September 26, 2005

Prom or Halloween, the versatility is breathtaking

In the extended entry (warning - indelicate language) more...

Posted by: Ted at 06:42 PM | category: Square Pegs
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Does this make me a bad Republican?

I only eat ketchup on two things: tater tots and grilled cheese sandwiches.

Posted by: Ted at 05:30 PM | category: Square Pegs
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September 24, 2005

Why cable was invented

Now where did I leave the remote?

Posted by: Ted at 10:23 AM | category: Square Pegs
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September 23, 2005

Hey, look who's in town! KILL HIM!!!!

I was watching the Weather Channel coverage of Hurricane Rita, and they've got a reporter located in Sulphur, Louisiana. He was saying that the eye would pass right over or just to the west of them, and another reporter mentioned that the guy was "four for four" this season.

Four hurricanes, four assignments, four times he's been right near where the eye comes ashore.

If Jeff Morrow ever visits your town, get the hell out.

Posted by: Ted at 10:02 PM | category: Square Pegs
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I'm not an economist

And thank goodness I'm not! Otherwise, folks would be bugging me to explain the goofy gas prices around here.

This morning, my wife called me on her way to work to let me know that a certain gas station in our area was priced at $2.54 a gallon. Across the street is another station that we occasionally use, priced at $2.59. Anticipating a rise in prices, I gassed up the truck at the cheaper place.

This afternoon my wife noticed that the first place had raised prices by a penny, to $2.55 a gallon. Meanwhile, all the way across the street, the other place jumped prices by twenty cents.

I haven't a clue. Maybe their distributor is sticking it to them and they're just passing along the price increase. I can believe that because their prices are insanely volatile compared to most brands in the area, and they're not always more expensive than everywhere else. But if they're trying to take advantage, they're the dumbest businessmen on the planet, because people remember stuff like that, and I'll bet that even when prices stabilize again their business will be down.

We tend to have cheap gas in this area compared to most. What's a gallon going for in your burg?

Posted by: Ted at 08:03 PM | category: Square Pegs
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Teefs

Had a minor dental emergency a couple of days ago that required a trip to see the dentist. I'm pleased to announce (as if anyone cares) that *my* dentist is back from maternity leave and I'm very very happy about that.

So anyways, things went good yesterday and I have a quick followup scheduled for this morning, after which I'll go in to work late and probably stay busy there until this evening (end of the fiscal year coming up fast, don't'cha know). I'll see y'all tomorrow, most likely.

If you see a guy with only half his face working, and a big string of bloody drool hanging off his chin, say hi. It ain't me, but he's probably having a bad day and could use a kind word.

Posted by: Ted at 07:47 AM | category: Square Pegs
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September 20, 2005

New Banner

What'cha think?

Posted by: Ted at 06:37 PM | category: Square Pegs
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Work Conversation*

Supervisor: What happened at the meeting?

Me: Bullshit.

Supervisor: No, really, I need more than that. Didn't you take notes?

Me (handing over a page and a half of meeting notes): Read for yourself.

Supervisor (reading carefully): What bullshit.

Me: Echo Echo.

*I made this up. Think of it as a composite of the last 100 meetings I've been to.

Posted by: Ted at 06:18 PM | category: Square Pegs
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September 19, 2005

Happy Talk Like A Pirate Day!

In today's society we hear often about inclusion, so with that in mind, I'd like everyone to join me in song:

Kum-bah-yArrrr, me mateys! Kum-bah-yArrrrr!

Kum-bah-yArrrr, me mateys! Kum-bah-yArrrrr!

Kum-bah-yArrrr, me mateys! Kum-bah-yArrrrr!

Shiver me timbers, Kum-bah-yArrrrr!

Keel-haul the sinners, mates! Kum-bah-yArrrr!
Keel-haul the sinners, mates! Kum-bah-yArrrr!
Keel-haul the sinners, mates! Kum-bah-yArrrr!
Shiver me timbers, Kum-bah-yArrrrr!

