April 30, 2004
The Ace of Aces game system was a stroke of brilliance when it was first released by Gameshop Inc. in 1980. Designer Alfred Leonardi, a history teacher, crafted a totally new game mechanism which used illustrated "programmed" books to recreate aerial combat. For the first time, gamers could fight a dogfight using simultaneous movement without cumbersome log sheets, enormous rulebooks, and many hours of playing time. In fact, a game of Ace of Aces played by experienced players can move so quickly that it is virtually a "real time" simulation.The original Ace of Aces "Handy Rotary Series" came with a pair of brown game books each slightly smaller than a paperback novel. Each book contained 223 illustrations depicting various views from the cockpit of the player's aircraft. The view on each page was oriented to show the location of the opponent's aircraft. For example, the "Allies" book showed a view of the opposing Fokker as seen from a Sopwith Camel cockpit. Conversely, the "Germans" book showed a view of the Camel as seen from the cockpit of a Fokker Dr. I triplane.
Click here to see a sample page from the German book.
One neat feature of the system is that you can fly multi-plane dogfights, as long as you have enough books (or bookmarks) for each player.
I've got the original "Powerhouse" edition (#5 on the link above) which pits a Fokker D-VII against a Spad XIII. It's an amazing game, easy enough for kids to play, yet still rich enough for aircraft buffs to get serious about.
Other editions featured different planes and even a balloon-busting version where you could shoot down the tethered balloons used by both sides to hold observers and artillery spotters.
Later, WWII editions titled Wingleader were released. These used a similar, but not identical, gaming system and let you fly either a P-51 Mustang or Focke-Wulf FW-190 in combat.
Jet Eagles takes the concept into the modern era, pitting an F15 Eagle against a Mig29 Fulcrum. Since modern jet combat is often fought with long range missiles and you may never see your opponent, the system goes through some more tweaking to make it work.
I also remember a variation of the system done by another company where the opposing sides were individuals instead of aircraft. One player might be an armored warrior with a spear, while the other might be a skeleton with sword and shield. I never actually played any of these, but they looked cool at the time.
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If y'all are doing it on purpose, then knock it off. It ain't funny no more.
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06:40 AM | category: Square Pegs
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April 29, 2004
(in the extended entry - more or less safe for work) more...
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Here's a suggestion: put one of those plywood characters - "you must be this tall..." - at the entrance to that seating section. Hell, make it a life-size cutout of Ottawa's Zdeno Charra (6'9") and don't let anyone taller than his stick sit in front of the cameras.
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April 28, 2004
Super-bowl quality.
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07:52 PM | category: Square Pegs
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Eight legs, what a happy coincidence.
Imagine heaving one of these onto the ice at a hockey playoff game instead of an octopus. They wouldn't know what it was, and probably wouldn't want to touch it.
But we can do better...
It's a plushie, so it needs to be slicked up with some sort of slimy goo. I'm thinking a KY and Karo syrup mixture. Something that will drip disgustingly when it's picked up.
To keep it from looking waterlogged from the goo, spray it down real good beforehand with 3M's Scotchguard. The hell with the CFC's and the ozone man, we're doing a joke here!
I just thought of another little twist. Insert a small vibrator inside so it's throbbing a little bit. Just enough to feel wrong when it's picked up. Imagine the look on the guys face as he gingerly touches it, then realizes that it might still be alive.
See? That's not so hard. Now what else could we do with this little beastie?
Thanks to TexasBestGrok for the inspiration, via the Llama Butchers, and even farther back than that.
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06:34 AM | category: Square Pegs
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06:16 AM | category: Square Pegs
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April 27, 2004
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April 26, 2004
The finals of the 1950-1951 season were memorable because all five games were decided in overtime. The Toronto Maple Leafs won it all when rising star Bill Barilko lifted a shot past Gerry McNeil of the Montreal Canadiens for the winning goal. During the ensuing off-season, Barilko disappeared while on a fishing trip to a remote area of Northern Ontario. It was 11 years before the wreckage of the airplane and his body were found and 11 years before the Maple Leafs won the Stanley Cup again.
The playoffs of the 1951-1952 season introduced a weird hockey tradition. Two Detroit brothers came up with the symbolism of the octopus. Eight arms for eight wins needed to take home the Stanley Cup. In the first period of the fourth game of the finals against Montreal, the brothers heaved their deceased mollusc onto the ice. The idea caught on, and even though the today's modern playoff format makes the number eight meaningless, fans all over the country continue to throw octopi onto the ice during playoff games.
