The cicada event is beginning to wind down, and the ground at work is littered with their little dead carcasses. As I was crunching my way towards my truck this afternoon, it occurred to me that since cicada life is geared entirely towards sex, then it follows that the ones who die first were probably the most successful in getting laid early in the cycle. So I was stomping on little cicada versions of those jerks in high school who never had a problem scoring with the ladies.

I hated those guys, and I really, really enjoyed that walk.

Posted by: Ted at 12:41 PM | category: Square Pegs
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I just finished two apricots, the first of the season. My favorite.

I have a bowl full of pears ripening at home too. My second favorite.

I'll be leaving work at lunchtime today, because I've taken a half day off before every 3-day weekend for the last 15 years.

It's a 3-day weekend.

Wife and Mookie have to work tomorrow, so I'll get the whole day to myself.

Life is good.

Posted by: Ted at 07:33 AM | category: Square Pegs
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I assume that's your nickname. See, your personalized license plate was a little hard to decipher. I bet a lot of "sweet pea's" want those words on the plates, so you wind up going through all kinds of gyrations to spell your name.

Here's a tip: SWET PT will be translated as "sweat pit" by others. You couldn't have meant that, could you?

Posted by: Ted at 05:15 AM | category: Square Pegs
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Driving home from work yesterday, I merged onto the interstate behind a station wagon with out-of-state plates. Inside were two adults and at least seven or eight kids.

On the back was a bumper sticker: "I [heart] the Old Latin Mass".

Posted by: Ted at 05:11 AM | category: Square Pegs
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That's what Mookie asked for over the weekend.

First I explained how life insurance worked, and that if I had a heart attack she wouldn't get a dime. She understood.

Then she explained what 'bondage pants' were. I understood.

Then I said "no".

She's annoyed with me, which is only fair since my chest still hurts from that thump-erk! she caused.

Posted by: Ted at 02:40 PM | category: Square Pegs
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1 So what ARE bondage pants?

Posted by: Susie at May 26, 2004 05:22 PM (Fs1Nj)

2 Yeah, some of us are too old to get it and don't have teenagers to translate!

Posted by: Nic at May 26, 2004 05:36 PM (16A49)

3 The description I got is that bondage pants have straps and buckles all over them. Then again, Mookie is a teenager, so it's a 50/50 chance she's lying to me.

Posted by: Ted at May 26, 2004 06:07 PM (ZjSa7)

4 What size does she w...I mean, shame, Mookie! SHAME!

Posted by: Victor at May 26, 2004 10:02 PM (bQa9J)

5 http://www.hottopic.com/store/product.asp?LS=0&ITEM=208886&RN=136

http://www.hottopic.com/store/product.asp?LS=0&ITEM=299501&RN=136

http://www.hottopic.com/store/product.asp?LS=0&ITEM=228589&RN=136

Those are what I want...

Posted by: Mookie at May 27, 2004 05:38 AM (ZjSa7)

6 I guess the words "bondage pants" are not what a father wants to hear from his daughter of any age.

They seem kind of, um, impractical and it would be hard to both wear and walk while wearing them. Is that the point?

(Of course, clothes were extremely sensible when we were teens. And the shoes also.)

Posted by: Debbye at May 27, 2004 07:35 AM (2NAsJ)

7 Those don't look so bad.

Posted by: Jennifer at May 27, 2004 10:49 AM (DdBLw)

8 They're not bad at all. But if you don't know what they are, it's a bit of a shocker to hear your daughter ask for them by name.

Posted by: Ted at May 27, 2004 11:04 AM (blNMI)

9 My pants have one strap and one buckle. The two objects together are called a belt.

I leave the significance of that reference to the reader. ;-)

Posted by: McGehee at May 27, 2004 01:31 PM (lGoQn)

10 She's just goading you into blurting out 'Bhurka!', in a sort of induced Tourets moment...

Posted by: Wind RIder at May 27, 2004 02:35 PM (8Pv/P)

11 LOL Wind Rider!!! Then again, I wonder if there'd be a market for tie-dyed Bhurka's. Marketing idea: "Rebel... Just A Little."

Posted by: Ted at May 27, 2004 02:45 PM (blNMI)

12 Isn't a burkha just a sheet used like a Charlie Brown ghost suit with one face hole, instead of two eye holes? Heck, I'll tie-dye a burkha for her!

