Much like you loyal Rocket Jones stalkers readers and commenters (not always the same to my chagrin), who return regularly to view my little corner of this grand trainwreck that Al Gore wrought.

Enjoy. I do believe that she will.

Oh yes, to a frightening degree, she will be enjoying it.

And tomorrow, a visual depiction on what to expect from the 2008 version of Rocket Jones!

Posted by: Ted at 11:00 AM | category: Square Pegs
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1 I feel the same way looking forward to the NEW Rocket Jones. I just don't know if that is scarier for you or for me!

Posted by: Stephen Macklin at December 31, 2007 11:29 AM (Z3kjO)

2 I have a pic of me somewhere with that same haircut. ¡Prospero Año Nuevo! to you and yours, Ted. Still waiting for in-flight photos... )

Posted by: Joan of Argghh! at December 31, 2007 09:04 PM (8F+iI)

3 LOL In-flight photos will be a long time a-coming. First, gotta build the rocket. Second, gotta wait for one of the monthly launches when conditions are favorable. Third, gotta get the film developed and see if anything actually is worth posting. When it works, it's spectacular, but this is strictly bottom-of-the-line equipment. I still love it though, and can't wait to try it!

Posted by: Ted at December 31, 2007 09:33 PM (yRolC)

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I'm talking loot from Santa, of course.

Made out like a bandit this year. Nothing unusual I guess, because we tend to go way overboard on gifts since we start Christmas shopping in the summer and would all rather get lots of little things rather than one giant gift-wrapped coolness.

Before I make you envy me though, I want to mention the hands down bestest gifts given this year. My wife, Liz, has worked since August on photo album/scrapbooks, customized for each of the kids and one for her parents. Well over 200 pages of memories each (I don't even want to think about what the ink cost!), plus a CD-Rom of all the photos from each book, plus more that weren't printed, and on top of all that Liz made embroidered covers for each book. Absolutely amazing.

So, here's some of what I got:

A new harmonica (key of A)
Electronic guitar tuner
A gadget to help build rockets
A rocket with a built in camera for taking in-flight photos
Book on writing horror
10th anniversary edition of Myst/Riven/Exile

And movies (surprise, surprise), filling some gaps in my collection:
The Living Coffin (mexican horror)
Zombie 2 (Fulci's Italian classic)
My Favorite Year (Peter O'Toole, one of my favorite actors)
Groundhog Day (Bill Murray)
Evil Dead (Bruce Campbell)
Groundhog Day (Bill Murray)
House/House II (underated)
Groundhog Day (Bill Murray)
Predator
Groundhog Day (Bill Murray)
plus a 50-movie pack called Night Screams, packed full of B-movie drive-in-ish goodness

Rachael also cracked me up with "The Disappearing Civil Liberties" Mug. It has the Bill of Rights written on the side, and when you pour hot coffee or tea into it, the writing disappears. Makes me laugh every time (with a hint of rueage to be sure).

So how was your Christmas?

Posted by: Ted at 09:54 PM | category: Square Pegs
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Rachael bought a dehydrator a while ago, but left it in our kitchen because she really shouldn't have it in her dorm room. Mostly, we use it to make apple, banana and papaya chips for the bunnies.

Yesterday we sliced up a fresh pineapple and started the machine. Last night Rachael described the results as "a bitch slap of flavor!"

Posted by: Ted at 04:39 PM | category: Square Pegs
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1 Ooo, that sounds good. Just how dry can they get?

Posted by: Tuning Spork at December 26, 2007 08:46 PM (XYHQL)

2 We cut the slices about 1/4" thick, so they're not leather dry, just chewy. We've dried apples to the point where they're brittle enough to snap.

Posted by: Ted at December 26, 2007 09:27 PM (yRolC)

3 Off topic: I could probably amuse myself for hours just constantly clicking on your banner and making it change from one banner to the next. Kinda like a box of chocolates...you never know WHAT you gonna get.

