Ace, among others, has cowbell.

Random Nuclear Strikes has Professor Booty (not safe for work).

What'cha think, a little Rocket Jones bouncy-bouncy for special occasions?

Posted by: Ted at 03:56 PM | category: Square Pegs
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Posted by: Ted at 05:18 AM | category: Square Pegs
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1 I'm still not cancelling the dial-up I have for backup.

Posted by: CGHill at May 31, 2005 12:54 PM (ZaLsE)

2 You are obviously secure in your masculinity.

Posted by: Ted at May 31, 2005 02:05 PM (blNMI)

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Over the holiday weekend I finished reading Daniel Defoe's Moll Flanders, a fictional story about an interesting lady. It was written in 1722, four years after his classic Robinson Crusoe.

What amused me though, was the title of the work as presented on the first page:

The Fortunes & Misfortunes of the Famous Moll Flanders &c. Who was Born in Newgate, and during a Life of continu'd Variety for Threescore Years, besides her Childhood, was Twelve Year a Whore, five times a Wife (whoerof once to her own Brother), Twelve Year a Thief, Eight Year a Transported Felon in Virginia, at last grew Rich, liv'd Honest, and dies a Penitent. Written from her own Memorandums.

Ms. Flanders (not her real name, we never learn that) is an extraordinary character, and despite the gruesome litany of her exploits given above, she's not an unkind person and is easy to be sympathetic to. The place of her birth, Newgate, was a prison of the day, where her mother was under a sentence of death.

An excellent read, once you get into the flow of the archaic writing style and vocabulary.

Posted by: Ted at 04:57 AM | category: Square Pegs
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Rachael and I were talking about blogs and blogging the other day, and she mentioned how many of her friends have Live Journals that they use as a place to vent and rant.

If you've ever spent any time skimming through Live Journals, you'd come away with the impression that half the teens in America are Columbine-capable manic depressives with a severe death wish.

Rachael admitted to being worried about some of her friends that she doesn't see very often, because she reads their Live Journals and expects them to be seriously screwed up in the head. Then, when they get together she's a little freaked by how normal and happy they are.

That's the problem with blogs in general. Your place to rant and rave or bare all or throw out wry commentary is nothing more than a mask. Intimacy is simulated by the details and personal nature of one's posts, but we're all just looking at the face the author wishes us to see. When you don't understand that or forget, then you get a very skewed perspective on who a person is and what they're really like. Little wonder then, that not only is it almost impossible to adaquately explain what blogging is to someone who's never heard of it, but that the whole blogging phenomenom is so misunderstood by pretty much everyone (media, politicians and even bloggers themselves).

Posted by: Ted at 07:09 AM | category: Square Pegs
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1 Well we'll just have to test you theory when you come through CT and lunch with Spork and I!

Mwuahahahaha.

Posted by: Stephen Macklin at May 29, 2005 08:01 AM (ics4u)

2 unfortunately, for my co-workers and my family, I'm pretty much the same all the time.

Posted by: Derek at May 29, 2005 09:57 AM (iY1/W)

3 I'll bring the grated strychnine.

Mwuhahahahaha!

Posted by: Tuning Spork at May 29, 2005 04:18 PM (Rl1kU)

4 I just hope you guys aren't too disappointed when you find out that I'm really a short asian lady with thick glasses and a thicker accent.

Posted by: Ted at May 29, 2005 04:53 PM (+OVgL)

5 I already had you pegged as looking like Edna Mode, just not as masculine.

Posted by: Rob@L&R at May 30, 2005 10:29 AM (rZxIa)

6 I think that it was you who, when I had Caterwauling dot com running, was shocked to find out that I'm pretty blase and quiet in person. Everything I wrote on the blog was true, and the rants were real. But that was only one side of my personality. Hell, I got so much vitriol out of my system online that I didn't have any energy left to drop-kick a Care Bear in a toy store.

Posted by: dawn at June 01, 2005 03:06 PM (jFpDX)

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Peeps, I'm taking a couple of days off for an extra-long weekend. This is my first real time off since last August.

I'm not doing anything special, just some down time. I've got a long list of little things to do around the house which I may or may not bother with. Rocket Jones falls into that category, so if you don't hear from me for a few days, well, you know I'll be back soon enough.

In the meantime, go visit Alien Loves Predator. Really. I had tears from laughing so hard.