Posted by: Victor at May 28, 2004 02:04 PM (L3qPK)

13 BONDAGE PANTS ARE GREAT BUT I UNDER STAND THE CONCERN WHEN A DOUGHTER ASK FOR THEM BUY THAT NAME

BUT WELL BONDAGE IS GREAT BUT TO MANY PEOPLE WHERE BONDAGE PANTS THAT WOULD NEVER LIKE TO BE TIED DOWN

Posted by: kiny wanker at June 11, 2004 03:16 PM (Tlo/S)

14 they are just pants. i like them. i like bondage skirts and bondage shirts too. who cares. when i have kids, im not going to like what they wear, so why should my parents like what i wear?

Posted by: whittney at June 14, 2004 12:32 PM (dxXr5)

15 So bondage paints are jeans only with extra ugly added on?

(Yeah, I'm real behind in my blogreading...)

Posted by: Pixy Misa at July 02, 2004 07:18 AM (+S1Ft)

16 Heh heh heh. Rock on Mookie, you picked out the exact pants that i'm currently wearing. I applaud your taste in clothes. Although, as far as father's go, always ask for socks. Then when you earn money, but yourself your own pair of bondage pants to show that they're not THAT bad.

Posted by: Kelly at December 26, 2004 02:25 PM (MI5KX)

17 pirates are awesome

Posted by: ally at March 30, 2005 12:53 PM (BtNfK)

18 nope nope nope, hot topic is another fucking poseur store, those are NOT bondage pants. There are very very interesting bondage pants out there. I have yet to get some leopard. To explain they are mainly plaid with straps connecting from one leg to the other (not strapping them together). Zippers are on them, but only poseurs get the pre-zippered, they can't do it themselves. You can sew them so they're skin-tight. but, usually fishing wire is used because its too fucking tight it might break a normal thread. Bondage pants are lovely, and usually not favored by parents. BUT if your kid is asking to get pants from Hot Topic, fuck. let them, there's nothing wrong with dressing like the village idiot (aka poseur). links to bondage: INSTRUCTIONS, click on CLOTHING, then on girls bondage pants or guys, whatever you want. http://aypcart.bizcom2.com/index.cgi

Posted by: skinheadChick at March 31, 2005 10:19 PM (dB0eZ)

19 bondage pants are fucking awesome!

Posted by: brandi at September 10, 2005 11:53 PM (2ypMb)

20 Those aren't exactly "Bondage Pants." Traditionally, bondage pants are tighter, usually with zippers, and have straps that go from one leg to the other. They often come in plaids and other unusual color combinations. I like them better in black. They look like this: http://www.angryyoungandpoor.com/store/pc/catalog/products/clothes/redpldogpbp.jpg http://www.angryyoungandpoor.com/store/pc/catalog/products/clothes/blkdogpbp.jpg Baggier versions of traditional bondage pants are usually not called bondage pants anymore. They're often sold in stores as "Strap Cargo Jeans" or things of that sort. Really, their heritage lies more with JNCO brand jeans than with the bondage pants that surfaced as a fasion trend in late 1970's punk rock.

Posted by: TheJay at November 01, 2005 01:43 PM (GaUNf)

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Busy busy busy catching up with things, but I do have a few things on the pad.

1. Team America Rocket Challenge. Was saturday, and was abso-freakin-lutely incredible!!! Tales to tell, but not today. In the meantime, the website has been updated with pictures and news (click past the sign in stuff - twice, you don't need it). More photos and stories will be posted in the near future.

2. Box Hockey. I talked about it once, then it was put on the back burner. Last week someone emailed me after googling "box hockey" and asked me to get going on it. So I will.

3. More interesting spacey kinda information. You know, the usual.

4. Even more weird and offbeat movie reviews. The movies are weird and offbeat, not the reviews. The reviews are colorful, insightful and informative. Trust me, I play a professional critic on the internet.

5. And enough miscellania to keep you shovelling away.

Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a dream.

Posted by: Ted at 01:47 PM | category: Square Pegs
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1 Ted,
Was at the TARC Saturday w/ my daughter. Most excellent/thoroughly enjoyed it. Looked for you but didn't see ya. Can't beat a pair of F-18s down low either.

Posted by: wayne at May 25, 2004 09:09 PM (fcn6F)

2 Hmmm. You sound...er... busy.
Can't wait for you to come stormin' back and making up for lost frickin' time!!!

Posted by: Tuning Spork at May 25, 2004 09:53 PM (Af9Gv)

3 Wayne, I'm sorry I missed you! Glad you had a great time, and you're invited to our next regular launch - same place, 9am-5pm on June 12th. Bring rockets!

