Official results later, after we locate some missing absentee ballots.

Also, I'd like to officially announce that there was almost zero participation by minorities in the voting process, but it was due to the fact that my street cred is right up there alongside Pat Boone, not that we disenfranchised an entire class of people for nefarious purposes.

In the meantime, enjoy the apparent winner, subject to change by recount or lawsuit.

Posted by: Ted at 06:03 AM | category: Square Pegs
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I don't know and I don't care.

Posted by: Ted at 04:42 AM | category: Square Pegs
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Nothing in particular, I just love the way that sounds when you say it loudly.

Posted by: Ted at 05:41 PM | category: Square Pegs
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I'll be wearing a cap and holding a pennant.

Posted by: Ted at 08:56 PM | category: Square Pegs
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1 "Yes. This is John Malkovich and I've got an idea for a film about zombies trying to understand a baseball game..."

Posted by: Tuning Spork at May 11, 2005 09:26 PM (lEB6y)

2 P.S. That photo is golden. And your photoshop skills are improving!

Posted by: Tuning Spork at May 11, 2005 09:31 PM (lEB6y)

3 Strange Strange Strange Dad!

Posted by: The other daughter at May 11, 2005 09:54 PM (+OVgL)

4 Just how *are* we going to work that out?

Posted by: Victor at May 11, 2005 10:05 PM (Sx8zO)

5

Posted by: Tuning Spork at May 11, 2005 11:46 PM (lEB6y)

6 For some reason, a quote from "Steel Magnolias" popped into my head: "I'd recognize that penmanship anywhere. You've got the handwritin' of a serial killer." I laughed my ass off at this entry -- thanks for that!

Posted by: dawn at May 12, 2005 07:32 AM (Dh1V0)

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This one *is* naughty enough to go into the extended entry, but I just couldn't pass up on the title.

(not even remotely safe for work) more...

Posted by: Ted at 04:29 AM | category: Square Pegs
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It's art dammit. I'm not hiding it in the extended entry.

Posted by: Ted at 04:35 AM | category: Square Pegs
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Dad, upon observing two dead-ass daughters laying around the living room: "It's Mother's Day, you should make mom breakfast in bed."

Girls:

Dad: "Do we have cinnamon rolls? Mom likes those."

Robyn: "Yeah, mom pointed those out yesterday."

Dad: "Probably because she wants them this morning."

Girls:

Dad: "Someone should go into the kitchen and make Mom some cinnamon rolls. He said pointedly, with a hint of suggestion in his voice."

Rachael: "Huh? Sorry dad, I was zoned out."

Posted by: Ted at 11:11 AM | category: Square Pegs
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"Und here is vhere ve install ze automobile batteries."

Posted by: Ted at 08:24 AM | category: Square Pegs
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1 Oooooh,I don't know........looks about right for the average Bavarian barmaid.HEHEHE!!!!

Posted by: Russ at May 08, 2005 12:50 PM (ObxzR)

2 You know that's a scene from Frau im Mond, right? And that the model rocket being examined was considered top secret by the Nazis? It's since disappeared; some think it was destroyed intentionally by the Nazis and others think it was destroyed during a bombing raid.

I liked Josephine the mouse. For some reason, the IMDB doesn't mention her, though Fritz Lang gave her screen credit...

Also, Fritz Lang invented the countdown for that movie.

Posted by: Victor at May 08, 2005 09:08 PM (Sx8zO)

3 Yep, sure did know where it came from, but not the missing/destroyed part. The picture is one of my wallpapers for my iPaq.

Posted by: Ted at May 08, 2005 09:14 PM (+OVgL)

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I always get those two holidays mixed up.

Posted by: Ted at 05:54 AM | category: Square Pegs
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She's about to be sentenced for her role in the Abu Gharib prison abuses. This might be the first time I've mentioned the whole mess, but I'll say this much now:

When she pled guilty, Lyndie England didn't flinch or try to deflect the blame. She said that she knew it was wrong, and caved to peer pressure to participate. Once again, she admitted that she knew it was wrong, yet she chose to do it anyway.

That's called personal responsibility, and it's far more than Sergeant "Military Intelligence ordered us to do it" Graner has shown.

I hope that her sentence is less harsh because of her admission. It was wrong, it was stupid, but still, my respect for her has gone up a notch.

Posted by: Ted at 08:12 AM | category: Square Pegs
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One of my Christmas presents was Sims2, which nobody played because none of our computers at home had enough horsepower to run it. Since we got the laptop, it's become the Sims machine when not being used for anything else.

I've futzed around with it for a few hours over the last couple of weeks, and on Monday night I killed my first Sim. He was a whiney snot and I got tired of his attitude. The killing part wasn't fun and I was amazed that his bladder lasted longer than his little electron heart.

People all over are playing God in these virtual worlds, but to me it's like a horrible training program on how not to take care of someone. Like, oh... the elderly? It strikes me as singularly stupid that we've given youngsters the means to refine and perfect their cruelty when it comes time to deal with an aging Mom and Dad.

Maybe I've just been in a mood lately, but a home isn't looking like such a bad thing any more.

Posted by: Ted at 05:42 AM | category: Square Pegs
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The latest meme I've seen around (Gir was first) is something about "How gay is your website". I submitted Rocket Jones and it came back with "50% gay - at least bisexual".

That surprised me, what with all the zombies and rockets stuff lately. My wife might be right. She says I'm overcompensating. Plans to redecorate the place have been scrapped, although I am thinking about building a deck off of the right sidebar. With a built in grill. And a beer cooler. With a tap.

Not that there's anything wrong with "bisexual" (he says in a deep manly voice while scratching himself). Especially if you're a woman.

Posted by: Ted at 07:50 PM | category: Square Pegs
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Be glad it wasn't something really scary like Abba.

And what about Zombies? You never hear from Zombies! That's the trouble with Zombies, they're unreliable! I say if you're going to go for the Angel bullshit you might as well go for the Zombie package as well. -- George Carlin

New tagline over on the sidebar too.

Posted by: Ted at 05:58 AM | category: Square Pegs
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They come a-running just as fast as they can.
Every girl's crazy for a sharp dressed man. -- ZZ Top

Posted by: Ted at 04:05 AM | category: Square Pegs
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Mookie and her date (an interpretation by Dad):

They all kind of look like this to me. If you have daughters, then you understand.

Posted by: Ted at 08:55 PM | category: Square Pegs
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I was puttering around the house last night, half-watching some documentary about teaching youngsters or something like that. This caught my ear:

Boys have a penis. Girls have a vagina.

Anatomy? Sex-ed? Either way, those kids were way too young for that.

Damn. more...

Posted by: Ted at 05:27 AM | category: Square Pegs
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Q: What do you call zombies in your whirlpool?

A: Stew.

Posted by: Ted at 09:25 AM | category: Square Pegs
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"Do you have Prince Albert in a can?"

Posted by: Ted at 01:06 AM | category: Square Pegs
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