens there will be no secrets.
This exposure from me can change their script. Or, more appropriately said, alter the Manifest Destiny's senarios to fall in line with the god's script.
That means Schwartzenegger was never going to be used. But I think the evidence we have suggests he in fact IS the one foreshadowed with the Hitler figure, his genocide event foreshadowed with the Holocaust.
And, ironically, blacks will show up at the polls to vote for their own deaths.
There is one geographic clue I have not addressed in years:::Uranus, a planet tilted 90 degrees on its axis. I have stated in years past that I think this is a clue offered by the gods suggesting the fate of planet Earth, that tectonic plate subduction would be the method of disposal:::EarthÂ’s axis will shift breaking continental plates free and initiating mass subduction.
Undesirables will either perish in the government marijuana erradication program "gone awry" or be the recipients of reparations granted by the US government because of it.
I believe the New Testiment battle of the Anti-Christ and the Second Coming of Christ will ocurr in subsequent years SPECIFICALLY because these people will be distracted with the money during the event.
When the Earth's axis shifts people will be cast into outer space with gold cards in hand.
I think this was foreshadowed on an episode of the Simpsons where Homer and Bart are on the disfavored ship and eject, only to experience a sense of euphoria, expand then explode in the vacuum of space.
Vienna was the center of the music world for a reason.
Any middle age person today remembers the excitement surrounding classical music in the mid-20th century.
Classical music was "in play". Expect the same "magic" was employed back then as well.
Motzart's ugly for a reason. Similarly, Schwartzenegger's appearance is suspect as well.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Reparations for a government marijuana erradication program gone awry a.wav
Reparations for a government marijuana erradication program gone awry b.wav
Posted by: Things I've ruined:::Dick Clark at December 31, 2007 07:09 PM (2KruG)
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On the Subject of Squirrels
Not that we were, but since when has that ever stopped me?
Dogette has been dealing with the tree-beasties.
Bitterman has in the past.
(no specific links, just go and scroll, consider it my present to all Rocket Jones readers)
As most of you know, my daughter Rachael goes to Mary Baldwin College, where the team name is the "Fighting Squirrels" (even more inexplicably, their mascot is named "Gladys").
We exchanged a few gifts last night over at my other daughter's house (they left today for a New Hampshire Christmas with son-in-law's family), and we gifted Rachael with a t-shirt showing a couple of squirrels and reads:
Sure, it's all fun and games until someone loses a nut.
Maybe not so inexplicable after all.
Posted by: Ted at
04:53 PM | category: Square Pegs
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December 21, 2007
Dear Gangbanger That I Insulted on the Drive Home
I won't deny it, I was laughing at you.
I'm sure that you're glare is usually very intimidating, but I'd been watching you in the back seat of your homie's SUV, and I was greatly amused.
You see, when you ride along with your head hanging out the window, trying to peep the women in the traffic around you, you look like a damn dog.
Posted by: Ted at
04:09 PM | category: Square Pegs
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December 20, 2007
Spirited
There has been a definite lack of Christmas spirit around the officeplace, which was fine with me. That all changed this morning when I walked in and found the place completely decorated by a couple of "anonymous" elves. Not only that, but there are goodies and little gifts left on everybody's desk. I'm wearing an elf hat, complete with pointy ears, and enjoying a sweet little nibble with my tea.
Thank you, little elves. I needed this.
Posted by: Ted at
05:52 AM | category: Square Pegs
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Please, please, please use your Christmas spirit AT ONCE to go out and buy some NOG for the office refrigerator.
Posted by: dogette at December 21, 2007 07:25 AM (q/UVc)
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December 19, 2007
Gets My Vote For "Most Overused"
No, not Paris Hilton.
I'm tired of the phrase "You can't make this stuff up".
Yes, you can.
Posted by: Ted at
05:25 AM | category: Square Pegs
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I'd be happy with Iced Coffee, w/ half & half, but I'm learning that it seems to be a cafe delicacy relegated exclusively to the Tri-State Area. Order Iced Coffee in the South, and peeps look at you all funny, like you're asking for chocolate covered ants, or something.
You can't make this stuff up.
[Sorry, I had to.]
Posted by: ericasherman at December 19, 2007 12:02 PM (OQDyt)
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It's Not Special If Everyone Does It Badly
All the hotel chains now offer a "continental breakfast". I've seen a few, very few, that are actually worth having. Most feature your choice of raisin bran or fruit loops, a basket of brown fruit, envelopes of oatmeal in the flavors that nobody likes, stacks of bread and thawed waffles next to a toaster, and a selection of stale mini-muffins and even more stale mini-danish. All washed down with coffee-colored hot water and watered-down orange or apple juice.