Posted by: Ted at 07:11 AM | category: Square Pegs
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1 I have a ton of crap to do around the house too, but I'm still blogging.

Wuss!
Girly Man!
Mama's boy!

Oh wait...
I haven't even answered my comments let alone posted!

Oh GREAT!

Thanks a lot Ted.
Now I'm a girly man too!
I hope you're happy now!

Man, you're a bad influende on me

Posted by: Tricia at May 26, 2005 08:38 PM (lRTFS)

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Female: I hate having my period.

Me: Look at the bright side.

Female: What bright side?

Me: In school, you never had to go do a problem at the black board while sporting a boner.

Female: *snort*

Posted by: Ted at 07:28 PM | category: Square Pegs
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Around this time of year, Little Debbie starts coming out with various 4th of July themed goodies. I noticed that on the back of the box for their "Stars and Stripes" cupcakes they've put a primer on how to display the American flag.

Posted by: Ted at 06:10 AM | category: Square Pegs
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It's that my fantasy league baseball team sucks that bad.

Posted by: Ted at 05:56 AM | category: Square Pegs
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From my friend Gordon Tatro:

This was a pretty interesting story from The Sunday Wichita Eagle Newspaper a couple of weeks ago. A resident in the area saw a ball bouncing around kind of strange in a nearby pond and went to investigate. It turned out to be a flathead catfish who had obviously tried to swallow a child's basketball which became stuck in its mouth!!

The fish was totally exhausted from trying to dive, but unable to because the ball would always bring him back up to the surface. The resident tried numerous times to get the ball out, but was unsuccessful. He finally had his wife cut the ball in order to deflate it and release the hungry catfish.

He finishes up with this bit of wisdom:

I suppose you need pictures in order to believe this? OK... But just remember:

Be kinder than necessary...
for every creature you meet (be they human or not)...
is fighting some kind of battle.

Posted by: Ted at 05:12 AM | category: Square Pegs
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ZZ Bub.

"Lord take me downtown. I'm just looking for some tush."

Posted by: Ted at 08:59 PM | category: Square Pegs
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1 Ted, you need some professional help.

Posted by: Victor at May 23, 2005 08:06 AM (L3qPK)

2 As long as you say that with a smile...

Posted by: Ted at May 23, 2005 08:57 AM (blNMI)

3 I think it's brilliant. Ted's an artist, reinventing himself in his medium each time.

Posted by: shank at May 23, 2005 01:50 PM (+H1yK)

4 LOL!

Posted by: JohnL at May 23, 2005 04:44 PM (YVul2)

5 John L stole my comment...

Posted by: Susie at May 24, 2005 11:39 AM (V1YvO)

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Maybe the US should head north and provide a little (re)democratization in Canada. The political situation there has gone way beyond farce.

I'd love to see a contingent of Iraqi peacekeepers patrolling the streets of Ottawa.

Posted by: Ted at 06:11 AM | category: Square Pegs
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The butler did it.

Posted by: Ted at 04:30 PM | category: Square Pegs
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My "official" email address has changed over on the sidebar. The hotmail account has been gradually overrun by spam, so I'm making the switch to Gmail. You'll still be able to reach me at the old account, but be aware that my response might be delayed because I'm not checking it as often as I used to.

Posted by: Ted at 06:01 AM | category: Square Pegs
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1 Wondered what was up with that... I emailed stating I'd borrowed your google bomb and even did a post about it, and never heard back if you minded... I don't like doing things w/o asking permission first. :-P

Posted by: John at May 18, 2005 08:40 AM (GuDvW)

2 I don't mind at all, just hadn't had a chance to let you know. Saw the post and your email this morning, but had to run and can't access the hotmail account from work, so I was going to respond tonight.

That's me, a day late and a dollar short.

Posted by: Ted at May 18, 2005 09:12 AM (blNMI)

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One of my little foibles is that I hate to mispronounce someone's name. I won't remember it (I'm terrible with faces and names), but I'll absolutely work on the pronounciation until I get it right before forgetting it.

A couple of blogging friends have names that I'm sure I butcher, even if only in my mind.

Boudicca - I pronounce it "bow (like the front of a ship) dee-cha", and the emphasis goes on either of the first two sylables interchangably, for no good reason.

Prochein Amy - In my mind, I say "pro-cheen", rhymes with protein. Dunno if that's right or not.

There are others too, but mostly I can suss 'em out if I don't know right off how to say it. So there ya go, I fret over mispronouncing names. Weird, eh?

