Hello {insert name of nitwit here},

We are conducting a survey, among those who utilize email, usenet groups, and other online systems in an attempt to make money through multi-level marketing schemes, sales of "get rich quick" publications, etc.

Please take a few moments to complete the following multiple-choice survey. Your help is genuinely appreciated, and will greatly assist our project.

1. Are you aware that you're a complete and utter idiot?

_ No, I honestly had no clue.
_ Yes, I admit it - I'm a completely clueless wanker.

2. Do you really think you're the first clueless twit who thinks they've discovered a way to make money by spamming about a REVOLUTIONARY NEW CONCEPT IN INTERNET MARKETING?

_ Gosh - yes, I really thought it was something no one had thought of before.
_ No, I realize others have tried before, but in my pathetic stupidity I truly believed that I could make money where no one else had succeeded before.

3. Are you supremely confident in your ability to avoid the life-long designation as a "pathetic loser", now that you've joined the ranks of half-witted, mentally defective drool-tards who conduct this sort of activity over the internet?

_ Yes, I truly believe I'm different from all the other retards like me.
_ No, I see what you mean - I now realize that I'm destined to be known forever as the blathering, drooling, defective pants-wetter that I am.

Thanks for taking a few moments to complete our survey. Please forward to 5 people on your mailing list, and request that they each forward it on to 5 others each, etc. etc.

(c)2003, everyone on the internet. Distribute freely without charge.

Thanks to BB on the rockets newsgroup for this one!

Posted by: Ted at 06:48 AM | category: Square Pegs
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