Posted by: Ted at May 26, 2004 06:52 PM (ZjSa7)

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It's rained 19 out of 23 days this month in Ohio (make that 20 out of 24 now). We saw lots of farm fields half under water. According to one radio report, Lake Michigan's water level has risen 2" this month. That's a lot of water!!!

Posted by: Ted at 07:30 AM | category: Square Pegs
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Mookie and I hadn't had any luck getting her PC connected to the internet on the new cat-5 cable we ran. Yesterday I asked a friend in the PC shop at work if he could put new jacks on the ends and test it for me (yeah, I was going to un-install the cable - we were that frustrated).

Instead he lent me a line tester, and when I got home last night Mookie and I got things up and running in about an hour.

I'll tell him 'thank you' this morning, and even though he doesn't read Rocket Jones, I thought I'd tell him thanks here too.

Posted by: Ted at 05:20 AM | category: Square Pegs
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That's how I'd describe the San Jose Sharks play during the last two games of their season.

Congrats to the Calgary Flames, you deserved the win.

And big thanks to my beloved Sharks, it's been a helluva ride.

Posted by: Ted at 11:40 PM | category: Square Pegs
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Last week, we got a notice that they were going to be trimming trees around the building at work. When I came in monday morning, three huge trees in front of the building had been completely removed. It was amusing, because a lot of people knew something was different, but couldn't put their finger on exactly what it was.

These were mature trees, taller than our two-story warehouse, and they had been planted way too close to the building. Sidewalks were being lifted and the last major trimming they'd had done had lopped all the branches off of the building side to keep them from smashing windows in the wind. So they were badly placed and wildly off-balance. People here at work are throwing a hissy fit. I hate that they're gone, but I understand why. Now I hope someone is talking about planting new trees, about 15 feet farther out from the building would do nicely.

Posted by: Ted at 07:36 AM | category: Square Pegs
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After 17 years they suddenly become a huge nuisance. Experts tell us that they're special and we should be nice to them, although they serve no useful purpose. They're noisy as hell, individually screeching until collectively they become an unintelligable droning. The only thing on their mind is sex, after which they disappear again until the next generation comes along.

To sum up, they're teenagers.

Posted by: Ted at 06:44 AM | category: Square Pegs
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What the hell is wrong with people?!?!?!?

Cicada's are crawling out of the ground after 17 years and everywhere you look these nitwits are talking about eating them!

Recipes are printed in the newspaper, the newscasts are full of happy freaks chowing down on the insects, even the radio on the way home talked about chocolate chip cicada cookies. "First you pull off their heads and legs, then you dry roast them..." *gag*

Be honest now, March was National Colorectal Cancer Awareness Month, did y'all have a sudden hankerin' for chitlins?

Posted by: Ted at 04:17 PM | category: Square Pegs
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America learned once again, thanks to Abu Ghuraib, that our freedoms are a two-edged sword, especially when trying to instill our overreaching principles on another people.

For all the breast-beating and second-guessing that we're hearing, I'm still proud of the USA, precisely because of what happened at Abu Ghuraib.

The humiliations inflicted on the prisoners were wrong, but that is a small (albeit important) part of the story. A soldier knew that it was wrong, and reported it to his chain of command. The military immediately began an investigation. The people identified in the investigations are being brought up on charges. The media was informed of the investigation at the very beginning, by the military itself.

America proved to the world that not only do we talk the talk, but we walk the walk. We've given the whole world a lesson in American-style freedom, and it is being noticed and talked about.

From BlackFive:

Iraqi media, almost unbelievably, have in recent days begun to editorialized astonishment at how the United States has responded. No covers ups. No denials. The President of the United States, the world's most powerful man, formally apologized to the people of Iraq. The U.S. Congress grilled a senior member of the Administration and all the while the U.S. media was allowed to report on the unfolding story with full freedom and access. "Why does Arab media fail at self criticism and why can't Arab human rights NGOs pressure Arab governments the way their counterparts do in America?", asked the host of satellite news channel al-Arabiy's (one of the harshest critics of the United States) "Spotlight" news program. The follow up commentary was even more astounding, given the source. "The Americans exposed their own scandal, queried the officials and got the American Government to accept responsibility for the actions of its soldiers," stated the host before asking her guests why this sort of open and responsive action isn't taken in the Arab world.

Posted by: Ted at 11:48 AM | category: Square Pegs
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What's in it for me?

It's a crass way of defining the motivations of man. All mankind. Every last one. Even people like Mother Theresa operate from the same basic principles, although one might put it more delicately.

