September 30, 2004
Posted by: Ted at
02:14 PM | category: Square Pegs
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Of course, that still leaves me with the boy (who's working now, but still job-hunting for a 'real' job) and Mookie. So no dancing around in my underwear for the forseeable future.
Posted by: Ted at
05:20 AM | category: Square Pegs
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September 29, 2004
See you this evening after all the fun and excitement is over. Or maybe tomorrow.
Posted by: Ted at
07:55 AM | category: Square Pegs
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September 27, 2004
Posted by: Ted at
04:41 PM | category: Square Pegs
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September 24, 2004
We should invade and conquer France.
France has been self-described as "possibly the world's first Islamic nuclear power." Sounds pretty ominous to me. Their military is better than Iraq's was (barely) although stretched woefully thin around the world. Not to mention badly underequipped. Aircraft carriers don't actually need aircraft you know, because that costs money that could be better spent paying farmers their bribes to stay home and not make trouble subsidies.
Eastern Europe (you know, the 'new' one) would be loudly cheering us on. If Spain fusses, we send three cranky WWII vets with hand grenades into their subway system and change their government. And we keep doing it until they elect one we like.
Belgium would tie itself in knots in EU red tape while it tried to figure out what to do. Face it, nobody does indignation like the French, and no matter how hard they try, the Flems and Walloons place a distant second. We can ignore them.
Britain would stay quietly neutral, but I'll betcha that Maggie Thatcher's smiling face will miraculously appear somewhere as reported in the Weekly World News.
Russia would get the message too. Maybe we could soften the reality of the situation by sending Jimmy Carter over for "discussions and consultations", with tacit approval to jail his cardiganned ass when he becomes too annoying to stand. Hell, I'd nominate Putin for the Nobel Peace Prize for that one.
Now some would argue that NATO wouldn't allow it. My response is: "what are they going to do about it?" If they actually wanted to do anything, like say, fight, they'd have to walk to get to the battle, because Europe's armies depend on US Military airlift capabilities. Commercial airliners? Threaten to drop a few Lufthansa Airbusses into the dirt and watch how quickly their fleets would be grounded for maintenance problems. That's assuming, of course, that they can get union approval for war.
Now, once that's all done and over with, we need to do something in order to show old Europe that we're not all stick and no carrot. Like moving the UN to Paris. And making Kerry our ambassador to the UN.
Posted by: Ted at
04:23 PM | category: Square Pegs
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How freaking stupid does the NHL players union have to be to not understand that there's a serious problem if the owners are better off financially with a lockout? Oh, they'll lose money all right, but they'll lose less money.
Vultures fighting over a corpse.
Posted by: Ted at
05:39 AM | category: Square Pegs
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September 23, 2004
(in the extended entry)
more...
Posted by: Ted at
04:53 AM | category: Square Pegs
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September 22, 2004
Elderly men who are sedentary or walk less than a quarter of a mile per day are nearly twice as likely to develop dementia and Alzheimer's disease compared to men who walk more than two miles per day.
While this is good news and most of us would benefit by getting more exercise, the results are from a study that was conducted only on elderly Japanese men living in Hawaii. Seriously.
Anyway, the headline made me think of this joke (in the extended entry because of indelicate language): more...
Posted by: Ted at
06:07 AM | category: Square Pegs
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September 20, 2004
If someone in the metro DC area wants this rose, I'd be happy to give her to you. I'll prune her back and deliver bare root sometime before November so you can get her settled in before frost. The sooner the better.
One way or another, she's outta here because I need to clear the spot she's in, and I don't have a good place to transplant her to. Here's your chance to pick up a showstopper of a climber. Let me know in the comments or email me, either way, because I'd really like to find her a good home.
Posted by: Ted at
07:27 AM | category: Square Pegs
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(in the extended entry) more...
Posted by: Ted at
05:25 AM | category: Square Pegs
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September 19, 2004
Peanut Butter and jelly.
Ham and eggs.
Pirate and rocket launcher, natch.
Posted by: Ted at
09:12 AM | category: Square Pegs
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(in the extended entry) more...
Posted by: Ted at
09:02 AM | category: Square Pegs
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September 18, 2004
PUPPET MAN
Fifth DimensionBaby, baby you know it's true
I'm a puppet just for you
I'll do anything you say
I won't have it any other way
Take my heart and take my soul
Giving you complete control
If you wanna see me do my thing
Pull my string, pull my string
Puppet man, puppet manBaby, baby I'm your sweet pet
Just your personal marionette
Wind me up and let me go
don't you know I'm a one-man show
Raise your finger and I'll perform
I'll cracker Jack till the crack of dawn
If you wanna see me do my thing
Pull my string
Puppet man, puppet manBaby, baby I'm more than you need
Satisfaction guaranteed
Any time you feel uptight
I'm at your service
Morning, noon and night
Do what you want me to
I'm a puppet just for you
If you wanna see me do my thing
Pull my string
Puppet man, puppet man
Posted by: Ted at
08:27 AM | category: Square Pegs
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September 17, 2004
At least one was referred to as the "Dale City" tornado, which is where we live. It passed within a mile of us, to the east. Liz had the kids ready to go to the basement on her say-so. Me? I was napping on the couch, I assume she would've woke me up too. Then again, maybe she upped my insurance recently without telling me...
Round two of Ivan is almost upon us. Happy happy, joy joy.
Posted by: Ted at
08:08 PM | category: Square Pegs
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This is probably the most polite strike I've ever heard of. Both the player union rep and the owners have come out and apologized to the fans, and the league commisioner has stepped down for not being able to avert the strike.
Oh yeah, the strike only affects weekend games. All baseball during the week will continue on schedule.
Posted by: Ted at
02:06 PM | category: Square Pegs
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September 15, 2004
Taking a step into policy-land (since I'm fantasizing here), if you do get injured while being "displaced" by an emergency vehicle, then emergency help would be sent - AFTER - the original call is handled. If you're too stupid to get out of the way of a hootin' and screamin' behemoth bearing down on you, then it shouldn't be a priority to save your miserable contribution to the gene pool.
No, I'm not in a bad mood. Why do you ask?
Posted by: Ted at
06:05 AM | category: Square Pegs
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Millionaires arguing with millionaires over who gets a nickel extra before they collectively destroy the league. At least the owner's guy had the decency to acknowlege that this was going to hurt people like concessionaires and ushers, rink workers and back office personnel (the scalpers! who's thinking about the poor scalpers?!?!? ... sorry). When that was mentioned to the player's rep his response was basically "the owners are trying to screw the players". Self-centered bastards. Not that I'm sympathetic to the owners either. Both sides refuse to budge, and I'm so frustrated that I just want to knock heads and pound some perspective into their thick skulls.
Here's an idea: top salary = $4M a year, minimum salary = $1M a year. Teams have salary cap and salary floor (minimum required). Owners guaranteed a profit. Ticket prices are reduced and capped. Extra money; $1M a year to player pension fund (increase if it's already more), and increase advertising and youth hockey outreach programs. Hey, get the NASCAR people in there to pump some life back into hockey.
Silly? You bet. I'm no expert, I don't even play one on the internet. I'm just a pissed off fan.
Posted by: Ted at
05:05 AM | category: Square Pegs
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September 14, 2004
Posted by: Ted at
09:37 PM | category: Square Pegs
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Ritz cracker blogging, how low can you go?
Posted by: Ted at
08:55 PM | category: Square Pegs
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Posted by: Ted at
08:07 PM | category: Square Pegs
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