There the beastie be! Kum-bah-yArrrr!
There the beastie be! Kum-bah-yArrrr!
There the beastie be! Kum-bah-yArrrr!
Shiver me timbers, Kum-bah-yArrrrr!

I'm sure a fine crew such as yourselves can add a verse to the tune, no?

Posted by: Ted at 04:23 AM | category: Square Pegs
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September 17, 2005

Fractions of a million served!

Hey, sometime last night Rocket Jones got its 250,000th visitor!!!

Kind of amazing, considering posts like the one above, eh?

Posted by: Ted at 10:03 AM | category: Square Pegs
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September 16, 2005

Don't even bother denying it

Ignore the brilliant comedy for the moment and admit it, this brash and brassy redhead had some genuinely fine gams.

lballgrapes14r.jpg
(click for super vitameatavegemin size)

Posted by: Ted at 06:08 AM | category: Square Pegs
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September 15, 2005

Reminder

September 19th is Talk Like A Pirate Day! Arrrr, ye scurvy dogs.

I be thinking of ordering one of these for meself.
It's unfortunate that rum makes me itch
Yo ho! Yo ho! A pirates life for me...

Posted by: Ted at 07:15 AM | category: Square Pegs
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September 14, 2005

Dear Mr. SUV,

I'm sorry that it now costs you $180.00 every time you need to fill your gas tank, but that's the consequence of your decision to buy that oversized off-road vehicle for your daily commute on the interstate.

Just like your attempt to improve your gas milage by accellerating from zero to sixty in 6.3 weeks has a consequence - the rest of us think you're an asshole.

And get the hell out of the fast lane if you won't do at least the speed limit. Owning that monster makes you special all right, but 'special' has taken on a whole new meaning.

Posted by: Ted at 06:06 AM | category: Square Pegs
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Quotable

From the Ottawa Citizen (via Cream of the Crock):

That is not to say government has not failed. (Celebrities also underperformed, and Sean Penn should probably resign.)

Lots of good stuff to read at the Crock.

Posted by: Ted at 05:20 AM | category: Square Pegs
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September 12, 2005

They should probably move on to "Plan B"

According to Vincent Creel, spokesman for Biloxi, Mississippi Mayor A.J. Holloway:

"A whole new market, people who had been looking at Florida to retire, were going to come here to escape the hurricanes."

Katrina is a short-term setback. They'll be fine in the long run.

Posted by: Ted at 11:31 AM | category: Square Pegs
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So I see this guy...

...and he's tall and skinny as a rail, and he has this enormous Yosemite Sam moustache. It looked like someone had duct taped a pekinese to one end of a popsicle stick.

Posted by: Ted at 05:45 AM | category: Square Pegs
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Quotable

TV analyst Randy Cross said this about Denver quarterback Jake Plummer:

"Plummer is the Billy Graham of the NFL. He can make 70,000 people say 'Jesus' in unison."

LMAO

Posted by: Ted at 04:20 AM | category: Square Pegs
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September 11, 2005

Timing is everything when it comes to gas prices

I filled up yesterday after work and paid $2.99 a gallon.

This morning as I passed the gas stations on the way to the rocket launch, the prices were all $2.89 a gallon. Dang.

Posted by: Ted at 06:52 PM | category: Square Pegs
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September 10, 2005

I don't normally hold a grudge, but...

I just thought of the perfect line to use next time Sears calls me:

The only reason I'd ever set foot in a Sears again is if my house is underwater and I need someplace to loot.

I'd probably preface that with a "Ma'am", 'cause I'm a gentleman like that.

Posted by: Ted at 05:14 PM | category: Square Pegs
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Mookie News

Rachael got her work/study assignment. She's working for the Drama Department, mostly at the campus theater.

That's like asking a mermaid to be a lifeguard.

Posted by: Ted at 08:31 AM | category: Square Pegs
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