Posted by: ericasherman at December 27, 2007 09:34 PM (OQDyt)

4 I'm glad you enjoy the banners. I've been adding to them since this site started. Got a couple of ideas for new ones too, just gotta find time to create them.

Posted by: Ted at December 30, 2007 08:07 AM (yRolC)

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...so I'll just post it here.

Have a very Merry Christmas and a wonderful holiday season.

Posted by: Ted at 12:14 AM | category: Square Pegs
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As I mentioned, oldest daughter Robyn and son-in-law Henry are heading up to New Hampshire to surprise his mom for Christmas. They left Norfolk at o'dark thirty this morning and are now in Hartford, Connecticut, where they have a hotel for the night.

A half hour ago, the phone rings. It's the kids, needing a little help. They're staying in a Sheraton (great rate for the night, and it's right off the interstate), and when they asked for a local dining list, it's full of "fine" dining choices that they can't afford and have no interest in anyway.

Kids today solve problems in ways that us geezers would never think of. After explaining the situation, they ask if I'm near a computer, then if I could look up local restaurants for them. Soon, they've decided that they want to eat at Olive Garden, and within minutes I'm giving them directions to the nearest one, within 10 miles of their hotel.

Only one glitch, the directions take them on a toll road, and they'd rather not if they don't have to. Another few minutes, and I'm dictating directions that uses major side roads and alternate routes that's shorter (not necessarily faster) and avoids those pesky tolls that New Englanders are so fond of.

I better hear no crap from my daughter when I call late one night from the road, requesting directions to the nearest titty bar.

Posted by: Ted at 05:02 PM | category: Square Pegs
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Not that we were, but since when has that ever stopped me?

Dogette has been dealing with the tree-beasties.

Bitterman has in the past.

(no specific links, just go and scroll, consider it my present to all Rocket Jones readers)

As most of you know, my daughter Rachael goes to Mary Baldwin College, where the team name is the "Fighting Squirrels" (even more inexplicably, their mascot is named "Gladys").

We exchanged a few gifts last night over at my other daughter's house (they left today for a New Hampshire Christmas with son-in-law's family), and we gifted Rachael with a t-shirt showing a couple of squirrels and reads:

Sure, it's all fun and games until someone loses a nut.

Maybe not so inexplicable after all.

Posted by: Ted at 04:53 PM | category: Square Pegs
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I won't deny it, I was laughing at you.

I'm sure that you're glare is usually very intimidating, but I'd been watching you in the back seat of your homie's SUV, and I was greatly amused.

You see, when you ride along with your head hanging out the window, trying to peep the women in the traffic around you, you look like a damn dog.

Posted by: Ted at 04:09 PM | category: Square Pegs
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There has been a definite lack of Christmas spirit around the officeplace, which was fine with me. That all changed this morning when I walked in and found the place completely decorated by a couple of "anonymous" elves. Not only that, but there are goodies and little gifts left on everybody's desk. I'm wearing an elf hat, complete with pointy ears, and enjoying a sweet little nibble with my tea.

Thank you, little elves. I needed this.

Posted by: Ted at 05:52 AM | category: Square Pegs
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No, not Paris Hilton.

I'm tired of the phrase "You can't make this stuff up".

Yes, you can.

Posted by: Ted at 05:25 AM | category: Square Pegs
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All the hotel chains now offer a "continental breakfast". I've seen a few, very few, that are actually worth having. Most feature your choice of raisin bran or fruit loops, a basket of brown fruit, envelopes of oatmeal in the flavors that nobody likes, stacks of bread and thawed waffles next to a toaster, and a selection of stale mini-muffins and even more stale mini-danish. All washed down with coffee-colored hot water and watered-down orange or apple juice.

You know what I'd like to see? How about a pot of really good coffee? That's all.

And if people bitch because they want free bad food? Give 'em directions to the nearest 7-11 and tell 'em to buy their own freakin' frozen waffles.

