That one up there kinda sucks, don't it?

Update: Not that one. That one's cool. I'm talking about the ick one from before.

Posted by: Ted at 12:14 PM | category: Square Pegs
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DirecTV has this spot that's been on heavy rotation during football games that shows this cute 4 year old kid coming in to see his dad.

"Dad, can you read me a story?"

The kid notices the TV and looking crestfallen, says, "Oh, football."

And dad, playing the hero, tells his tot that "I can freeze time" with a snap of his finger and a clandestine touch of the remote.

Oh puh-leeze.

Today's four year olds know what the freakin' freeze control is. Hell, by that age they've already hacked the passworded parental control block.

Better check up on older sister, dad. The kid is distracting you for a reason. "Read me a story?" Ground the little scamster and go find the mastermind. Catch 'em red handed, administer punishments.

Then watch your football game uninterupted. As it should be.

Posted by: Ted at 07:33 PM | category: Square Pegs
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A friend is looking for a "Thomas Jefferson" style font, where the "s" is written almost like an uncrossed small letter "f" (sample here). This style was used for early printed versions of the Declaration of Independence.

I've found a font designed based on Jefferson's handwriting, but it has the normal "s" and it's not what he wants.

If you can point me to the right place, font fanatics, I'd be most obliged.

Posted by: Ted at 03:40 AM | category: Square Pegs
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Kids, if you see one of these on the front porch:

Just head right on by to the next house, because you can pretty much count on their candy already being gone.

I'd pass on the brownies too, if they offer.

Posted by: Ted at 08:02 AM | category: Square Pegs
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Somehow, Rocket Jones is number 1 on Google for "how to dress up as buckethead".

I know this because someone got here by doing just that search. Either a lost lamb or a really, really stupid bot.

Posted by: Ted at 07:29 AM | category: Square Pegs
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Do you think Captain Kirk was overcompensating all that time?

My last comment on the subject, I promise.

Posted by: Ted at 12:11 PM | category: Square Pegs
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1 (I'm choosing to ignore your obsession here.)

Nice logo!!!!! Me like a lot.

Posted by: Blogeline at October 28, 2005 11:41 AM (YMz4J)

2 Thanks! She's my Halloween banner, although I don't remember why I had it listed that way. Maybe I put "Rocket Jones" up in orange or something. I'll have to pretty it all up together, quote and all, and add her to the regular rotation.

Posted by: Ted at October 28, 2005 12:21 PM (blNMI)

3 Why on earth would you stop?

Posted by: buckethead at October 28, 2005 12:25 PM (ztNrs)

4 uh, getting back to kirk... if we take a look at his crew we see:
- spock was smarter & more logical
- scotty was more passionate
- dr. mccoy was simultaneously more humane towards the crew & cynical towards other races
- lt. uhura... well she was just too darn sexy for the lot of them.

so darn right he was always overcompensating in order to exert his supremacy over all.

Posted by: michele at October 28, 2005 01:45 PM (snduz)

5 I think Shatner had short man syndrome, he figured he had to overact to make sure everyone noticed him. Either that or to distract people from staring at Uhura's chest all episode.

Posted by: Oorgo at October 28, 2005 06:57 PM (lM0qs)

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George Takei, best known as Mr. Sulu of the original Star Trek, has transported out of the closet.

It's kind of a shame that this is still considered news.

Posted by: Ted at 05:04 AM | category: Square Pegs
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This line, from a story about Israeli troops arresting a senior leader of Islamic Jihad:

[Hamas] has largely scaled back its attacks since the truce declaration.

So I guess the word truce now means "we won't murder as many of you as before."

Posted by: Ted at 02:20 PM | category: Square Pegs
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My drop light died last night. I've had that thing for somewhere around 30 years, it was one of the old fashioned light bulb types. I've got the portable halogen setups as well, but sometimes the old drop light was exactly what was needed. Now I've got to replace it, which means a trip to the hardware store. Yay!

Posted by: Ted at 06:12 AM | category: Square Pegs
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Congrats on winning the World Series. I didn't have a dog in this hunt, because I don't particularly follow either Chicago or Houston. If the Astros would've won, I'd have been happy for them as well.

But the good Chicago team won. You know, the non-loser ones.

Posted by: Ted at 06:10 AM | category: Square Pegs
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WWII, as an online interactive game:

deGaulle: eisenhower ur worthless come help me quick

Eisenhower: i cant do **** til rosevelt gives me an army

paTTon: yah hurry the fock up

Churchill: d00d im gettin pounded

deGaulle: this is fockin weak u guys suck

*deGaulle has left the game.*

And it just gets better from there.

Follow the links over at The Ministry of Minor Perfidy and read the whole thing. Warning though, your co-workers will be looking in to see why you're making those strangled choking noises at your desk.

