WalMart is now selling the canned squirt-cheese in PepperJack flavor under its own brand name.

Surprisingly good.

Posted by: Ted at 05:27 AM | category: Square Pegs
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America really believes in education. The average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole game.

Posted by: Ted at 04:54 AM | category: Square Pegs
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We passed a "Day Spa for Pets" yesterday. It's enormous, and the smallest part are the outdoor runs, because everything your widdle wuvvie-duvvie needs is inside, where it's climate controlled, 'natch.

I mused about how you could set up elite service, when every animal in there is already pampered to an insane degree. After a while, it hit me.

Charge a premium (say fifty bucks a day) and your beloved pet will be fed the meat from an endangered species! You know damn well these snooty twits will spring for it.

"Our Fifi positively *thrives* on spotted owl."

Posted by: Ted at 04:35 PM | category: Square Pegs
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Back in the day of real record albums, there was enough room on the jackets to really have fun *and* fit some real information on there. With the miniaturization of the media it's become a real challenge to create release artwork that is both catchy and detailed. Of course, not everyone used all that album jacket real estate to best advantage.

Uh, guys? How are you going to drink those with your helmet's on? I do like the bright pink brunette on the far left though. Rowwwr.

Subtle humor. I likee.

Not much subtlety here, although the thought of all that mist makes my bones ache. Cold and damp, oh yeah, that's romance!

But you know, if there's music for that, then why not music for other things?

I like this one, it's cute.

That girl certainly gets around though, doesn't she? Ah, the good ol' days, when it took a professional to photoshop something.

There's probably a reason.

Some things just naturally go together. Some things don't.

And of course, we can always just dance, dance, dance, because it's more fun if you say it three times.

No, really!

Sorta.

And if all that was too modern, modern, modern for you, there were always the classics:

Full disclosure, I had a cassette of old roaring 20's honky-tonk that I played until it just flat wore out.

Now, *here's* a strategy to sell records! Put bored looking people on the cover! Woo hoo! It's not a good strategy, but it is a strategy.

Ragtime and Dixieland. Oh yeah.

Although soft, romantic interludes aren't what come to mind when I think dixieland. Or a parade... what the hell?

An interesting take on bondage. Immobilize her with a fishing net and then bring on the dixieland. The jackets add a visual aspect to the torture, which is why she's not blindfolded. Notice her smile? Kinky bitch.

Alternate caption for the above: One time, in band camp...

Hint: Wrong one.

Hope you enjoyed.

Posted by: Ted at 07:47 AM | category: Square Pegs
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1 Pretty funny stuff! I actually just a couple days ago posted a link to awful album covers.

Ian

Posted by: Ian at August 26, 2007 09:37 AM (X27CB)

2 delightful!

Posted by: Mad William Flint at August 26, 2007 09:40 AM (Ew03t)

3 Ian, that lonely link near the top points at your post.

Posted by: Ted at August 26, 2007 10:30 AM (yRolC)

4 Why, so it does! See, sometimes I'm bad about clicking through, especially when the post I'm reading is entertaining enough that I tell myself I'll come back to the link and then forget it was there. No, really.

Ian

Posted by: Ian at August 29, 2007 12:27 AM (X27CB)

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You know that saying "Don't shoot the messenger"?

Today I was that messenger.

Shooting would've been a mercy.

Posted by: Ted at 04:10 PM | category: Square Pegs
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The quiz is here.

Answers in the extended entry. more...

Posted by: Ted at 04:55 AM | category: Square Pegs
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One of these is made up:

1. Combination tanning parlor and video store.

2. Combination interior design and casket/urn sales.

3. Combination daycare and martial arts academy.

Leave your guess in the comments.

Update: Answer can be found here.

Posted by: Ted at 05:05 AM | category: Square Pegs
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If Dr. Hook were singing this alone, it'd be one thing:

We could bring in the morning girl
If you want to go that far
And if tomorrow find us together
Right here the way we are would you mind
Sharing the night together
Oh-yeah, sharing the night together
Oh-yeah, sharing the night

Sharing the Night Together

Every time I hear this, it sounds like an invitation to a gangbang.

Posted by: Ted at 05:17 AM | category: Square Pegs
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Lazy Sunday morning, not even properly awake yet.

"Lets play Pearl Harbor," I said to Liz.

"What's that?"

"While I lay here, you blow the hell out of me."