Posted by: Ted at 06:03 AM | category: Square Pegs
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1 These are my guesses:
Boudicca - Bodiqua.
Prochein - Pro-sheen. Like Indochine, or Prairie du chien.

?

Posted by: shank at May 17, 2005 10:56 AM (+H1yK)

2 pronouncing names correctly is a good way to avoid embarassment and I'm a big proponent of that. I worked as a P.A. announcer for a pro hockey team for a while, a lot of odd names on every roster. It's usually the ones that look tame that really get ya. There's nothing worse than mispronouncing a player's name when they're sitting 4 feet from you in the penalty box. Rest assured that they will correct you in a heartbeat.

Posted by: Derek at May 17, 2005 11:05 AM (wEVXE)

3 Boudicca: "Boo-DEEK-ka"
Prochein: "Pro-Chay'n" (the ' is there because it's not quite three syllables. Run it together quickly, like if you were drunk...)

And if you're ever curious, it's "Den-EE-ta" ;-)

--TwoDragons

Posted by: Denita TwoDragons at May 17, 2005 01:18 PM (nwO5C)

4 Denita, I never doubted about how to pronounce your name. I can say that now without feeling stoopid because I was already saying it correctly.

Posted by: Ted at May 17, 2005 06:14 PM (+OVgL)

5 Opps, I was even saying Prochein wrong!!!! LOL!!! www.dictionary.com was not much help!

Posted by: Amy at May 18, 2005 07:28 PM (tPzR0)

6 Ted--COOL! It's surprisingly rare for someone to get it right on the first try, despite what seems to be rather cut-and-dry phonetics. Three years later I still have neighbors that pronounce my name "Den-EYE-ta" or "Dih-NET-ta". For many years I had a kindly old lady who lived down the street from my childhood home, who insisted on calling me "DON-ee-ta".

To say the least of the myriad derisive derivatives... Just be glad "Ted" isn't hard to fob up or turn into a nasty insult... ;-)

As for the others, did anyone find out how they're actually pronounced?

--TwoDragons

Posted by: Denita TwoDragons at May 19, 2005 12:31 AM (aLqE1)

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The headline reads "At Least 24 Iraqis Killed; 50 Bodies Found".

Uh, yeah. In my school 50 was more than 24.

Posted by: Ted at 05:52 AM | category: Square Pegs
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1 maybe they all weren't iraqis.

Where do you bury the survivors?

Posted by: shank at May 17, 2005 10:57 AM (+H1yK)

2 I didn't think of that, although I'd suppose the survivors would bitch if they tried to bury them.

Posted by: Ted at May 17, 2005 06:16 PM (+OVgL)

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It wasn't.

I remember looking at my watch and seeing it was nearing 9pm when we dashed for our cars through the rain. At this point, we'd been standing around under cover for at least a half hour.

The game resumed at 9:40pm after the storms rolled on out.

So those tickets we all bought aren't any good. I'm mildly annoyed at the length of the delay, because by then most everybody had to have left the stadium. Then again, I realize that minor league teams probably have a razor thin profit margin and will do most anything to avoid rainouts. Oh well, at least we got to see a good inning and a half of baseball.

Posted by: Ted at 06:01 AM | category: Square Pegs
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Last year on May 11th, I posted this picture, showing a small flower bed in my front yard and describing what I was hoping would happen.

Here's the same bed this year, taken this morning (in the extended entry). You don't need a lot of space for a spectacular flower bed, especially if you go vertical with it. more...

Posted by: Ted at 01:52 PM | category: Square Pegs
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We'll be at the stadium in front of (or near) the ticket windows between 5:30 and 6:00. I've emailed our cell phone number to those who expressed interest, so if you haven't heard from me, let me know in the comments.

Background and details here.

I'm looking forward to meeting y'all.

Posted by: Ted at 09:04 AM | category: Square Pegs
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main-frame ('mAn-frAm noun): An obsolete device still used by thousands of obsolete companies and government entities, serving billions of obsolete customers and obsolete constituents, making huge obsolete profits for obsolete shareholders, and this year's obsolete models run twice as fast as last year's.

Posted by: Ted at 06:30 AM | category: Square Pegs
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If you type "36DD" into Google, you'll get page after page of porn sites.

If you type "36HH" into Google, you'll get page after page of online bra stores.

Posted by: Ted at 08:21 PM | category: Square Pegs
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