Stan Mikita was the first Czech player to make it into the NHL, joining the Chicago Blackhawks at the end of the 1958-1959 season. During his early career he was a scrapper and routinely racked up 100+ penalty minutes a season. After his seventh season, his young daughter asked him why he spent so much time in the penalty box, and he resolved to play a cleaner game from then on. Cutting back on his penalty minutes didn't hurt his game at all, and he won the league MVP and Lady Byng trophy for sportsmanship two years in a row. In 22 seasons he led the league in scoring four times. Later in his career he suffered a concussion that caused him to miss a quarter of the season, after which he designed a helmet which proved to be very popular. Having a star of his caliber wear a helmet took a lot of pressure off of other players during a time when almost no one wore them and wearing one caused some to question your toughness.
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April 25, 2004
(in the extended entry) more...
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April 23, 2004
We got all the curtains down and washed, and all the hardware for curtains, blinds, shades, etc removed. Furniture moved and access to every window cleared. The last thing I have to do tonight is to put a couple of CAT-5 connectors on the new cabling we ran last weekend, and a few last-second things in the morning.
A little while ago they stopped by and dropped off some materials for tomorrow. I've been wanting to do this for several years, but damn it's expensive. I know it'll automatically raise the value of the house at least as much as they cost, not to mention the improved efficiency of new windows compared to the original almost 40 year old ones. I was talking to a couple of neighbors about it, and apparently we got a decent price too.
Hockey's on. Then I need a hot shower, some kick-ass pain drugs, and some sleep. Enjoy your weekend.
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07:49 PM | category: Square Pegs
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A man asked his wife what she'd like for her birthday. "I'd love to be six again," she replied. On the morning of her birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Lucky Charms and then took her off to the local theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park: the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, and the Screaming Monster Roller Coaster, everything there was. Five hours later she staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down. Right away, they journeyed to a McDonald's where her loving husband ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a refreshing chocolate shake. Then it was off to a movie to see the latest blockbuster, a hot-dog, popcorn, a soda pop, and her favorite candy, M&M's. What a fabulous adventure! Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted. He leaned over his precious wife with a big smile and lovingly asked. "Well, dear, what was it like being six again?" Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed."You idiot, I meant my dress size!"
The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he's gonna get it wrong.
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10:03 AM | category: Square Pegs
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I don't use "senior moment" to describe myself, because I've been absent minded my whole life. I'm a fanatical list-maker, because if I didn't write it down, I know I'd forget. In fact, sometimes my biggest problem is finding an old list and trying to remember if I've already dealt with it or not.
I was going somewhere with this, but I was interupted and now I can't remember. Sounds like a joke, but I'm serious. I didn't make a note to myself, and I forgot. It's inevitable I tell you.
Damn, that's gonna bug me too.
Update: Ok, I didn't leave myself a note, but another window was open on the PC and that reminded me. And it was a list, kinda. Some bloggers share what they find on their searchengine referrer logs, and I love to read those because it's usually funny and amazing what turns up. I haven't done it before because, well, I'm odd like that, and usually won't do something that others do.
But it's a list, which makes it ok for this post, which is turning into one huge rambling mess. Besides the expected "rocket" and "how to make a rocket" stuff I find:
"porta-potty" rental rate
Probably someone from the State Department.
The Gravity Probe B satellite conspiracy
Paging Mr. Stone...
beats him like a red headed step child
Yep, I use that phrase. Surprisingly though, mine has hyphens. Ok, so maybe not so surprising. Some say punctuation is a tool for writers. In that case, I'm like the movie psychotic who misuses various tools to bludgeon understanding into your unsuspecting mind. Make sense out of that screwed-up metaphore, I dare ya!
gladiator eroticus pictures
The google hits for "softcore lesbian movie spoofs shot direct to video" start to roll in! Go me.
clipping riverdance
The nude version. It's my idea, but I need investors. Any takers? Apparently someone thinks I'll need a barber on staff too.
2004 email addresses of MR. YOUSUF
I think we'd all like to have that. Let me know when you get it, ok?
All right, enough of this nonsense.
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08:35 AM | category: Square Pegs
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April 22, 2004
proudpapa: oh man
proudpapa: my son is sooooooo dead
lemon8: Why?
proudpapa: hes been looking at internet web sites in effing EUROPE
proudpapa: HE IS SURFING LONG DISTANCE
proudpapa: our effing phone bill is gonna be nuts
lemon8: Ooh, this is bad. Surfing long distance adds an extra $69.99 to your bill per hour.
proudpapa: ...!!!!!! DAMN DAMN DAMN
proudpapa: is there some plan we can sign up for???
proudpapa: cuz theres some cool stuff in europe, but i dont want to pay that much
lemon8: Sorry, no. There is no plan. you'll have to live with it.
proudpapa: o well, i ccan live without europe intenet sites.
proudpapa: but till i figure out how to block it hes sooooo dead
lemon8: By the way, I'm from Europe, your chatting long distance.