Helping someone 'from the goodness in your heart' means you do it because it makes you feel good inside, or it satisfies your code of ethics. Or maybe you do it because God tells you to, in which case your 'reward' is spiritual, but it is there. Even self-sacrifice boils down to the same base motivations.

Nobody does anything unless their self-interested needs are met somehow.

(this is what passes for rigorous thought in my fluffy little world, now where's my puppy...)

Posted by: Ted at 05:06 AM | category: Square Pegs
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I have one, and if you do I'd like to hear it. Leave it in the comments.

Pink or Avril Levigne?

Update: So far, the vote is Pink: 5 Avril: 1, although Norah Jones did get a write-in vote. We also got two "who?", including Lynn who points out that Avril sounds like the name of one of those new drugs on the market.

Posted by: Ted at 05:07 PM | category: Square Pegs
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For pete's sake people, if you're looking for partners to have cyber-sex on the internet, at least use some ordinary common sense and protect yourself.

(in the extended entry) more...

Posted by: Ted at 06:48 AM | category: Square Pegs
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I've been under the weather since wednesday, but today I'm headed out for a club rocket launch. The day is supposed to be beautiful, with possible thunderstorms rolling through tonight.

Enjoy your day, I'm going to enjoy mine.

Posted by: Ted at 07:17 AM | category: Square Pegs
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I got this comment to one of my space posts a while back, and had put it aside to respond to later. I forgot about it. Naturally, the return email was bogus, but the sentiments contained within are worth looking at again.

I believe that there should be one global space program (to help it move along quicker) However, it should be noted that if any country needs a space program, it's China.

When one and one half billion people live in an area the size of the US, and when they have to commit genocide against the Tibetans in order to resettle the Han population, I say it's about time to resettle the same Han Population onto the Moon.

Not only China, but also India, Bangladesh, Madagascar, the United States etc need to resettle their collective populaces outside the Earth for the sake of environmental recovery.

People need to settle on the Moon etc As Soon As is Possible. There are way too many people on the Earth and for each person born (especially to the wealthy) our resources are strained more and more and our environment is further decimated. It would be best if ALL the people on planet Earth left for space, save for a few indigenous peoples. That would give the Earth time to repair it's self.

Eventually all the cities towns and villages lying along the great coastal plains will have to build protective domes around them (as the ice caps melt and sea levels rise). The Space program may very well supply this technology.

The given link [here ya go - RJ] shows all the eco-regions and how, why, and to what extent they are being threatened.

Posted by: Ted at 06:14 AM | category: Square Pegs
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Time for some creative thinking!

Contact your local PTA's and volunteer to head up fundraising efforts for Uncle Sam. Picture the little patriots standing out in front of the local supermarket, holding a "Pennies for Cruise Missiles" drive.

Or for organizations, how about a "Sponsor A Bomb" program? For your donation, you get pictures showing your organization's name and logo on the bomb, along with the crew who're going to load it onto the aircraft and the pilot who drops it. You also get before and after photos of the target taken out by "your" bomb, and if it's a smart bomb you get a tape with the actual video feed as it reaches out and touches someone. Up close and personal, as they say.

I know, I can hear you saying that you already pay for all those things with your tax dollars, and you're absolutely correct. Think of this as a way to direct your bucks towards something specific. Ever hear someone complain that if they could, they'd make sure their money wasn't being used for [insert whatever here]? Same idea, turned 180 degrees.

Another thought. Why isn't PETA sending doggie-flak vests to our K-9 compadres? Here's an angle that may persuade them: for every military working dog that survives, the chances are that he'll point out more humans that will be killed! Safer dogs and less people! Win - win, eh?

Come to think of it, the tree-huggers outta be thrilled with that too.

There are untapped resources out there. We just need to give until it hurts them.

Posted by: Ted at 01:28 AM | category: Square Pegs
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I had to move a bookcase out of the way to get at the wall where our modem cable enters the house. Afterwards I was inspecting the new cat-5 cables, and noticed a little bit of nature happening right near my feet.

A yellow jacket was buzzing on the floor, caught up in a spider web. Also on the web was the owner, possibly a black widow, darting in and out, doing spider things to subdue the yellow jacket and make it more secure in the web. It was pretty fascinating to watch.

I finally got a spraycan of gloss clearcoat and hosed them both down until all movement stopped. Old joke, but true in this case: they died with a beautiful finish.

Posted by: Ted at 04:46 PM | category: Square Pegs
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