You know what I'd like to see? How about a pot of really good coffee? That's all.
And if people bitch because they want free bad food? Give 'em directions to the nearest 7-11 and tell 'em to buy their own freakin' frozen waffles.
Posted by: Ted at
05:06 AM | category: Square Pegs
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I'd be happy with Iced Coffee, w/ half & half, but I'm learning that it seems to be a cafe delicacy relegated exclusively to the Tri-State Area. Order Iced Coffee in the South, and peeps look at you all funny, like you're asking for chocolate covered ants, or something.
You can't make this stuff up.
[Sorry, I had to.]
Posted by: Erica at December 19, 2007 10:01 AM (OQDyt)
2
Yep, I'd love JUST GOOD COFFEE. I'd gladly sacrifice all the crappy kid-fingered sneezed-on bagels and bread-for-toasting for JUST GOOD COFFEE.
Posted by: dogette at December 19, 2007 10:45 AM (q/UVc)
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Wait a sec......Fluffy the Spamhound bounced my ass, and my comment appeared anyways? That makes me look like a freakin' doofus $p@mb0t.
oy.
Posted by: ericasherman at December 19, 2007 11:30 PM (OQDyt)
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December 17, 2007
Best Line of the Weekend
In a weekend full of zingers and one-liners fired by all and in every direction, one stands out.
The graduation ceremony for Old Dominion University was held in the arena where ODU basketball is played (called "the Ted"... no relation). Before the ceremony started the concession stands were open, because the U isn't going to miss a single opportunity to make a few bucks.
So the very first speaker says:
I would like to remind everyone that this graduation ceremony is an event that deserves the utmost dignity.
To which Jeff replied:
You blew that when you decided to sell nachos.
That exchange barely topped my wife Liz, who zinged Jason with this one:
Jason: I have a 60 inch television.
Liz: Sorry to hear you have a little penis.
Jason was speechless, although no one could tell because we were all howling and rolling on the floor.
A grand weekend.
Posted by: Ted at
10:11 PM | category: Square Pegs
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December 13, 2007
See ya in a few days
Tomorrow we're headed down to Norfolk for oldest daughter's graduation from Old Dominion University. Depending on traffic and the weather 'round these here parts, we'll be back some time Sunday.
Oh, on a random note... was treated to lunch today at the Fort Meyers Officers Club. On base we passed by General Petraeus' home.
Posted by: Ted at
08:15 PM | category: Square Pegs
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Bring Our Troops Home!
From Germany, that is.
I heard on the news this morning that some German minister threatened to boycott future US climate talks unless we agreed to follow their lead in Bali.
Let's see. Since adopting Kyoto, most of Europe - including Germany - have not only *not* met their reduction goals but have mostly ignored them because they've proved to be unreachable without major damage to their economy.
But that inconvenient truth doesn't stop them from lecturing the US. Who, by the way, is actually making progress towards reducing greenhouse gas emissions by using modern technology.
So I say lets reduce our carbon footprint in Germany by closing down every last damn military base and bringing the troops home. Some would probably be shifted to Poland or other eastern European countries, you know, the ones who actually want us there.
Less money for western Europe. We could spend some of the savings on health care for the kids who really need it here at home.
Posted by: Ted at
05:58 AM | category: Square Pegs
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December 10, 2007
*Yawn*
The Hollywood writers are still on strike.
I hadn't even noticed.
Posted by: Ted at
06:10 AM | category: Square Pegs
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You mean they pay people to write that stuff?
I'm definitely working too hard for a living.
Posted by: Stephen Macklin at December 10, 2007 06:56 AM (Z3kjO)
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You know what really cemented it for me?
The return of American Gladiators.
This is what happens when you don't have people who will write brilliant shows like Heroes or Battlestar Galactica. *grumble*
Ian
Posted by: Ian Thomas Healy at December 10, 2007 07:52 AM (RLdUh)
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I only noticed the strike because of no House MD. :-( I like House. He's one dry sarcastic bastard.
Posted by: dogette at December 11, 2007 04:24 PM (q/UVc)
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This is precisely why I am hooked on old "Alice" re-runs. "Kiss my grits" 100 times a night is better -- at least, to me -- than most of the shmutz on the tube these days.
Posted by: ericasherman at December 11, 2007 05:39 PM (QvlE2)
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Rachael is a *huge* House fan. I'll probably borrow the series from her once she gets the entire set, because if I start to watch it now, they'll cancel it tomorrow. Every time.
Posted by: Ted at December 11, 2007 07:25 PM (yRolC)
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pssst! Posted a video just for you.
Posted by: Tuning Spork at December 11, 2007 10:57 PM (cs+dV)
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What!?! There's a strike?!?
