Wouldn't it be fun to take out a full-page ad in the New York Times that said:

Ok, we admit it.

You already suspected, but Dubya really screwed up when he called Karl Rove "the Architect", and now the cat is out of the bag.

We gotcha! Ever hear the saying, "Bet big or stay at home?" You were so busy looking for all those hidden conspiracies that you didn't see the great big one right in front of you.

That's right, there was no fraud committed during the election. We just plain ol' reelected George W. Bush because we knew it would piss you off, and y'all are fun to watch when you rant and rave and foam at the mouth.

Can't move to Canada either, 'cause they were in on it too.

Don't you feel stupid?

Bill and Hillary helped. Or didn't, depending on your viewpoint.

Oh yeah, some of you are saying you should all go out and arm yourselves for the revolution. Please do. What with the National Firearms Registration Database and background checks and waiting periods that you insisted on, well, they make dandy tools to help identify the ones we really want to keep an eye on.

So to sum up, the election was a huge elaborate joke on you. Every last person that voted for President Bush knew about it. In fact, we held secret meetings just so we could laugh our asses off at how oblivious you were.

That kinda explains that smirk y'all hate too, don't it?

Yep. We're all stupid. How's it feel to be dumber than us?

Four. More. Years.

Sincerely,
Uncle Karl

Posted by: Ted at 12:03 PM | category: Square Pegs
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