Posted by: Ted at 10:54 AM | category: Square Pegs
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My wife and I, discussing an idiot she had to deal with at her workplace:

Me: Welcome to Stupidit-- Welcome to Stupidititt-- Welcome to Stupidville.

Wife: And you're their spokesman.

Sometimes, I'm their king.

Posted by: Ted at 08:24 AM | category: Square Pegs
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Posted by: Ted at 08:02 PM | category: Square Pegs
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I stayed up until midnight last night, happily hacking away at this strange new universe called PHP. This morning, my body followed it's normal weekday routine and woke me up at 4am. Knowing I had more homework to catch up with, I jumped right into functions, arrays, objects, string manipulation and all that other geeky wonderfulness. It's big fun, peoples, and if you don't think so, then odds are good that your job will never be outsourced to India.

Posted by: Ted at 08:33 AM | category: Square Pegs
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I've almost completely switched over to the new PC and no longer have Yahoo Messenger. Now I'm using something called GAIM that the kids installed for me (I needed it for an online job interview). If you have a compatible IM service, give me a holler at "RocketTed".

Update: Ok, thanks to my daughter for clearing a few things up in the comments. GAIM is a free "universal" IM utility that is AOL messenger and Yahoo compatible, as well as a few others. I've got a Yahoo account, but for some reason the new PC will not let me open it. I'll work on that as I get the chance.

Posted by: Ted at 08:25 AM | category: Square Pegs
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This evening, after countless hours of work, I have managed to install Apache, PHP and MySQL onto my PC. More importantly, I've convinced them to get along (Apache had decided to roll over and play dead for a while), so that I can now do my homework (PHP class) at home. There's a reason we mainframe programmers have a systems shop to handle crap like this.

I'm having a magical weekend.

Posted by: Ted at 08:47 PM | category: Square Pegs
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There's always been a degree of "if it bleeds it leads" thinking in the media, and the local versions are no exception. Mostly though, I tended towards thinking that the more outrageous stupidity was due to lesser talents being at the local level. After seeing a piece on last night's broadcast, I'm no longer sure.

A wanted member of the gang MS13 was apprehended in the area, apparently a very bad hombre. It was a peaceful arrest, probably due to the extreme amount of firepower the police deployed to get this guy.

Afterwards, the breathless reporter interviewed other residents of the apartment complex where the guy was arrested. Most notable was the sloppy and amatuerish editing, all designed to make it sound like Jack the Ripper himself had been lurking in their midst. But if you listened to what people were actually saying, you noticed that the guy was quiet, kept to himself, wasn't bothering anyone. In short, he was laying low. The reporter was falling all over herself to find someone, anyone, who would claim that he was terrorizing the neighborhood.

The capper was when they showed the door of the apartment where the guy was apprehended.

Reporter's voice-over: This is the apartment where the arrest was made, number 76. Note that 7+6=13, and he belonged to the gang MS13!

No word on whether the residents of apartments 13, 49, 58, 67, 85, or 94 were taken into custody as well

Posted by: Ted at 05:27 AM | category: Square Pegs
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So the NBA implements a dress code in an effort to cut down on the hiphop gangbanger look. Whatever. I'm sorry, you pay these guys millions a year to play a game, and then expect them to not be flamboyant? Your entire marketing strategy is based on individual stars.

And then Marcus Camby (who, incidentally, has a guaranteed multi-year contract paying him around $10 million per), claims that players should receive a clothing stipend to be able to afford the new clothes.

Proof positive that you don't have to be smart to play in the NBA, just tall.

Posted by: Ted at 06:04 AM | category: Square Pegs
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According to Pixy, MuNu is now considerably larger en toto than Instapundit.

If I were a woman, I would now ask if this blog made me look fat.

Posted by: Ted at 05:42 AM | category: Square Pegs
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Just a few random thoughts...

Yesterday at work I got a new 17" flatscreen LCD monitor, just because I asked for one. I wish it worked that way at home, but then I suppose y'all wouldn't be helping to pay for it.

Canadian visitors can stop snickering now. I figure the Aussies are still mad at me because of yesterday's eHarmony joke.

When making a meat sandwich, try a crank or two of fresh cracked pepper on it. It makes a world of difference.

I'm having a hard time being concerned about bird flu. If it does avalanche into an epidemic, well, that's also called "thinning the herd". And for those who're worried that one group will be more affected than another, well (again), that's the way Mother Nature works.

It's easy to type the above because I'm in a low-risk group.

I'm less than impressed with hockey coverage on the Outdoor Life Network. The other night the New York Rangers played the Montreal Canadiens, a classic matchup. Instead, we got reruns of the 2004 BBQ Championship Tour or some such nonsense.

Congratulations, by the way, to the ladies of Squeal of Approval for their win in the finals. Those ribs looked gooooooood.

Now I want a banana.

Posted by: Ted at 05:05 AM | category: Square Pegs
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