Posted by: Ted at 05:06 AM | category: Square Pegs
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In a weekend full of zingers and one-liners fired by all and in every direction, one stands out.

The graduation ceremony for Old Dominion University was held in the arena where ODU basketball is played (called "the Ted"... no relation). Before the ceremony started the concession stands were open, because the U isn't going to miss a single opportunity to make a few bucks.

So the very first speaker says:

I would like to remind everyone that this graduation ceremony is an event that deserves the utmost dignity.

To which Jeff replied:

You blew that when you decided to sell nachos.

That exchange barely topped my wife Liz, who zinged Jason with this one:

Jason: I have a 60 inch television.

Liz: Sorry to hear you have a little penis.

Jason was speechless, although no one could tell because we were all howling and rolling on the floor.

A grand weekend.

Posted by: Ted at 10:11 PM | category: Square Pegs
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From the forum over at Wildside Cinema, posted by a rather disturbed individual named Dent.

Won't'cha be my neighbor... bitch!

Posted by: Ted at 08:24 PM | category: Square Pegs
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Tomorrow we're headed down to Norfolk for oldest daughter's graduation from Old Dominion University. Depending on traffic and the weather 'round these here parts, we'll be back some time Sunday.

Oh, on a random note... was treated to lunch today at the Fort Meyers Officers Club. On base we passed by General Petraeus' home.

Posted by: Ted at 08:15 PM | category: Square Pegs
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From Germany, that is.

I heard on the news this morning that some German minister threatened to boycott future US climate talks unless we agreed to follow their lead in Bali.

Let's see. Since adopting Kyoto, most of Europe - including Germany - have not only *not* met their reduction goals but have mostly ignored them because they've proved to be unreachable without major damage to their economy.

But that inconvenient truth doesn't stop them from lecturing the US. Who, by the way, is actually making progress towards reducing greenhouse gas emissions by using modern technology.

So I say lets reduce our carbon footprint in Germany by closing down every last damn military base and bringing the troops home. Some would probably be shifted to Poland or other eastern European countries, you know, the ones who actually want us there.

Less money for western Europe. We could spend some of the savings on health care for the kids who really need it here at home.

Posted by: Ted at 05:58 AM | category: Square Pegs
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The Hollywood writers are still on strike.

I hadn't even noticed.

Posted by: Ted at 06:10 AM | category: Square Pegs
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I get my stitches out tomorrow and the results of the tissue biopsy are due as well. All is expected to be normal, in which case I can officially stop obsessing over this freakin' skin cancer episode.

Last Monday I made a quickie doctor's appointment because it felt like I had an ear infection. I'm not a hypochondriac, but when I need to go see the doc, I do it. Over the last six months, I've seen the docs way too often. So yeah, I had an ear infection. Both ears, in fact, along with a sinus infection. After four days on antibiotics, not only were the ears not feeling better, they were hurting. Another call to the doctor's office resulted in a new prescription, the antibiotic equivalent of a surgical nuclear strike. I'm all for that. I started the new regime yesterday, but it'll take a day or two to really start kicking in, and in the meantime I've been popping tylenol like candy to keep myself from driving an icepick through my eardrum. And sleeping. I don't sleep much, I've never needed all that much. Yet I've probably slept 36 out of the last 48 hours, and been miserable every waking moment.

This has got to end. I've had one helluva string of minor medical mindfucks, and I'm ready to surrender. Hear that God? UNCLE already!!!!!

Posted by: Ted at 08:07 AM | category: Square Pegs
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Ladies, don't correct me if I'm wrong about that.

Yesterday I had a spot of skin cancer removed from my face, and now I have 5 stitches. All I need is a couple of bolts sticking out of my neck and I'll be set.

In the future, I'll refer to it as what happened when I got into that knife fight.

Posted by: Ted at 01:08 AM | category: Square Pegs
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