** proudpapa has quit (Connection reset by peer)
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April 21, 2004
Thanks to the Hockey Pundits for the pointer.
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I was talkng to some co-workers this morning when one lady made a disgusted choking sound and pointed at the floor. There was a large cockroach going his merry way down the hall. One guy moved to stomp it, but stopped when I said "better not." Everyone paused and looked at me.
"Might be management."
The roach got away. I better get a good review from him.
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08:22 AM | category: Square Pegs
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April 20, 2004
A few thoughts about drivers, inspired by recent events during my commute:
I'm not anti-religion, but where in the rules does it say that as soon as you plaster devotional slogans on your car it becomes ok to be an asshole? My favorite so far is the bumper stickers that say "In case of Rapture, this vehicle will be driverless". Guess what? You already drive like a brain-dead zombie, so nobody will notice the friggin' difference!!!!!
Yesterday I passed one of those ubiquitous service vans (you know, plumbers, electricians, whatever... ladders on top, logos all over it), and got a dirty look for not letting him pull into my lane. He probably would've flipped me off, but he had a map in one hand, a cell phone in the other, looked to be steering with his knees, and couldn't spare an elbow to use the turn-signal. I didn't look to see if he was waiting for the Rapture.
Do you have HOV lanes where you live? "High Occupancy Vehicle" lanes, and on my route they're a separate roadway between the north and southbound interstates, and you need three people in the car to use them. The last couple of days the cops have been out in force enforcing it, which always makes me feel good. I don't mind if people cheat, as long as once in a while they get caught. The fines are very steep, so I consider it a tax on stupid (thanks for that one Victor).
Anyway, back to the HOV's. The cops set up at the far end of the entrance ramp to get on the HOV lanes so there's no sneaking by. This morning an SUV was trying to back up a quarter mile on the shoulder of the onramp after spotting the cops at the last minute. I laughed my ass off when another cop car pulled up behind the nitwit. Have an extra helping of ticket, ya idiot.
Still in the car, this morning I was listening to the Allman Brothers' Jessica. It's not uncommon for bloggers to post favorite lyrics, and I started laughing as I thought about this one.
Jessica
Allman BrothersDa da da da dee da da da daaah da da da daaah de dahhhhhhhh.
Da da da da dee da da da duh da da da de dahhhhhhhhhhhh.
Yeah, it's an instrumental. Stuff like that is funny when you're sitting in traffic.
I don't know what's scarier, the fact that I Googled "Jessica" + "lyrics" + "Allman Brothers" (just in case), or the fact that I got several hits. Thank God all of them just said "instrumental".
Have you seen the new NBA playoff commercial? It's got everything - bright marquee lights, rappers, squirmy young sex-bombs and Carlos Santana. It's like it was made exclusively for Laker fans, and the rest of the country can go to hell. To be fair, it'll probably appeal to a segment of the populations in Las Vegas and Branson, Mo too. Other than that, it's utterly forgettable. In fact, I'd seen it maybe four or five times before I even realized what it was for.
I don't blog much about work, but if I leave my current place of employment, expect a whole heap o' stories to pour forth. You'll laugh, you'll cry, and you'll be outraged (US taxpayers only).
All done, I feel better.
* ‘Ripple Fire’ is a mode whereas multiple military rockets are launched at a (usually ground) target in rapid sequence. It’s similar to machine-gun fire, but with big booms at the receiving end. I use the title for disjointed snippets and thoughts too short for their own posts.
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In the other game seven last night, Vancouver took on Calgary. The Canucks scored with 6 seconds left to tie, but Calgary won in OT and now advances to play Detroit.
Tonight, Toronto and Ottawa square off in their game 7. The winner takes on Philadelphia in round 2.
San Jose will meet Colorado in the other Western second round matchup.
In other hockey news, Igor Larionov announced his retirement today.
The 43-year-old Larionov, the oldest player to compete in the NHL this season, signed with New Jersey as a free agent in September. He had hoped to win a fourth Stanley Cup to cap a professional career that began in 1980 in the former Soviet Union.
The Flyers knocked the Devils out of playoffs Saturday.
"When you leave the game, it's sad," Larionov said. "It's time to move on. There are things in my mind that I want to do, but I'm not going to rush into anything."
He certainly didn't rush into retirement. In his career he won three Stanley Cups with Detroit and two Olympic Gold Medals playing for Russia. Good luck to a great champion.
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05:36 AM | category: Square Pegs
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April 19, 2004
I'll probably never even try them, because I grew up drinking diet soda (mom was diabetic - I love Tab and Fresca), so there's no interest here.
In further news, advance advertising includes the phrase "half the carbs". Gee, what a surprise.
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07:23 PM | category: Square Pegs
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