Posted by: Ted at 05:11 AM | category: Square Pegs
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I heard an AllState Insurance radio spot this morning where they're offering "accident forgiveness" coverage. Pay a little more each month now, and they won't raise rates when you have an accident.

Smart move. Them, not the suckers who voluntarily raise their own insurance rates for the exact same coverage.

Posted by: Ted at 04:51 AM | category: Square Pegs
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A WWII sub docked at the Baltimore Maritime Museum.

Photo courtesy of Inside Charm City.

Posted by: Ted at 08:52 AM | category: Square Pegs
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Last night I met a former co-worker for a minor league baseball game. His son is about to enter college, and they're doing a tour of the "local" ballparks. By local I mean northern Virginia, Maryland, southern Pennsylvania and Delaware.

The weather really cooperated. After a couple of scorching, humid weeks yesterday was dry and a relatively comfortable upper-80's.

The game was exciting, with our Potomac Nationals pitcher, Justin Jones, taking a no hitter into the 9th inning. The first out in the 9th was easy, and then the next batter lined a clean single into center. Oh well. Big standing ovation for Jones. He struck out the next batter, then allowed another single to right. The PNats brought in a closer (another long standing ovation for Jones) and the final batter bounced it back to the mound for the game. PNats: 2-zip. They scored both runs in the first.

Excellent. As were the fireworks afterwards, as usual. The game time was less than two hours too.

Posted by: Ted at 06:55 AM | category: Square Pegs
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Peanut Butter flavored Jell-O.

Posted by: Ted at 10:50 PM | category: Square Pegs
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The dogs have been needing a haircut. Of course, they don't like haircuts, so we put it off far longer than we should have. With the onset of hell-on-earth month, we went ahead and got it done because they're much more comfortable without all that hair, plus they dry off faster when I hose 'em down while we're out watering the garden (they act like they don't like that either, but they don't move out of the way).

Because they fight the scissors and clippers, they look kinda scraggly for a while. Liz is a perfectionist, whereas I'm like, "who cares, they're dogs". Today, I won that debate because it was just too hot to fight very hard when the dogs resisted. They mostly got shaved, more or less evenly.

Now comes the three day hump-fest as they get over the trauma of a haircut *and* a bath, all in the same day.

Posted by: Ted at 07:45 PM | category: Square Pegs
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Last night was our annual trip to Ash Lawn, home of President Monroe and current venue of the Ash Lawn Opera Company. Once again, daughter Rachael is working there for the summer as assistant costumer.

The performance that we chose to see this year was Puccini's La Boheme, possibly the most famous opera of them all. Unfortunately, with the extreme heat and humidity, Liz decided she'd better not go, so I went with Rachael and the other assistant Brittney. Once there, I met several of the technical crew and walked around the grounds for a bit.

There was much concern about the weather because some rather ominous looking clouds were headed our way, and the rumble of thunder was getting louder and more frequent. Most of the audience headed for the indoor pavilion, assuming that the performance would be moved under cover, but many of us stayed put and waited for Mother Nature to make up her mind. The breeze picked up and cooled things off nicely, the humidity dropped noticeably, a few small drops sprinkled on us, and after a 40 minute delay the show started in the outdoor amphitheater. We were treated to a nice little lightning show going on in the background during the first act as the storm that just missed us receeded into the distance.

I spent that delay time having a nice conversation with the people around me. A lady had flown in from Austin, Texas to see the shows (The Sound of Music is the other performance that the company is doing this year). Her daughter was part of the chorus in La Boheme and played Lisle in The Sound of Music (...I am 16, going on 17...). Another nice couple were the Dean of Libraries at William and Mary college and her husband. For a Friday night, the crowd was very much on the older side, there weren't many there that were younger than I. I didn't relate the tale of how a few years ago, a snake fell out of one of the trees overhanging the stage and audience, although I was sorely tempted.

Among the "regulars" at Ash Lawn are three skunks, one of which is an albino, and a peacock with the most horrible ear-splitting screech. At random times during the performances, the peacock will let loose. You can always tell first-time guests because they jump when the feathered beastie screams. If you're not used to it or don't know what it is, it's positively blood-curdling.

So, I haven't much said anything about La Boheme, have I? I really enjoyed it. I did not cry at the end, but there were a couple of moments where the music really did move me, and I think I'll be searching out more opportunities to attend the opera.

Posted by: Ted at 08:54 PM | category: Square Pegs
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When weeding in your garden, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.

Posted by: Ted at 11:27 AM | category: Square Pegs
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