It's been years since the husband let me have the remote. I don't know anything.
Posted by: Roses at December 13, 2007 08:45 PM (cOGm4)
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December 09, 2007
All Whiney Bitch, All the Time
I get my stitches out tomorrow and the results of the tissue biopsy are due as well. All is expected to be normal, in which case I can officially stop obsessing over this freakin' skin cancer episode.
Last Monday I made a quickie doctor's appointment because it felt like I had an ear infection. I'm not a hypochondriac, but when I need to go see the doc, I do it. Over the last six months, I've seen the docs way too often. So yeah, I had an ear infection. Both ears, in fact, along with a sinus infection. After four days on antibiotics, not only were the ears not feeling better, they were hurting. Another call to the doctor's office resulted in a new prescription, the antibiotic equivalent of a surgical nuclear strike. I'm all for that. I started the new regime yesterday, but it'll take a day or two to really start kicking in, and in the meantime I've been popping tylenol like candy to keep myself from driving an icepick through my eardrum. And sleeping. I don't sleep much, I've never needed all that much. Yet I've probably slept 36 out of the last 48 hours, and been miserable every waking moment.
This has got to end. I've had one helluva string of minor medical mindfucks, and I'm ready to surrender. Hear that God? UNCLE already!!!!!
Posted by: Ted at
08:07 AM | category: Square Pegs
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JEEZ you poor thing. OW. I've had lots of shit zapped off and a couple "bibopsies" (My Big Fat Greek Wedding reference). Ear infections are nothing to mess with, so I'm REALLY glad you went to the doc for it.
Posted by: dogette at December 09, 2007 12:54 PM (q/UVc)
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As someone with chronic "swimmer's ear", I feel your pain. I always keep my super-awesome magical ear drops in stock after the long holiday weekend when I had a flare-up and nothing to fix it with. Felt like a pussy, going to the emergency clinic for an earache, but they are MISERABLE.
And good luck with the biopsy, it's always forever to get the news back, even if it's not, you know what I mean?
Posted by: Jennifer at December 09, 2007 02:00 PM (rQe2f)
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Oh, and the obsessing probably won't be over. I had a mole removed 15 years ago, and I still have mole and freckle paranoia.
Posted by: Jennifer at December 09, 2007 02:01 PM (rQe2f)
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I have to agree w/ Jen about the obsessing thingy. You'll look differently at every little bump that pops up.
And a little advice on the stronger antibiotics, if I may? Start eating yogurt while you're on 'em.
Posted by: Victor at December 09, 2007 03:57 PM (kLJvP)
Posted by: Ted at December 09, 2007 10:25 PM (yRolC)
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Isn't it fun getting old(er)?
My husband had a cancer scare when he first retired from the Navy a few years ago and just this year they found a "lump" on his thyroid and did a biopsy as well. All is well though and no cancer was found.
As for the ear and sinus infection, I hope that your meds work and you get well soon. I hate being sick. The boys in my house all just went through something and all of them ended up in the ER with high temps etc. Yuck.
Posted by: Blogeline at December 10, 2007 01:00 PM (YMz4J)
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Antibiotics kill off helpful digestive, umm, biotics. Yogurt replaces them. Keeps everything healthy and, er, normal down there.
Posted by: Jennifer at December 10, 2007 02:09 PM (1J5JC)
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December 02, 2007
Scars Are Sexy
Ladies, don't correct me if I'm wrong about that.
Yesterday I had a spot of skin cancer removed from my face, and now I have 5 stitches. All I need is a couple of bolts sticking out of my neck and I'll be set.
In the future, I'll refer to it as what happened when I got into that knife fight.
Posted by: Ted at
01:08 AM | category: Square Pegs
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Tell everyone it's a Heidleberg Scar ( http://media.www.mainecampus.com/media/storage/paper322/news/2006/02/13/Style/Facial.Scars.The.Original.Body.Mod-1610670.shtml ).
Posted by: Victor at December 03, 2007 09:28 AM (1oGDT)
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I used that joke all day today (looking for a Heidleberg University shirt), and had to explain it every time.
Thanks for being sharp there!
Posted by: Ted at December 03, 2007 03:36 PM (yRolC)
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damn right, every scar has to have a better story made up about it than is truly attached to it.
Posted by: Derek at December 04, 2007 12:40 AM (hIdE8)
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Whoa. Dang. I need a better story for the burn I got cooking turkey. Perhaps I'll tell them I had some cancer removed. Better than telling people the oven door slipped out of my hand while I was taking the turkey's temperature with my mother crowding me.
I hope you are doing better! (And have fun with the family over the holidays!)
Posted by: mapgirl at December 04, 2007 10:34 PM (3JAdr)
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